ONLY YOU
Summary: Through anything she's there to be counted on: friend, tutor, confidant. Beneath the surface, emotions linger. She's tired of repressing, she's tired of fading away. HSM3 Deleted Scenes.
Author's note: Dedicated to the people who challenge me to be true to myself and not be afraid to live outside the box.
She set down her pencil carefully on the piano bench, smiling broadly. She was alone in the room, there was no one there to witness her elation, but it didn't matter. She didn't need anyone there. The challenge had been with herself. The victory was sweet.
The song was complete. Everyone around her had said it had been complete weeks earlier. However Kelsi was a perfectionist, and she would spend hours hunched over her piano; playing, humming and singing every last note of her compositions in succession until she was satisfied that it could simply not be improved within the parameters of her current skills and knowledge. Every time she had arrived at rehearsal and produced a rewrite of the song with one altered lyric or slightly different key, everyone would roll their eyes, sigh and insist she should leave it the way it was. They were of the view that from the first rehearsal with Troy and Gabriella sitting on the piano, it had been perfection. Troy, however, was different. Each and every time he would smile and give her an encouraging wink. He understood her need to achieve perfection. She'd watched him practicing his jump shot, making basket after basket, each time it would go in however he would continue to practice, paying attention to every nuance of his stance, posture and grip. Troy got it. It all was a part of the package of being The Playmaker.
She emerged from the music room, unaware of what time it was. She'd become accustomed to arriving early and submersing herself in Senior Year; in fact even before Senior Year she'd enjoyed the solitude of the East High music room early in the morning. However in recent times she would become so wrapped up in her compositions that she'd been late to homeroom more than once. Ms. Darbus did not approve of tardiness, not even when the catalyst for tardiness was the show, and over the last month, Troy had formed the habit of dropping by to remind her that the bell was about to ring, to make sure she wouldn't be late. She couldn't help but feel a bit giddy and touched by the gesture, and to enjoy the moments of one on one time with Troy, albeit brief as they may be. It had occurred to her that he was only stopping by to spend time with her because the person he had previously spent the precious moments of freedom before homeroom was no longer present. Kelsi chose to quash this thought, and to just enjoy it for what it was.
To her surprise she found Troy already in their homeroom, hunched over some paperwork. She'd pretty much expected that he had been hanging out with Chad and their other friends and would just come into the building a few minutes early to come meet her. She'd never contemplated that he spent time similarly to her – in solitude.
"Hey Hoops Man," she said teasingly. He glanced up, surprised to see her. He quickly shoved away whatever it was that he'd been reading and Kelsi raised her eyebrows – she caught a glimpse of them, immediately recognising the University of California, Berkeley logo. "Playboy mags?"
He smirked. "Yeah, I'd totally bring those into Darbus's holy room."
She laughed. "No really, what was that?"
He hesitated for a moment, and lied. "Homework," he said simply. Kelsi raised her eyebrows at his deference of the truth. Troy suspected that Kelsi had seen what he'd been looking at, but didn't say anything regardless. Thus far there were only three people who knew that he'd had offers from colleges other than U of A – one of them had been his mother who was unconditionally supportive, the second was his father who had reacted dreadfully, the third was Gabriella – and she hadn't really reacted at all. "I'm a bit behind. Um... Gabriella normally helps me," he confessed, ducking his head a little shamefully. It hadn't been homework he was doing but it was the truth that he was behind, largely due to his loss of his tutor slash slave driver, but also partly because he just was struggling to find the will to care. People never really questioned Troy's academic performance. He did okay – a solid B student, would slip down to a C if he was slacking off and in some subjects if he applied himself was within the reach of an A. In recent weeks, the slacking off had come into play.
"If you need help with homework, I can always give you a hand," she offered.
"Thanks, I appreciate it. I might take you up on that." Troy glanced at the clock on the wall. "Anyway, what are you doing here? There's a whole ten minutes before the bell is gonna ring."
Kelsi was tempted to press him to talk about whatever it was he'd been reading with Berkeley letter head but she decided to drop it – if he wanted to talk then he would talk, she shouldn't need to press him about the matter. So she allowed him to divert the topic of conversation, and grinned broadly as she sank into her seat beside his.
"It is complete," she said proudly, biting her lip in anticipation of his response.
Troy cocked his head, eyebrows furrowed in momentary confusion. "It?" he repeated, before it dawned on him, a wide smile spreading across his lips. "The song?"
She nodded enthusiastically. "It is complete," she repeated once again.
Troy rose to his feet, emerging her small frame in a tight hug. "Kelsi, that's incredible!" he exclaimed by her ear.
She drew in a sharp breath as the scent of his boyish smelling spray on deodorant and the general odour of Troy swelled around her. There was no doubting that in recent weeks, the usual occasional hugs she'd receive from Troy had duplicated in number and that on the whole his mannerisms toward her could be best described as touchy feely. She'd noticed a raised eyebrow from Martha a couple of times at their interactions, she didn't really talk about her friendship with Troy with anyone. They'd struck up a peculiar camaraderie, a comfortable camaraderie, right from when it had been Troy and only Troy who had possessed the ability to bring her Arnold to life over a year earlier. It was hard to put a label on – she just knew sometimes that she could look at Troy and he could look at her and they got one another. Polar opposites in many ways, they were, but this wasn't a barrier to friendship.
"Bet you can't wait to tell Ryan," Troy commented.
Kelsi cocked her head at this. She'd not really talked about her bond with Ryan with anyone, especially not Troy. She wouldn't really know what to say. He too had been spending some time with her in the mornings in the music room, sharing her pot of tea. He was cute – a tad effeminate - but he was lovely and when separated from Sharpay, he was quirky in the best of ways. It was more of a kinship, comfort, familiarity.
He wasn't Troy.
"How do you mean?" Kelsi asked.
"Well, you guys have been working on the show together a lot, so I figured you'd want to tell him," Troy offered. "You are going to Prom with him, aren't you?"
"Um, yeah. But we haven't been working on the show much this last week or so – he's been so wrapped up in the choreography side. I guess especially because of the recasting..." Kelsi trailed off. The recasting which had occurred as a result of Gabriella's departure.
Troy's expression remained still. "Well I'm really proud of you. I know how important it was to you to get the song just right."
"Um... what are you doing at lunch?" Kelsi asked. "You don't have rehearsal scheduled, do you?"
"No, they're doing Tiara's song at lunch, aren't they?"
"Do you think you could come with me to the music room to rehearse the song?" she asked. "Just... to make sure it's all fine, before our rehearsal with Sharpay after school?"
He nodded, flashing her his million dollar smile, the smile that never failed to make her feel that touch of faint. "That's fine. I brought my lunch today too. I'll just go by the cafeteria to grab a drink and I'll meet you there."
She couldn't help but smile broadly in return – it was like a magnetic response, a bit of a flush and a smile to match his.
The warning bell rang, interrupting the private moment and causing Kelsi to leap back slightly. Moments later classmates began to pour into the room, not wanting to arrive after the final bell and face the wrath of Ms. Darbus. Troy's buddies greeted him with tones just slightly brighter than they would've a few short weeks earlier – there was almost a forced cheeriness, trying to make things okay. Troy didn't talk about it aloud, but Kelsi knew that inside, he was hurting, and he was hurting badly.
Which hurt her.
Kelsi arrived in the music room at lunch time to find Troy had already arrived. He was seated at the piano, his fingers poised on the smooth keys but not moving them, not pressing them.
"Do you wanna learn?" she asked with a smile.
He jumped slightly, having been startled, his fingers clunking against the keys sounding a mess of noise.
"Sorry," she apologised with a giggle. Troy was normally so together that any moment of imperfection was somewhat entertaining.
"I don't think I'd be any good. I'll stick with the tiny bit of guitar I know thanks to those compulsory middle school music classes we took," he mused. "My mom always wanted me to take piano lessons when I was younger, she was convinced that I needed to have a more rounded extra curricular education since she knew that with my dad's influence, me being into basketball was inevitable."
"Did you ever take those piano lessons?"
"No," Troy said, and with a slight laugh remarked, "Didn't stop me from getting into performing though."
"No. No it didn't," Kelsi agreed with a smile. She sat down at the piano beside him and began to set up her sheet music, while Troy began to play the one song that he knew, with one finger sounding out Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and punctuating the song with a flourish of his fingers running back against the length of half the keyboard. Kelsi applauded his efforts and they both laughed.
"Okay, I'll let the expert take over now," Troy said, moving over slightly along the piano bench to give her the room she'd require to play.
"Musically it hasn't changed much. There is a new part here," her finger gestured on the sheet music toward the end of the song. Troy began to scan over the lyrics. "Help me with the tune?"
"Come on, you're good at sheet music! Freakily good for someone with minimal training."
It was true. Troy seemed to have had that musical potential within him, he had recollection of standing around the piano with Gabriella and Kelsi after witnessing the atrocious Twinkle Towne auditions and between the renditions he'd heard and the sheet music, being able to tunefully sing the song. The course of Twinkle Towne rehearsals had been his crash course in sheet music reading and since then he'd been pretty accomplished for a novice. He examined the section that Kelsi had pointed towards and with half power to his tone, sang the lyrics aloud, glancing to Kelsi to make sure he had the tune right.
"The sun will always shine, that's how you make me feel, we're gonna be all right, coz what we have is real...all, I wanna do is be with you, be with you..." he trailed off, looking to Kelsi for the final seal of approval.
She nodded, smiling brightly. Musical talent was something she admired and in particular she found it attractive in Troy – perhaps it was the fact that it was a surprising musical talent that stood out.
"Pretty much perfect," she declared. He'd delivered it just the way she'd envisaged it.
"So that's the new bit. Has anything else changed?"
They proceeded to go through the song. Her most recent set of alterations had been more of a necessity than anything – tweaks to the melody and key to ensure it suited Sharpay's voice. Sharpay and Gabriella had similar vocal range, but not identical, so she's felt the need to make a few alterations – plus a few had been at Sharpay's request and Kelsi had learnt that when Sharpay's requests weren't entirely ridiculous, it was easier to go along than to argue.
Kelsi loved rehearsing with Troy. She couldn't help but cast her mind back to the time she'd spent alone with him in the lead up to the call back auditions for Twinkle Towne; as a result of he and Gabriella's hectic schedules she'd conducted many rehearsals individually with each of them. He was a perfectionist; if he didn't like the way he'd executed a note then he'd make her stop and go back – she didn't mind one bit. With performers like Sharpay it was easier for her to become disheartened about her role as composer, seeing her vision altered. Troy cared about delivering the song just how she wanted it – he had faith in that vision.
"I wish I was singing this with you instead of Sharpay," Troy commented when they finished going over the changes.
Kelsi wrinkled her nose. "Sharpay is a better singer than me, by far. I'm content at my piano, thanks very much."
"And yet here you are, opening the show," he pointed out.
She shuddered. "I'm still kind of hoping Ryan gives up on that plan."
"Ms. Darbus seems to think it's a clever opening. You guys looked great in rehearsal the other day."
"I'll just have to focus on the fact that everyone will be looking at Ryan, not me."
"Why are you being so down on yourself? You have an adorable voice. You're so talented. We all know it, why don't you believe it?"
"Did you hear? Sharpay has started planning her move to New York City already," Kelsi commented.
Troy rolled his eyes. "If Sharpay gets this thing over you or Ryan, seriously, I'll think the people from Juilliard must be on crack."
Kelsi shrugged. "It depends what they are looking for really. Sometimes they have a quota they're trying to fill of people in different programs, if they've already filled their music program but are still on the hunt for theatre majors, it could work in her favour. Or maybe they'll be looking for more guys, in which case, you and Ryan will have better chances."
Troy snorted . "This whole thing with me being included is a joke. I wish I knew which one of those dickheads sent in an application for me."
"Maybe you should be thankful," Kelsi mused. "It's such a great opportunity – and I know how much you love it. You don't need to say it for it to be glaringly obviously."
He ducked his head – internally noting the similarity in Kelsi's words to those that Gabriella had spoken just a month or so earlier when they'd just commenced their rehearsals for Senior Year.
"What are you gonna do if you don't get the Juilliard scholarship?" Troy asked, avoiding responding. He was becoming the king of avoidance.
"Cry," Kelsi said wryly, before adding more seriously, "I got into Columbia. Did I tell you that?"
"No, actually, you didn't. Kels, that's incredible!" Troy exclaimed. "Columbia is awesome. Isn't it?"
"Yeah, it really is. They also have this program where you can take some classes at Juilliard in conjunction with their program. So... I guess that's my backup."
"Pretty awesome backup you've got there," Troy remarked. "Must be nice to have it all figured out."
She couldn't help but observe the whimsical tone he spoke in. She was just about to press him to open up, but they were interrupted by the warning bell signalling the end of lunch, and she sighed.
"Guess that's it. No more freedom."
He gathered up her sheet music for her while she packed away a few other things into her bag.
"See you after school at rehearsal?" Troy said.
She nodded. "Of course. Looking forward to it."
He didn't know just how much she was looking forward to it.
The almost-every-morning in the music room became every morning, without fail. At rehearsals, Troy would stick closely by Kelsi's side, even beside her at the piano if he wasn't required elsewhere. There was no commentary, no explanation – it simply became a natural part of their friendship. In the past, the only occasions they'd spend time together outside of school hours would be in a group social setting, or with a rehearsal as the setting. Kelsi had to repress her surprised expression when one day, Troy asked her to come over to his house on Saturday morning to help out with some homework he was behind with.
Kelsi wasn't really a girly girl, even when she and Jason had been dating she'd never put too much thought into what she'd wear on their dates. Shopping for prom dresses with Martha, Taylor and Gabriella had been a surreal experience for her – none of their group were exactly fashionista's and yet she felt miles behind. However as she dressed for her morning at Troy Bolton's house, she couldn't deny taking an extra ten minutes on her appearance. A quick swipe of mascara, an extra application of lip gloss, and a contemplation of which top she should wear rather than throwing on whatever her hands touched first. Subconsciously she reached into the back of her underwear drawer, pulling out a nicer pair which was usually saved for family events and opening nights of musicals. She frowned at herself, it hadn't even been a conscious decision.
When she arrived at his house, she found him in the driveway with a hose and his truck; the run-off of soap on the ground indicated he was just finishing up washing it.
"Hoops-man, I don't think all the washing in the world is going to get the rust off the old thing," she teased.
He smirked at her, and rolled his eyes. "Dad's been grilling my ass about it. Says that I should have a little pride in her, we put all this effort into keeping her running and so might as well keep her clean."
"Need a hand?" she asked.
He shook his head. "Nah, just about finished. Give me five minutes."
"I'm surprised to see you awake. I pictured you being the type to sleep in on Saturdays."
"Normally I am, but I've been having trouble sleeping."
He made the statement off-handedly, but it was loaded , his tone tense.
"I thought you might be up late, on the phone, you know?" Kelsi said tentatively.
Troy was silent, suddenly focused intently upon directing the spray of the hose onto the roof of his truck, making sure that invisible flecks of soap had been rinsed away. He finally spoke, not looking at her.
"Her first week gone, I was up late most nights, talking or texting. It became mostly IM-ing this week, she's been busy with school. The last couple of nights she's online but… not? You know? More silence between the messages, taking longer to reply."
Kelsi was silent as Troy walked over to the side of the house to turn off the hose. By the time he turned to walk back toward her, his usual Troy smile was plastered back onto his face. He added brightly, "I know she's busy with school so it's cool."
Kelsi paused, before commenting quietly, "You don't have to pretend with me, Troy, you know?"
He sighed, scratched the back of his head, and then responded genuinely. "I know, Kels. But… it's easier for me to pretend. Okay?"
She understood, and nodded. "Okay."
He took her elbow in his, leading her toward his front door. "Come on. Let's go try to make sense of my history report. And my math homework. And my English essay."
She laughed. "How long have you got?"
"For you, Playmaker? All day."
She'd only been home from school for an hour, they were having an afternoon off rehearsal – Ms. Darbus insisted that there was a line between being prepared and over-rehearsing. She was in the kitchen preparing a snack when the doorbell rang. She pursed her lips, and headed to open the front door and her eyes immediately widened at the sight in front of her. Troy was on her doorstep. She'd spent a lot of time with Troy over the last month, and since Twinkle Towne had gotten to know him pretty well. She'd seen him wrecked after losing basketball games, she'd seen him when he'd had a fight with Gabriella, she'd seem him after he flunked a math quiz and was too scared to tell his father since he'd be on probation for basketball. His appearance and demeanour that afternoon was beyond anything she'd seen. His eyes were a little red, giving the appearance that he'd been crying. His body was shaking slightly, he clutched his keys in his hand forming a fist so tight that his normally tanned hand was white.
"Troy?" she said questioningly.
He swallowed. "Um... sorry for not asking first if I can come over," he said, voice hoarse.
She waved her hand at him. "It's fine. Come in, come in. What happened? Are you okay?"
Troy followed her into the house. He had never actually been inside of Kelsi's house before – only to the outside a handful of times. It was nice – a simple, one level, very typical Albuquerque style home. He could hear the sounds of a video game coming from the lounge room – Call of Duty if he wasn't mistaken.
"Um, my little brother is in the living room. Do you want to talk in my room?" she suggested.
Troy numbly nodded and followed Kelsi down the corridor to the very end to where her room was on the right. He'd never really contemplated what Kelsi's room would look like, but as he glanced around numbly, it was a perfect match, with hundreds of CDs on display, posters of her favourite bands and musicians, a guitar propped up in the corner and instead of school books, there was a keyboard on the desk. It was fairly neat, only a few stray items of clothing tossed on the carpet. He perched on her bed, and she took his hands in her own, squeezing them comfortingly.
"What happened?" she once again repeated.
"Gabriella's not coming back for prom," he said, voice a little blank. "Um... I talked to her. She... um... I'm not sure what happened. She... I don't think she's gonna come back to Albuquerque at all."
"Not even for graduation?" Kelsi said, eyes wide in shock.
Troy shrugged. "Apparently it's too hard for her. Too hard to keep saying goodbye... too hard to keep fighting for us."
Kelsi was flabbergasted. There was no other word for it. All feelings she harboured aside, Troy and Gabriella were the IT couple. The couple who were supposed to find a way to make it work. The couple who would stay together and come back to their ten year reunion and show off photographs of their house with the white picket fence and 2 perfect kids. Her last conversation with Gabriella about Troy, she'd been told that Troy had prepared a romantic picnic and he'd seductively fed her chocolate covered strawberries and if her mom hadn't been home, she would've been tempted to take their relationship a step further along the road of steps they'd already taken.
"Fuck, Kels I don't know what I'm gonna do..." Troy said, his voice choking up a little.
"Troy, are you drunk?"
"I had a few shots," he confessed. "Not drunk... just... kind of numb. Don't know if that's the alcohol though that's making me feel that way."
"Did you drive here?"
He shook his head. "No. I ran."
"Okay um… stay here. I'll be right back."
She darted into the kitchen, retrieving a couple of glasses and a jug of water from the fridge.
"Was that a boy? Do you have a boy in your room? I'm so gonna tell mom and dad," her brothers teasing came from the living room.
"Shut up. You won't tell them anything, otherwise I'll tell them you were playing games instead of doing your homework," she snapped back.
No retort came in reply.
She returned back to her room. Troy had remained unmoved, sitting on the edge of her bed, head in his hands. She set down the glasses and jug on her desk and poured him a glass.
"Drink some water," she insisted.
He mindlessly took the glass from her and obeyed the instruction, downing half a glass in one swift series of gulps. He paused momentarily and then drank the remainder of the glass.
He glanced at her, watching her as she watched him with concern. "Thanks for being here," Troy murmured.
"I'm always here for you. You know that."
"I do. You… I've always got you. Fuck… Chad says we're like brothers but then he says some fucking ridiculous shit sometimes. He's always quick to bail on me. Like summer… and the talent show… but you. You Kelsi… you're a constant."
She felt herself blushing, she wasn't obtuse as to the tone which had come about his voice, although she was feeling a little perplexed as to its origin. He reached over, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.
"You're so pretty," he murmured. "Have I told you how gorgeous you look at rehearsals? You look amazing. We all talk about how hot you look."
"Um, thanks?" she managed to say, blushing even harder.
"Don't blush. You should be proud. It's like you've got no idea how amazing you are, which makes you even more amazing."
She felt him shift a little closer toward her, sliding over on the bed, narrowing the gap between them. She drew in a breath at the close proximity of his body to hers, shuddered a little as his hand rested on her back, bit her lower lip as he tiled her face to face his.
"Kelsi," he murmured, leaning in toward her, breath tickling against her lips. "Am I… Am I totally out of line?"
He didn't wait for her answer and instead softly, delicately, pressed his lips to hers. She couldn't help but respond, all intellectual thought process was drifting away with the warm lips of Troy pressing against hers. She'd thought about this moment for longer than she would admit, thought about how it would feel to have his hands holding her body tightly, to feel his nose nudging against hers, his tongue swooping in and lightly, sweetly, making contact with her own. She was responding and she was responding positively – clutching onto his arms, the arms she so adored with the muscles so firm, feeling his back, slightly damp with sweat from his run over to her house. The kisses started out sweet but it wasn't long before they were more insistent, more desperate – for Troy it was an outpouring of every emotion he was feeling in that moment; for Kelsi it was about every feeling she'd been repressing. She wasn't even thinking, this was more intense of an encounter than she'd had with any other boy but it wasn't about the step that was being taken, it was only about him, it was about this boy whom she'd adored for longer than he or anyone would realise. She didn't realise immediately that the fly of her jeans was being pulled down, but when she felt his hand press against her panties, it occurred to her briefly that she was wearing a dingy pale blue pair that day and she wished she'd been wearing something cuter. She kissed him furiously, kissed him with a fervour, and as his fingers began to lightly rub against her increasingly damp panties she felt herself moaning into the kiss, clutching even tighter against his body.
"Fuck, Kelsi," Troy groaned breathily, the first words that had been spoken since the encounter had commenced. They cut through the air, and as his fingers slipped beneath her panties and found their way to dip into her womanhood and penetrate inside of her, it was a sudden slap of reality. This was Troy. Troy Bolton was kissing her. TroyBolton's index finger had snaked its way inside of her where only her own hand and a tampon had been before.
"Troy…" her tone was half a moan, half questioning.
"So warm, so tight," he murmured.
"Troy… you need to… we need to…" she gasped, and somehow yanked his hand away from her.
She was flushed, hair mussed up, eyes glazed. His lips curved into a smile as he examined her. He reached out with his left hand, taking her hand in his and rubbing the back of her palm with his thumb.
"Too fast?" he murmured.
She stared back at him. The whole room felt like it was spinning out of control. Nothing in what had happened made any sense. How could something feel simultaneously so incredibly right, and also so incredibly wrong.
"Did you and Gabriella actually break up?"
One name being mentioned, being put back into the universe, and it was as though the air around them thickened.
"I don't really know," he confessed, eyes cast down at their connected fingers. "She wasn't clear. And then she wouldn't take any of my calls."
"I… I like you, Troy," Kelsi confessed, cheeks flushing. He grinned at how adorable she appeared as she spoke those words. The grin quickly left as she continued. "But I can't do this unless you and Gabriella have broken up. It isn't right. You're my friend, and so is she and... and we can't be doing this unless we're doing it the right way."
Troy was quiet. Kelsi shifted into kneeling position, clutching onto his left hand, observing as his expression clouded, thoughts running rampant.
"You're right. I should talk to Gabriella," he murmured.
She nodded. "I know I'm right. It's the right thing to do."
He squeezed her hand, thumb rubbing over her soft skin. "What would I do without you, Kels? Somehow you just always get what the best thing is to do."
She ducked her head, blushing at his praise. "This is important. Too important to mess up with a rash decision. You know?"
He nodded, once again squeezing her hand. He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. "I know."
"Troy?"
"Yeah?"
"About prom..." Kelsi said hesitantly. "I'm meant to be going with Ryan. Remember?"
Troy was quiet for a moment, before resp. "Go to prom with Ryan. You'll have an amazing time. And I'll talk to Gabriella."
"And you'll let me know what happens?"
"Of course I will."
Kelsi stood by the punch table in her perfect dress, feeling like a Princess. Ryan had been nothing but charming and the perfect companion since picking her up at 8pm on the dot. But she couldn't help but feel a pang in her chest, a pang because the elation she should be experiencing was mixed. She was here on a date with an amazing guy who she had a beautiful friendship with that had potential to blossom into more; but her mind was somewhere else. She spotted Chad across the room with Taylor, the pair having just arrived, and she lit up.
"I'll be right back, guys," she said to Ryan, Martha and Jason; and immediately headed over to greet the duo.
"Kelsi!" Chad exclaimed, eyes wide. He'd seen her in costume for their number A Night to Remember but somehow the reality of Kelsi dressed up at prom had even more of an impact.
Kelsi exchanged the compulsory hugs and greetings with both of them, before turning to what the most important matter was.
"Chad, do you know where Troy is?" Kelsi asked, an urgency to her tone.
Chad's eyes widened, head cocking to the side. "Um... didn't you hear?"
"Didn't I hear what?"
"Troy is in California. He left Albuquerque last night and drove there."
Kelsi gaped. "What?"
"You seriously didn't hear? Something about 'taking prom to Gabriella," Chad said, making quotation marks with his fingers. "I'm not sure what that means exactly, but I bet they're finally gonna do it."
"Chad!" Taylor exclaimed, thwacking him on the arm.
All that Kelsi could do was try to hide the stricken look on her face, to quash the waves of shock and betrayal deep inside.
"That's great," she choked out. "I hope they'll be really happy together."
She fled.
Putting on a brave face was difficult. Around her people were exclaiming about how wonderful it was that Troy had convinced Gabriella to return for the show, how happy the pair appeared to be together, how wonderful their performance had been. Meanwhile Kelsi felt so numb inside that even the news that she had received the Juilliard scholarship wasn't quite enough to make the smile on her face entirely genuine.
As her friends, peers, teachers and their families stood in the foyer of the auditorium enjoying one another's company and celebrating the success of the show, Kelsi found herself slipping out the side door into the night air. It was peaceful, no noise. Just the way she liked it.
It didn't take long before her quiet space was infiltrated, an infiltration which a week ago would've been welcome but now, she wasn't so sure. He sat beside her on the bench, joining wordlessly, not feeling the need to seek permission.
"Congratulations, Playmaker. You did it."
She stared, trying to fixate on the tree that was a few feet away, needing to focus anywhere but upon him.
"I always thought Ryan would get the scholarship," she commented.
"I didn't meant the scholarship. I just meant the show. It pulled together. Just how you said it would. Though, the scholarship is pretty kick-ass too."
She couldn't handle it. She couldn't handle the false pretence of the conversation. She couldn't handle the pink elephant. Kelsi was sick of being quiet, she was sick of repressing.
"Troy, you might find it easier to live in a pretend world where you ignore things that have happened, but I find it disrespectful."
He pursed his lips, and asked, "Are you gonna tell her?"
It was at that precise moment hat Kelsi realised that she was living a complete delusion. Even at prom when she'd heard that Troy had run to California, she'd retained a sliver of hope. Even when the pair had arrived hand in hand at the show, faces aglow, she'd kept herself together with the faintest glimmer of possibility that she was reading things the wrong way. But now, she knew.
"What do you mean, am I going to tell her? Am I going to tell her what? There's nothing to tell. Nothing of any importance happened." Her tone was harsh, cold.
Troy's expression fell; crushed. "Don't even say that," he murmured.
"It's the truth. It's okay Troy, don't worry. You and I are friends. I get it."
"We are friends," he insisted. "Kels, you... you've been everything to me these past weeks. I couldn't have gotten through it without you..."
"Yes I know, I'm always around, you can count on me, that's me, ever dependable. That's great."
Troy wasn't stranger to a girl having feelings for him and having to say no. What he wasn't accustomed to was saying no to one of his best friends. And what he was even less accustomed to was saying no when deep down, a part of him wanted to say yes.
"Please do not think that you, that us, has no meaning. But I made a commitment to her and she and I have been through too much for me to not give it a go."
"I'm sure that Berkeley is a wonderful college and you're going to do some really fantastic things there."
"You're angry."
It was a statement, not a question.
"I'm fine."
"Kelsi, you told me to talk to her, to find out if we'd actually broken up."
Kelsi gaped at him. Yes, she had, that certainly was the truth. But the hope behind it had been that he would be able to come back to her with the knowledge that he was actually available to pursue whatever it was that they'd experienced three days earlier. It began to dawn on Kelsi how naive she'd been to have thought for even a moment that Troy would actually pursue something with her.
"I did. You're right." Kelsi rubbed at her temples. "I've been stupid. I actually thought..."
She couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence, trailing off.
"If things were different..." Troy said, before trailing off himself. The words seemed hollow, although they were entirely genuine.
"But they're not."
They sat in silence. Troy leaned back against the wall, head tilting up, eyes closed tightly. Kelsi stood up, taking a few steps away back toward the auditorium, before turning to face him again.
"No, Troy, I'm not going to tell her. But you should. Less than a week ago you had your fingers inside of me. And if you're willing to chase her to California and go to Berkeley for her, you shouldn't be doing it with false pretences. Trust me, false pretences always blow up in your face."
Kelsi sat proudly in her red and white graduation robe. They'd made it. She sat surrounded by her closest friends, friends who a couple of years earlier she had never really thought she would have in her life. In a couple of months she'd be packing her bags and heading off to New York City while the rest of the group dispersed around the country. It had been nice while it lasted.
Troy Bolton stood on stage, in his typical Troy Bolton self winning over the hearts of all those present with his charming smile and heartfelt words. He wasn't afraid to make eye contact with his peers and teachers, eyes forming a solid gaze and zeroing in to make eye contact with different people. Kelsi couldn't help but experience a reaction when his eyes met with hers, when his lips curved into a smile. She couldn't help but swallow, but feel her heart begin to race. It was the Troy Bolton affect.
He was headed to California and she to New York City. Deep down, she knew that nothing could come of it. She knew that he was so enthralled with Gabriella and that she had been a minor blip on his radar, a moment of distraction, someone there in a moment where he needed comfort She was a bright girl, and intellectually she knew that.
But the Troy Bolton affect wasn't something easily shaken, it wasn't a feeling you could brush away like a speck of dirt on your pants. Just as she'd be there for him, reliable, dependable, able to be counted on at any given time of day or night; he would remain with her, a mark on her heart. For there had been a brief window of time where she'd felt like she could be something more, and that moment was one she'd carry with her forever.
Through every up through every down
You know I'll always be around
Through anything you can count on me.
All I wanna do is be with you
There's nothing I can do, just wanna be with you, only you...