Post 47 seconds AU. Two shot.
based on a prompt from castlefanficprompts. Full prompt will be posted at the end of the story.
He really can't bear seeing her right now. Or ever again. Problem is, he doesn't think he can go without seeing her either. His options here are limited.
But Castle is still fuming, still insanely angry with her for lying to him like that.
She knew he loved her this entire time. All this talk about needing her walls to come down first, about progress, all the hugs and lingering gazes and touches and … it was all a lie. Kate was never really waiting for him. She just hasn't figured out how to let him down yet.
Beckett – despite being a great detective – hasn't been able to find out why he is suddenly so cold. She definitely knows something is up; he isn't exactly hiding it.
Part of his heart breaks when he notices the confusion and hurt in her eyes, but another part of him, a much stronger part, is even more irritated by it. How dare she be upset. If it weren't for her lies, they wouldn't be here.
They could have continued as before. Partners, solving crimes. A tough and savvy detective and a writer who lightens the mood and puts the story together. Eating Chinese or getting burgers after a long day at work. And, at the end of the day, they would go home to someone else.
They went through that for three years. Of course, jealously flared up occasionally. But they still had a good time.
But now, Rick isn't so sure they can go back to the way that they were. Before everything. Before their fight about her mom's case, before she nearly bled out in his arms, before she disappeared out of his life for months, before she surprised him at his signing and forced her way back in. Before unspoken promises.
Unspoken promises he shouldn't have clung to.
Beckett probably enjoyed having a funny sidekick by now. By pretending she had no memory of her shooting, she gave herself a way out. A way that would allow her to keep going like before, to keep him around without having to deal with the elephant in the room.
He's actually mad at himself for not confronting her earlier. He thinks he could have handled the rejection somehow. He would have needed a few days, couple of weeks maybe, but after that…
But the damage is done, and her words still feel like a stab in the back.
"I was shot. And I remember everything."
Beckett remembers everything, and it didn't occur to her to let him know. A suspect would have found out before him had he not observed her interrogation.
All these thoughts flash through his mind, when the buzz of his phone brings him back into reality.
Her name and picture appear on his screen, and although he hesitates at first, he reluctantly reaches for his cell to answer.
Somehow, he still can't let her go.
But he has to.
"Castle," he answers tonelessly.
"Hey," Beckett says tentatively. "We caught a case."
"Alright. Tell me when and where to meet you guys," he replies without much enthusiasm.
"Listen," she starts. "You don't have to come. You didn't seem to enjoy tagging along these past few days, and that's okay."
He sighs. "So?"
"Well," she begins to explain, and she sounds a little annoyed, but he also thinks he can hear a little bit of insecurity in it. Good. "I'm just saying it's not your actual job, and if you don't feel like it, then you have no obligation to show up."
"If you don't want me there…"
"That's not what I'm saying," she interrupts. "I just thought you might not want to. But if you do… I'll text you the address. Or I can pick you up if you're home, that's practically on my way."
"Text me the address," he murmurs before hanging up without another word. His screen lights up with Beckett's text.
Castle rises from his office chair, begins to slowly collect his belongings he doesn't leave the house without, and makes his way to the door.
His thoughts still circle around her lies, around his pain, and he almost dreads encountering her at the crime scene.
It suddenly dawns on him. He has to leave. She was right, he wasn't passionate about cases anymore, and the victims deserved nothing less than someone who was eager to solve their murders. Someone like Kate. But with his bad mood, he was just distracting her, putting the team out of balance.
Kate Beckett might deserve the treatment, but the victims did not.
And yet, Castle is afraid to leave. He's gotten so used to this way of life – crime fighter by day, writer by night. Or the other way around. Whenever a body dropped, really. She is the reason he started writing again. She made it more fun.
They're not exactly in a great spot right now, and he blames her for that. So if he leaves, it's likely they lose whatever years of their partnership created. Although she did a pretty good job destroying most of it already.
If he stays, he will continue acting cold, and they will end up fighting.
Or he confronts her, and they will end up fighting.
None of the scenarios seem very appealing, though he probably prefers the one without a fight with Beckett. If he just leaves now, even if they would part on bad terms, they could maybe keep some of the good memories from their years of working together. But they could still part believing that their past partnership has been worth something.
No need to damage it any further.
So, as he hails and gets into a cab, he makes a decision.
This is his final case.
Castle gets to the scene and joins the team. They all got there before him, and he greets them with a curt nod, making no further acknowledgement of Beckett who is standing right next to him.
Ryan lets a few seconds of awkward silence pass before he begins to inform everyone who the victim is. "His name is Mathias Gensler. His passport indicates that he is a Swiss national. Witnesses said that two masked men attacked both driver and Gensler before cutting a silver briefcase handcuffed to Mr. Gensler's wrist."
"So this was an ambush," Beckett concludes. "Whoever did this knew that he had that case with him."
"Looks like the attackers fled in a late model G-Wagon, no plates."
Castle takes in the information and walks over to the victim. "Is that a boot print on his shirt?"
"The killer must have held him down with his foot," Beckett replies, stepping to his side again, trying to close the distance he created.
He temporarily forgets his anger, his writer's imagination getting the best of him. "So what was in the case? Nuclear launch codes? Deadly virus?"
He can practically hear her eyeroll, and for a moment, everything is the way it was before. For a moment.
He bends down, ignoring the weird look he gets from the M.E. and sniffs.
"Castle, what are you doing with my body?" Lanie asks him.
"Just pretend that you don't know him," Beckett remarks, and a few weeks ago, that would have at least made him smile.
Not anymore. Hardly anything concerning Kate made him smile anymore. He doesn't respond to her comment, and instead gets up and faces the two, bringing the carbon to their attention.
Not matter where they stand right now, they all still want to bring the killer to justice. And so Beckett accepts his theory of the abandoned coal plant and agrees to check out the one on Hudson.
This time, he doesn't get around sitting in the same car as her, and an uncomfortable silence stands between them during their entire ride there.
They reach the coal plant, and the thrill of entering a potentially dangerous location is almost relaxing compared to the tension between them.
Castle and Beckett step through the doorway and carefully observe their surroundings.
"Castle. You were right. The shooter's G-Wagon is here," she says and pulls out her phone. "Espo, hey. I need backup at the Hudson River coal plant."
As she is talking, his eyes land on the silver briefcase. He doesn't stop to think, he just walks towards it and opens it. After she ends the phone call, Beckett catches up with him.
"What's in it?"
They both look down at the golden medallion, and he can't help himself and grabs it. He at least remembers to use a handkerchief (years of scolding from the team for getting his prints on evidence and costing them valuable time finally having some effect) before taking it from the case.
That's when a gun goes off, a bullet buzzing past them, too close for either of their liking.
They take cover as fast as possible, Beckett shooting at their attacker but missing.
"Why do you always have to touch everything?" she hisses.
"I thought you liked that about me," he responds without thinking, and there it is again. A hint of normalcy. Of the way things were.
Something rolls towards them, and she pushes him to the side, runs to the other. He sees a door and leaps through it, just as the explosion goes off.
As it does, he can't help but wonder
What if things had gone differently? What if she reciprocated his feelings? What if he told her he loved her at a different time?
As he hits the ground, the air rushes out of his lungs. He stays low for a few seconds after, maybe a whole minute, before moving again.
It's oddly quiet.
He wishes his thoughts wouldn't immediately wander to Kate, but just like so many times when it comes to her, he can't help it.
They may not be great friends or partners anymore, but his heart still races when he considers the possibility of something happening to her. Again.
He rises, slowly, and walks back the way he came. The coal plant is empty, void of any sign of Beckett or their attacker.
"Beckett?" he calls, but receives no response. He cautiously makes his way through the entire hall without encountering a single soul. He looks down and notices he is still holding that stupid artifact. But the briefcase is gone too.
As is her car, he notes as he goes outside. His anger at her returns within seconds. Of course she'd abandon him at some stupid coal plant after being shot at. She probably fled without thinking of him. Wouldn't be the first time she'd done what's best for her without thinking of him.
He checks his phone, but she hasn't thought to leave him a message either. Fantastic.
He makes sure his wallet is still in his pocket, stuffs the artifact in there with it and then calls a cab which he orders to take him to the precinct.
Castle is convinced she'll sit there, unharmed, calmly sipping the coffee he doesn't bring her anymore, staring at the murder board she started in his absence, barely noticing him entering the bullpen. He almost expects her to make a stupid joke about taking too long.
By the time the taxi arrives at the station, he is furious again, prepared to let out every bit of anger that built up over the past couple of weeks since he heard her accidental confession.
Screw parting without a fight.
He's practically shaking in the elevator, ready to unleash all fury. The doors open and he storms onto the floor, heading straight to her desk.
Where someone else is sitting.
"Who are you?" he practically yells at the poor man, who jumps in his seat and looks at him like a deer caught in headlights.
"D-Detective Sullivan," the guy stutters. "I've been here for months. You know me, Mr. Castle."
He furrows his brow. He is one hundred percent sure he has never seen this person.
"Actually, you call me Sully. You know?" The guy keeps trying, since Castle still hasn't responded.
"Where is Beckett?" he basically snaps, not wanting to bother with some unimportant detective sitting at the wrong desk.
"Your wife? Not sure, she…"
"My what?" he interrupts, but before he gets a response from the man who is now staring at him like he is some kind of lunatic, Ryan calls his name.
"What are you doing here?"
He doesn't want to explain, doesn't think he can without starting to scream, and so he ignores the question.
"Do you know where Beckett is?" he asks, struggling to keep his voice steady.
Ryan chuckles. "Shouldn't you know? Considering you cried when Alexis left for that trip several years back, we didn't think you could forget."
"What?" He is so confused, and because he can't make sense of anything Ryan is saying, he just stares at him dumbly. "What?" he repeats.
"Man, who hit you over the head? But I guess since you have been in the library for hours doing research, I can't blame your brain for being fried." He chuckles again at a joke Castle is sure he is missing, and at this point, confusion has almost wholly replaced rage. The situation is too bizarre.
"So…?" Castle prompts.
"You really don't remember, do you?" Ryan shakes his head and smirks. He lets a moment pass. "The Captain dropped off Reece and Jake for their school trip. She should be home by now," he adds after glancing down at his watch.
"Captain…?" Castle murmurs and massages his forehead. "Who…" Maybe he did hit his head when he landed after the explosion.
Ryan shakes his head in disbelief. "Are you sure you're gonna be okay getting home by yourself?" he calls after him as he turns to leave.
Castle manages to mumble out a quick "yes" before heading back outside. Maybe a bit of fresh air will clear his mind. The conversation he just had was more than weird, but if Beckett is home, he'll go there and confront her then. He doesn't care who she dropped of or what the Captain has to do with any of that, he won't just let her get away with leaving him behind.
Again.
He hails his third cab of the day and instructs the driver to take him to her address. He practically jumps out of the car upon arrival, eager to have her shed some light on the situation, to make her explain and to tell her that their partnership was over. It's time. Today's events just confirmed it.
He can't be bothered to wait for the elevator, instead opts to run up the stairs two at a time, gasping for air once he arrives at her door. He knocks impatiently and with a bit too much force, trying to steady his breath before she can answer it.
On the opposite side of the door, the sound of shuffling footsteps registers with him.
His face drops when an old lady opens it. "Yes?" she asks as she looks him up and down. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"
"I… um…," he starts, shaking his head and beginning anew. "I would like to speak to Kate Beckett?"
"Who, my dear?"
"Kate Beckett. Detective Beckett, Kate, Captain," he lists all possible aliases the woman might know her as, even trying the title Ryan used.
"I'm terribly sorry, but I think you're in the wrong place." Her forehead creases as she thinks for a moment. "There is a Kate on this floor, but her last name is Dale, I think. Lovely girl, just moved to the city." He shakes his head and she sighs. "Well, she most certainly isn't a detective, and I don't think there is one in this entire building. The guy down the hall told me he was a sailor once, but I'm also quite convinced he was never a captain of any sort."
Castle groans and steps back, massaging his temples again.
"I'm sorry I couldn't be of any more help, dear. Would you like a cup of tea? Or coffee maybe?"
"No, no… Thank you. I'm sorry I disturbed you, I'll leave."
With that, he turns on his heel and walks back onto the street. With nowhere to go but home, he starts to walk to his loft. It'll take him a while, but maybe it'll clear his head. Everybody seems to be in on something that he is missing, but he doesn't have the slightest idea of what that could be.
At one point, he pulls out his phone to call her, but she doesn't answer. He notices he still carries that dumb medallion with him, since he had bigger concerns when he was at the precinct.
Stupid case. He should have just told her no right away.
By the time he reaches his building, he has made up his mind. He'll call her the next day and end their partnership; if she doesn't answer, he'll go to the precinct and tell her in person. But whatever they had, it's over. It has to be.
He pulls out his keys and unlocks his front door, entering the familiar space and dropping his jacket at the entrance. He doesn't care what time of day it is, he needs a drink, now.
"Babe, please put away your stuff. The next person walking through that door is just gonna fall over it."
He definitely recognizes the voices, would know the sound in a room full of people with music turned all the way up. He's listened to it when it was used to accuse people of murder, promise justice to families, when it quivered when she almost broke into tears.
Kate's voice.
TBC
A/N: Thank you all for reading! Any review/favorite is greatly appreciated. One more chapter to come, so stay tuned ;)