Finn Hudson's cheeks was as red as Rachel's as she stared at him for a full minute. "S-sorry," he stumbled out again. Rachel hummed something quickly, pecking his lips.

"I have to go Finn," she said, a smile playing at her lips. "I love you."

"L-love you too," he stumbled, wondering why she hadn't said anything. He'd been late with the mailman - Quinn would've chewed him out. He really wasn't used to this - the staring at his penis, the leaving. He wondered where she was going - he hoped not downstairs to Kurt's room to rag on him.

That was sort of a pro of living with Kurt, Finn supposed. The glee kids were in and out of their house more often than Finn was. However, Rachel was the only one that ever wandered upstairs to his room during Kurt's slumber parties. It was three am, his mind hazily reminded him, just because you humiliated yourself in front of your girlfriend doesn't mean you don't have to sleep.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next morning, Finn woke up with the weight of his girlfriend on him. The weight of his tiny girlfriend... in books. His eyes flew open and he groaned, holding his stomach. "Oh!" Rachel squealed, "I'm so sorry! I was trying to wake you up with a kiss, but then the books got in the way an-"

"It's fine," Finn grumbled, rubbing his eyes. He looked over to see it was only eleven. "Night, love you." He buried himself (blissfully) in his pillow once more.

"Finn," Rachel's voice sang. He groaned. She was forcing mornings on him. "Would you like to know why I have large books?"

"Not really," he said, sitting up. He looked down at his pajama pants - not the ones he'd urm, mailmanned in - awkwardly, remembering last night.

"I'm going to help you. With your-" her voice lowered to a whisper, "problem."

"I'm not a drug addict or anything," he blinked, "how do you help with urm... that?" Rachel gestured to the books he'd pushed off of him. He read the titles.

"Sex for Dummies. The Beginner's Guide to Blowing Your W- What is this?"

"Well," Rachel sing-songed, "I've been studying all morning. I started off by watching, let's see," she pulled a notebook out of her extensive stack of stuff, "School of Sex: Big Assed Hotties. It was an educational experience, although I must say that the acting was anything but realistic. If I was going to have sex with, say Mr. Schue for example, why wouldn't I-"

"Rachel!" Finn said, surprised. Why did she want to have sex with their teacher?

"Anyway, Finn, my point is, I'm going to help you. First, I need to know how often you masturbate, because Beginner's Guide to Blowing Your Wad says that a high frequency can be extremely useful in training the body to prolong orgasm. Next-"

A lot. Mostly to you. "Rachel, I'm not telling you that!"

"Finn, I'm just trying to lend a hand! So, I need you to masturbate at least twice a day, okay?" His mind was swirling with ways she could lend a hand, especially with the way she was positioned - she was sitting cross legged on the bed with him. Her skirt was just short enough that he could catch a glimpse of her panties - they were black. He found himself getting hard.

"Rachel-" he was stumbling with words again, feeling awkward, "sex isn't homework. And, um... isn't the best way to learn to practice?"

"Practice does make perfect," she commented, her voice completely serious.

XXXXXXX

Rachel leaped at the sight of a janitor's closet. "Fun!" she squealed, dragging him in. She pushed him against the wall, sinking to her knees. "Mmmm," she moaned as she unbuttoned his pants. Finn's groan was much louder.

She pulled his boxers down to his knees, letting her tongue run down his cock. She looked up at him from under thick lashes, her tongue playing with the tip. He buried his hands in her hair, fighting the mailman. Still, as soon as her lips enveloped his cock, white cum shot down her throat. "Fuck," he groaned when she swallowed.

XXXXXXX

Rachel had dropped all guise of sleeping in Kurt's room by now. She climbed the stairs up to where he eagerly awaited her. She pulled off her underwear as soon as she entered the room, climbing onto the bed. Finn pulled off his boxers, releasing his rock hard member, already covered in a condom. His fingers circled her clit for a moment.

"So wet," he groaned. She sunk down on him, moaning and counting. One. Two. Three. Four. F- His thrusts were already becoming erratic, his fingers pressing into her hips fiercely. "Fuck, fuck, mailman," he mumbled, but he came anyway.

XXXXXXXXX

Finn and Rachel stayed after glee club, her devilish grin emerging as soon as Mr. Schuester and Brad left. He bent her over the piano, flipping up her short little skirt. "You sang really well today," Rachel breathed as he stroked her through her underwear for a moment.

"Thanks," he grunted, pulling his own pants down, then hers. "I liked your Streisand." He let his hand run down her ass for a moment and rolled a condom on. Slowly, ever so slowly, he pushed into her. One, Rachel counted, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven.. Finn was groaning now, close to cuming.

"Please," Rachel moaned. Finn couldn't take that breathy sound and exploded.

XXXXXXXXX

Rachel felt herself being pulled into the janitor's closet. Finn fumbled with the clasp on her slacks as he knelt down. Stupefied, she undid them for him. He groaned when he found her bare beneath. His fingers danced down her folds.

"Do you like this?" he asked hesitantly, parting them to make room for his tongue.

"Yes!" Rachel gasped, and his tongue circled her clit. "More!" He pushed a finger inside her hole, nipping at her clit. She screamed, and he cursed.

"Be quiet Rachel!" he hissed.

"Sorry," she panted as he pulled his finger out. He replaced it with his tongue, feeling her spasm. He held her up by the back of the knees when she started to collapse, circling her nub with his fingernail.

"Finn!" her cry for him was disjointed, and he wondered if he was finally - finally! - making her cum. "Oh, Finn, please!"

"Please what?" he asked hoarsely. He had no idea why he'd asked her.

"Stop teasing!" He nodded, humming into her pussy and bringing his lips up to suck on her clit - hard. Two of his fingers invaded her tight hole. The walls were fluttering around his fingers - was this how it felt when a girl came? She was so wet and warm and she was moaning his name.

"Fuck, Rach!" he groaned, cumming in his pants.

XXXXXXXXXX

Rachel counted to twenty as he fucked her against the wall of her bedroom. Then twenty one, and then she lost count because he was rubbing her clit in just the right way and oh!

Six Weeks Later:

Rachel walked down from Finn's room in a daze, her hair a mess, reindeer sweater on inside out. "Hi guys," she said when she walked into Kurt's room, pulling her hair out of her eyes. "Sorry I left. What's up?"

Santana, Kurt, Quinn, and Mercedes stared at her. "What's up with you?" Quinn asked cautiously. "You've been up there for four hours. And, um. You're kind of loud."

Rachel at least had the decency to blush. "I'm sorry about hat," she said again.

"Sorry? Damn, girl, I wouldn't be sorry if I was hitting that!" Mercedes said, exchanging a disbelieving look with Kurt.

"He was.. um.. he was never like that," Quinn lowered her voice, "was someone else up there too?"

"No!" Rachel said, her post coital haze disrupted, "no, it was just Finn!"

"How?" Kurt breathed.

"Well, I uh- I helped him with his problem.."

"No shit, Sherlock," Santana hissed. She was pissed. Berry got that and she got an awkward, fumbling little kid.

"And, um.."

"Just spill," Quinn said, her bitch facade restored.

"Oh my god!" Rachel squealed, "I blacked out! I'm so exhausted, I have no idea how he improved so much!"

"No kidding," Mercedes said.

"He pays so much attention to detail! Like there's this one spo-"

"Too much information," Kurt said. They all agreed.

The Next Afternoon

"Hi Puck," Quinn hummed, dancing up to him. "Take this!" He looked down, stupefied, at the copy of "A Beginner's Guide To Blowing Your Wad," on his lap.

"Bu-"