The Tasty Pastry

by lanalish

A Stephanie Plum fanfiction. What really happened behind the eclair case? What did Joe really write on the stadium wall? Rated PG13 just to be safe.

Disclaimer: The 'Stephanie Plum' book series was written by Janet Evanovich, published by Penguin Books, Pan Books and Headline Book Publishing. Stephanie Plum is copyrighted to Evanovich, Inc. I do not own and no profit, with the exception of my personal satisfaction, is being made from this fiction. No copyright infringement is intended.

***

'Morelli smiled. "You smelled like a jelly doughnut."

"You jerk! That's what you wrote on the bathroom wall in Mario's Sub Shop. You said I was warm and sweet and good to eat. And then you went on to describe how you did it! It got back to my parents, and I was grounded for three months. You have no scruples!"'

-- Four to Score

Once upon a time a cute teenage girl caught the eye of teenage womanizer Joseph Morelli. Joe belonged to a family of men well known for their drinking, gambling, womanizing ways; it was in his genes (no pun intended).  This girl, who went by the name of Stephanie Plum, had a job at the Tasty Pastry, a bakery situated in the middle of Chambersburg, a suburb in Jersey otherwise known as the Burg. Stephanie and Joe had had an on again off again relationship since their younger years, when they played some rather interesting games of 'Choo Choo'. One day, Joseph marched into the Tasty Pastry, hoping to buy a cannoli, he came out with more, much more. He decided to share his mind-boggling story with the world in the form of a poem, which he wrote on the men's bathroom wall at Mario's Sub Shop and also the Stadium Wall.      

SHORT  VERSION ONE:

Stephanie Plum

Her éclairs are yum

And her buns are truly sublime

Her kisses to me are a tasty treat

So damn good it's a crime

SHORT VERSION TWO:

Stephanie, Stephanie

Bakery queen

If you wear your jeans tight

and play your cards right

Minus her clothes she'll be seen

LONG VERSION:

She used to be mild

She used to be pure

But I know she's wild

And hardly demure

Stephanie, Stephanie

She was untouched and free

Stephanie, Stephanie

Now she's Morelli property

Stephanie Plum

Her éclairs are yum

And her buns are truly sublime

Her kisses to me are a tasty treat

So damn good it's a crime

Stephanie, Stephanie

Bakery queen

If you wear your jeans tight and play your cards right

Minus her clothes she'll be seen

Tasty, luscious, yummy, divine

Stephanie Plum,

Her body's real fine

Many who know her may think she's flirty,

But my cupcake I know,

is blatantly dirty.

***

To view other 'Stadium wall' poems and both of my 'short versions', visit the official Janet Evanovich website www.evanovich.com