Do I Look Like A Puma To You? Chapter 1: Chpt 1: Meet Up, a transformers/beast wars fanfic

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers.

Author's Notes: Okay, seriously, this time I'm going to try to keep A/N to a minimum on most chapters. For this first one, I just wanted to bring a few things up so you know what you're reading. n_n

This is a Red vs. Blue/Transformers crossover fic, but I'm not going to use a magical vortex or some other plot device to do it. Rather, the RvB guys and gals are Cybertronians here and a lot of stuff from RvB will be converted to Transformers 'format.' I thought this would be a fun thing to do since I think a lot of nods to the RvB series can be done in this way, no problem, and the more I start fleshing out each character's Transformer-self, the more I like it.

The main inspiration for the idea? Like seriously, what inspired me to cross these? I was watching RvB and had it on my mind when I saw a baby pink car and thought, "Lolz, Donut as a robot! :D"

Thus, this story was born.

Also, if they're TFs, I can use TF curses instead of human ones, which works out great for me because I really don't like using human curse words. I think them and their use in RvB and similar uses is hilarious but I don't say or write them. I know. What an awfully Good Girl thing to be hung up on, but I can't really help it. If you ever find a curse in my stories, I can guarantee you I had someone else write it. *sheepish*

We'll also see canon Transformers later, but because the awesomeness (despite my serious problems with the movies…and Bay…) and seriousness of the canon-TFs might counteract the boisterous intensity of the RvB characters, I'm mostly leaving them out for now and opting for intro-ing a couple human characters at a time.

Important Paragraph here = It'll help you understand the nods to RvB events a lot if you're familiar with RvB. Otherwise, I guess this is a fic about a bunch of rather noisy, foul mouthed, nutsy Autobot soldiers who crash to Earth and the human characters who have to deal with them before they're shipped off to Diego Garcia. :3

Lastly, I'm still working on my other fics, just fyi. After doing like 4 updates in one week a few months ago I came to a stand still and need to get writing again so… yet another reason this story was born.

Well, I think that's all for now. I'd appreciate feedback a lot, especially on IC-ness. n_n

Enjoy!

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…connecting…

...connecting…

Mikaela Banes watched the screen apprehensively, waiting for her long term boyfriend to answer her vidchat, but she knew it was in vain by now. If he was there, he picked up before the signal even got through. If he was off partying or doing nerdy stuff, he may as well not exist. Mikaela sighed and stopped the incomplete feed, shutting down the computer and gathering up her bags. She headed outside into the cool evening air, letting her hair down while her blue jeans brushed the moist ground. Spring was coming and the weather was fair during the day, but it was still cool enough for a jacket as soon as twilight, so she sported her favorite brown down jacket and buttoned it up tight.

The motorcycle shop she and her dad worked for now wasn't very far from Sam's house, where she felt welcome and comfortable, even though his parents were a little nuts. After waving goodbye to the boss and considering her own bike for a minute, she decided she'd walk and started her trek towards the residential neighborhoods that slept quietly only about a half mile away.

It was just after eight and the sun was going down, the dying light casting long shadows and black shapes across the streets. She didn't mind, though, and walked at an easy pace, taking care to keep an eye out for danger but otherwise just content to space out a bit. Judy wouldn't expect her til late, since she usually got caught up in painting or repairing the bikes at the shop and ended up getting off work at about eleven. The older woman had even made midnight dinner for her a couple times and ate with her even though she was obviously very tired. Mikaela smiled nostalgically and adjusted her purse.

She was just turning onto Sam's street when a car slowed and pulled onto the street as well. Instead of speeding up and passing her it slowed further and Mikaela's heart thumped into her throat, fear shooting up her spine and her kidneys already shooting adrenaline into her bloodstream. It could be a Decepticon…or it could be robbers…or kidnappers…

If there was anything that pumped Mikaela for a fight, however, it was fear and as the car came closer, her eyebrows knit together and she stopped walking. Like hell she was being kidnapped or killed on her boyfriend's street, barely a quarter mile from his house. She steeled her nerves and squared her shoulders as the headlights inched forward to level with her and she spun to face the car, expecting anything. A million plans started flowing through her brain, most of them involving fighting except one. If the thing started to transform, she'd jump the wall behind her and –

"Mikaela?" came an accented voice as the passenger window rolled down.

Her thoughts stalled. That voice sounded familiar.

The driver reached up and switched on the car's reading lights to reveal the smiling face of one Maggie Madsen. "It is you! I knew I recognized you."

"Oh my God…Hi," Mikaela replied in a gust of air she hadn't realized she'd been holding. She looked torn between 'annoyed' and 'sheepish' - annoyed because this woman should know better than to scare people at night with creeping cars and sheepish because she'd been ready to channel Bruce Lee a moment before. "You scared me!" she added, not quite getting a whole smile on her face as her heart calmed.

Maggie's smile faltered and then her eyes widened in horror, "Oh my goodness, I'm sorry! Of all things to forget – you must have thought I was one of Them." At Mikaela's sheepish nod, Maggie smacked her palm to her face, embarrassed. "I'm so sorry, Mikaela. That's so not what I meant to do."

The younger woman shook her head, her panic dying as fast as it had risen. She was just really thankful right now it wasn't some awful pointy robot… or kidnappers or muggers. She could not forget human criminals, she reminded herself repeatedly these days. Her voice quickly adopted a pleased tone, "It's alright, no problem. It's great to see you; it's been a while. How are things going?"

Maggie's smile slid back into place as she answered pleasantly, "Yeah! It's been like a year, hasn't it? The Christmas party. Anyway, things are going pretty well. I've gotten myself fired a few times, but it's not my fault people don't listen to me when I say they're wrong." Mikaela looked concerned and the blonde waved a hand. "Don't worry, I've been rehired every time so far. Tonight, I was just passing through town here since I had business with a scientist who works in his own private lab, not too far north from Tranquility. I thought I saw you and wanted to say hi."

Banes smiled, "That sounds great. I'm working with my dad at a bike shop these days. It's pretty cool. Probably the best part is working on Custom bikes; those usually turn out really good. Otherwise, I'm taking some online college courses while Sam's schooling on the East Coast. We study together sometimes and I stay at his house a lot these days cuz his folks are closer to my work than my house, so…"

"Aww, that sounds lovely. His parents are such charmers. A little off the deep end, but not much different from some people I work with." She remembered the Christmas party clearly, particularly when Judy, Ronald, and her coworker Glenn had flipped out over a massive yellow bulldozer that had passed by on the street just outside the family's rented party villa. They'd invited everyone and their families (and the Autobots) to celebrate the time of giving in the privacy of a large cottage down south where it was still warm and everyone had been chatting happily on the porch. The Autobots were in robot mode, but had transformed as the Caterpillar rumbled up the dirt road on its way to a work site. Sam's mother had gone crazy, grabbing a bat and deciding she needed something better, Ron had run inside after her yelling that Lennox already had a shotgun and reminding her of the Autobots presence downstairs, Sam went in to try to calm everyone down but got dragged in too, and poor Glenn, who'd eaten enough sweets to account for everyone, had flown into a panic over the noise and the word 'Decepticons' and joined the fight with some more screaming. Good times.

Mikaela laughed, "Yeah…"

The conversation tapered off after that. One woman was in her car, leaning precariously towards the passenger seat and craning her neck to meet Mikaela's eyes. The other female wasn't sure how to end the conversation or what to suggest to continue it. It was nice for them to meet up again, after everything that had happened just a few months ago in Egypt, but it was kind of awkward to continue a conversation on a street corner at nine at night with one person in an obviously uncomfortable position.

Luckily, Maggie broke the silence with a suggestion that made Mikaela's sweet tooth tingle.

"Want to get some ice cream?"

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Chapter 2 to be loaded shortly. :3