A/N: Just a quick note to say that the most disturbing thing I thought about the ED kiss was that Elliot kissed her first. Oh, and don't forget my other story Finzoni Di Canzone where you can request songfics. I haven't been getting requests, so if there's a song that's been stuck in your head for a long time and you think applies to Elliot and Olivia (sorry, that's the only ship I'll do :) ), review with the title of the song and the artist. 'Kay, I'm done promoting myself.

Summary: "And even though I want to be mad at you and mad at her, I can't, because I know that it's my fault that I didn't do or say anything before." EO.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own any of the Law & Orders. But Christmas is coming up...

"Welcome back, Olivia." Cragen smiled, stepping from behind his desk to hug one of his best and favorite detectives. "Thanks. It's great to be back, I'm a crappy Fed." She grinned after they separated from the hug. He handed Olivia her badge, cell phone, and gun and she gladly holstered the gun, pocketed the cell phone, and stared at the badge, sighing at how good it felt to be back.

Olivia then heard two people laughing from outside Cragen's office. She turned and saw Elliot laughing with a blonde woman, who she determined was her replacement by the looks of the badge and by the fact that she was sitting on what was formerly Olivia's desk. But something wasn't right. Elliot wasn't "just partners" with this woman. She could feel it. She closed her eyes and swallowed back the tears that were threatening to spill out. "Olivia, you okay?"

Cragen's voice brought her out of her trance. "Uh…yeah, I'm good." She swallowed again and shot a meek smile at her captain. He nodded and Olivia turned back around to find that Elliot now had his hand on the woman's thigh. "Go talk to him." Again, she turned to look at Cragen. "What?"

"Go talk to him. He's missed you."

"Captain, I'm not sure if I should."

Cragen sadly nodded and watched in horror as a tear slowly made its way down Olivia's cheek. He quickly handed her a tissue and placed a comforting hand on her back. Olivia swiftly regained her composure and smiled at Cragen. "Thanks. The eco-terrorists made me soft." He smirked, knowing damn well that eco-terrorists had nothing to do with why she had been crying.

"So Elliot, you doing anything tonight?" Dani nudged him with her shoulder. He chuckled and stood so that he was in front of her. "You know, I don't think I am."

"You want to grab a bite to eat?" Elliot was about to nod when his eyes drifted to Cragen's office. His mouth dropped open when he saw who was occupying the office with his captain. No, it's not her. She would've called me if she got back…right? "Elliot?"

"Huh? Oh, can you, um, hold on for a second?" Before Dani could even answer, Elliot was making his way toward Cragen's office. Just as he was about to place his hand on the doorknob, the door opened from the inside and he was met with the familiar brown eyes of his former partner and best friend. "Olivia," He stated, only audible to him and Olivia.

Olivia bit her lip and smiled. Even though she wanted to hit the man standing before her for flirting with another woman, she felt the urge to cry in happiness. Before she knew what was happening, Elliot's strong arms were tightly wrapped around her waist and her arms were wrapped around his neck.

Elliot closed his eyes and inhaled the scent that was purely Olivia. "God, I missed you so much." Elliot felt her smile into his shoulder. "I missed you, too, El." The two pulled away and he held her by her shoulders. "Did you get hurt? Are you okay?" She smiled at the overprotective side of Elliot, and then rolled her eyes. "Yes dad, I'm fine."

He chuckled. "Sorry, I've been worried." He gave her another quick but thorough glance, just to make sure that she wasn't downplaying any injuries she might have gotten on her case. She looked good. She looked better than "good." She was Olivia Benson, she always did. Not much had changed about her appearance, save for the once small bags under her eyes were a bit more evident and her hair was longer.

"Hey! Look who it is!" Elliot and Olivia both turned their heads to the entrance of the precinct, where Munch and Fin were making their way towards them. Elliot stepped aside as the two men came forward to hug her. "When did you get back?" Munch asked after pulling away from her.

"Yesterday. I was just in time to testify." Elliot's brow furrowed.

"You've been back for a day and you didn't come see us?" Fin voiced the question Elliot had been thinking.

"After court, I was just tired and wanted to go home, which is when I remembered that all my stuff was in storage. So I resorted to crashing at Casey's."

The three men nodded, still a bit hurt that she hadn't bothered to call. It was at that moment Cragen chose to step out of his office and tell Fin and Munch that they had to finish up the paperwork. "Good to have you back, Liv. Maybe if Dad gives us the rest of the night off, we can all go for drinks." Fin said, making sure to say the last part a bit more loudly. "Maybe if you just finished your paperwork on time, we wouldn't have this problem." Cragen responded, walking back into his office. "Hey, I tried." Fin shrugged as the others laughed.

Elliot turned back to Olivia and as he was going to ask her if she wanted to go for coffee, Dani decided to make her presence known and stood beside Elliot. "Elliot, you still want to grab that bite to eat?"

"Eh, um-" Before Elliot could decline, Olivia interrupted. "Go, El. I think I'm just going to crash at Casey's again. It's been a long day." Elliot opened his mouth to say something, but he couldn't find the words. Don't go, Liv. Please don't go. Before he knew it, Olivia was rushing past him and out of the precinct, leaving behind three confused detectives, one disheartened detective, and a concerned captain.

"So about that food…."

"No, I can't go. Maybe some other time." He placed a hand on her shoulder and gave it gentle squeeze. As he was going to walk away from her, she turned him around. "Elliot, I don't get it. Earlier you were kissing me and now you're avoiding me like the plague."

"I'm sorry. I just…."

"You love Olivia, that's obvious. But you should at least have the decency to tell her." She cynically grinned. Elliot looked down at his feet and smiled. Dani gave him a small push on the back. "Go after her." He gave her a brief, thankful hug and a short kiss on the forehead. "Thanks, Dani."

"You got it. Now go." She pushed him a bit more firmly this time. Elliot ran out of the precinct and toward the elevators, hearing a chorus of "Elliot and Olivia sitting in a tree" coming from two voices that were easily distinguishable as Munch and Fin.

Once the elevator hit the ground floor, Elliot sprinted outside, quickly hailing a cab and running through what he was planning on saying to Olivia on his way to Casey's. In a matter of minutes, Elliot found himself standing in front of Casey's apartment building. Scanning through the names listed on the wall, quickly finding "Novak, C" and pressing the buzzer that corresponded with the name tag. "Yeah?" He heard a teary voice come over the speaker and he immediately forgot what he had planned on telling her.

"Olivia? Olivia, it's me. Let me in." He waited for a few seconds, hoping that Olivia wasn't considering not letting him in, before hearing the buzzer. He immediately pulled open the door and didn't even bother waiting for the elevator, but instead taking the stairs all four flights up to Casey's apartment. He knocked on the door, out of breath. "Liv, open the door."

He heard the deadbolt unhitch and the lock unlock, and before he knew it he was face to face with Olivia, who had vainly tried to conceal the fact that she had been crying. Elliot's heart twisted at the thought of him being the cause of her crying. "Hey, hey what's wrong?" He asked, stepping into the apartment to embrace her.

For the umpteenth time that day, Olivia tried to hold back the tears threatening to fall over this one man. She shut her eyes tight and pressed her face into his shoulder, trying hopelessly to push back the tears. She felt Elliot's hands running up and down her back trying to comfort her and his voice telling her everything was going to be alright. Olivia opened her mouth to say something, but her voice hitched and signaled the tears to fall. She didn't care anymore.

Elliot gently pushed Olivia away from him and wiped her tears away with his thumb. "Hey, what's wrong?" She shook her head and looked past him. "N-nothing's wrong, El."

"Olivia, I've never seen you cry like this before. Something's wrong."

"Elliot, I told you, nothing was wrong, just leave me alone." She stood from the couch, where Elliot had maneuvered them in the midst of Olivia's crying. Elliot stood and followed her. "Olivia, something's wrong. I know it."

"Elliot, nothing is wrong. Just drop it." She half-yelled, emphasizing every word.

"Please, Liv, tell me what's wrong." He placed a hand on her shoulder, turning her to face him.

"Nothing is wrong!"

"Olivia-"

"You want to know what's wrong, Elliot? You really want to know? I spent every waking moment in Oregon thinking of you. Everything I saw reminded me of you. I had to solve a rape case for God's sake. I almost blew my cover because I was moaning your name in my sleep. Then I had to lie- probably the biggest lie of my life- and say that you were nobody. Then I come back, ready to tell you everything I've felt for you these past 8 years, and I find you flirting with my replacement. And even though I want to be mad at you and mad at her, I can't, because I know that it's my fault that I didn't do or say anything before. I know that you're not my property and it's stupid to be jealous of someone that has what I've wanted for 8 damn years because it's not like either of us have made a move. And it's silly to think that you would even look at me as more than a friend because you could have any woman in the world you wanted with those damn eyes and that smile of yours, but I just thought that maybe I would've gotten a better welcome home."

Elliot stood before a red-faced Olivia, his jaw hitting the floor. He wanted to tell her that the only woman he wanted was her, but he was too astonished to move. "Elliot, just...just go." Olivia said after Elliot still hadn't said anything.

Olivia went to open the door when she felt a hand turn her around. "I love you." Elliot simply stated. "I love you so much, Olivia. You have absolutely no idea how much I missed you and I don't think you ever will. I've been afraid to make a move because if we did get together and something happened to us, I don't know what I'd do without you as a friend. I wasn't the same without you, Liv. I don't ever want to have to feel the way I did when you were gone again. For that matter, I don't want you to ever leave me again. I love you, Olivia."

Olivia smiled the first genuine smile Elliot had seen in a long time. He placed one hand on her waist, swiftly pulling her towards him so their bodies were pressed, and the other hand on her cheek, tilting her head up to give him easier access to her lips. The moment Olivia had been waiting for for 8 long years had finally come. She was kissing Elliot and nothing she had ever felt before compared to it. They stood in the middle of Casey's apartment kissing until they heard applause from the doorway. The two quickly separated, wiping their swollen lips and sharing embarrassed glances.

"Not that I'm not happy for you two or anything, but next time you choose to play tonsil hockey, choose another location, preferably nowhere near the middle of my apartment." Casey chuckled.

Elliot and Olivia nodded, embarrassed, and heard Casey laugh.

"It's about damn time, though."