Edit: Wooow it took me a while to figure out how to format this right and make it more readable, lol. xD
"Believe and act as if it were impossible to fail."
- Charles Kettering
A Lot Like Never
Chapter One
Never in her short seventeen years of life did Sakura ever imagine that she could, and would be in such a surreal position. And yet there she was, perched between the branches of a cherry blossom tree, hidden from view by the blooming pink petals that inspired her name. Down below on the weather worn trail a small carriage was being pulled along by two steeds.
Sakura vaguely remembered this day. And just as she remembered, there her father was sat in front with reigns in hand. Her mother would no doubt be inside the carriage, busy tending to a four year old with a cold.
This moment was where the most important mission of her life truly began.
With a deep breath she tried to calm the rapid beating of her heart. Then, she leapt down to the carriage below, all the while wondering where it had all gone so horribly wrong…
"Sakura," a blond young man came rushing into the medical tents where Sakura was busy tending to the flow of injured Shinobi.
"What is it, Ichiro?" She asked as she tiredly stood up from her chair.
"Your presence is required in the strategy room."
Sakura heaved a sigh, "I don't have time for that, Ichiro. I still have seven patients lined up in the next tent and more are still coming in."
"Tsunade-sama said you'd say that, and she said to tell you that it's non-negotiable," he smiled apologetically.
Sakura cocked her head to the side, an expression of disbelief and disgruntlement on her face. "I'll be right there," she answered after taking another deep breath.
After alerting Shizune to her absence Sakura made her way to the other side of the hastily constructed base. It wasn't much of a fort. The allied forces had been pushed into a retreat and were on its last stand. Everyone knew it, but no one would admit it out loud.
The turning point had been Naruto's battle against Sasuke. It was a clash of powers unlike any before as the Kyuubi jinchuuriki fought against an elite mangyeko shiringan wielder. It was a long and drawn out battle that left the land severely scarred. And while the initial outcome had been in favor of the joint forces, the aftermath was not.
Naruto defeated Sasuke. Under normal circumstances the jinchuuriki would have died in that final duel as well, but by some miracle, or perhaps curse, the nine-tails power kept the young man alive. But before the medics could reach the unconscious Naruto, the Edo Tensei Madara ripped the demon from his body. It was a terrifying thing to witness. Sakura remembered pushing chakra into her muscles so she could run faster. Yet like everyone else, she could do little more than look on as Madara grabbed the boy by the throat, hauled him into the air and stared into his eyes with his Rinnegan. She never registered that it was her voice screaming out in panic, she never felt the shockwave hit her body as the nine-tails' energy escaped Naruto's body, but she did remember getting up and stumbling to Naruto's lifeless form and trying desperately to revive him. She remembered the soft touch on her shoulder as Kakashi knelt next to her, asking her to stop her efforts. She remembered the agonized look in his eyes as his voice stayed strong. She remembered breaking down right there, and she remembered his strong arms wrapping around her.
Kakashi helped her stand and together they made their way back to the base. It occurred to her that Madara didn't kill them. She voiced her thoughts with a giggle and a few tears, and Kakashi took her hand and said that he was probably in a hurry to recreate the ten-tails, that the fight was far from over.
"What's the point of anything anymore?" Sakura had asked him. "Madara has all nine tailed beasts. How could we possibly stop him now?"
Kakashi had a thoughtful look on his face. Then he put an arm around her shoulders and squeezed her against his side. There was a smile in his voice as he said, "We'll just have to believe and act as though it were impossible to fail."
Sakura smiled up at him, even as the tears welled up again and she said, "Like Naruto."
"Yes," he replied. "Like Naruto."
Despite the enormous drop in morale among the allied forces, the leaders kept a strong front, and the troops somehow managed to survive as Madara's assaults became overwhelming. In the end it became a giant game of hide and seek. Madara would find them and they would narrowly escape, each time with fewer survivors. Hiding became priority as the Kage's and Generals tried to come up with a counter strategy. It was the longest twelve weeks of Sakura's life.
The young medic arrived at the strategy room and was surprised to see so many people there. As she swept her gaze across the room her eyes locked upon those of her former sensei. She made her way over to where he was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.
Hatake Kakashi appeared as aloof as he usually did, but Sakura knew better. Just a few days ago she had seen him leaning against a tree, dejectedly rubbing the fatigue out of his eyes. Back then Sakura did not approach him. She knew that as a General he needed to stay strong for his underlings, and if he knew she played witness to his moment of weakness she was worried that he would see it as some kind of failure on his part.
"Sakura," Kakashi greeted her with a weary, apologetic smile. She replied by giving him the most sincere smile she could muster. She was very happy to see him, after all.
"So, what's going on here?" she asked. Kakashi looked to where the remaining Kage stood in discussion as he formed his response.
"They've called a select bunch of us together for some kind of test."
"A test? A test for what?"
"I don't know," the confusion in Kakashi's voice mirrored the confusion on Sakura's face. "But based on the fact that I don't see any hand-to-hand and weapon specialists here, I'm going to guess that the test has something to do with chakra."
Sakura looked at her Shishou. She appeared to be stressed, but that wasn't really a surprise. Their eyes met briefly as Tsunade turned to address the room full of shinobi. Her brown eyes held an emotion that Sakura struggled to place. Perhaps that's what a person looks like when they know there's no hope left, she thought.
"Looks like it's time to find out what exactly this is all about," Kakashi's voice brought Sakura's thoughts back to the present situation. Mifune was standing with his hands raised, waiting for quiet. Once the shinobi had settled down the old samurai lowered his hands and motioned towards Tsunade. The Hokage didn't waste any time as she flew into an explanation of the testing procedure. It soon became apparent that the test was centered on measuring an individual's chakra control and pain threshold. What the purpose of the test was, was still anyone's guess.
They were called in by rank, which meant that Kakashi was one of the first to be tested. Sakura made herself comfortable in the corner as she watched shinobi enter the testing room and come back out mere minutes later. They all looked severely drained as they walked past her towards the exit.
And though Kakashi had been one of the first to be tested, he still had not come out of the testing room. Worry crept to the surface of Sakura's mind, but these days worrying was the norm. She reminded herself that Kakashi was one of the highest ranking shinobi and was probably brought into the loop and perhaps even assisting with the procedures.
Sakura watched as the room steadily emptied, somewhat annoyed that she was asked to sit there while everyone else went before her. She had patients to get back to. Then finally the last ninja of Jounin rank left the testing chambers. Sakura breathed a sigh and stood. She was the only chuunin there, the last ninja left to be tested and finally they called her inside.
Her eyes fell first on Kakashi. He was seated off to the side and looked tired, but otherwise no worse for wear. He gave her a happy eye crinkle and waved when she stepped across the threshold.
"This is the last one," the jounin guard informed the Kage group.
"Come here, Sakura," Tsunade spoke. She was seated in front of a strange box-shaped machine. There were four protruding handles and Sakura guessed they were conductors of some kind.
"Hold up, Hokage-sama," Kakashi interjected as he stood.
"What is it, Hatake?" Tsunade looked patient, but her voice held a clear annoyance.
"Before you test Sakura, perhaps it's time you enlighten me as to what exactly this test is for. It's clearly of vital importance, and secrecy, otherwise you wouldn't have kept sending the high scorers away," Kakashi's eye narrowed slightly. "This is obviously some kind of preliminary to a solo mission. I urge you to give me the details before Sakura undergoes this test."
"Why?" The Raikage asked.
"So I can advise her to decline if necessary."
"Excuse me?" The Raikage growled. "We are in the middle of a fight for our existence. We do not have the luxury of being selective of our missions. We have one goal: survival! And if that means we sacrifice this girl, then that's what will happen!"
The surprise Kakashi felt was clearly expressed in the slight widening of his eye. "Sacrifice?" He questioned, appalled.
"Relax, Kakashi," Tsunade said. "I'll explain."
"He's not authorized to know yet!" The Raikage boomed.
"Well, it will either be him or Sakura, and I trust them both with my life, and with this secret," Tsunade enforced proudly. The Raikage looked as though he wanted to say more, but in the end he simply took a seat and made a waving motion for Tsunade to do as she saw fit. Sakura's stomach was doing nervous flip flops.
"Cloud," the Hokage began, "has a forbidden jutsu that's been kept secret for generations. The Raikage only brought it up because we are at our wit's end. There is no hope left, Madara has won." It was something that Sakura knew, but to hear Tsunade say it made it more real somehow, and she took a shuddering breath as she pushed the painful reality to the back of her mind and focussed her attention firmly on what Tsunade was saying. "It's last resort time, and Cloud's jutsu is it."
"What exactly does this jutsu do?" Kakashi asked. " It obviously requires above average chakra control and a high pain threshold."
"The jutsu will, as ridiculous as it may sound," Tsunade rolled her eyes, "it will send a person back in time."
"Back in time?" Sakura exclaimed.
"Yes."
"So," Kakashi spoke quietly as the seriousness of the situation dawned on him. "Whoever is sent back, will be sent back for the sole purpose of preventing the course of our history, to save us all."
"Exactly," the Raikage said, his voice more solemn than anyone had ever heard it.
"And in doing so," Kakashi continued, "condemn the mission recipient to a life in the past, where they don't belong."
"You mean there's no way to jump forward in time again?" Sakura asked, a timid edge to her voice, something she thought she'd gotten rid of years before.
All eyes were on the Raikage as he gave a definitive "No."
Kakashi stared at the ceiling for a few seconds, absorbing and working through the new information. He sighed as he came to a conclusion. He briefly thought about the path his life had taken, and wondered if he was simply destined to lose everyone he ever had a connection with. His eyes rested on Sakura. The young woman was staring at her feet, brow creased as she herself tried to come to terms with the enormity of the mission that would either be hers or Kakashi's.
"Well," Kakashi came to a decision, "that settles it. Sakura, I prohibit you from taking this test. I will take the mission."
Tsunade outright laughed at Kakashi's audacity. "I don't want Sakura to take this mission any more than you do, brat, but we have to send our best chance, and if Sakura beats your scores, then she's it."
"I think it's unnecessary."
"Silence, Hatake!" The Raikage bellowed. "It can only be the best! Do you want to know why this technique is kept secret? Because those who attempted it in the past were either ripped apart where they stood or frozen in space. Either way they died. With the cost of this jutsu we can only afford to send our best chance!
"You may be an exceptional shinobi, Hatake, but you lose too much of your chakra to that sharingan eye. You are a risk. If you do turn out to be our best shot, so be it, but I'd rather not waste my life on a 'maybe.'"
"Sakura is young and still inexperienced. I don't doubt her intelligence or abilities, but she's seventeen. She has her whole life ahead of her."
"And what kind of life would it be if Madara wins," Sakura's quiet voice shocked the argument into silence. "I know I'm young. But in the world we live in, no one can escape responsibility. I don't mean this unkindly, but it's time you stop sheltering me, Kakashi.
"Madara is turning a beautiful free world into an ugly prison, and if I have it in me to change that, then I will."
Silence reigned in the chamber after Sakura's determined declaration. Her eyes flitted between Kakashi and the Kage. Nerves were creeping up her spine, and she was afraid she would lose her mind if someone didn't say something. Surprisingly, it was the Raikage who broke the silence, "Let's test the girl and get it over with."
Tsunade motioned for Sakura to stand in front of the machine. "Grab a hold of those chakra rods, Sakura, and let me know when you are ready and we'll begin."
"What exactly is going to happen?" Sakura asked.
"The Raikage will feed chakra into these rods at an erratic pace. Keep the balance by not allowing it to overpower you, also be careful that you don't overpower the feed."
"Right," Sakura said, "I'm ready."
The Raikage moved to stand on the other side of the device, he put his hands on the other conductors and stared Sakura down. Despite her nerves, Sakura kept eye contact with the imposing man.
"One more thing, girl," he said. "This is going to hurt."
Without warning chakra flooded the rods. She pushed back with her own chakra to halt the flow, and that's when the pain began. It started as a prickling sensation in her fingers, but soon her hands were shaking.
Sakura didn't know how long the test would last, but she decided that even if her hands started bleeding she would not give in. And bleed they did.
"Tsunade-sama," Sakura vaguely registered that Kakashi was speaking. "Perhaps it's time to st—"
"Look at her eyes, Kakashi," Tsunade whispered "What do you see?"
Kakashi sighed. "I see," he finally said, "a young woman with the same kind of stubborn determination that Naruto had." He knew how much Naruto's death had affected Sakura. He'd sat next to her as she questioned the point of everything, and he'd tried to give her hope. What he saw now was a young woman who had taken his every word to heart. She always had, even when he was lying to try and salvage her infectious smile.
"Would you look at that," Tsunade laughed. Kakashi opened his sharingan eye and was amazed to find that not only was Sakura maintaining the rapidly fluctuating balance, but she was also repairing the chakra points in her hands at the same time.
It continued like that, and Kakashi watched as Sakura's chakra reserves slowly depleted. Then, without warning the Raikage stepped away from the machine. Sakura let go of the rods and straightened her back as she tried to catch her breath. "Why did you stop?" She asked, bewildered.
"You have astounding chakra control," he said as he turned around to face her. "There is no need to continue. Surprisingly, or perhaps unsurprisingly so, you beat Hatake, and everyone else for that matter, by a mile."
Mifune walked closer to where Tsunade was busy inspecting Sakura's hands. "Her training must begin immediately."
"Of course," the Hokage replied. Mifune and the remaining Kage filed out of the room, leaving the three Konoha ninja alone.
Tsunade rested a hand on Sakura's shoulder as she steered the young woman towards the door at the back of the room. Kakashi walked behind the two, a sadness gripping his chest so tight that he found it difficult to breathe. Sweet, young Sakura should never have been in that position. People like her weren't meant to take on such burdens. He couldn't help think that he'd failed her. But then she turned her head around, smiled brightly at him, and asked if he would train with her.
"Of course," came his reply. Her smile widened, but he could see his own melancholy reflected in her bright eyes. It occurred to him then that soon they would never see each other again.
"So, it's time," Sakura's voice was soft, resigned.
"Yes," Tsunade replied.
"Okay," Sakura equipped her weapons and supplies in silence, trying to will away the sudden onslaught of emotions that threatened to flood her eyes with tears.
"You are ready," Tsunade said as they began walking to the large cavern that had been prepared for the jutsu.
"I know," she whispered as they entered the stone chamber. Sigils and markings covered the floor. It was so intricate that Sakura couldn't even begin to fathom how its creator had figured it out.
"Let's begin," the Raikage said, his voice solemn.
"One moment, please," Kakashi said, a tiny amount of desperation seeping into his voice. "I must speak to Sakura for a moment."
The Raikage sighed, "Don't be too long."
"Thanks you," Kakashi said, then motioned for Sakura to follow him. He led her outside where the sun was shining brightly down upon them. It was completely inappropriate, Kakashi thought. For what was about to happen, it should have been dreary, cloudy at the very least. He ignored his own sadness and turned to Sakura.
"How are you doing?" He asked as he tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.
"Nervous, worried, happy, sad… I don't know anymore."
Kakashi exhaled slowly. He understood. "It will all work out, Sakura," he said as he gently took hold of her chin and titled her head so she would look him in the eye. "I want to give you a little going away present."
Sakura's eyes lit up and a small smile stretched across her lips. "What is it?" She asked, almost eagerly.
"A memory, to help you remember what you are fighting for, because you will face obstacles that will seem insurmountable."
Sakura waited in anticipation, wondering how he would give her a memory. He took off his hitae-ate, then paused as he scratched the back of his head and said in that aloof tone Sakura was so used to, "Just don't think me vain for doing something so silly." Without any hesitation he hooked two fingers around his mask, pulled it down, and smiled at her.
Sakura inhaled unsteadily and smiled right back. She couldn't remember the last time she had been so happy. And all because of such a simple gesture. Tears formed in her eyes as she said, "It's amazing to finally see the whole picture."
Then she laughed, a burden free sound that Kakashi thought he'd never hear again. "Thank you," she said as she stared at his smiling face. He had a prominent facial structure, filled out by smooth flesh. There was a shallow dimple on his chin and when he smiled she saw two rows of mostly perfect teeth. The crooked rebel next to the chipped incisor only proved to her again that he was a flesh and bone human being. She took a shuddering breath as the severity of her situation smacked her in the face.
She would never see this man again.
Tears welled up in her eyes, even as she smiled at him. He must have known what she was thinking, because his eyes softened, and his smile relaxed. He cupped her face with his hands and rubbed away the tears that had spilled from her eyes. "I would give you a photograph," he said in mock seriousness, "but it might fall into the wrong hands." She rolled her eyes at him playfully and pulled him into a hug. She clung to him desperately, her hands fisting his jacket. In an attempt to comfort her further he said, "Besides, with a head like yours you make your own pictures."
"The perks of eidetic memory," she said as she pulled away to study him again. The smile was back on her face as she asked, "If I succeed, what do you think will happen over here?"
"Nothing," Kakashi replied.
"What do you mean?" Sakura asked, her smile faltering.
"It's impossible to change the past. However, when you succeed, you will be giving our past selves a better future."
"I thought the point of this was to help us."
"And you will, Sakura, because ultimately, Madara won't win."
"I don't understand," Sakura searched Kakashi's eyes, trying to see some sense in the confusion she was feeling.
"Don't dwell on it now, Sakura."
"You're infuriating."
"I know."
"You have no idea how much I'm going to miss you."
Kakashi tucked another lock of pink hair behind her ear. "Oh, I think I do."
Sakura landed on top of the carriage without so much as even a quiet tap. She leaned over the edge and was met with the sight of her father's cherry-blonde hair. She remembered how he had complained after the wind carried his beaten old straw hat down a ravine. She couldn't help but smile at the memory.
The happiness was short-lived. Sakura began forming seals for an earth jutsu, gathered her chakra, then cracked the earth as she released the jutsu and made it impossible for the carriage to go any further. The loud snapping noise startled the horses so much that her father had to mount them to calm the beasts.
She could hear her mother shuffling about inside the carriage and quickly formed another set of seals. As the jutsu completed she blended into her surroundings in a perfect camouflage jutsu, courtesy of the Tsuchikage. Without delay she jumped down next to the horse her father was still trying to reassure.
"What's happened?" Her mother peaked out, eyebrows knit in worry.
"The ground split right in front of us. Get back inside, it could be bandits."
Sakura smiled sadly at her younger father as he finally dismounted from the horse and pulled out a walking stick that looked more like a club. She could see fear in his eyes. She knew that kind of fear. It wasn't the kind that rendered you immobile. It was the kind of fear you felt when the safety of your precious people were threatened.
"Do you think it's ninjas?" An excited young Sakura hopped out of the carriage.
"Sakura, back inside," her father's voice was stern.
"But I want to see a ninja."
"You will when we get to Konoha," her mother worriedly tried to herd the squirming four year old back inside. "Now get inside, you're still sick."
Sakura gathered a tiny amount of chakra in her foot and cracked the ground again. Three pairs of eyes followed the crack as it crept closer to the carriage. The stood transfixed long enough for her to form hand seals and cast an elaborate genjutsu over them. They stood unblinking and unmoving.
The seventeen year old dropped her camouflage justu and walked up to her father first. She placed a hand on his head, then with a pained apology she began altering his memories as Inoichi had shown her. She did the same to her mother and younger self.
With precise control she turned herself into a boyish duplicate of her four year old self, and climbed into the carriage. A few hand seals and an earth jutsu later the road was repaired, then she released her hold on the genjutsu.
"Alright, everyone back on board. We're not far from Konoha now."
Little Sakura and her mother climbed back inside where they quickly made themselves comfortable.
She felt like crying. Her mission would not be easy if she could not control her emotions, so she beat back the tears with sheer willpower, but it was too late. Her mother had taken notice of her glistening eyes.
"Are you ok, Arashi?"
"I'm fine, mommy," Sakura said as she put on her best fake smile. No longer was she Haruno Sakura. She had become Haruno Arashi: The fake twin of the real Haruno Sakura.
She brought up the memory of Kakashi's face and voice as his words echoed in her mind, strengthening her resolve, "Believe and act as though it were impossible to fail."
This idea has been hammering inside my head for over six months now.
1. I'll try not to be too gratuitous, but I always thought Sakura was a severely underrated character. Perfect chakra control… the application of that if nurtured correctly would be magnificent.
2. I debated with myself for a looong time over the gender future Sakura's new identity would have… decided on a boy for several reasons, the most important being that I did not want present Sakura to be in the shadow of her twin sister. People look at boys and girls differently, and with how insecure young Sakura was, I figured having an identital twin that's "better" than her would not do her self-esteem a great deal of good.
3. Other reasons will become known later.
4. Why time-travel? Well… I've seen plenty of time-travel fics, some good some bad some not even plausible, and I do secretly have a minor obsession with it… blame Back to the Future… and I wanted to have some fun… so why not? :P
5. I'll do my best to actually keep writing and finish this story, but I am a full time college student taking extra classes, so updates will be slow.
6. Kakashi will be a very prominent character in this story.
7. What else… er… Engrish is not my first language, so apologies if I butcher it. Unintentional… I swear. Also, everything will probably be un-betad.
8. I hope you enjoyed this first installment of Rubicon Burden! It may feel rushed at the moment, and may continue to feel rushed from time to time… because I'm sure you don't need me to bore you with retelling the manga… haha.
9. I'll try to talk less next time.