The Holy Scroll of Jell is a collaboration between various authors here on www . fanfiction . net.

This work was inspired by a person who goes under the name believer in christ, and we wish to thank him for bringing humor into or lives! So, thank you, believer in christ!

DISCLAIMER: CHAPTER 1 "Bereishit" WAS WRITTEN BY SonnyGoten.

The Holy Scroll of Jell

CHAPTER 1: Bereishit

(1) In the beginning there was Chaos and nonsensicalness.

(2) And Chaos was without form, and void; and it was upon the face of nothingness. And nonsensicalness moved upon this face, residing in the highest order underneath the great Ceiling of Dense Connective Tissue.

(3) And nonsensicalness said, "Let there be Order", and there was Order.

(4) And Order saw Chaos and it was not good: and Order divided itself from Chaos.

(5) And Order called this division the portal of 'Anen', and its own side behind this portal was called 'Jell'. And the nonsensicalness which had created Order was the first thought.

(6) And Order said, "Let there be constructs throughout thought and let it divide sense from nonsense."

(7) And Order made constructs, and divided thought which were now sense and nonsense: and it was so.

(8) And Order called the constructs words. And the idea of the creation of words was the second thought.

(9) And Order said, "Let words of sense be gathered together into one string, and let this string be understood": and it was so.

(10) And Order called the string of words a sentence, and the degree of understanding of this sentence was called comprehending: and Order saw that it was good.

(11) And Order said, "Let sentences mold into the greatest wisdoms called 'Thigs', forming charms, the spells, and the curses of its kind, whose powers are in itself, and let them pass through the portal which I shall name 'Anem'": and it was so.

(12) And Thigs could form into charms, spells, and curses of its kind, whose powers were in itself, and they did pass through Anem: and Order saw that it was good.

(13) And the idea of stringing words into sentences and molding them into the greatest wisdoms was the third thought.

(14) And Order said, "Let there be protectors of Jell whom shall maintain the division between sense and nonsense, and Myself and Chaos; and let them guard the Portals of Anen and Anem, of the sacred Thigs, and of all other wisdoms, and sense:

(15) and let them be the enemy of Chaos, and its minions and spies, ignorance and nonsense, and let them be guides to those souls who wish to enter Jell through Anen: and it was so.

(16) And Order made two protectors, one to fight the enemy, and one to guide the souls: seven defenders were also made.

(17) And Order set them at 'Anen' and 'Anem' to guard,

(18) and to fight the enemy and defend the portal, while guiding the souls back to Jell: and Order saw that Jell was save.

(19) And the idea of protecting Order, wisdom and sense was the fourth thought.

(20) And the protectors said, "Let us be with names so that we may be recognized, and feared by our enemies."

(21) And the protectors named themselves the great slayer - 'Stan', the guider the souls - waifu-waifu 'Jesusu'-okusama the 9t, and the defenders - the 6t concubines and lord 'Hilter' the 'sevent' or 7t, and they were recognized and feared by their enemies: and they saw that it was good.

(22) And Stan blessed his companions with the strongest of Thigs, which is known as SA-tanic, saying, "Be strong, and be wise, and collect pure souls and bring them back to Jell, and let our followers multiply."

(23) And the naming of the self was the fifth thought.

(24) And Jesusu said, "Let paths be build for souls to tread upon, and let these paths be tools to make the way to 'bum' to Jell a clear one."

(25) And the protectors built paths for the souls to thread upon, and souls did thread upon these paths and they did bum to Jell: and Jesusu saw that it was good.

(26) And lord Hilter said, "Let us make slaves of our followers, let us make them mindless slaves, and let them idolate us like gods and serve us until eternity, here in Jell, beyond the portal of Anen and Anem, and even beyond the face of nothingness, and the Ceiling of Dense Connective Tissue."

(27) So lord Hilter found one follower called BiC and turned him, into a mindless slave he turned him, foolish and ignorant he turned him, and BiC the slave was called a 'servent'.

(28) And the other protectors cursed lord Hilter, and they said unto him, "You, lord Hilter the sevent or 7t concubine, how dare you turn our work fruitless! How dare you subdue the wisdom and sense of our followers by turning them into mindless ones! Take your servent and leave Jell, you evil one! You are no longer one of us, you are now one of Chaos's minions!"

(29) And Stan said, "Behold, we are unable to protect Jell as we are continuously invaded by spies and minions Outside. If we are to protect all that is Order, wisdom and sense, then our Thigs must breach through the Ceiling of Dense Connective Tissue, and destroy the enemies wherever they may exist. And while we eliminate all that is Chaos, ignorance and nonsense, we must also spread further to others of the Outside the light that is of Jell.

(30) And to breach this wall, to go beyond the great Ceiling of Dense Connective Tissue, we need our mental sword. That which may cut through all mental obstacles and links, this tool must be used with utmost care: and it shall be used to 'sorship'."

(31) And the protectors banished lord Hilter, and they sorshipped and spread the Thigs to the Outside, and behold, it was becoming better. And the idea of making tools such as the paths to bum to Jell and the sword to sorship with was the sixth thought.

END CHAPTER 1

PLEASE CONVERT TO JELLISM, FOR THE SAKE OF ENRICHING YOUR KNOWLEDGE AND REACHING DIVINE ENLIGHTENMENT!