Wedding Dress

He found himself taking apprehensive steps up a corridor and then turning on his heel and heading straight for the exit, he proceeded to continue with the process until the door before him opened and breezy laughter caught in his ears. A familiar redhead gave him a tearful smile and motioned for him to come in, at least there was now no choice for him and he didn't find himself straddling the fence of facing his fear or backing away like the idiot he tried not to be. He adjusted his tie and cleared his throat, nodding respectively as he passed the lean redhead and only hesitated as the transvestite murmured,

"She looks stunning."

He felt words get caught up in his throat as he paused. Did he really want to see how beautiful she looked? Maybe if he did it'd make the whole situation a lot more difficult. However, he pursued chivalrously and simply smiling, murmuring an agitated,

"She would."

The light and lovely scents were overwhelming; the room was full to the brink with over excited women gracing elegant attire and giggles reverberated off the brightly coloured walls. He ducked his head in a bashful manner and flashed one of his infamous smiles, muttering greetings and occasionally complimenting whomever the closest female was until he finally mustered up the courage to inquire where the bride hid.

"Over here, idiot."

He looked up from the girl he was speaking to only to be exposed to one of the most abnormally gorgeous sights he had seen in a long time. Her petite frame radiated élan, simple yet dainty fabric draped her body and complimented the glow she held, her cropped hair curled around her face as if to accentuate warm brown eyes and elfin features and her smile conveyed nothing but purity. The beauty in front of him, taunted him mercilessly. Al the clichés in the world could not sum up the feelings he had playing teasingly with his mind. Flawless, breathtaking, beautiful…All of these seemed miniscule once placed to her.

"There you are," was all that escaped his lips. She rolled her eyes and raised a brow, making him genuinely laugh at the sarcastic expression on her cheeky face. He held out his arms and charged for her, not too roughly that it would knock them both over but forceful enough for het to titter back slightly.

"You look adorable!" It was pointless dribble, just a replay of what he said every day for the past few years he'd known her, both of them knew it, but pointless dribble seemed to be a lot easier than actually saying what was on his mind. She laughed in the wholeheartedly fashion she had taken to and ruffled his hair as he bent down so that his head lay on her shoulder. He breathed in the tremendously overwhelming scent of lavender and let his eyelids flutter shut so that for just a fleeting moment he could pretend that it was him that was granted the privilege of holding her petite frame today and for the rest of the days of his life. It was only until he felt her pull back slightly did he let her go and open his eyes.

There was another cluster of noise and the next thing he knew he was watching her walk down the aisle, bowing her head bashfully and hating the attention. Turning to his left he saw Kyouya sat so peacefully, his face plain and emotionless as it always was. Turning to his right he saw the twins smiling and whispering to each other as they always did. It all seemed so normal. Except that he wasn't meant to be sat there watching her get married to another man and everyone act so natural.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today."

No.

"To witness these two"

This shouldn't be happening. Don't do this.

"Finding togetherness in holy matrimony."

Why is no one stopping this?

"Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

That should be me.

"I do."

Get away from her.

"And do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

Please don't.

"I do."

He watched helplessly, as though his body wasn't following the commands his brain was telling it to obey. He opened his lips to scream but only air escaped his throat. That was it. She was never going to be his.

Waking with a jolt, Tamaki Suoh ran his hand through his hair and felt beads of sweat drip down his back as he did so, his neck stung from the impact of speed he shot up and his head throbbed. The very slight light of a lamppost breaking through a chink in his curtains signaled that it was only early morning, however, he took no notice and grabbed his phone without even a sign of hesitation and dialed the numbers as fast as his fingers would let him.

"It's three in the morning, Tamaki," the voice on the other end of the phone was obviously exasperated by the early morning disturbance, but it was refreshing to hear it even so.

"Haruhi, Arai and you…"

"This again? I've told you all about ten times, we're just friends."

"Yes but is there any possibility that…"

"No. Now is that all you called me for?"

Tamaki felt his lips part slightly, "No."

"Then what is it?"
It was so simple. All he needed to say was three stupid words and this all would be over, the nightmares, everything but for some idiotic reason he couldn't say it.

Tell her idiot! His mind screamed, you're such a coward! Nothing's going to happen if you don't make it. Tell her!

"Just reminding you that club's on Monday."

He ignored the retort that followed his last sentence and just led back on his bed, hating himself for being so childish.

If it was so simple, why couldn't he just say it?