Co-Author: Recycler

We were partying that night, when we met them.

It was pretty average for the five of us, what with the normal club scene, hip-hop playing as people raved. It wasn't too spectacular, but we were all piss poor drunk (except for Rodney, since that guy has a stick up his ass when it comes to partying), and alcohol does wonders when it comes to making the ordinary seem extraordinary, and the extraordinary seem fucking prophetic.

My sister Jane loves the spotlight of a night club. She always had a dream of being a DJ, even when she was a kid. When she was eight, instead of being obsessed with Disney princesses or ponies, she was obsessed with the recent mixtapes of the hottest artists. Even now she was controlling the dance floor with her style as 80's techno music blared from the speakers.

Her best friend Kristin was almost her exact opposite, more of a book nerd than anything. Don't get me wrong, just because she was nerdy didn't mean she didn't know how to party, 'cause she knew how to better than most. She just preferred a good book over loud music, not that I'd ever blame her for that. She was near the bar having what was probably a surprisingly decent conversation with a guy who seemed equally interested in her.

My roommate from college, John, was a huge lady's guy. Well, he liked to think he was, anyway. He came from a family of soldiers, with his dad being a four star general in the Army, so he was always jokingly called a military brat, even though he looked more like that kid in high school who tried being with the cool kids despite no one liking him. We like him though, he was chill and didn't try too hard to be cool. He was currently standing near some pretty-looking college girls, who seemed to be giving him attention out of pity more than anything. Someday, dude.

Next to last was Rodney, the self-described prude who didn't drink/smoke/vape/hook up on first dates/anything fun ever. He was always kind of smug about how he was the healthiest guy in our circle of friends, owing his success to his abstinence from doing all the things his parents told him were bad as a kid. That didn't stop him from being a pretty nice guy once you got to know him first, the problem was just, y'know, getting to know him first.

Me? Well, I'm Jack. I'm down for whatever, honestly. That actually got me the title 'Jack of All

Trades' in high school. I got pretty good marks in almost every class I took, nothing really extraordinary, but nothing remotely bad either. Because of this, I had no real specialty. I was with Rodney (lucky me) and we were talking about what we planned to do after the club, though given how late it was it seemed like nothing but the four of them crashing at my place for the night was an option.

Anyways, we left the club a few hours later at around three in the morning, laughing like a bunch of drunkards - oh wait, that's exactly what we were - talking about our night like it was the awesomest night ever, as John and Jane would put it.

"God, did you guys even SEE me on that dancefloor? I must've busted some fierce fuckin' moves up there!" Jane slurred excitedly. I rolled my eyes, gurgling an uninterested response. Even so, I was pretty glad she had fun. Call me sappy, but even if she could be an annoying little sister, I liked it when she had fun.

"There was this guy and we were talking and he was so nice and he gave me his number! I just… gotta find it…" Kristin began digging through her purse as we kept walking, Rodney helping her along so she didn't trip and fall.

"Lucky you - those two girls said they were gonna wait for me while I took a crap, and when I came back they left!" John whined.

"Probably because you told them you were gonna take a crap," Rodney chided, stone-cold sober bastard he was.

"Hey, go easy on the guy, it's not his fault he's legally obligated to be forever alone!" Everyone (sans John) laughed at my shitty joke as we walked towards the car.

We found the car… With three - what we assumed to be - weird cosplaying teenagers inside. It wasn't unusual to find one or two teens in the area late at night, as there was a housing community not to far from here, but how three managed to not only break into Rodney's car without a sign of intrusion, without anyone in the parking lot seeing? That was what made the sight so weird.

I should've known it would lead to yet weirder things, but I was so tipsy all I could do was chuckle stupidly. The others, minus Rodney, fell into the contagious laughing syndrome. Rodney ignored us laughing at his expense and looked between the car and us. "What the hell guys?! Come on and help me get rid of them!"

John was the first to fall out of our giggle hype, his breath heavy. "M-Maybe we should ask them for a picture! Oh! Oh! Can we take them home?! It'd be a blast!"

"Wha- No! Of course not dumbass!" Rodney groaned, pulling at his pristine auburn hair. "Fuck it, Jack come back me up!" I nodded, mostly to get him to stop yelling. As he turned I mocked his actions as I followed him, making the others fall into another laughing fit. Meanwhile Rodney was furiously knocking on the car's window, trying to get the delinquents' attention.

"Hey! HEY! Get the fuck outta my car you little shits! I don't know how you got in there, but you'd better-"

The three teens apparently didn't appreciate being screamed at, since the two girls in the group kicked one of his doors off the car and sent it flying, then jumped out, each with a fucking katana in their hands pointed at Rodney, who had very reasonably shrieked like a little girl and fell on his ass. We may have been drunk, but we knew something had gone horribly wrong then, and we all shut up.

John, the idiot he is, said, "D-Did you guys see that?" I wanted to say blurt out 'no fucking shit', but I just nodded dumbly. The two girls, or at least the one with long hair, looked us over, a scowl forming on both their faces.

Rodney just sputtered, backing up slightly. Sweat trickled down his brow and he shakily pulled out his wallet, holding it out to the two girls with his other hand up. "T-Take it and leave! W-We don't want any trouble!" I stumbled forward, picking him up off the ground and pulling him back carefully.

"Yeah," I slurred. I felt the fuzzy haze of intoxication slowly slip away as the shock woke me up, causing me to nearly vomit. I held it in, luckily; I doubt these people would appreciate nasty green on their white and black outfits. "Just please don't hurt us."

The two girls - now joined by a boy - all looked at each other and spoke in a strange language. It was nothing like I've ever heard, and I've heard most languages used in first world countries. It sounded somewhat like Japanese or Korean, though.

The smaller girl - who for whatever reason could see through the blindfold over her eyes - had apparently had enough and was about to pounce, but the lone boy said something to her, forcing her to freeze midstep.

It was kind of unnatural, her ability to pause in such an angle, but it wasn't the weirdest thing. She looked down, then up, before putting her sword back. She didn't seem angry anymore, instead her attitude was almost apprehensive. Maybe the boy could understand us?

"Hey, you," Jane pointed towards him, having seemingly gotten the same conclusion as I did. "If you go, we'll forget all this happened, okay? We don't want anyone to get hurt." Which was pretty much saying we don't want you to hurt us, since there was fuck all we could do to them. Sure we had the numbers, but they had friggin' ninja swords.

He simply tilted his head and turned around, his voice indicating he was talking to someone else we couldn't see.

Not even a second later, two small box things floated out of the car. That's when it hit me - these aren't teenagers, or normal people.

I didn't know what they were to be honest, but they managed to make most of us almost piss ourselves. I wish I was joking. The two robots floated around and peered at each other, before speaking in voices that surprised no one. "Introduction: Greetings, humans. I am Pod-042, that is Pod-153." The white 'Pod' bobbed towards the black 'Pod'.

Behind me, Jane squeaked.

"W-... What?" Kristin managed to stutter. The rest of us stared on in a trance.

"Oh my god this is just like the movies!" Except for John, who's special.

"Repeat: Greetings, humans-"

"What the absolute fuck is going on?!" Rodney spoke up, his patience clearly at a solid minus fifty at this point.

The boy stepped forward tentatively, his eyes flickering back and forth as he removed his blindfold. He spoke up, his words far different than that of the Pods. Even in my slightly drunken state I attempted to focus on their language, trying to decipher the words for any that were recognizable.

It didn't work.

"Analysis: There is a distinct language barrier between our charges and the humans before us," The dark box spoke up, its voice more female than its partner's. "Hypothesis: This is due to us coming from a separate timeline where the Japanese language evolved over thousands of years into an entirely separate language. Proposal: For reference, imagine a man speaking modern Arabic attempting to communicate with a man speaking ancient Sumerian and you will understand the current issue."

"What the fuck…" I mumbled, my head feeling dizzy, and not from the alcohol. "We should believe this bullshit?"

"I do not recall Pod-153 asking you to have faith in the feces of an endangered animal-"

"Hypothesis: I believe he is implying we are lying to them, Pod-042." The female Pod, if you could call it female, turned towards us once again. "We come from the year 11945, where humanity is extinct and the world has been taken over by alien machines."

The three white haired people, who I'd somehow completely forgotten about until now, stepped forward. The blindfolded girl looked towards the white Pod, her voice coming out normally. If humans were extinct where they came from, what was with these kids then?

Unless…

"Of course," Pod-042 said. "Introduction: I have neglected to introduce you to YoRHa No. 2 Type B, YoRHa No. 9 Type S, and YoRHa Type A No. 2, respectively. For future convenience, you may refer to them as 2B, 9S, and A2.

"They lack the information on the English language that we Pods possess, so we will have to upload it to their databases as soon as possible."

Jane looked between the three, her eyes clenched shut in what was probably painful concentration. "Databases? Humans don't have databases…" She mumbled, but clearly the Pods heard.

They bobbed their bodies in what was seemingly a nod. "Correct. Explanation: As one may most likely deduce from their names, these three are androids. Humanoid machines once designed for defeating the alien menace for humanity."

The world seemed to pause as I gasped, the sudden intake of air causing me to hack. After recovering, I slowly rise up, my eyes wide and shocked. "Androids?!" We all seemed to shout in unison, which would usually cause us to look at each other and snap finger guns, but could only prove we all heard it right.

"Yes."

I shook my head, groaning as I pressed two fingers to my temple. "Hold on… I need some serious proof, because this is completely insane! I'm tempted to just call the cops and get those three arrested for this crap."

The Pods turned around and spoke to the three supposed 'Androids'. The one with long hair nodded and stepped forward, her body being revealed in full. It was pretty attractive, I'll be the first to admit, and the skintight suit only accentuated her form. She held her hand out, clearly intended for me to take. I stared at it for a while until Pod-042 spoke up.

"Reassurance: She does not mean you any harm. It was her duty to protect and serve humanity. Please, take A2's hand." I reluctantly did as told. Her hand was cold to the touch, far colder than the cool night air. She didn't look at all sick, especially if the previous display of kicking off the car door was any indication.

"Oh my God…" I muttered, my eyes wide. "Y-You're androids…"

"Hold on," Kristin spoke up. "You're saying they're telling the truth? But that can't be possible!"

"Not impossible, merely improbable. Hypothesis: Reading the data from the last 24 hours, we must have encountered a sudden and intense influx of quantum fluctuations capable of transporting myself, Pod-153, 9S, 2B, and A2 to this exact location in a separate universe.

"Proposal: Nothing is impossible, as even the most improbable scenario can happen given enough time, space, and potential outcomes." The white Pod said. Everyone just looked confused, except for the only sober one.

Rodney, being the only one to really grasp whatever that shit meant, shook his head in disbelief.

"Fuck… Okay, so we have some theoretical physics going on here, mixed in with robots from an apocalyptic Earth. Cool, so if nothing is impossible, then there's hope for you yet John." There was no real humor behind those words, the joke being said just as an escape from the rabbit hole we fell into.

"Can we go home and talk about this? I think John needs some rest…" Jane quietly piped up. We looked over near her and saw the poor guy flat on the ground in a daze.

"Well…" I looked over towards the five machines, my teeth gnawing on my bottom lip. "How are we going to fit three more people inside Rodney's car?"

I would soon come to regret asking such a question.

Yep, new story. Why? 'Cause I can. It was supposed to be after 30k words in EGDS... But Recycler and I wanted to post it as soon as we got done with it. Oops?

It's a NieR: Automata story, clearly. I think it's a great game, despite me being relatively new to it (Recycler is my wiki), so I hope I can do it justice. I'm not keen on OCs, but this idea was too good to pass up, so I took it. It's about our three favorite androids popping up in modern day Earth after Ending E, but I'll try to keep it as spoiless as possible. It's gonna have some though, sorry in advance.

This will be my second priority, with Everybody's Gotta Die Sometime being my top. So don't worry if you're a fan of that one.

Anyways, favorite, follow, and review! Reviews inspire my soul and keeps me from death's door. So give me all you have, even if it's full of criticisms.

I bid you all adieu.