Okay. If you were expecting a beautiful piece of work...whoops. None for you!
This literally took me fifteen minutes to type up. That should tell you what to expect.
It's stupidity, probably crack...and not to be taken seriously...I mean it.

"Ah…sorry."

"Matt…did you just apologize for bumping into the chair."

"Shut up, Alfred."

"Dude…."

He's a Canadian through and through.

"Pancakes!"

"Gilbert…slow down or you'll choke."

"Only sissy Austrians choke."

"AHAHA! Dude! You eat so slow. Let the Hero show you the American way of eating!"

"HA! My Oma could eat faster than you! Kneel down and cry as you watch the sheer Awesome that is I!"

"You two are seriously gunna-"

"…"

"…"

"Gilbert. Here's your beer. Small gulps…Slowly. Breathe. Good. –Please hold on Alfred. I'll help you in a minute."

It's nearly impossible to change him. Though living with a Prussian…

"Gilbert!"

"What?"

"Get down here and clean up this mess…please."

"What mess. I didn't make a mess, did you? You're delusional…I think you need therapy."

"I don't drink Spaten!"

"Gott! More reason you need help!"

"If it's not gone by dinner time, you're on your own."

"But Birdie…baby."

"Sorry…but no."

And being related to an American…

"Hey bro!"

"Yeah?"

"Can I borrow some of your polar bears?"

"May I ask why?"

"Nope!"

"Okay. Why"

"Dude. I just said you can't ask."

"No. You said I 'may not'. Physically, you can't stop me from asking."

"Ok, Arthur. I need a few to try out my experiment."

"…which is?"

"Man-bear-pig!"

"…"

"What?"

"Okay. I'm going to try and be as calm as possible…Do you seriously think I am going to give you free bears for your stupid T.V experiment?"

"Yes…"

"Right. You realize you could just use your own. I mean, you have plenty."

"Matthew Williams! How dare you! I can't use American bears! They are protected by the constitution!"

"What about the man and pig -you know what? Never mind."

"...Is that a yes?"

He sometimes forgets himself...

"Alfred. Gilbert. You know...there are just some things I don't allow in my house. Do you remember what that was?"

"Haha…Mattie…C-can I see that hockey s-stick?"

"Hmm…I don't believe I have ever mentioned that. –Have I Gilbert?"

"N-Nein…"

"Oh. Well…"

"Traitor! Coward! You're worse than those Commie bastards!"

"It's called self-preservation, Dummkopf!"

"What are we whispering about?"

"W-we were just talking about….who….."

"How I was going to the…back to the store! The Awesome me feels bad. Mein Birdie deserves the real stuff. Not that crap that this idiot brought."

"Oh! Goodie! Go on then."

"Nooo! We were supposed to stick together! – Wait! I didn't mean it! I-I just got distracted. It was an honest mistake! I didn't even know they hadMrs. Butterworth's in Canadia!"

"…"

"Mattie…buddie…brother."

Still, he's a Canadian...with a well-known secret.

"Matt!"

"…"

"Hey! Where are you? You know you shouldn't kept the door unlocked!"

"…"

"Matt?"

"Je ne peux pas…Don't…"

"Huh. Matthew? Oh god! It's the aliens! –Hold on! I won't let them probe you! Ma—Oh sweet Lincoln my eyes! How do you even…Why…"

"Dieu! Al!"

"Kesese…Your brother is admiring my vital regions."

"Eww! No! Get dressed so I can kick your ass!"

"How about this. You can either watch, join, or leave. You can protect my propriety after I'm done or so help me…"

"I-I….I'm telling Arthur!"

"Now that he's gone…"

"Shall I continue to probe you?"

"Gil…just…no."

He's also part French.

Now...on another note, I am working on my other projects.
But I live in the South (of the US of A) and am taking a Meteorology class. Anyone who has seen the weather lately should understand my pain. I've been in the lab most of forever.