Robot Party

Synopsis: While all our main villains are off preparing a grand scheme to thwart the Doctor, our cybernetic villains are left alone to their own devices.

~*~ CAST ~*~

Davros:

Dalek Sev:

Dalek Caan:

Dalek Thay:

Dalek Jast:

Cyberman #1:

Cyberman #2:

Cyberman #3:

Cyberman #4:

Clockwork Robot:

K9:

Bartender Bot (Bart):

DJ Bot (Deej):

Waitress Bot.:

Scene 1-While Master's Away...

Davros: Daleks ?

Daleks: Yes, Davros ? We hear and obey.

Caan: (mutter) As usual. Typical us.

Davros: Take care of the fort while I am away. I am concocting a plan to lure the Doctor here and destroy everyone he has ever known or cared for. Then, painfully, slowly, I will destroy him once he has lost the will to exist ! (laughs maniacly)

Jast: Oh, Master, that plan is devious and cruel, and ingenious !

Dalek: We concur. It is your most incideous yet.

Davros: I will return in the wee hours of the morning. If you go out, lock and arm the security system. I will not have theives breaking in and stealing my blueprints again. That blasted Saxon has a tendency to bypass my security...

Thay: Not with the myriads of traps set in order with the updated system.

Davros: Your ingenuity never fails to impress me, my precious Daleks. Now I must be off. Today is the beginning of the end for the Doctor ! (maniacle laughter as he leaves) Laugh with me Daleks !

(They all laugh and stop when he leaves)

Jast: Is it me or has Davros become a bit like Dr. Evil ?

Sev: No, the resemblance is quite uncanny. But we know our Davros is by far the more sinister and intimdating.

Caan: He'll never exterminate the Doctor though. He may try. I mean, look at Harold Saxon...

Thay: No...don't go boasting about your crush on him...

Caan: I do not have a crush on Harold Saxon !

(They almost get into a fight)

Sev: We don't have time for this. I'd like to go to the bar. Try some alcohol for a change.

Jast: Look at you, Dalek Sev. Loosening up !

Caan: (muttering with a scoff) About time.

Sev: (put off) I heard that Dalek Caan !

Thay: We're not getting anywhere just idling by here...come on. We deserve a reward. To the club !

Daleks: THE CLUB !

(scene fade)

Scene 2-The Screwdriver

Jast: (rolling up the ramp into the bar) Whoever built this construct certainly had our wellfare in mind.

Thay: About time too. Stinks that unlike Imperial Dalek we can't hover and just avoid taking stairs or ramps like this one.

Sev: You'd think that'd be in Davros' budget to upgrade us...

Caan: Hey, check it out, Daleks ! Look at the crowd. We've got Cybermen, a Clockwork Robot...

Jast: A vertitable cast of A.I..

Caan: Aye.

Jast: No, Dalek Caan. (slowly) A.I..

Caan: (audible groan)

Thay: I think I should try the signature drink. Bot-tender...

Bart: You rang ?

Thay: Screwdriver, on the rocks. Shaken. Not stirred.

Sev: I'll take the Defragger.

(The Robots stop whatever they are doing)

Bart: Hardly any of us have tried that. They say if you drink it, your memory is lost for a day. You'll wake up and have a major hangover.

Jast: Like that one totally zany film about the drunkard bipeds ! That one gave me a right good laugh.

Sev: I'll try it. They say I need to loosen up. You only process once ?

Am I right, robots ?

(Robots agree amongst themselves)

Bart: Hair of the homosapien, brave Warrior.

Sev: (drinks it, goes absolutely nutty and turns super suave) Why, hello there. Look what rolled in. Better check my data processor, because her skematics are off the charts.

Dotty: What'll ya have...

Sev: I'll have you...to go, my dear. Yeah, baby, yeah !

Dotty: You are quite cute, and by the looks of it, you've probably got the moves to prove that.

Sev: How's about we see whether or not you're right angel bot ?

Dotty: (girlish titter)

Caan: Oh, for the love of Darvos. First he lectures us about 'mingling' but now he's tripping the light fantastic with that watiress bot.

Jast: Dalek Caan, never apply logic to any situations you process through that eyestalk. How many times do I have to remind you ?

Caan: Processing. Over 1 million, one thousand, one hundred ten times, Dalek Jast.

Jast: I think we all need a break and we need to let our circuits down, so to speak.

Thay: I concur with that. Hey, Mr. Dee Jay.

DJ: Sup, Dalek brothers ? What cha want me to play ?

Thay: Summer Lovin', you know the one.

DJ: SHA-BAM ! (plays the record)

Scene 3-Party, Interrupted

(All our robots are dancing until K9 meanders in and the Daleks see him first)

Sev: Awwww, look at the cute doggie ! Who's a good boy ! Who's a GOOD boy ?

K9: (annoyed) I am not a boy. I am a containment of quantum consciousness.

DJ: Who invited the party crasher ?

Thay: Extermin (hiccup) ate !

Other Daleks (except for Sev who wants to pet him): Exterminate !

Sev: He's just a lost puppy ! Can we keep him ?

Jast: Hecks no, Dalek Sev. Do you not realize that is the mate of our most unfortunate advesary ?

Sev: He's cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute though ! Look at him ?

K9: (non-plussed) This unit is not amused by being patronized or pandered to.

Clockwork Robot: You should exercise caution then, cyborg. Why did you come here ? Did you not read the sign on the building ? Evil AI only.

K9: (embarassed) Must've missed that...I was only coming in for comeradery...

Cybermen: Delete, delete, de-lete !

K9: Shut it, tin cans.

Bart: Why did you come exactly, advisary ?

K9: To boogie. DJ ?

DJ: Sup, dog ?

K9: (a bit annoyed, clears throat) A little music, Earth Wind and Fire if you would.

(Groove Tonight plays in the background and K9 dances to the beat.)

K9: (singing along with it)

Cyberman #1: I don't quite understand it...but it is pretty groovy !

Cyberman #3: Enough to shake your booty to !

Cyberman #5: Whoop whoop !

Bart: I swear, the Defragger is gonna be the death of me...Oh well, live and let jive, I suppose.

(They all dance until the song comes to an end)

(Scene end. Cast bow.)