Bilbo stared at his reflection in the mirror and adjusted his tie. Today was his first day working at his new publishing job at Middle Earth Publications. He nervously sighed as he combed his brown hair for the third time. He was worried about what his boss and employees might think of him. First impressions were everything, and well... He was very short. He pushed his insecurities aside and made his way to the door. Just having exited the door to his apartment, he looked down and groaned. He had forgotten his shoes... Again. "Old habits die hard I guess" he said as he slid he key into the door. Putting on his shoes, he glanced up at a framed photograph of his now deceased parents. Bilbo gave a half smile. "I'll make you proud." He said venturing off to his new job. Bilbo stood amazed at the sight of his workplace. It was a huge building, much bigger than the ones that surrounded it, with windows covering the exterior. The publications logo was in big cursive letters located on the middle of the structure. This is definitely the place." Bilbo said with a shaky breath as he made his way inside and up to the 42nd floor.
"Ummm... Hi I just started name is Bilbo Baggins..." The brown haired man said to the receptionist. "
Oh yes, we've been expecting you, let me show you to your desk." Bilbo took note of his appearance as he followed behind him. He was an older man, and had a long white beard that curled under at the end. "Here you are." The man said placing a hand on the desk. "By the way, my name is Balin if you have any questions." He said turning to walk away. Bilbo smiled. "Thanks." He said sitting down in his chair. The brown haired man looked through he new employee folder that had been placed on his desk. Inside were various forms for him to fill out. He clicked his pen and got to work.
Several minutes later, a large group of people came toward his work area. A vey overweight man spoke first.
"Your the new employee, correct? We're here to introduce ourselves. I'm Bombur. That's Bifur, Bofur, Ori, Nori, Dori, Gloin, Oin, Dwalin, Kili and Fili. We're all very happy that you'll be working with us."
"It's nice to meet all of you." Bilbo said, feeling slightly overwhelmed.
"Am I the only one without facial hair?" Bilbo thought. "Oh wait no, that Kili guy doesn't seem to have any either." He thought, feeling less out of place.
"Bilbo, Mr. Gandalf will see you now." Balin said motioning towards a slightly open door close to the reception collected himself, and made his way into his new employers office.
"Ah, Mr. Baggins. How good to see you" Gandalf said, taking a break from smoking.
"I-It's good to be here sir."
"Now, let's get down to the business at hand. Today you will be assigned your author." He said opening up a folder. "It appears that we only have one author at the moment in need of a editor..." Gandalf said flipping through papers. "You will be assigned to a Mr. Oakenshield. You will be responsible for making sure that his work is done on time, and that you correct any mistakes. Understood?"
"Yes sir." Bilbo said nodding enthusiastically. Gandalf smiled. "Good. Then here you are." He said, handing a packet to the short man containing information regarding his author. "See to it that you visit him today. You may take the rest of the day to do so."
"Alright. And thank you sir." Bilbo said exiting the office.
"So, who'd you get assigned?" Bofur asked quizzically. Bilbo looked down at the packet he was given.
"Umm.. Thorin Oakenshield."The room went quiet.
"Oh." Bofur said looking slightly sympathetic.
"What's wrong?" Bilbo asked.
"Well, it's just that... He's really has to work with." Bofur said rubbing his neck.
"He's been through three publishers the past 6 months. He's also Fili and Kili's uncle." Fili and Kili exchanged nervous glances. "Yeah he can be a real pain in the ass sometimes..." Fili said. "Just, be careful around him, ok? Don't get too close to him." Bilbo gulped. "Well that's reassuring." He thought panicked.
"I guess I'll be going then." Bilbo said making his way to the door.
"Good luck!" Balin yelled.
"Don't fuck up!" Gloin added.
Back on the subway, Bilbo looked down at the papers he was given."No way!" He thought. "He lives in the same apartment complex? That would be really convenient for getting work done faster." Bilbo flipped through the other papers he was given as he made his way back toward his stared at his newly appointed authors door and knocked. Nothing. He knocked again.
"What the fuck do ya want?!" A male voice yelled.
Bilbo was startled. "Um sorry! I'm with Middle Earth Publishing and I'll be helping you with your work from now on."Just then the door opened. However it was not Thorin, but a disheveled women running out of the apartment, high heels in hand. Moments later, a tall man with long dark brown hair answered came to the door in a bathrobe.
"Huh.. Your pretty short arn't ya?"Bilbo blushed in embarrassment.
"I get that a lot."
"Well listen here shorty, I told those people at your company I don't need any help." The taller man said as he began to close the door. "Wait!" Bilbo yelled. "P-please let me help at least for today." He said looking pleadingly at the other. "Please don't let me get fired. It's my first day." He said looking at the floor. The older man sighed.
"Fine come in." He said 's face lit up. "Thank you so much!" He said as he hurried inside. The taller man shut the door, and made his way to the kitchen. He came back with a beer in hand and flopped down on the couch. Bilbo stood uncomfortable against the wall, eyeing the man. "Like I said earlier," the man said cracking open the can of beer,"I don't need any help from you. So I don't care what you have to tell your boss, but I don't want to see any more editors coming my way. I can take care of my work on my own." Bilbo stared at the floor, pained by the rejection he was given. He couldn't return to work without any progress. He'd be fired for sure.
"Please Mr. Oakenshield, I'll help out with whatever I can! I'll stay out of your way, and I'll-"
"Fine."
"Wait, really?" Bilbo asked excitedly.
Mr. Oakenshield set down his beer and rubbed his temples. "Your much more insistent than the others. Frankly, it's giving me a headache. Whatever it'll take to shut you up." He said rising from the couch.
"Thank you sir! Um what should I do to help out now then?" The shorter man asked. Mr. Oakenshield turned to leave to his office. "Clean the kitchen." He said as he shut the door behind him. Bilbo stood there confused. "How is this helping with the manuscript? I mean I'm glad he let me stay but..." He thought as he entered the kitchen."Good God!" Bilbo exclaimed clutching his chest.
The kitchen was a complete disaster area. Coffee mugs scattered around and lying on their sides, empty beer cans littered the floor, pizza boxes were strewn about the countertops, and only Mahal knew what had caused that disgusting stain in the corner of the room. Bilbo shuddered as he rolled up his sleeves and got to work.
Several hours later, Bilbo stood back and admired his work. The room was now spotless. Not one single spec of dust could be found on the smallest of shorter man exited the kitchen and made his way back to the living room. Mr. Oakenshield still was locked up in his office. Bilbo sighed. "I suppose I could clean the rest of the house as well." he said desperate to kill time. He worked his way through the living room to the bathroom and finally to the author's bedroom. Bilbo pushed open the door. Just as he has thought, his room was quite messy as well. He blushed slightly at the sight of a used condom on top of a very messy bed."Why the hell wouldn't he Immediately dispose of this right after?!" He thought embarrassed. Obviously not wanting to come directly in contact with the unholy object before him, Bilbo came up with the idea to use the neighboring sheets as a sort of glove. The short man laid his hand down on the covers."Bloody hell!" He yelled, quickly removing his now sticky hand from the sheets. "Is their nothing in this household that this man hasn't soiled?!" Face red, he rushed to the bathroom to wash his hands.
Coming back to the bedroom with a newfound determination, he continued the difficult task of cleaning the ungodly room. With the rest of the room being done, Bilbo decided to now clean under the bed. Getting down to ground level, Bilbo could make out the spines of various them out due to sheer curiosity, the short mans face was stuck frozen in place. He read the title of the first book aloud. "T-two dicks, one hobbit..." Biblo said stunned.
"So, you found my other works I see." The taller man said, leaning in the doorway.
Bilbo laughed nervously. "Uh, I'm sorry, did you say your work?" "Yeah," he shrugged.
"It's a side job. Is that a problem?"
"Ah... No! It's just that- Well you see... I uhh-" Thorin laughed.
"You're cute when you're nervous." Bilbo's face turned bright red and stared at the floor, forgetting that he still had the book in his hands.
"Anyways, the house looks good. Guess you're not totally useless." Bilbo glanced at his watch and noticed the time. It was almost ten o clock. He shot up from the floor.
"Ah, I'll be going now!" He said as he hurried out the door. As soon as he was outside the apartment, he sighed of relief, and went back to his own apartment.