Gavin let out a soft sigh as he was awoken to a ringtone he was all too familiar with.
"Your a cruel device
Your blood, like ice
One look, could kill
My pain, your thrill"
The phone rang as Gavin glanced at the glowing bedside clock to see it was a little past one in the morning.
"I wanna love you but I better not touch
I wanna hold you, but my senses tell me to-"
He interrupted the song by pressing the little green button, pressing the phone to his ear.
"Hello, Michael." Gavin huffed out, pinching the bridge of his nose with frustration.
"Heyyyyyyy Gavvy!" Michael was slurring heavily, as Gavin knew he would be. "Howz my sexy boi doin'?" Michael hiccuped, causing him to break into a fit of giggles. Gavin grumbled, already getting out of his bed and pulling on a pair of pants, holding the phone between his ear and shoulder. "You should... you should come over!" Michael managed to get out, and for a second, Gavin paused.
For a fleeting moment, Gavin thought of what would happen if he said no. What would happen if he hung up, and refused to be Michael's drunken booty call. But, the moment was fleeting for a reason.
"Of course I will." Gavin's voice was defeated, but Michael didn't notice in his drunken stupor. Gavin hated love. He hated being so madly head-over-heels with a man who would make love to him so tenderly, but only when his blood was pumping with alcohol, and act as if nothing had happened the next day. As if it had all been Gavin's imagination. Sometimes, the Brit wished it was.
He grabbed his keys off the hook by his door and crept out of the little house, locking it quietly behind him and hanging up the phone.
"You dope." He spoke aloud to himself, both because of what he was about to do and because he had gone to the wrong side of his car once again, not used to driving at all, let alone in a country where everything was opposite to his own.
When he got to Michael's apartment, he made sure to follow standard procedure. He checked the hallway to see if it was empty before knocking gently on Michael's door. The drunken man peeped out, chocolate eyes glazed over. Despite it all, Gavin couldn't help the butterflies that filled his stomach and the way his lips curved up at the corners.
"Is anyone dere?" Michael whispered rather loudly.
"No, Michael. The coast is clear." Gavin mumbled, his smile disappearing.
"Then get in here, you sexy little thing." Michael smirked, pulling Gavin in by his wrist. The Brit chuckled, forgetting for a moment why he was ever upset in the first place.
Michael made sure to shut the door behind him before pushing Gavin against the wall and kissing him passionately, grinding against him and making Gavin gasp into Michael's lips.
"Fucking Hell, you are beautiful." Michael grunted into Gavin's neck, and he couldn't help the empty feeling that filled him at those words. He knew Michael would never say anything like this when he was sober, but he would keep coming back with false hope and forced smiles anyways.
Gavin woke up the next morning to an empty bed, as he always did. He dressed slowly and shuffled out into Michael's kitchen, where the older man was frying eggs.
"Hey dude, want some breakfast?" Michael flashed him a smile and pointed his spatula at the stove. Gavin returned the sentiment but shook his head. "Oh well. You should probably leave anyways. We have work today, and I'm sure you gotta get ready. Remember to check the hallway first; we don't want anyone to see you leaving." He winked, but Gavin only felt coldness run through him.
"Yeah. I know." Gavin said shortly, hiding his frown as turned towards the door. "I'll see you at work, Michael."
"Later, Gav."
Michael got to work after Gavin and didn't pay him any extra special attention. He joked around as always, screaming at Gavin when he did something stupid in the game or forming their Team Nice Dynamite agreement in Minecraft. None of the men would even suspect a thing; Hell, even Gavin sometimes wondered if it was just his imagination.
"I wanna taste you but your lips are venomous poison
You're poison running through my veins
You're poison I don't wanna break these chains"
Gavin was once again startled awake by his ringtone at around two in the morning, but this time it was different. He wasn't going to answer.
"Your mouth, so hot
Your web, I'm caught
Your skin, so wet
Black lace, on sweat"
No, not this time. Gavin groaned, burying his face in a pillow. He had never not answered Michael before, and his fingers itched to grab the phone.
"I hear you calling and it's needles and pins"
God, why did he pick that ringtone for Michael? Maybe because it fit so well. He sighed, quickly snatching up his phone. He gave the number a long, hard stare before pressing the mute button and going back to his bed, certain he wouldn't be able to sleep again.
Gavin trudged into work with dark rings under his eyes and a to-go cup of hot tea in hand, surprised to find Michael there before him. Michael's head shot up, giving Gavin an odd, wide-eyed look.
"Hey, Gav. You look tired." Michael said loud enough for the other men to hear, catching their attention.
"Ooh didn't get much sleep last night?" Jack smirked, gaining an unamused nod from Gavin.
"How come?" Michael's voice was nonchalant and it bugged Gavin. He wished the dumb Jersey man would care just a little bit.
Gavin opened his mouth but was cut off by Ray. "Gavin's getting DOWN!" He shouted, making Jack and Ryan whoop. Gavin glared at him.
"I was not 'getting down'. I just couldn't sleep, is all." He yawned, accentuating his point. He saw Michael's shoulders relax at this and the older man turned back to his desk.
"Mhm." Ray said, clearly not convinced.
"Alright you guys, let's get to work." Geoff interrupted, stopping the little spat. Gavin gave him a thankful look before taking his seat.
The commentary seemed to be lacking that day, considering Gavin was tired and Michael just didn't seem to care. Gavin wondered if the older man was mad at him for not coming, and he thought it seemed pretty damn unfair. He also noticed Michael kept fidgeting with something in his pocket and squirming around for some reason.
In between filming, something Gavin can only describe as terrible happened.
His phone went off. But not just with his normal bird sound ringtone, but a very specific ringtone he knew by heart.
"I wanna love you but I better not touch
I wanna hold you, but my senses tell me to stop
I wanna kiss you but I want it too much
I wanna taste you but your lips are venomous poison
You're poison running through my veins
You're poison I don't wanna break these chains, poison"
Gavin scrambled for his phone, pressing the red button as quickly as possible. He whipped around to look at Michael, whose face was completely drained of color. He looked like he had been slapped.
"Wow, I didn't know you liked Alice Cooper." Jack turned around, throwing a proud grin at Gavin.
"Why did you..?" Gavin began, trailing off. Michael's jaw was slack and his eyes seemed to be brimming with an emotion Gavin couldn't pinpoint.
"I.. um.. I must've accidentally called you in my pocket." Michael muttered, refusing to make eye contact. "Hey, I'm gonna take a break." He bolted out of his chair, leaving the room in a hurry. Gavin reached out a hand, desperately wanting to follow but having no clue what he would do if he did.
So he didn't. He turned back to his computer, placed his phone on the desk, and slipped on his headphones, returning to work in a numb daze.
Gavin was awoken from a restless sleep, but not in the usual way. Instead, a soft knock on his door disturbed him. He glanced over at the red numbers of his clock and saw it was only a little before nine PM. He must have fallen asleep as soon as he got home from work.
He rubbed his eyes, groggily pulling the door open.
"Am.. Am I really poison?" Gavin heard a voice say before his brain really processed who was standing in front of him.
"Michael?" He felt like he was struck dumb, staring at the older man in confusion. Michael looked stressed, his hair frazzled and shirt crumbled, as if he had been pulling on it. But what caught Gavin most were the tears in Michael's eyes. "What's wrong?" He invited the Jersey boy in and he timidly entered Gavin's miniature house.
"I.. I just.." Michael was clearly struggling with his words, but Gavin was happy to see he was sober. "Gavin I don't..." Michael let out a frustrated groan before pulling Gavin in and pressing their lips together in a surprisingly soft and tender kiss. He broke it after several seconds, breaking into a fast pace around the small living room.
"Michael... you kissed me." Gavin touched his fingers to his lips, confused and shocked. "You never kiss me if you're not..." He trailed off, emotions torn. He wanted to cheer and yell and laugh and cry, but Michael was clearly struggling.
"I don't.. You're not just some late night call to me, you know that, right?" Michael stopped his pacing, giving Gavin a desperate look. The latter stared at him with sad eyes before averting his gaze to the ground.
Michael let out a strangled sob, punching the couch. "It's not right! I can't.. I'm not supposed to be this way! My dad always... I was supposed to.." His sentences were incomplete and choppy and he seemed to be muttering to himself. Gavin was at a loss of what to do, simply choosing to watch instead.
Michael pulled him into another kiss, letting out a satisfied and needy moan as he pushed his tongue into Gavin's mouth. He jerked away again with a roar of frustration.
"You.. you just feel so right, and I lov... I'm not right! This isn't normal... They'll all hate me! I'm a freak, a FREAK!" Michael screamed, tears pouring from his eyes and splashing onto his reddened cheeks. Gavin finally decided to take action, pulling Michael into a tight embrace. The older man struggled for a moment before accepting it, holding Gavin tightly and sobbing into his shoulder.
"I don't want to l-lose you, Gav! I'm just so confused!" He whimpered. Gavin felt his heart break as he tried to calm his lover, stroking his back slowly.
"You shouldn't feel ashamed, Michael." He cooed softly, nuzzling his neck. "There's nothing wrong with how you feel. No matter what anyone says, I promise. I can protect you." Michael giggled at this, and Gavin could imagine him thinking of the gangly Brit fighting off an angry mob to save his lovely damsel in distress.
"I thought.. I thought maybe after a while I could get used to it, but I never thought about how I was affecting you. I was so selfish, and then I called your phone to see if it was working, because I thought maybe that's why you didn't show- I didn't even think that it was because I was hurting you!- and then I heard that and I.. I just realized what a terrible person I've been to the man I love!" fresh tears squeezed out of Michael's puffy eyes as he spoke.
"You.. you love me?" Gavin's eyes widened and he pulled back to face Michael.
"Of course I do, y-you idiot." Michael let out a watery chuckle, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie. "But then I went and hurt you and I just can't.." Gavin held a finger to Michael's mouth, silencing him.
"Shut up, you mong. You think I care about what you did? What's important is NOW. I love you, dummy. And I will help you through anything, you hear me?" Michael nodded weakly, a shy smile on his face. "Good. Now, how would you like to spend the night with me? We can watch a movie and cuddle. We'll take this slow, like we should have in the first place."
"I'd like that." Michael whispered, timidly taking Gavin's hand.
It was gonna be a long process, getting Michael to accept who he was, but Gavin was ready to work it out with him through love and help and support, and he would protect him with all he could.
And as they fell asleep in one another's arms, Gavin didn't think Michael was poison at all; he just needed an antidote.