Chaser 2 of Pride of Portree;

Scenario: Bellatrix develops feelings for Voldemort, but she knows they'll never be returned.

Optional prompts: (colour) cherry, (song) 'Toxic' by Britney Spears, (quote) 'They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.' - Clint Eastwood.

Word count : 1000

A/N - Let's all pretend the song 'Toxic' existed in the 70s so that part of the fic will make sense. And if I got some information (like events that happened while Bellatrix was in Azkaban) wrong… let's pretend that's how it happened in this world I'm writing about. And I'm making Sirius her favourite hated cousin.

Disclaimer - I own nothing, nothing at all, especially HP or the song Toxic


They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. No one knew that better than Rodolphus Lestrange. He'd been married to her for twenty-five years, and not a single day passed without him hearing her say how much she loved her Dark Lord.

Their marriage was an arranged one. There was no love lost or gained during it. Or not to each other that is. He had taken many lovers throughout their marriage knowing that Bellatrix was barren and unable to produce him an heir. It had bothered him when he first found out, but he learnt to accept it. After all, it was a well known fact that insanity ran in the family, and Bellatrix was a prime example of that.

That had never stopped her from offering herself to their Dark Lord. She may have been unable to give him a child but she could still be useful as a partner to warm his bed at night. He never took her up on her offer and it left her bitter. But she refused to give up still.

Seeing her try again and again without giving up…it left him feeling bad for her. He might not have loved her but in all those years they'd been together, he had started to think of her as a friend.

He remembered hearing her sister, Andromeda, listening to an atrocious Muggle song that described Bellatrix's love for the Dark Lord to a 't'. He was ashamed of himself for even thinking or comparing his dear Bella to such a despicable thing but if the shoe fit…

He snorted as the image of Bellatrix dancing to the song in front of the Dark lord pushed its way to the forefront of his mind. Wouldn't that be a sight? Bellatrix dancing provocatively around him, posing dramatically all over the throne room, clinging to him whilst singing that Merlin damned song.

He had to admit, it would be quite a sight. And the song fit perfectly with her infatuation with the Dark lord. He was too dangerous for her, smothering her light in insanity. With no hope for escaping the toxic love that was making her lose her head. If only she saw what it was doing to her. But it was like they said, love is blind and always accompanied by madness. Seeing her like this… it was tearing his soul apart.

He remembered her younger days, when she was a happy, ambitious little thing. All wild black curls and cherry lips. Oh those were the days. She hated him at first. Her marriage to him was the biggest obstacle between her and her beloved Dark lord. He found it amusing then, cute even. But they learned to tolerate each other or he accepted the fact she'd never be able to give him children and she… she didn't hate him that much anymore.

That was one way of putting it. But what else could he say? He held no delusions about their nonexistent love life. Heck, they'd only done it once and that was only to consummate their marriage. It was an event that would never be mentioned again. The last time he had felt so awkward was during his own Hogwarts days.

Oh yes, she was a real beauty then. Not this poor lovesick creature with a broken heart and mind. Life hadn't been kind to her and neither had Azkaban. It was there that the famous Black madness came out and had ruined what was left of her mind. He himself hadn't come out unscathed. They had all lost that sharp edge and clarity during their stay there. It was what made them more ruthless and vicious than before. Which, while it was good during their fights with the Order, made the distance between them and their families all that more prominent.

He remembered finding her crying her heart out one night after their escape from Azkaban. She looked at him and told him: "They fear me. My own sister and my nephew fear me!" in a broken and lost voice. He held her that night whilst pretending to be whoever she needed him to be. Be it her sister or even the Dark Lord that existed in her fantasies alone.

He would probably remember that night for the rest of his life. The 'Light side' thought Death Eaters were heartless monsters that lived for bringing pain to others. But they forgot that they were also able to feel pain. They didn't think of them as humans, as fathers and mothers and sisters and brothers. They didn't think about all the things and all of the people they were giving up for their cause. Even Walburga cried for her sons, both of them, though she'd never admit it. Bellatrix was there too that night, trying to stop her tears. Most, if any, didn't know it but Sirius had been her favorite hated cousin. Sure, she had wanted nothing more than his death but she still found his rebellion and constant failures of keeping those close to him alive amusing.

Rodolphus didn't understand why she found his death so tragic. The blow of losing her cousin should have been softened by the fact that she had hated him. That he had hated the man she loved—not him, the Dark Lord. But maybe Bella didn't mind so much about that. Perhaps she knew that the Dark Lord did not love her as she loved him. Was that why she had been so crushed to lose someone who was so vehemently against him? Was the loss so devastating simply because Sirius had been her only voice of reason against the toxic infatuation she had with the Dark Lord?

Rodolphus didn't know and probably never would. His wife's mind was too broken by the horrors she had seen to extract anything comprehensible from it. All he knew was that his Bella loved the Dark Lord but her feelings would never be reciprocated.