After all this time, all this time, I could finally hold this girl in my arms. I could kiss if I so pleased, and be with her as long as her heart desired me. I finally had everything I could ask for, and I was happier than I'd ever been. So, so happy. I could almost see it in the air around me. Her laugh is just so magical, it makes me...
I woke up at two am. It was dream. I let it slip through my fingers. I had to wake up. "Yuki..." All I ever wanted I could only have in my dreams. The pain from the thought led to another painful thought which was craving. One of the things I was craving was blood. I wanted it so badly, but I couldn't have it. I... I couldn't have what I really wanted. I would never be able to have her.
It's all his fault. I'm going insane. It's not just his fault, it's mine, too, for being a monster. A monster that needs to drink another's blood to live. I get up, get my bloody rose, and go for a walk. I don't even change into my clothes because I don't want to. Of course when I'm out for my walk I encounter Kaname. Just who I need right now.
"Kiryu, you do know that you're in your pajamas." "Shut up." "It's alway lovely to see you, Kiryu." "It's all you're fault Kuran!" I yelled, pulling the bloody rose on him. Kaname acted as if nothing happened and said, "I don't know what you are referring to." "Yuki! It's your fault, all you're fault!" Some small part of me tried to convince myself to come back to sanity but I was too far gone.
"Kiryu, I think you're delirious." "Shut up!" "Go back to your dorm." Before I could tell him not to tell me what to do, he turned and walked away. I kept walking. I rather have the action then let my mind wander to other things. But it did anyways. Blood and Yuki. Yuki, Yuki, Yuki. Her blood, blood, blood. Anger, passion, fury, rage, pain, hurt. I couldn't even understand what I was feeling anymore.
I made my way back to the boys dorm. I walked in an entire circle! For some reason the thought made me mad. I put my hand on the wall and tried to catch my breath. On my way here I vaguely recall my walk turning into a run. Then, suddenly, Yuki was right there in front of me. I must be hallucinating. She looked so beautiful, so perfect, I could almost reach out and touch her. I tried to touch her, and was startled when I actually could. She was real.
"Zero, what happened?" If only I could tell you. "Zero!" She yelled as I fell to grown, drowning in my own ragged breaths. I suddenly felt something very soft under my head. So, so soft. Almost like a pillow. No, but softer than a pillow. It felt like skin. I was laying on her lap.
"Zero!" She called my name, but my throat was so dry I couldn't answer. I had to try. "Yu...ki." I answered brokenly with a raspy voice. "Zero, you need to take my blood." "No." I said, some of the strength coming back to my voice. "Please." She said, crying. Why did she want me to take her blood so much? Didn't it hurt her? "Zero, please!" She cried.
It was so tempting I could no longer help it. But I was more tempted by her. I wanted her so badly. Maybe I could have what I wanted, only for a little bit. I put my hand in hers and struggled to sit up. Yuki helped me by putting an arm around my back to support me. I knew my lust for blood was now visible, as it probably was from the moment she arrived.
Then I got to do something I never thought I would do. I kissed her neck. Her skin tasted so good. I went on with this for what felt like days, but was probably only a minute. Oh, how I wish it were days. Then I licked her neck, like I always do before biting her...And then I bit her. I got lost in the smell in taste of her blood. But eventually I regained enough sense to stop myself. I was so messy this time, getting blood on her's and mine shirt.
"Zero, are you ok?" I couldn't find the strength to lie to her anymore. I couldn't say I was fine. "I'll help you back to your room." She said. She put her arm around my waist and helped me up. She helped to my room and to my bed. She was about to go when I said "Stay. Please." I meant to say it but it came out as barely a whisper. She came into bed next to me. I tried not to wrap my arms around here, but I didn't succeed. To my surprise Yuki didn't pull away. In the morning was when I regained my sanity.
I couldn't belive what I'd done. How could I be so stupid? How much Yuki's blood did I take last night? How was I going to handle myself with the blood that was still on our clothes? I got up and changed, then woke Yuki up. "Zero?" She looked confused, them remembered what happened.
"Are you feeling better?" "I'm fine." I could say it now. "Zero...last night..." "You should get changed. We have class soon and you still have blood on your clothes." "Stop pushing me out, Zero! Every time I get close to you, it's like you slam the door in my face. I don't need you to put on a mask and pretend your fine when I know you're not. I want to help you. Please, let me help you."
"Yuki..." Right then all I wanted and needed was to kiss her. "Are you ok, Zero?" She asked me. I couldn't lie to her. "No...but..." I couldn't belive I was being honest. "What is it?" She asked. I sat down next her on the bed. I put my hand on her cheek and turned her face toward me. "I don't deserve...all I ever wanted...I just want one..." "Zero, you're not making any sense. What are you trying to tell me?"
"Everything I need to be ok...is just..." I didn't go on for awhile. "You can tell me." She said, putting her hand on top of mine. "You." I said, then kissed her. She was shocked, she didn't move. I feared she wouldn't kiss me back. But then she did. She kissed me back.
I pulled back. "Yuki...I-" "Zero. I want to be with you." I kissed her again. Just after I did I pulled back. I had to tell her. "You're all I need to be ok." I wrapped my arms around her. "I need you too, Zero." I wanted to say it. I wanted to tell her so badly. But I don't think she was ready to say it yet. So I held back my words for another day. I could wait awhile longer. After all, this is more than I deserve. I could tell Yuki what I always wanted to tell her another time.
"I love you."