I AM SORRY FOR MY MISSPELLING OF RAVEN IN THE PREVIOUS VERSION OF THIS CHAPTER! I USE ravyn AS MY PEN NAME ON ANOTHER SIGHT AND MY COMPUTER AUTOMATICALLY MISSPELLED IT! MY SINCERE APOLIGIES

Hey Everyone. Okay…. I am still working on my other stories. I am, however, fighting a serious depression that I am trying to overcome. I am coming to terms with the face that I had an addiction and I let him completely ruin me. I need to get my story out so this is how I am.

Raven: Me. Well mostly me lul

Robin: lets call him bob. My ex that continued to persue me, seduce me, and suck the life from me even after he got a new girlfriend. I fell into his clutches and into his lies.

Disclaimer: nope I don't own.

P.S please give it a chance?

"Raven!" I turned to see Robin, the leader of the Teen Titans, and my current boyfriend, running to catch up to me. I smiled a slight smile and stopped my walking to let him catch up. Once at my side, he grabbed my smaller hand in his as we walked along the rocky shore. Smiling as we walked, he bent to pick up a stone trying to skip it along the waves before another rolled in. I laughed as he pouted and lightly kissed the back of his other hand. He grinned and picked me up over my shoulder before taking off in a run toward the waves. I squealed happily.

"Robin, put me down!" I screamed out too late as I felt the cold water embrace both of us. I bolt of the water laughing and looked to see him come up at the same time. He smiled at me before pulling me into his amrs.

"I love you Rae," he whispered in my ear. I smiled happily and leant to kiss his lips...

Pound pound pound! As I bolted awake I was startled out of my dream with a groan.

"What," I screamed out through the door my heart pounding. I barely heard the response through my door and groaned sitting up. Slinging the covers off my legs, I stood slowly still light headed from my sleep. As I made my way to the door, I wrapped my cloak around me and over my head. As I opened my door I saw none other than Robin standing there. My heart clenched but I bit back the emotion. "What?" I repeated slowly turning my back on him to look at the clock. It's only 3 A.M… Shit… I thought to myself, already knowing why Robin was at my door. He proved my point by wrapping his arms around my waist calmly lowering my hood.

"I missed you," he whispered as he laid a kiss upon my neck. I tried to stay strong and turned to face him.

"You should leave," I whispered urgently, the desperation evident in my voice no matter how I tried to fight it. I looked up at him. He had grown taller over the years of being my leader. His black hair was messy and lying flat and his mask, newly removed, was sticking out of his boxer pockets. From his state of dress, and him actually being in my room, I could tell he and Starfire had not slept together. I was always his second choice…

"Baby, please…. One more time…. I love you!" He beged as he pulled me against his chest, covering my mouth with his. Baby…. He knew what that word does to me… I crumbled under his touch, my walls breaking. I wrapped my arms around him signaling my surrender. He grinned against my lips, that stupid grin, and backed me into the bed. He ripped my cloak off of me, before beginning to pleasure my body. My room was already sound proof from when I was very private and wanted to keep everything, including my music, to myself. My moans turned to screams of pleasure as he worked my body with his.

An hour or so later, he collapsed beside me, cradling my body against his. He planted a gentle kiss to my forehead as he fell asleep. I began to cry silently shaking in his arms. I am such a whore… I thought as I untangled his body from mine and stood on shaky legs. As I looked down at his face, as he slept so contently, my heart began breaking all over again. I sighed and walked to the shower to try and cleanse the guilt from myself. Stepping into the shower, I finally let the tears fall. The dream played in my head of happier days. About five months prior, Robin had been my boyfriend for over a year. I clenched my fist as the memories overwhelmed me…

Over a year earlier:

… "I thought you loved her…" I whispered as Robin pushed me against the training room wall. What had started as a normal training session had blew out of the water as soon as I walked in on a sweaty, shirtless Robin. I remember his eyes catching mine and it was as if a fire had started and spread through our veins…I saw him in a new light, one I have never seen before. He had caught my body and lips to his in a kiss so fast I could not think. I looked back up into his mask with wide eyes and bruised lips.

"Raven…I love you…I don't know why I've never realized it…Raven…" he whispered bringing my lips to his in such a sweet, loving kiss. I didn't question it anymore, I just gave into him...

Two Months Later:

I pushed at Robin lightly as I felt his hands creep into my pants. He leaned up, his bright green eyes sparkling with that of a predator. I gulped trying to keep my will against him and failing miserably.

I don't know if I'm ready…" I whispered feeling him began to grind against me. I moaned under my breath as he continued touching and teasing me, making me forget what I was saying. I woke up two hours later with a content smile and nestled into his arms. I love him… and I will marry him. It's okay I thought to myself…

Present Day:

Thinking of that night brought me back to the harsh reality. I stepped out of the now cold shower and sat down on the bathroom floor curling up in a ball. I took off my bracelets, the ones wore whenever my leotard was off, and looked at the scars. Yes… the scars from my self-mutilation and self-hatred. I reached and grabbed the nearest razor, clenched my teeth, and made the first cut. I cursed quietly watching the blood run over my white towel. Another one in the trash I thought with some sick humor. The pain began to fade way too fast and I made a series of other cuts along my wrist. I only stopped once my hands started shaking. Standing slowly, I bandaged my wrist and began cleaning the blood up. As soon as the evidence from my dark deed was cleaned up, I walked into my room to find Robin gone. Of course he is gone… doesn't matter who you cheat with, you always go back to the girlfriend. I thought with a grimace. I began getting dressed (it was already 6 A.M) and took care to cover the bulge of the bandage on my wrist. I looked around my room, still filled with the unmistakable scent of sex, and walked out before I started to get sick. Not that I don't deserve it… I am sleeping with my best friend's boyfriend. God I am such a whore… I sighed at the thoughts running through my head as I created through the floor to the kitchen. I looked around the dark kitchen before preparing my tea. As the water boiled I heard a distant ruffle. As the door opened, my big brother, Cyborg, walked through.

"Morning Rae," he smiled and ruffled my hair as he passed to no doubt make waffles. I grimaced and turned back to my tea too upset to talk. Cyborg, obviously not thinking anything of my silence, began rummaging through the fridge. By the time my tea finished, Robin had come down stairs fresh from the shower.

The team was shocked when Robin and I broke up, even more when he started dating Starfire not a week later. Star and Robin had been in Gotham almost a month dealing with the criminals while Bruce was off with Justice League. He had particularly asked me not to intend for fear of Robin and I becoming a distraction to each other. Obviously he didn't plan on those two to start something. Robin and I broke up while he was over there, over a text message, and the day he got back he had a new hickey on his neck. I had smiled and played the happy friend. Truth be told I had already forgiven Starfire and Robin. However, once he came to me that first night back, I knew I would never forgive him or myself.

Before I let myself get lost in the thoughts of that night, I heard the alarm go off. I sighed as I made my way to the main screen, careful to avoid Robin. I heard the other two team mates come into the lobby as Robin began reading through the emergency report.

"Alright guys. We got Red X robbing the jewelry store downtown!" My eyes widened behind my hood. We hadn't heard from Red X in months. The last time we fought him, he had saved my life from a major backfire in Robin's plan. He had threw a bomb into the keg room below the deck of the missile ship. X had teleported me to the dock and watched as my other friends swam to safety. I had watched with mild ire as Robin carried Star bridal style onto the shore before giving his new girlfriend mouth to mouth. I had felt Red's eyes on me as I watched my friends calling my name and looking.

"What happened to birds of a feather, fly together," he had questioned amusement in his tone. I looked at him and felt his shock at the amount of hatred in my eyes.

"This bird is dead." With that said I had left him standing there and flown to meet my teammates. I felt Robin wrap his arms around me with a silent thank God and my already crushed heart broke me.

"Raven!" I shook the memory from my head and flew after the other ones on our way to fight the dark thief, the sunrise at our back.

Review? Pm? And tell me…m or t?