Ari tugged her fingers through her hair and scowled at the letter on her desk. She wanted to throw it in the fireplace and let the feelings it had brought churning to the surface scorch away with the flames.

"Commander, His Majesty, Alistair Theirin, and a guard contingent of soldiers are here to inspect the Keep." Nathaniel's voice came from beyond the closed door to her study.

"Let them go ahead. Tell His Majesty I'm currently "indisposed" and don't want to be disturbed," she said, pressing a hand to her suddenly nervous stomach, glancing down at that cursed letter on her desk.

"Yes, Commander." Nathaniel sounded concerned, but she wasn't willing to face him yet.

"So, you're finally getting married…" She shoved the letter under some paperwork, her chilly fingers pressed to her brow.

Swiping her hand down her face, Ari looked out the window, her fist curled under her chin as the landscape of Amaranthine blurred and a stone room coalesced in her mind, a room she would forever hate.

"We...we need to talk, Ari," Alistair said, a pained expression twisting his features as he approached her slowly.

"Of course, love, what is wrong?" She straightened from her reclined position on the couch in her quarters and, her smile fading as she watched him wince.

"It's about that, I...I don't think we can be together anymore," He gestured to her mage regalia and staff. "The Kingdom...The Kingdom would never accept a Mage as Queen."

"What?" Ari rose slowly to her feet as their companions crept out of the room to give them privacy. She ignored the looks of pained pity they gave her.

"As King, I'll need to provide an heir...and we're both...we both took the ceremony to become Grey Wardens...we'll most likely never be able to

conceive."

"It wouldn't be from the lack of trying?" She tried to lighten the mood, trying to delay what she knew in her gut that he was trying to say.

"Ari…" Alistair sighed and ran a gauntleted hand through his hair in frustration.

"You're a King, Alistair, no one, and I repeat, no one can tell you what to do."

She tried to keep her voice steady, reasonable, but her heart slowly breaking into tiny pieces.

"It wouldn't be fair. Fair to my wife. If I kept you as my lover." Alistair said, a stubborn set to his jaw, his eyes raw with sadness.

"Your...wife?" The words tasted like ashes on her tongue. "You...you know what? Just go. Leave me alone. I need, I need to be alone." She turned her back on Alistair and stared blankly, her hands bunched into fists at her sides.

"We have to meet with Riordan to find out more about the Archdemon." Alistair entreated, his voice troubled.

Ari wanted to snarl, to hit something. The Archdemon seemed like a good target. The only measure of the pain she shoved down, was the white knuckles that gripped her staff,. Her chin tilted proudly as she stalked past him and spoke from between gritted teeth. "Let's go."

That memory faded and replaced itself with another one, another jab at her heart.

"You want me to what?" His voice was a low growl as he paced back and forth in front of her. The room was growing smaller, dwarfed by his helpless rage.

"You have to sleep with her and impregnate her in a ritual that will save us both." Ari repeated flatly, unwilling to give him any more of her heart to crush.

"No. Just no. I refuse!" A flush coloured his cheeks, the hurt in his eyes made her flinch.

"Then you will condemn us both to death. I can't save us this time, Alistair. This is our only chance. For you to be King."

"I don't WANT to be King," Alistair clenched his fists. "Maker's breath, I don't want that. I never did!"

"You would leave Ferelden in Anora's hands? This isn't about what you want! If we all got what we wanted, it would be simple. But it's never simple!" Anger licked along her spine. She brought her hand down on her desk with a crash that startled them both. She rallied. "Alistair, you need to do this. You need to do the ritual with Morrigan and we both will live out our lives. You as the King that Ferelden needs and I…" She approached his wary figure and placed her hand on his arm. "As a Grey Warden."

He cupped her cheek and looked down into her face, "For you...I will." He leaned forward as though he would kiss her, but he pulled away, her eyes closed as tears silently trailed down her face.

Ari wiped away the light tears that had welled and let out a soft sigh as she rose to her feet. Suddenly, just outside her door she could hear the rumbling of a commotion.

"Move aside," She could hear Alistair's voice and she hesitated.

"The Warden-Commander requested she not be disturbed. I'm sorry, Your Majesty," She closed her eyes at the sound of Nathaniel's voice, firm and cool in the face of the King's ire. Andraste's Tits, this could get complicated.

"I don't care, move aside, Warden." She knew the tone of Alistair's voice. He was losing patience She leaned on her desk, feeling every one of her muscles tense for the unpleasantness to come.

"No." She imagined Nathaniel bodily protecting her doorway. She could see the shadows of his boots. Would he go so far as to draw a weapon? Maker, she hoped not.

Ari let out a sigh as she found her courage and moved to the door. She ran her hand through her hair once more before opening it.

Two pairs of eyes, set in angry faces, looked down at her.

"Nathan, go to the mess hall and , with his permission, take His Majesty's guards with you. I'll be fine, I promise," she said softly as she gazed into

Nathaniel Howe's blue eyes. The concern in them warmed her .

"Commander…" Nathaniel shifted away from the door, taking a step closer, his broad shoulders filling to portal.

"I'll be fine," she said, giving him a faint smile, as her eyes flicked towards Alistair, where he glared at her over Nathaniel's shoulder

"Understood, Commander," he saluted and walked away. With a permissive nod, all but one of Alistair's guards followed, and he stood resolute in the hallway.

Ari moved aside and gestured at the open door into her office. Alistair strode in as his curiosity overtook him. His gaze skimmed over her tiny office. His eyes fell onto the painting behind her. A painting of all of them as comrades-in-arms.

Ari in her emerald mage robes, an elaborate staff peeking from over her shoulder. Leliana in her studded leather armor and a wicked smirk on her face as she fingered her bow. Zevran giving his best 'come hither' smile as he rested one hand around Leliana's waist. Sten scowling darkly as he hefted his greatsword. Morrigan in her wild finery, a secret smile on her face. Shale standing off to the side next to Ari's trusted mabari hound. Wynne and Oghren sharing a drink between them. And finally him, right behind Ari's right shoulder looking down at her with a soft smile on his face. A painting of happier times.

"Your artist was gifted to be able to catch such features." Alistair gave the light-hearted compliment to no avail. She watched him stonily. "He looks to be in love with you, you know." He tilted his head back towards the open door.

"Probably," Ari responded dryly, only the faintest lift of the corner of her mouth betraying a faint smile..

"You slept with him, huh?" Alistair rocked onto the balls of his feet and back, his hands clasped behind him.

"I did, yes," Ari said, simply

"Why?" He moved forward, crowding her a little against the side of the desk.

She didn't move, just stared up at him with a fierce expression.

"I dreamt of the Fade. A Desire Demon wore your face. And I needed to forget. What's it to you, Your Majesty?" Her words soft and sharp as a stiletto dagger.

"I'm sorry I caused you such pain."Alistair reached up to touch her face with his gloved fingertips. She allowed it, almost craved it

"Do...do you love him?"

"Maybe one day." Ari shrugged and glanced aside. "Warden's aren't forbidden to fall in love and marry."

Alistair sighed, and pulled away.

"It doesn't bother him that I am a Mage. Or the fact I had to kill his father. Or maybe he does. It doesn't matter. It's what I needed." She was grateful her voice was steady, icy even. "But I believe congratulations are in order on your upcoming nuptials Your Majesty,'" Ari continued as she fished the invitation from the pile of of papers on her desk. "Lady Cousland is rather beautiful, quite the vixen indeed."

"Stop it." Alistair's head lowered. "Please, just stop."

The two fell silent for a moment's rest.

"So you know then?" Alistair's voice gave a low echo in the empty room.

"Bann Teagan sent the invitation." She carelessly tossed the invitation onto her desk as Alistair turned to stare at her.

"I-I came here to tell you in person. I...I figured I owed you that much." He gave a restless sigh as he backed towards the window of the courtyard below.

She moved quietly to stand next to him. "Yes. You did." Her hands were clasped resolutely behind her back as she stared down below. "No matter
what, we were friends once."

"Is there anyway to fix this? To make this work between us?" His words were tinged with hope, though she could tell they were impulsively given and would be regretted when cooler heads prevailed

"No, Alistair. You were right on that score. It will not be fair to your lady wife. But I will gladly call you my friend if you'll have me as that."

"What if that isn't enough?" He turned to look down at her. Her fingers itched to touch his beloved face.

Ari smiled at him then. She tiptoed slightly as she always had to do, resting a hand lightly on his heavily armed shoulder. She felt his hands come to rest on her hips. Once he would have drawn her close. Looking steadily into his eyes, she leaned forward and kissed him, putting into it the last of her love for him and a farewell of what they once were to one another.

When she finally rocked back on her heels and drew away from him, she knew it was the right thing to do. A movement at her doorway caught her eye and she cursed herself for not closing the door. She knew that powerful figure. Nathaniel. She glanced up at Alistair and he looked discomfited.

"Goodbye, Alistair." She stepped back. He was no longer hers to comfort, to take that pain from his eyes. She hoped Lady Cousland had some gentleness in her soul. "I won't be attending the wedding. I hope you understand."

Alistair nodded dumbly, resting heavily on the windowsill.

"Goodbye, Ari." His voice was bleak.

Ari tilted her chin. "I have much to do. Forgive me." She bowed her head courteously, as one might pay reverence to a king, and left him standing
alone, watching her go with pain in his eye.