"I love you even though it isn't fair."
He sent my head, and my heart, spinning sometimes. In both how we seemed to be going in circles, with him almost revealing the true extent of his feelings, or my almost giving in and attacking his mouth with my pent up frustration, and how, sometimes, he could be so sweet, it almost made me melt.
But she always comes back.
Why can't she just stay dead? I think I hate her. I know you may think that it's like hating myself, but it isn't.
I'm not her.
If only I was. If only it could be me that he's always running to. But then, if I killed her, would it be suicide?
I wouldn't kill her, of course. No, not couldn't, wouldn't. If there's one thing I've learned from the past, it's that I am perfectly capable of killing. But, should he choose her, she'd need to be alive. Well, as alive as mud and bones can be anyway.
Besides, if I killed her, who would he leave me for? So she stays . . . animated, because I'll respect his choice, should it not be me, while in the meantime, he uses me and loves her.
But, I let him do it, so who's more at fault? I'd let him keep coming back to me forever, I'm afraid. I'm strong. I'm stubborn. I'm independent.
I'm in love.
And that, my friends was my undoing.
Because, like when the only one who can stop your tears is the one causing them, the only one who can put my heart back is the one who ripped it out in the first place.
So when she comes around, I become greener with the scenery. I turn into a jealous lawn gnome, and I do so almost willingly.
For him.
But her? No. I'm free to hate her.
I am trapped in a love triangle that acts more like a circle. Because, no matter what, it always ends up where it started.
With her.
I sometimes wonder if they love each other at all, or if they were just two lonely people, clinging to each other's acceptance.
But, she doesn't accept him. She accepts the human that he becomes once a month, and that's not fair to him.
I know first hand though, that fairness goes out the window in love. All may be fair in love and war, but love triangles in the warring era?
That's a different story entirely.
So, I'll love him, even if it isn't fair, until I either fade into the background, or fall into his arms in a way that he's only let her do so far.
A/N: Whee. I need to explain this one.
First off, she is speaking at the beginning. A long time ago, my teacher told me that if you start a story off with dialogue, your whole story will end up dialogue.
Well, ha friggin' ha.
Secondly, the tense does change a lot in this, but if you read it carefully, it makes sense.
Third, this story was very much inspired by both Greener With the Scenery, by The Used (which was my personal theme song for a long time) and Kikyo's little talk on how she wants to be an ordinary woman in "Why Can't the Bitch Just STAY Dead" . . . or as the rest of you may know it as, "The Tragic Priestess Kikyo" or whatever the title is. I have my own titles for each episode. ^^
I'll be writing another story on the ordinary thing, but to me, where Kikyo is perceived as this extraordinary priestess, she wants to be ordinary.
And Kagome is just an ordinary school girl, but inside, she's got the power to become extraordinary.
:D
Fourth, I managed to write this without once saying any names. Didn't realize that until after I was done though.
Fifth, I figured you could interpret the title in two different ways. In one way, there's a situation where a person is almost like a chameleon, becoming less and less noticeable to someone, or as I showed with the 'jealous lawn gnome' comment, you get more and more jealous. So yes. Take it as you will.
Lastly, I'll give you the lyrics to Greener With the Scenery
You took it back
How could you go and do something like that?
My fingernail phase
The worst has got the best of you
I ask you and I know I need change.
Change.
You took it back
You ripped my heart out of my then you put it back
I'm pulling my hair
I'd let you just a million times
I love you even though it isn't fair.
Round we go 'round again, circles
Play this game over again
'round we go round again
Circles.
You took it back
You ripped my heart out of my then you put it back
I'm pulling my hair
I'd let you just a million times
I love you even though it isn't fair.
Round we go 'round again, circles
Play this game over again
'round we go round again
Circles.
You took it back
You took it back
Round we go 'round again, circles
Play this game over again
'round we go round again
Circles.
Circles
Round we go 'round again, circles
Play this game over again
'round we go round again
Circles.