Thanks to B for reading this and your wonderful suggestions.
Disclaimer: Only Stephenie Meyer is invited to Thanksgiving dinner with the Cullens.
EPOV
This party was going to be epic.
After four years of watching Bella from afar while she dated that idiot James, I was going to tell her how I felt. Bella was finally single and it was our graduation party. It would be convenient if she blew me off because I would likely never see her again – the colleges we are going to are not exactly close together. It would be quite the predicament if the opposite happened – if she felt the same way as me. I am heading off to a music camp tomorrow and then to Dartmouth in the Fall. Bella will be attending the University of Washington. But I had to try, because the idea of the "what if" swirling through my head for the rest of my life was too much to bear.
My obsession with Bella started four years ago on the first day of freshman year. Biology was the first class of my day. While our teacher was going through the attendance roster, in she walked. She was tiny with dark brown hair with skin so translucent you could almost see her veins underneath. The teacher mumbled something about her being from Phoenix, which seemed highly unlikely considering how pale she was. Of course, I could have just heard wrong because I was too busy staring at her. I watched in awe as she made her way towards the back of the classroom and sat down next to me. She opened up a wrapper and pulled out a strawberry pop tart. This was my breakfast of choice as well although after watching her mouth nibble away on it, I was sure I would never enjoy eating one again as much as I enjoyed watching her eat one. It was at that moment that I decided that I wanted to feed Isabella – Bella for short – all of the meals for the rest of her life.
The teacher's voice broke me out of my haze to ask if anyone wanted to show Bella around the school. Before I could open my mouth, James popped out of his desk and volunteered. They walked out of the class together and that was the end of my fantasy. Instantly, Bella and James were the power couple of Forks High and I was left to pine for her for the next four years.
Present Day
"Yo I gots to get laid tonight."
I was startled out of my daydream as my friend Emmett stomped up the stairs. The sound in the stairwell sounded like an elephant – not that I knew what that sounded like. As much as I loved Emmett, he lacked tact – which is likely the reason he frequently left parties without getting laid – despite his better than average looks.
"How is tonight different than any other night, Emmett? You always wanna get laid." I asked as he came into my room.
"Because, Eddie, tonight is the last time I will see some of these girls," Emmett replies. "If I don't do it tonight, I may never get the chance. Plus, I need to get plenty of experience in for all of the college girls I will be hooking up with next year. They will expect someone who knows what they are doing. I must seize the lay!"
Shaking my head, I thought about how I should have done the same thing four years before. Maybe I would be hitting this party tonight with Bella as opposed to just hoping to get the chance to talk to her one last time. I grabbed my car keys and made sure that the letter I wanted to give to Bella tonight was in my pocket.
"Let's hit it," I said. "We still need to pick up Rosalie before we go to the party."
"Are you serious? That girl is such a total fail. Nice body, but the attitude is such a buzzkill. If ANYONE needs to get laid, it's her."
"Well there you go. Ask Rosalie if she wants to hook up. Problem solved."
"No fucking way man. The last time I even thought she was the tiniest bit cool was like 4th grade. No fucking way."
I shrugged my shoulders and we headed out to the car. I offered to drive tonight because if Bella, by some miracle, decided she was into me, I wanted to be able to leave quickly and not have to find a ride from someone else. Not that my 1985 silver Volvo was going to get Bella to drop her panties, but it was the safest type of car on the road.
A few minutes later, we arrived at Rosalie's house and I honked the horn. She walked out of the house, and immediately saw Emmett in the front seat. She shook her head violently. I hopped out and went over to talk to her.
"You want me to go to this party with that sleazeball?" she asked. "All he is interested in is pussy and the size of his muscles."
"Rosalie, you only have to ride with him for 10 minutes and you can sit far away from him in the car. It won't kill you. And you KNOW I will need your support tonight."
Rosalie sighed and did what best friends do best – went along for the ride.
We finally got to the party a few minutes later and it was in full swing. Cars were parked in the front yard and people hung out of windows. The odds of finding Bella, not to mention a quiet place to talk to her, were not in my favor.
We walked in the front door and were immediately accosted by Alice. Alice was student body president and obsessed with all things high school. I had no idea how she would survive now that we had graduated.
"You guys! I am SO happy to see you! You have to sign my yearbook! I will not let you move from this spot until you do! Go Forks!"
Good god, this girl would give a woodpecker a headache. But she was always nice, so I went ahead and did as I was told and signed her yearbook. Rosalie and Emmett each did as well, even though I know it killed each of them a little bit inside to do so. Both of them were pretty anti-social when it came to school traditions.
We each grabbed a red cup from the kitchen and went in search of the keg. I didn't want to get wasted, but I knew I would need a bit of liquid courage to get up the nerve to talk to Bella. On the other hand, Rosalie and Emmett were each looking to drink as much of the free alcohol as possible. They each grabbed a jello shot on top of a cup of beer. Once we had our drinks, Emmett immediately went off in search of a girl (or girls) that would give it up to him. Rosalie and I went in search of a place to sit down.
"So you are finally going to tell your feelings to Bella, huh. Way to wait until the last possible day to do so," Rosalie teased.
"I told you my reasons. This way, if it doesn't work out, I can make a fresh start at Dartmouth. If it DOES work out, well…we can figure out something. I just know we are meant to be. It is fate. She has been my life for four years and is still my life today."
"Whoa. Calm down on the proclamations. We are 18, you have no way of knowing that she is your life. You have no life."
Rosalie did have a point. I pretty much went through the motions in high school, never really putting forth more effort than was required, except when it came to my classes. I got straight A's through all four years and now was heading off to a prestigious east coast school to study music. But I never really lived. Until now.
I could smell Bella before I could see her. Her scent was one of a kind and so, so sweet, like strawberries, but better. It was almost overwhelming the way the smell wafted around her. It just made me want to taste her even more.
When she finally came into view, she was looking breathtaking – as usual. It was like she knew what to wear to send me into frenzy and tonight was no different. Bella had on a deep blue (and very formfitting) tank along with a lighter blue mini-skirt. Blue on Bella was like seeing the ocean for the first time – it is just magical. I couldn't take my eyes away from her.
"Dude. You need to dial it down a notch before she calls the cops. You look at her like she is something to eat."
Rosalie sure knew how to ruin a moment, but she was probably right. I didn't want Bella to notice the way I was looking at her and hide from me for the rest of the night. I needed to calm the fuck down.
All at once, the whispers around me started. I can't believe she could show her face tonight after the way she was dumped…Oooh, I wonder what will happen if her and James see each other…That bitch had it coming, she always acted like she was better than everyone else…She will never be anything now that James left her ass.
I really hoped that Bella could not hear what everyone was saying and if she did, that she was ignoring it. She deserved so much better than James. Everyone knows that the Greek gods of the high school athletic world become quite forgettable 10 years later. Unfortunately no one actually realizes this until the 10 years have passed.
"So? When are you going to go talk to her?" Rosalie asked, "You know that every guy will be on her in the next few minutes."
"Let me finish this beer and then I will go. Liquid courage, you know?"
I took off in the direction of Bella, gulping down what was left of my beer. I made sure for the hundredth time that night that my letter to her was still in my pocket. As I was on my way over to her, a kid named Jasper blocked my path.
"Edward, my man! Come over here and sit down with us. We need to reminisce, man; these are the last few hours of the greatest time of our lives!"
What the fuck. Jasper and I had a couple of classes together freshman year. What did we have to reminisce about? How we dissected that frog? Seriously.
"Ummm…can we do this later? I really have someone I need to talk to."
"Whatevs man, just don't forget about me! Hey, isn't that a song from one of those high school movies? Dude, our lives are over after this. Over!"
Man, he was fucked up. Or something. Who ever knew with Jasper, he was always a little too laid-back, if you know what I mean. He and Alice would be perfect for each other . . . maybe balance each other out a little.
Back to the task at hand. Bella was straight in front of me, sitting on a couch by herself. She looked like she would rather be anywhere else, which would be fine with me, if she liked what she had to read in my letter. I would have been totally fine with jumping in my Volvo and going to sit somewhere and talk.
Before I could get to her though, Jasper ran up to me again and proceeded to tell every embarrassing story involving me that he could think of. God, if Bella was listening at all, she was never going to give me a chance. No one wants to end up with the guy who threw up on the ferris wheel. Once Jasper finally took a breath, I told him to fuck off and started taking off towards the couch that Bella had been on, only to find she was nowhere to be found. God dammit, I thought. Where was she at now?
RPOV
Tired of dealing with drunken idiots, I decided to hide out in the bathroom for awhile. As I sat on the edge of the tub contemplating whether or not I should stay, in fell Emmett.
"What the hell Emmett, haven't you ever heard of knocking? Get the fuck out!"
"Damn, Rosalie that is why you are single. You need to dial down the 'tude."
"Just get out okay? I am trying to get away from the idiots out there, present company included."
"Fuck. Fine. Stay in her and spend time wondering why you are alone and why you always will be alone."
Emmett went to the door and as he turned the knob, it broke off in his hand.
"Fuck," he said, "Now what are we supposed to do? I'm trying to get laid tonight!"
"Emmett, I don't think a broken door was what was going to keep that from happening tonight."
"See? You are such a bitch! You used to be so much fun back in elementary school."
"Me? YOU are the one who forgot I existed once we hit the 5th grade. I used to spend every afternoon and every summer at your house. Then, all of the sudden, you forgot who I was. You were too cool for me. "
"Baby, I couldn't have the other girls thinking I was already taken! How would it look for my prospective ladies if I was hanging out with you all of the time?"
"Ugh you are such a pig! And don't call me baby ever again, unless you want your private parts to look like those of a baby again."
That got Emmett to shut up. All you had to do was mention hurting his ability to get with a lady and he would immediately surrender. He slid down the door and sat on the floor muttering obscenities under his breath. I sighed and sat down in the tub. I wonder how long it will take for someone to find us.
EPOV
I walked outside onto the deck that came off of the second floor of the house. I looked down to the yard below and found Bella. She was storming across the back yard. It looked like she might be leaving the party, so without even thinking I yelled out.
"Bella! I love you!"
Bella looked up at me with shock in her eyes. Likely the same look I was currently sporting as I could not believe I just said what I had said. I took off down the stairs of the deck towards her.
"Listen, Bella, I know this isn't the best time to tell you that, but ever since you sat down next to me in Bio class freshman year and pulled out that strawberry pop-tart, I knew we were meant to be. You are my one perfect person in this world. If we could just go somewhere and talk…"
By this point I was standing right in front of her, waiting for her response.
"Are you kidding me? You think you can just say those words and I will jump on top of you and just do you? God, I just became single like 10 minutes ago. All of you guys are the same."
With that, she took off leaving me with my mouth gaping open and 100 of my fellow classmates laughing their asses off at me.
RPOV
As I sat in the tub wondering where I went wrong in my life to end up in this situation, I started thinking back about the good times Emmett and I had had when we were younger.
"Why did you stop hanging with me? What was it about me that suddenly wasn't cool enough?"
"Are you kidding me, Rosalie? We haven't talked in like 8 years. What does it even matter? Besides, you are the one that stopped talking to me."
"So not true. One day you just decided you were going to try and sit at the popular table at lunch and there was no room for me in your life."
By this point, I had tears in my eyes. Emmett looked at my face and sighed. He got up and walked over to me and sat on the edge of the tub.
"Look, Rosalie, I am sorry. We just moved apart. It happens."
"Yeah, but I never thought it would happen to us."
EPOV
So that was that. Fate didn't exist, at least for me and Bella. We were not meant to spend our lives together. I went back into the house and pulled the letter I had written and rewritten a thousand times out of my pocket and threw it in the trash.
BPOV
What the hell was wrong with the guys at this school? After being hit on by three different guys in a row, up comes this total ass proclaiming his love to me. Thinking that all he had to do was say the right words and I would jump into bed with him. I was so ready to get out of this small ass town.
I decided that I needed to forget everyone around me at the party, so I walked into the kitchen to get a beer, thinking that it might be a great time to start forgetting Forks, as well. As I was looking around for a clean glass, my eyes glanced over an envelope sitting on top of the trash. An envelope that had my name on it. I dug it out, blew off whatever germs were sitting on it and opened it up. And then read the most beautifully sweet love letter.
Bella,
We only get to live these lives once and I cannot imagine going through it without your hand in mine. Ever ince the first time you stepped into my view freshman year, then and each time since my heart has stopped and I am unable to breathe. Colors become brighter and the birds sing louder. The air in a room without you is unhealthy. I cannot exist without you - I am forgetful of everything but seeing you again - my life seems to stop there - I see no further. You have absorbed me. I would die a thousand deaths before I would let harm come to you once. Since I met you, I have thought of no one else.
I hope you will give me the chance to show you how much I love you. I never knew what the worldmeant before you and the word would cease to exist in my vocabulary without you.
Edward Cullen
Holy shit. That man, whoever he was, knew how to write a letter. Who was Edward though? He obviously went to the same school as me, but past that I was clueless.
I walked up to the first person I saw and asked them who Edward was.
"Are you serious? He only sat next to you in Biology class freshman year. Leave it to you Bella, to not realize there were people in the world other than you. Conceited bitch."
Ouch, that hurt. I could see her point, but it still pained me to hear the words out loud.
"Bella! Oh my god! Sign my yearbook! I would just DIE if the famous Bella Swan's signature was not in my yearbook for eternity!" Alice shrieked suddenly from behind me.
Where the hell did Alice come from? That girl appeared out of nowhere. Determined to rid myself of my "conceited bitch" rep though, I took the yearbook from her and signed. And then got an idea. I pulled the yearbook out of Alice's hands and flipped to the senior picture pages looking for a picture of Edward Cullen.
Shit. The random guy who I just told off outside was Edward. Fuck fuck fuck.
I dropped the yearbook and ran off to look for him.
EPOV
Where the hell was Rosalie? I was so ready to leave this party and get out of this town once and for all. Ready to start a new life at Dartmouth and attempt to start to forget about Bella. Like that was ever going to be possible. After looking for her for about 20 minutes, I gave up and went out to my Volvo and headed home.
BPOV
After asking everyone I came across if they knew where Edward was, I realized it was close to my curfew. Sighing, I headed out to my red truck and headed home.
RPOV
Emmett brushed my hair out of my face and wiped my tears off of my face. I could see that he was apologizing to me even though he wasn't saying a word. Feeling quite vulnerable, as there is nothing like a guy brushing your hair off of your face, I said "fuck it" to myself and reached over to Emmett and pulled his face into mine and kissed him for what felt like a lifetime. Finally, we came up for air and sat there for a minute just staring at each other.
"Whoa. That was some kiss."
"Yeah. Ummm…I don't know what got into me. Sorry about that."
"Don't be sorry. Don't ever be sorry for a kiss like that."
With that, Emmett reached over and started kissing me wildly. As we kissed, our clothes started to come off. Before I knew it, Emmett was in the tub on top of me and we were both naked.
"Are we really going to do this?"
I asked Emmett this question, hoping his answer would be yes. I had no idea what the hell had gotten into me, but it felt right.
"Two words. Fuck yeah."
The next day
EPOV
"You are fucking with me right? You and Emmett?"
Rosalie and I sat on the hood of my car in front of the local burger joint. After the news Rosalie just gave me, I was quite surprised I was still sitting upright.
"Yeah. I am not sure what happened. I can't even remember how it started now. Maybe it was that fate you are always going on about."
"Fate is shit."
"Ouch. I take it the conversation with Bella did not go well."
"That would be correct. Bella and I were obviously not meant to be. It's whatever."
"Edward, you can't give up on love. Maybe Bella wasn't the girl for you. Maybe she will come to her senses and realize what she is missing out on. Either way, you are going to end up happy, I just know it."
"I appreciate the sentiment, Rosalie, but right now, I am just not in the mood to hear it. Either way, I need to get out of here."
"I can understand that. Well, call me when you get to Boston. I love you Edward."
"Love you too. Good luck to you and Emmett."
"Fuck you."
Laughing, I gave Rosalie and hug and got into my car and headed off towards the airport.
A couple of hours later, I was just getting ready to get in the security line when I heard a voice behind me.
"I think you dropped this."
Shocked, I turned around and there stood Bella holding my letter.
"That's my letter."
"I thought it was my letter. It was beautiful, you know?"
"Umm…thanks. How did you find it?"
"That doesn't matter now. Where are you going?"
"I am heading to Boston for the summer for a music camp."
"You have to leave right now? I was hoping we could grab a coffee and talk. Or maybe this just isn't meant to be, our timing is obviously off. I don't want to make you miss your flight."
Bella looked at me with such sorrow in her eyes that whatever fee would be charged to me for changing my flight would not matter. I couldn't leave her yet. I dropped my bags and pulled Bella into me. Cupping her tiny face in my hands, I reached in and kissed her. Kissed her with reckless abandon. Kissed her with all of the four years of love I had had for her pouring out of me all at once. I never wanted to be apart from this girl again. We were destined to be intertwined like this for the rest of our lives. No one would be able to tear us apart. Cut one of us and you would cut us both. Finally realizing that I had not taken a breath in about 5 minutes and I would hate for our lives together to be over before they even started, I broke apart from Bella and smiled.
"I would love to have coffee with you. And dinner tonight. And lunch tomorrow. Let me just change my flight."