A/N: The product of staying up until 3AM with my friend Emily. Any overly 'weird' or 'bodacious' parts in this fanfiction are solely blamed on her. Especially the bits about Priuses and Republicans. And genital jokes. This story is not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy! XD
God damn he was hungry. Three hours on the trip without a single bite to eat. He didn't know this area too well since he didn't pass through it often, but he did know the number for a decent pizza joint nearby. Not that he even remembered where it was located, since the info was passed on to him from Demyx. That guy was so obnoxious. But he had a nice ass, so oh well. Axel lifted his pink cellphone ( it was a birthday gift from Reno and he just didn't have the heart to throw it away ) and dialed the pizza number.
"Hey. I want a large everything pizza delivered to Pennis Street. Big truck with a fat ass chocobo on it, you can't miss it."
"Uh… sure.. The pizza'll be ready in twen—"
"I want it in ten. I'll pay the extra, just get it done."
"B—"
"No."
"Right…It'll be there in twenty."
Bah. No one ever listened anymore, even if he wasl oaded with cash. Not his loss, anyway. Axel reclined against his seat and pulled his hat down over his eyes.
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It wasn't pleasant waking up about half an hour later to someone banging on the side of his door and waking him up from his nap. Axel let out a grumble underneath and swung his door open, nearly hitting his uninvited visitor as he did.
"Fuck, man! I'm only here to deliver your pizza."
Geez, that was a snotty sounding—Hellooo. "Sorry 'bout that, door needs to be greased and I haven't had the time to fix that," Axel lied, gazing hungrily at the blonde standing in front of him.
Roxas let out a snort but seemed to let it go. "Twenty-five bucks, including my tip."
"Oh, fiesty aren't you."
"…uh.."
Axel grinned. Oh yes. He liked that blush. Axel turned to dig around for his wallet, pulling out a wrinkled bill or two and handing it in Roxas's direction. Once he was handed the box, Axel eagerly lifted the lid, only for his face to fall when he saw that it was the plainest fucking cheese pizza he'd ever seen in his life.
"What is this?!"
"…a pizza?" Roxas was staring at him funny.
"No, I ordered an everything pizza! This is a cheese pizza!"
"Yeah, well, I'm just the delivery boy."
"I demand compensation!"
"Have a nice day."
"But it's night time!"
Roxas was considering to change to the cashier shift. Sure, there was less pay, but he wouldn't have to deal with weirdos like this. Even if they were attractive…
"I'll see you again, right?!"
Why the hell was he still talking? Roxas had gotten in his car by this point and was starting to drive away.
Axel let out a grumpy sigh and slid his hand over his inner thigh. Man, when was the last time he got laid? Whatever. He had pizza. Cheese pizza, but it was still pizza. Shutting the door, Axel resigned himself to the pathetic excuse for dinner and started to wolf down his food.
He was going to be in the area for a while as far as he knew since his shipment was coming in late. Man, the guy who ran this joint was a total kook. Cid Highwind. That guy could out chainsmoke Reno and probably outcurse him too. And who the hell made cash off delivering milk using semi-trucks anyway?
The next milk cargo wouldn't arrive until tomorrow night ev en, so Axel had no idea what he'd do with himself until then. He had no … friends with benefits in the area. Maybe he could blow some cash off at an arcade.
Axel burped and looked perturbed for a moment before setting the empty pizza box on the passenger seat and climbing out of his chair to go to the back. "Ugh, I don't get paid enough to sleep on this sorry excuse for a bed."
The entirety of his day was spent playing House of the Dead. That game really pissed him off. But he played it anyway, if only because he wanted to beat whatever douchebag had decided to beat his highscore last time he was here. Douchebag. Eventually though, hunger called him away from his self-appointed task and Axel walked out in search of something to eat.
If he remembered correctly, there was a McDonald's not too far off from the arcade that couldn't have been more of a five minute drive. He wasn't much of a fan of the Big Macs, but those ketchup packets were … Axel frowned and cut off that thought. No. Just … He was going to be dignified about this.
Of course, if there was one thing he liked about driving a truck, it was scaring the shit out of people who drove obnoxious Prius cars by making wide-turns that nearly squashed them into the curb. The drive to McDonald's was sorely lacking in Prius cars, which did sadden him a little.
He'd just started to back into the parking lot – whose idea was it for trucks to make that stupid 'BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP' noise anyway? It even pissed him off and he loved his truck more than his mother – but his mental tangent was cut off when someone let out an outraged yell. Oh. Some dumbass must have decided to ignore the obnoxious 'BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP' while he was backing up.
"You fucking dipshi—oh hell."
Well, his day just kept getting better and better, didn't it? Axel leaned out of his window with a smirk. Hmm, he did like a guy in uniform, even ifit was a tacky ketcheup/mustard coloured one. Especially on hot little blondes. "Oh, hey. If it isn't my favourite delivery boy. You work here too?"
Roxas had to wonder if this guy didn't realize that he'd nearly run him over and resisted the temptation to tear at his hair. "Yes. My shift just ended." Thank god. Maybe then he wouldn't have to deal with this guy. Was he a stalker or what? That was just disturbing.
Axel's face fell slightly, but he brightened up again. "Oh? On your way home?"
Roxas tried not to cringe. "Yes…"
"Then how 'bou t I give you a lift? Pretty boys like you shouldn't be walking around at night by themselves," Axel offered, giving the blonde a tip of his hat. Suddenly he wasn't quite so hungry anymore.
Roxas didn't respond right away, his attention momentarily captured by the Organization tattoo on Axel's arm as it flexed. "Oh, well, then you should be looking out for yourself then, shouldn't you?" the blonde asked.
Axel's brows rose. "Is that a compliment I hear?"
"What? No! No."
"Tell you what… Let me give you a ride home and we can pretend I never heard that." Axel winked at him.
"I don't even know you."
Hm… Axel looked him over again, his gaze resting on the simple nametag that read 'Roxas'. "Well, I know you. Roxas. That's a cute name."
Roxas's eyes shot down to the front of his shirt and he ripped off the tag defensively. "How do I know you're not trying anything funny?"
Axel rolled his eyes. "Do I really look like the type of guy who gets off on abducting McDonald employees off the street?"
"Yes, you do."
"… Point taken."
"You're blocking the way into the parking lot by the way."
"Yeah, well, those people can go fuck themselves. Especially if they're driving Priuses. I hate Priuses."
Roxas cleared his throat and glanced to the side. He drove a Prius …
"Anyway, you gonna get in or what? I don't got all night, kid."
Ugh, this guy did not take a fucking hint even if it slapped him in the face. "Will you shut up if I do?"
"I might … but you get this adorable crease in your forehead when you get upset."
Instead of replying, Roxas let out a sigh and went over to the other side of the truck to get inside. Except … He frowned and stared at the pizza box sitting in the passenger seat. Really? Really?
"Oh. Forgot about that." Axel snatched the box off the seat and tossed it somewhere out his window. Let the city council deal with it. Fucking Republicans. Name's Axel, by the way."
Roxas grimaced and sat himself down where the pizza box had once been. "Axel, cool, great. Can we go now?"
Axel let out a chuckle and drove back out into the street. Oh, if lady luck felt generous tonight he'd get some. "So, where do you live?"
"Veggina Boulevard; just go down this street and make a right down on Pennis Street."
Axel stared at Roxas for about twenty seconds before opening his mouth, "Did you just say vagi—"
"Veggina."
"Right. Right." Yeah. He really needed to get laid. Axel followed the direction Roxas had given him, slowing down once they were on the correct street. "Which one is it?"
Roxas peered out of the window. "It's … that apartment right there that says Highwind on it."
What the fuck? This Cid guy practically owned everything. He probably owned McDonald's too, the bastard.
Nodding, Axel pulled to the side and paused briefly, his expression going blank as he looked at the car parked in front of them. No. Fucking. Way. The redhead squinted to read the text that was pasted on the bumper of the ugliest car model in existence. 'Proud to be Republican.' He hated Priuses and Republicans. So much.
Axel slammed his foot down on the gas pedal and rammed the back of the car. Roxas beside him let out a yelp of surprise.
"Are you insa—MY TV!"
Axel was reveling in the destruction of the product of Satan, though the bit about Roxas's TV did pull his attention away from it to follow Roxas's line of sight. Hey, he'd recognize those dreadlocks and sideburns anywhere…
"He's taking my TV!"
"Yeeeah, driving away now…"
"My TV!" Roxas let out a supressed whimper and then a choked sob when the thief tripped on the garden hose and nearly dropped his TV.
Jesus Christ, Xaldin wouldn't know how to rob Santa Claus even if the damn guy had a bag of presents had a sign taped to it that said 'Free!' .
Axel cleared his throat and wheeled away from the apartment. Roxas let out another whimper beside him. Poor kid. "Um.. I figured it's already obvious, but it's probably not too safe to go back to your apartment." He drove down a few blocks and parked the truck.
They'd been sitting in the dark for a few minutes before Roxas broke the silence."Is it alright if I spend the night with you?" the blonde asked suddenly, looking over at Axel.
"Sure! Stay as long as you'd like. I don't mind a li—Spend the night?" Axel's attention snapped over to Roxas. Oh yes. Penis time. [ A/N: 'Penis time' is Emily's fault. ]
"..Yes." Yeah, he knew that had been pretty bold on his part. He also was acutely aware of the multiple times Axel had mentally undressed him while they'd been talking throughout the entire night. And to be frank, he wasn't totally objected to that attention. Gods, he really needed to get laid.
"Alright then. I got a bed in the back that you can take," Axel smiled, cutting the engine and letting out a brief groan as he stretched out his arms. His hands traveled down to his waist, curling around the hem of his shirt before lifting it over his head. Bundling the shirt up, Axel yawned and slid leisurely off his seat and made his way to the back of the truck.
Roxas blinked slowly and licked his lips. Yeah. Really, really needed to get laid if he was getting turned on by someone like that. He gave a little jump when Axel peered over the side of his seat.
"Hey, you comin'?"
"Y-yeah, sorry. Got sidetracked," Roxas responded quickly, rising from his seat and following Axel to the back of the truck. Unfortunately, he didn't know the … environment nearly so well as Axel did and ended up slipping on an old discarded banana peel lying on the floor of the truck. The blonde landed with an 'oomf' on top of Axel, who let out a grunt as they both fell onto the floor.
There was a brief moment of awkward silence where they just looked at each other until Axel suddenly pulled the blonde down and claimed his lips. The next few moments were a heady rush. Roxas let out a quiet moan, allowing the redhead's tongue to slip past his lips when they parted to tangle with his own.
Axel purred, flipping their positions and pinning Roxas firmly against the floor as he plundered the boy's mouth with his tongue. His hands traveled southward, slipping up underneath Roxas's shirt and sliding over the other male's finely muscled stomach. Roxas squirmed beneath him—and Axel let out a short growl as he teased one of the blonde's nipples between his fingers, earning himself a pleasured moan as Roxas arched his back up off the floor.
Wanting to hear more of that sound, Axel's other hand moved to fumble with Roxas's belt to undo his pants. That was when Roxas first offered resistance, however, that was quickly quelled by Axel's hand slipping past the waistband of the blonde's boxers to wrap firmly around his growing arousal.
"Oh..somebody's excited," Axel hummed, pumping Roxas slowly in his hand. The blonde let out a moan in response, his hips pushing up into Axel's hand.
"F…fuck you," Roxas panted, pushing himself up a little bit on his elbows to glare at Axel.
"Is that an offer?" Axel laughed, moving his hand faster and pressing the pad of his thumb over the head of Roxas's cock with a smirk.
Had the blonde had enough blood going to his brain rather than his dick, he probably would have mustered some biting reply. Instead he could only push back more insistantly into Axel's hand.
"I guess that's a yes," Axel mused, withdrawing his hand and lowering his head down between the blonde's thighs to take his erection into his mouth.
Roxas grew very vocal at that—and Axel let out a pleased hum as he dragged his tongue along the underside of the blonde's arousal before taking it back into his mouth again and bobbing his head up and down.
Axel did not, however, plan on bringing Roxas to a climax just yet. Just before the other male reached his peak, he withdrew and closed his hand firmly around the base of Roxas's cock—just to be certain. The blonde beneath him let out a whimper and Axel hushed him by leaning down for a kiss.
"Don't freak out just yet, beautiful… The best is yet to come."
"Th-that's the .. worse pun .. I've ever heard… in my life," Roxas panted, his cheeks a rosy pink from their exertions.
"I try," Axel shrugged, pushing Roxas's boxers down to his ankles so that he could spread the boy's thighs apart. He paused only briefly to moisten his fingers in his mouth before circling a single digit around Roxas's entrance, who squirmed uncomfortably as the finger pushed up against him.
"Relax, babe. Ain't gonna hurt if I can help it." To distract him, Axel wrapped his hand around the blonde's erection again as he pushed in the first finger. He didn't meet too much resistance, which was pleasant. "I'm guessing you've done this before?" the redhead queried, moving his hand slowly up and down while he worked a second finger inside Roxas with his other hand.
"None of your g-goddamn business," Roxas replied, his brows knit with concentration as Axel scissored his fingers inside him.
"My, my. Quite a mouth on you. I'm sure there's better things you could be doing with it," Axel teased, purposly aiming upwards to stroke the blonde's prostate.
Roxas was rendered unable to reply, and what Axel got instead was the sexiest moan he'd ever heard in his life ( and he'd heard a lot, for certain ). Ohh, he was going to enjoy this. Pulling off Roxas's boxers completely, Axel lifted the boy's legs up over his shoulders and positioned himself to push inside the blonde's tight warmth with a groan.
Axel waited several agonizing moments for the blonde to adjust before slowly building a pace, pulling out and then pushing back in until he could move smoothly in and out.
"Faster, I'm not gonna break," Roxas hissed impatiently while Axel was still taking his damn sweet time.
The red head arched a brow, though he was grinning nonetheless. "Yes, sir."
Outside, Xaldin ran by with Roxas's stolen TV, though he did give pause when a particularly loud scream of "Fuck me harder, Axel. Fuck yes!" reverberated from inside of the large semi with a fat chocobo emblazoned on the side.
"Wooooah, man. That's trippy," Xaldin muttered, staring at the truck before dashing off.