She was walking, letting him hold her hand and she wasn't removing it.
He kept pointing towards different parts of the carnival, smiling and trying to get her to laugh.
He was succeeding though and when she had stopped to point towards a stuffed polar bear dog animal, he smiled and touched a strand of her hair that had fallen, his gaze suddenly intimate.
Bolin felt his heart squeeze painfully as anger rushed through his body. He hated this.
Hated that he was not the one holding her hand, the other man touching her as if he had a right.
As if he was her boyfriend.
Bolin wished she would move away but she didn't. He saw the blush that crept to her cheeks as she turned away.
Bolin used to be the one who made her blush like that.
He used to be the one that made her smile, made her laugh until tears fell, made her sigh with contentment when he held her, made her squeeze his shoulders and neck when he kissed her.
Used to be the one who was everything to her.
Now he was the one who hurt her and it made him sick.
Instead of making her happy, he was now the source of her pain and it was his entire fault.
But that didn't mean that Bolin liked that someone else was drawing her smiles and causing soft giggles, something Bolin had always done.
He hated it with a vengeance and it wasn't until he felt that soft batter of food wet his gloves that he noticed he had crushed his food and it was now useless.
He tossed it to the ground sighing heavily and noticed Mako and Korra feeding each other.
It annoyed him, pissed him off yet made him feel so lonely. He remembered when Aylin would feed him, giggling as he made crazy faces.
A pang in his heart caused him to look away from Mako and Korra, and towards Aylin and that guy, Vanek.
Spirits, Bolin wished he was with her right now, winning her prizes, showing off his skills to impress her, kissing her constantly to let her know how much he loved her and to let the men know that she was his.
How much he still loved her even if she hated him.
He wished he could take it back, take it all back, going back to the moment where she and Bolin had looked out at the carnival, sitting at the cliff's edge, her head on his shoulder where he was bundled up where she was not, just covering the basics because she was used to the cold and he was not.
He laid his head on top of her head, looking out as the sun set.
"This is beautiful."
"Not like you." Bolin murmured as she looked up at him, blushing madly.
He smiled, cupping her face in his glove covered hands and leaned in to kiss her deeply and passionately as she returned the kiss, throwing her arms around his neck to pull him closer and he let her, enjoying the feel of her body against his.
He wanted that moment back. That look she got that was a little dazed but always, always filled with love and joy when they pulled away.
He wanted that look back.
He wanted Aylin back.
But she didn't.
He could still remember that look of utter betrayal and profound sadness and pain that would forever burn in his mind for as long as he lived.
Spirits, why had he kissed Eska? Why?
He liked her, he really did and when she followed him, enjoying some of the things he did but Aylin didn't, he liked it.
A lot.
Perhaps too much now that he thought about it.
But he couldn't explain the pull he had towards Eska's mysterious aura. He found it interesting.
Once he started being friends with her, he kept trying to spend time with her.
He invited Eska to go with him and Aylin without making sure Aylin was okay with it. But she had been.
Or maybe she wasn't.
He didn't know. He wasn't paying attention as he should have. He was too focused on hanging out with Eska to pay attention to Aylin because if he had, he would have noticed how quiet and withdrawn she would be, lagging behind until she finally left and he would never notice until he went back to his guest home and realize he had no idea where she was.
He looked for her, finding her at the cliff's edge, waterbending until he interrupted.
She wouldn't smile, though and when he asked what's wrong, she had tried telling him that she wanted to spend time with him, alone.
He would apologize and promise to make time for her, appeasing her for the moment.
He would make plans with Aylin and it would make her happy.
Until he forgot because he wanted to hang out with the quiet, serious, Eska and do something just to get her to break that monotone voice of hers and he would forget and hang out with her, enjoying his time until it was over and he remembered that he had forgotten Aylin.
He would feel guilty and look for her, calling out to her, until he found her.
Alone and looking so dejected, hugging her knees as the wind blew her hair behind her.
He felt foolish as he walked towards her, sitting down to talk to her, to apologize to her and usually she would let him.
But not that day.
He reached for her and she moved away from him, standing up and walking away telling him that he should come when he actually wanted to instead of feeling guilty.
That he should just spend all his time with Eska because he obviously didn't have time for her.
It hurt, it really did and he tried apologizing but when she turned around, he saw the hurt in her eyes.
"Find me when you have time for me. I don't want any leftovers with you. I'm your girlfriend. Or did you forget?"
"Of course I didn't. I was going to come. I really was! But Eska..."
At the name, Aylin tensed and turned around, calling for Nyla as he begged her to listen, that he was sorry.
"Go find Eska. I'm sure she'll enjoy spending her time with you. Don't mind me. I'm just your girlfriend who needs to beg for time with her boyfriend."
"Aylin. I love you. You know that?"
"Do I?" She said sadly as she looked at him, Nyla coming towards them.
"I didn't know that loving someone meant blowing them off every time they make plans. I didn't know that loving someone meant forgetting they were there when you hang out with Eska and only notice they're gone, hours later. I didn't know loving someone meant ignoring them when they want to spend time with you, want to talk to you, want to kiss you but you blow them off because you're in a hurry to meet someone else. I didn't know that I had to fight for your attention and affection when you clearly want her."
"I'm sorry. I really am. I'll make it up to you. You and I can spend the whole day tomorrow at the festival, just the two of us." He begged, trying to hold her because something was telling him he was losing her, and losing her fast.
"And then what? You'll drop me for her when she wants something or you want something. You forgot that we were supposed to do that today."
Bolin blinked, ashamed that he had forgotten but couldn't she understand that Eska was his friend and he had to hang out with her sometimes.
"We've been here for two weeks and I can count on one hand how many times we've hung out."
"You can't expect me to spend all of my time with you!" Bolin yelled and immediately wished he could take it back when he saw the hurt flash in her eyes.
"How dare you? I would never expect you to spend all of your time with me. I know that. I'm grateful for the time we do spend. Mako is a police officer and Korra is the avatar and it's hard for them to find time but they tryand when they make plans, they don't blow the other off."
"That's completely different."
"How? How is it different? You haven't even tried to make time for me. Once in a while, I would expect you to spend time with me, no matter how small."
"I do try!"
"Not hard enough!" She yelled back, cheeks flushed and Bolin thought she looked absolutely adorable when she was mad and he wanted to kiss her.
But now was not the time.
"Of course I do. I came, didn't I?"
"Four hours late! I looked pathetic and miserable waiting for you at the festival seeing everyone else finding their friends or girlfriends as they spent time with each other and looked happy. I kept waiting for you but you never came and that hurt more. If you didn't want to come, you should've told me."
"I do. I did!"
"Well, you didn't and-"
"Hey, Aylin, oh..."
Bolin turned around and saw a tall, slim guy with dark hair and blue eyes, holding a bag in his hand and looking sudden sheepish and awkward. Bolin felt the jealousy rise in him as he saw Aylin turn and blush.
Who was he?
"Vanek, this isn't a good time." Aylin said, looking shy.
"I'm sorry. I just saw you waiting all alone at the festival and you never got to have any fun because it was closing so I thought I would bring some of the festival back but I can see you're busy so I'll just go."
"It's okay. I'll see you tomorrow." Aylin said and Bolin blocked his view, crossing his arms at Vanek.
"We're busy." Bolin said, looking angrily at Vanek.
He saw the anger flash in Vanek's eyes before he said, "I won't leave you waiting, Aylin. I'll make time for you." and walked off.
Bolin turned around and wanted to know who he was, how they met and so forth.
"Why do you care? You don't make time for me. Vanek kept me company while I waited for you and never came."
"I don't like him."
"I don't like Eska but you don't seem to care what I think. Only what she thinks."
"I love you, Aylin. I said I was sorry."
"It's not good enough. How would you like it if I kept blowing you off for Vanek?"
Bolin frowned angrily and clenched his fists.
"Don't do that. I don't like him."
Her eyes flashed with anger as she looked at him.
"Now you know how I feel about Eska and you spending all of your time together."
Bolin sighed and reached for her arms, grabbing her elbows and bending down to grab her chin and have him look at her.
"I'm sorry. I don't want to fight or hurt you. Tomorrow, it's going to be just you and me."
"No, it won't. Not unless she says something in that bored tone of hers and you want to try to hear emotion other than boredom in her voice."
He shook his head, hating the doubt in her eyes, knowing he was the one who put it there.
"I promise. I won't talk to her. You just wait for me by the festival and we'll spend all day tomorrow."
She shook her head, saying he would forget.
"No, I won't. I promise. I'll tell Korra and she won't make me forget."
He saw the hesitation in her eyes but the hope rise and knew he was winning.
"I miss you, Aylin. I miss talking to you, holding you, kissing you." He said and it wasn't until he said it that he realized it was true.
He did miss her.
"Please?"
She looked at him for a long time before nodding and he crushed her to him, kissing her as she sighed.
"Promise?"
"I promise." He had said before they headed back home.
He was all prepared the next day to get her and spend his time with her.
Until Eska came and said she needed help. He tried weaseling out of it but she promised it would only take a second and besides she was the chief's daughter and he had to listen to her.
He hesitated but agreed to help her and followed her towards her guest home, asking him to pick up some heavy items in the home she was staying in along with her twin and father.
He said he couldn't stay long and Eska said to just get it done. He believed her and helped her; the feeling of something was wrong nagging him until he pushed it away.
The sun had set and he looked up to see that it was late, really late. Eska thanked him for his help and he looked at her, but suddenly he stopped what he was going to say because Eska was looking at him, detached yet curious and he thought she looked pretty.
He walked to her and she frowned and his body was telling him something was wrong and he started to move away until a dark voice whispered to him, telling him to stay, to stay with Eska.
And he listened and saw Eska close her eyes and he started to move away until that voice told him to stay and kiss her, kiss her, to forget and kiss her.
And he listened, placing his lips on hers and he let her kiss him back hesitantly and he kissed her back, his hands reaching for her hips but something inside of him was screaming at him to stop, to pull away, to think about Aylin.
At her name, he pulled away and saw Aylin with her hands over her mouth and her eyes wide with betrayal and pain.
"Aylin, this...it's not...I can explain." Bolin said desperately, his body cold with fear and horror of what he had done.
"Let's go, Aylin." He heard Vanek say and didn't see him until he grabbed Aylin by the arm, who was openly sobbing now and it wrenched his heart.
"Aylin, I..."
"How could you?! After everything we did, after you promised me, you still went with her and you kissed her. Why? Why would you do this?!"
Bolin felt his body drain of blood as his heart pounded frantically. He didn't want to lose her. This was a mistake.
"Aylin, I..."
"I hate you! I wish I never met you! I wish I never believed you! I hate you!" She yelled at him, the tears falling in waves as Vanek pulled her away and she let him and clung to his side, crying into his shoulder.
Bolin felt like someone punched him in the gut as Vanek shot him a look of hatred and contempt and Aylin sobs sliced into him as they left his sight.
Since then, Bolin had done everything he could to talk to her but she avoided him and he could never find her.
His brother and friends asked if they got into a fight and he didn't want to explain what happened so he lied and said yes and looked for her, wondering why she hadn't said a thing.
He found her packing on Nyla's back and he rushed towards her, calling for her and she turned, the look on her face stopping him cold.
She had bags under her eyes and her face looked puffy. Her cheeks were more prominent, as if she had lost weight, and she had lost that joy she had. But her eyes, they were dull and there was no sign of love or happiness in them. They were filled with pain and anger and hatred and aimed towards him and it felt like someone had sliced into his body and cut his insides into pieces.
"I don't ever want to see you again. I took all of my stuff back and left your stuff in your tent. Don't follow me. Don't talk to me. Don't love me. Go find Eska. I'm sure she'll love spending time with you." Her voice was filled with hatred and venom, it made him flinch as she climbed on Nyla and left.
It felt like she had ripped his arms apart from his body. It hurt seeing her.
No one questioned it. They thought she needed to cool down. Mako would joke that Bolin must've gotten into trouble again.
If only they knew how much.
Eska had suddenly seemed to follow him, talking in that monotone voice of hers. She even said that she would make him hers and that he had to win her prizes. He didn't want to be rude but he also didn't want to be with her right now. Eska didn't seem to care what he felt. Mako even made jokes and Bolin was so not in the mood.
He didn't care how Eska felt about him. He just wanted Aylin back and now that she was here, with Vanek, Bolin didn't know what to do.
He missed her. He ached for her. He felt like he was lost in the ocean and Aylin was the land he needed to land on to survive. He couldn't keep going on like this.
He had to get her back. Explain, beg, grovel on his knees, do anything to get her to see that he loved her and that it was mistake, that Eska was a mistake.
He saw Vanek grab Aylin's hand and pull her through the crowds and the anger and jealousy and longing clashed together.
He wasn't going to stay by and let her get away. Especially not to Vanek.
Aylin belonged to him and he belonged to her.
She owned him. Body, heart and soul and Bolin wasn't going to let Vanek steal her away or let Eska's kiss ruin what they had.
Bolin walked after them, pushing back Eska who was calling for him.
He had a mission to get Aylin to come back to him.
No matter what it took.
No matter how long it took.
He wasn't going to lose her.
Not now, not ever.
Even if it killed him.
Review Please! What did you guys think of Book Two yesterday?