A/N: So! You've ignored my warning and decided to click on the link to this story! You are either stupid or the person this fic is for. Let me remind you. This fanfiction is one of those include characters that aren't related to Harry Potter, poorly written weird parody fics that I usually stop reading the first paragraph. It has pretty much no relation to Harry Potter what so ever. I needed a fandom to post it under. But alas! I have written this include characters that aren't related to Harry Potter, poorly written weird parody fic as a crappy birthday present! Aren't I the greatest friend ever?
Aleisha, you are the most spectacular, wonderful human with a beautiful soul and a heart of gold to have ever lived. This shitty one shot fic is for you.
Warning: Characters include Aleisha Pearle, Ben Murnell, Fairy-Uber-Fabulous-Unrelated-Aunt Micah, Trudie Pearle, Tom Felton, Emma Waston, Daniel Radcliffe, Nick Grimshaw, Harry Styles, Alexander Skarsgard, Anna Papquin, Emily Deschanel, Zooey Deschanel, David Borenaz and more. Run while you still can.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Weird things tend to happen to Aleisha Pearle. Especially since her fairy-uber-fabulous-unrelated-aunt, Micah, is seriously weird. Like dress up like a calculator and run around screaming 'SYNTAX ERROR!' weird. Micah likes to throw over the top parties, and she goes extra crazy when it comes to Aleisha's birthday. Which is tomorrow. Same day as her math test.
Micah's parties sometimes got embarrassing. Like last year, for Aleisha's 14th, she invited all Aleisha's friends over and filled Aleisha's backyard with unicorns. Which is cool, but a little crazy.
Anyway, Micah has planned this massive all out huge surprise for Aleisha this year. She got Ben Murnell, her best friend and close advisor, and Trudie Pearle, Aleisha's older sister, to distract Aleisha. It started at 8.30, when the roll call bell rang...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY
(Aleisha's POV)
Ben's being weird. He keeps smiling at me like he knows something. This is getting irritating. Larissa, my best friend, just told me that the math test was postponed for a week as Mr Swinery, who's phone is always ringing and has that 'Sway With Me' song as it's ringtone so it always sounds like he has his own personal theme song, was away for some unknown reason. I suspect Micah is behind this.
It's recess and he keeps smiling at me! I started getting creeped out. What is that crazy fairy doing this year? I decided to go on Tumblr. I unlocked my phone and sighed at my background. It was a photo of Draco Malfoy. Why must he be so perfect? He and Harry belong together. I clicked the Tumblr app and was shocked to see that Alexander Skarsgard was in Australia! But no one knew where. That should have been the first clue. But instead I sobbed over a picture of him. Attractive, No?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY
(Micah's POV)
I am awesome. No point denying it. And modest too! I really have outdone myself this year. I have it all planned out. Trudie is going to distract her little sister by taking her shopping and it all will start as soon as they make it to Myer. I hope Harry Styles is comfortable in the change room he's hiding in. And I hope that Trudie remembers which one he's in. After Aleisha meets Harry, both Trudie and Harry will take her out for a cup of tea where Nick Grimshaw will be waiting. Hopefully, if she's still alive, from there the little group will go a quiet park, where Anna Papquin will be waiting on the swings. A limo will pick them up and take them to the Henrith train station, where the limo will pick up three people, all wearing scarves and such covering their hair and faces. They won't speak. Just sit there. Freaking Aleisha out. I'm so excited.
The fun begins.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY
(Trudie's POV)
Aleisha's so happy. But I keeped trying to get her to come to Myer with me. She's wasting time with all these other shops. She promised one more shop and then Myer but we were there for 30 mins. We had to meet Nick at 4.30! We were so going to be late.
We finally got to Myer and I convinced her to find something to try on and to find something that was 100% polyester, for no reason. I ran through the change rooms to check if Harry was ok in there. He told me to hurry up because he had to go to the bathroom. Classy. I convinced her to go into the change room Harry was in. Judging by the amount of people who came in to find out what was going on, the scream she let out was heard outside the store. Harry was having a hard time dealing with the sobbing teenager, who was screaming 'MY TUMBLR WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS!', and I had to help him pry her off him. We went for tea, Aleisha still sniffing and asking questions and demanding to know why he was so perfect, to which Harry stuttered at, not sure how to answer. It was going to get worse when we get to the cafe and park.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY
HARRY STYLES WAS IN MY CHANGE ROOM I WILL REMEMBER THIS FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE. I CAN'T GET OVER THIS. MICAH IS THE MOST AMAZING FAIRY AUNT EVER. But then it got better.
We walked into this tiny cafe. I was shocked that we managed to walk that far without anyone recognising Harry. I had a feeling a crazy magic lady was involved. And then I saw in the corner of the room, wearing a t-shirt that said 'My great-granddaddy was a pimp.', was Nick fucking Grimshaw. NICK FUCKING GRIMSHAW IS SITTING IN THE CAFE WE JUST WALKED INTO. Harry went over to greet him and waved at us to join them. Trudie was grinning so hard. I don't know what happened from there as it was a mess of tears, hugs and food. Nick decided take us to a local park and told us to leave our bags there because they will be collected. I protested but stopped when both Harry and Nick kissed my cheek and wished me Happy Birthday.
We rode to the park on bikes. It was utterly beautiful. The sun was beginning to set and the sky was splashed with too many colours to count. We followed a path to a swing set which a woman was sitting on, swinging quietly and looking around like she was looking for someone. Nick called out 'Hey Anna!'
No. It couldn't be.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY
(Anna Papquin's POV)
She cried more than my babies have in a month.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY
(Aleisha's POV)
I'm sitting in a limo. This is a limo. My shopping bags are in the back. Good to know they're safe. But I think the weirdest part about this and all of today is the three ninjas sitting opposite me. Silently staring at me. My aunt's bizarre and severely creepy, but this is a whole new level. The Famous people and Trudie are acting like they can't see the ninjas. The third one, the big one with muscles, just made the 'I've got my eyes one you' sign. I'm scared.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY
(Micah's POV)
Aleisha showed up to the house, amazed and a little starstruck at the fact that she had met her idols. I lead them out to the backyard where her group of friends where waiting. I set up tables of food around under the trees, which had candles in coloured jars hanging from the branches, and placed a dance floor and stage in the middle. The remaining members of One Direction are singing "The Way You Look Tonight" later on. Everyone screamed out 'Surprise!' when she walked outside. She started crying again when Alexander Skarsgard handed her a rose and told her she looked beautiful. I think she nearly fainted when the ninjas took off their masks and she saw that they were Emily and Zooey Deschanel and David Borenaz. But I think the best bit was the pre-recorded Happy Birthday message from Tom Felton, Emma Watson and Daniel Radcliffe, done in character, were they sang Happy Birthday and Tom promised to come to Australia to meet her.
I caught up with her later that night. She gave me the biggest hug and asked how I did all this. 'Magic, dear. It was magic.' I replied.
'Thank you, Micah.' She whispered into my dress.
'Thank you, Aleisha. For being magic.'
Fin.