Snake:Weclome to another RE fic!!! Now, I hope you all like this fic!!! Now, as the tittle states, this is Wesker's horrible day!!! He trys to order a pizza. But he runs into trouble!!! Namely, Wesker bashing... Well, not alot...
Wesker's Horrible Day
Chapter 1:I want pizza, damnit!
I do not own anything
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It was another wonderful day at Wesker's evil lair. As he sat at his computer to update his website:WWW.Ihatechris.com. So far there were 5,000 members. Including a kid by the name of Solid Snake.
"*Sigh*Lifes been so boring ever since rockfort. All I do is sit around and chat online with that kid who shares the same hatred of Chris as me..." Said Wesker.
"Lets see whats on TV..." Said Wesker sitting down to watch his EVIIIL TV. No, really! That was the brand! EVIIIL TV!!! He flashed threw the chanels.
"Dude! We're gettin' a Dell! *CLICK* I lost another one to Ditect!! *CLICK* AHHHH!!! This soap burns my skin!!! *CLICK* Come on down at Drugie-rugs!!! We have all the rugs you can dance on when you become high from drugs!!! *CLICK*"
"Theres nothing on!" Said Wesker.
Suddenly a ad came on.
"The Evil Villian Movie Marathon!!!" Yelled The Announcer Voice.
"A Evil Villian Movie Marathon?" Asked Wesker.
"Thats what I said Spooky Man With Red Glowing Eyes!!!" Yelled TAV.
"A marathon dedicated to villian movies!!!" Yelled TAV.
"Those movies are for me!!!" Yelled Wesker.
"Your darn totin'!!!" Yelled TAV.
"When is it on?" Asked Wesker.
"Tonight at 8:00 PM." Said TAV.
"Channel?" Asked Wesker.
"Channel 27."
"Thanks." Thanked Wesker.
"No problem." Said TAV.
"Well, lets see if I'm gonna watch a movie marathon I'll need beer, pizza, and some friends!..... Well, I have beer and I could order a pizza.... Well, who needs friends!" Said Wesker.
"Now where did I put that phonebook..." Said Wesker looking around.
He went into his bathroom and looked on his 'reading rack' by his tolit. He walked up to his rack and looked threw the books a book that said 'How To Kill A Redfield'.
"Hey! I've been lookin' for that!" Said Wesker touching it. Suddenly a boulder came crashing down on the rack.
"Damn Spencer worksmanship..." Said Wesker walking out the bathroom.
He walked over to his living room and saw the phonebook laying by a chair. As he walked up to it his pet Hunter ran up to it and grabbed it with his teeth.
"Hey! Hunter!!! Put it down!!! I didnt teach you to chew up books! I taught you to chew Chris up!!!" Yelled Wesker.
The Hunter took one look at Wesker and ran the other way.
"Come back here you disobedient little prick!!!" Yelled Wesker running after Hunter.
The Hunter raised his hand and brang up his middle claw.
"Oh, I'm gonna rip you teeth out your ass!!!" Yelled Wesker.
The Hunter fliped him off again.
"Next time I'm getting a Cerberus for a pet!!!" Yelled Wesker.
Finally Wesker caches up and jumps Hunter.
"Take this!!!" Yelled Wesker ripping the phonebook out of the Hunters mouth.... Tearing it to shreds...
"You little prick!!!" Yelled Wesker breaking the Hunter's neck.
"Stupid B.O.W weapons..." Said Wesker.
Wesker looked threw the ripped pages and actully found the page with the pizza number with only a few tears.
"Well, this one looks good." Said Wesker looking at one number said 'Call ----ord Pizza Place... The first letters were torn out because of the prick-err I mean Hunter.
"What ends this 'ord?" Said Wesker picking up the phone and dialing the number.
For some reason the ringing sounded like that freaky song that hot chick Alexia sang. Wesker for some reason started singing and dancing.
"Hello?" Asked the person on the other line.
"There was a friendly but naive king-I, uhh, mean hello?" Asked Wesker.
"Hello. Mmmyeeee yees. Welcome to the Ashford Pizza Place. Mmmmyeee yes..." Said the oh-so gay sounding guy.
".....Can I have a large pizza please, with mushrooms and pepporonis." Said Wesker.
"Yeeees, that'll be 45 bucks." Said Alfred.
"45 bucks?!?! How 'bout you make 20 and I wont kick your sorry little Ashford, sister lovin' ass!!!" Yelled Wesker.
"I'll have you know that my ass does not love my sister!!!........" Said Alfred.
"Do you know who I am?!?! I will kick your sissy little ass as hard as I can! And thats pretty damn hard!!!" Yelled Wesker.
"Mmmmyeees I'd like to see you try it mommas boy!!!" Yelled Alfred.
"....I never had mother..." Said Wesker.
"Thats sad... And funny at the same time." Said Alfred.
"Fine... I'll pay the money." Said Wesker.
"Good choise!!! The last guy didnt pay the price strangly.... Disapeared, mmmyeees!!!" Laughed Alfred.
".....Your one sick screwed up little child..." Said Wesker.
"And I'm proud of it!!!" Yelled Alfred.
"Okay, my adress is-"
"Sorry, we dont deliever." Said Alfred.
"...You just erned you self an ass whoppin'" Said Wesker.
"Cant you just pick it up?" Asked Alfred.
"Okay...." Said Wesker.
"Please leave your name." Said Alfred.
"Albert Wesker." Said Wesker.
"Mmmmye, hey, hey, hey, its Scary Albert. Mmmmmyes." Laughed Alfred.
".....I'm sure you'll get your ass kicked again." Said Wesker hanging up.
Wesker goes out side to see that his car is wrecked and theres spray paint on it that says "S.T.A.R.S. RULE!!!" and "HCF SUCKS!!!".
"I'll get you crazy kids!!!" Yelled Wesker into the sky.
Wesker looked to see that his car was totalled.
"Damn..." Yelled Wesker.
Wesker started walking down the street and too the pizza place....
TBC
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Snake:Okay, hope you like this fic!!! Its not gonna be that long. Only a few chapters. Please review!!!! Hehehe.... Will Wesker get his pizza?! What will happen on the way to Ashford Pizza Place?! And what will happen when he gets there?!?! Will he get back in time to see his Villian Movie Marathon?!?! Why am I asking you all these questions?! Find out in chapter 2!!!!!!!
Wesker's Horrible Day
Chapter 1:I want pizza, damnit!
I do not own anything
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
It was another wonderful day at Wesker's evil lair. As he sat at his computer to update his website:WWW.Ihatechris.com. So far there were 5,000 members. Including a kid by the name of Solid Snake.
"*Sigh*Lifes been so boring ever since rockfort. All I do is sit around and chat online with that kid who shares the same hatred of Chris as me..." Said Wesker.
"Lets see whats on TV..." Said Wesker sitting down to watch his EVIIIL TV. No, really! That was the brand! EVIIIL TV!!! He flashed threw the chanels.
"Dude! We're gettin' a Dell! *CLICK* I lost another one to Ditect!! *CLICK* AHHHH!!! This soap burns my skin!!! *CLICK* Come on down at Drugie-rugs!!! We have all the rugs you can dance on when you become high from drugs!!! *CLICK*"
"Theres nothing on!" Said Wesker.
Suddenly a ad came on.
"The Evil Villian Movie Marathon!!!" Yelled The Announcer Voice.
"A Evil Villian Movie Marathon?" Asked Wesker.
"Thats what I said Spooky Man With Red Glowing Eyes!!!" Yelled TAV.
"A marathon dedicated to villian movies!!!" Yelled TAV.
"Those movies are for me!!!" Yelled Wesker.
"Your darn totin'!!!" Yelled TAV.
"When is it on?" Asked Wesker.
"Tonight at 8:00 PM." Said TAV.
"Channel?" Asked Wesker.
"Channel 27."
"Thanks." Thanked Wesker.
"No problem." Said TAV.
"Well, lets see if I'm gonna watch a movie marathon I'll need beer, pizza, and some friends!..... Well, I have beer and I could order a pizza.... Well, who needs friends!" Said Wesker.
"Now where did I put that phonebook..." Said Wesker looking around.
He went into his bathroom and looked on his 'reading rack' by his tolit. He walked up to his rack and looked threw the books a book that said 'How To Kill A Redfield'.
"Hey! I've been lookin' for that!" Said Wesker touching it. Suddenly a boulder came crashing down on the rack.
"Damn Spencer worksmanship..." Said Wesker walking out the bathroom.
He walked over to his living room and saw the phonebook laying by a chair. As he walked up to it his pet Hunter ran up to it and grabbed it with his teeth.
"Hey! Hunter!!! Put it down!!! I didnt teach you to chew up books! I taught you to chew Chris up!!!" Yelled Wesker.
The Hunter took one look at Wesker and ran the other way.
"Come back here you disobedient little prick!!!" Yelled Wesker running after Hunter.
The Hunter raised his hand and brang up his middle claw.
"Oh, I'm gonna rip you teeth out your ass!!!" Yelled Wesker.
The Hunter fliped him off again.
"Next time I'm getting a Cerberus for a pet!!!" Yelled Wesker.
Finally Wesker caches up and jumps Hunter.
"Take this!!!" Yelled Wesker ripping the phonebook out of the Hunters mouth.... Tearing it to shreds...
"You little prick!!!" Yelled Wesker breaking the Hunter's neck.
"Stupid B.O.W weapons..." Said Wesker.
Wesker looked threw the ripped pages and actully found the page with the pizza number with only a few tears.
"Well, this one looks good." Said Wesker looking at one number said 'Call ----ord Pizza Place... The first letters were torn out because of the prick-err I mean Hunter.
"What ends this 'ord?" Said Wesker picking up the phone and dialing the number.
For some reason the ringing sounded like that freaky song that hot chick Alexia sang. Wesker for some reason started singing and dancing.
"Hello?" Asked the person on the other line.
"There was a friendly but naive king-I, uhh, mean hello?" Asked Wesker.
"Hello. Mmmyeeee yees. Welcome to the Ashford Pizza Place. Mmmmyeee yes..." Said the oh-so gay sounding guy.
".....Can I have a large pizza please, with mushrooms and pepporonis." Said Wesker.
"Yeeees, that'll be 45 bucks." Said Alfred.
"45 bucks?!?! How 'bout you make 20 and I wont kick your sorry little Ashford, sister lovin' ass!!!" Yelled Wesker.
"I'll have you know that my ass does not love my sister!!!........" Said Alfred.
"Do you know who I am?!?! I will kick your sissy little ass as hard as I can! And thats pretty damn hard!!!" Yelled Wesker.
"Mmmmyeees I'd like to see you try it mommas boy!!!" Yelled Alfred.
"....I never had mother..." Said Wesker.
"Thats sad... And funny at the same time." Said Alfred.
"Fine... I'll pay the money." Said Wesker.
"Good choise!!! The last guy didnt pay the price strangly.... Disapeared, mmmyeees!!!" Laughed Alfred.
".....Your one sick screwed up little child..." Said Wesker.
"And I'm proud of it!!!" Yelled Alfred.
"Okay, my adress is-"
"Sorry, we dont deliever." Said Alfred.
"...You just erned you self an ass whoppin'" Said Wesker.
"Cant you just pick it up?" Asked Alfred.
"Okay...." Said Wesker.
"Please leave your name." Said Alfred.
"Albert Wesker." Said Wesker.
"Mmmmye, hey, hey, hey, its Scary Albert. Mmmmmyes." Laughed Alfred.
".....I'm sure you'll get your ass kicked again." Said Wesker hanging up.
Wesker goes out side to see that his car is wrecked and theres spray paint on it that says "S.T.A.R.S. RULE!!!" and "HCF SUCKS!!!".
"I'll get you crazy kids!!!" Yelled Wesker into the sky.
Wesker looked to see that his car was totalled.
"Damn..." Yelled Wesker.
Wesker started walking down the street and too the pizza place....
TBC
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Snake:Okay, hope you like this fic!!! Its not gonna be that long. Only a few chapters. Please review!!!! Hehehe.... Will Wesker get his pizza?! What will happen on the way to Ashford Pizza Place?! And what will happen when he gets there?!?! Will he get back in time to see his Villian Movie Marathon?!?! Why am I asking you all these questions?! Find out in chapter 2!!!!!!!