Guys,

Well, I've been thinking about this over the weekend, based on the current shows.

It's only a short one this time!! (Phew, I hear you say!!).

I know nothing about psychiatry, I probably can't even spell it…lol!!…but then again, it is only a story….

AJ. :-)

Chapter 1

Charlie turned up at Michaels for her latest appointment. This was her 6th. She'd had two, two hour appointments a week, for the past 3 weeks.

She felt that he was helping her. They'd talked about Grant, and Ruby, and Roman, and the two times she went out with Angelo.

They'd also spoken about her inability to commit to Angelo this time around, which eventually had lead her to seek out some help.

"So Charlie, your next relationship, the one between Angelo and Angelo." He smiled." Who was that with?"

Charlie blushed, something Michael had not seen before, when she'd talked about any of her former lovers. She cleared her throat.

"Erm. Joey. I went out with Joey."

"And what was he like?"

"Erm." Charlie squirmed. "She was…erm…erm…she was wonderful." She managed to get out.

She looked up to see Michaels expression. He remained expressionless. He kept his composure, nothing much shocked him in this job, and even if it did, he remained impartial and unemotional. It was not his job to pass judgement, it was his job to help his clients face their troubles, and help them through them.

Michael smiled, and said quietly. "Carry on."

"I'm in love....erm…I was in love with her." Charlie again looked at Michael, to gauge his reaction. Nothing.

"How did you meet her?" He asked.

Charlie slowly ran through the events of her brief, but wonderful, (until the end anyway), time with Joey.

"I first saw her in the surf club. She was working behind the bar. I couldn't take my eyes off her." Charlie smiled. "I didn't even realise why at the time. But I thought she was beautiful."

Charlie continued to talk about Joey, with deep love and affection. Michael could see it was obvious that Charlie still loved her.

She finished. "So I guess I hurt her so much, she couldn't forgive me, and she couldn't bear to come back to me. She must hate me so much." She sobbed.

"Do you hate yourself?"

"Yes." She replied sniffling.

"Do you forgive yourself, for sleeping with Hugo?"

"No. I'll never forgive myself for what I did."

"Why?"

"Because I ruined the best relationship, all be it the shortest, I'd ever had. I hurt someone that loved me. I hurt someone that I love. And that is the worst feeling in the World." She sobbed again.

"How did Joey react when you told her you'd been raped, and Ruby was your daughter?"

"I never told her. She doesn't know." Charlie said sadly.

"Why didn't you tell her?"

"Initially, I just wanted justice for her so badly. I didn't want my issues to cloud that."

"And after the initial period, why didn't you tell her then?"

"I almost did once. We were in bed." Charlie paused. She blushed and smiled, remembering the moment, Joey had quietly asked her about the scar over her tummy. Joey had run her index finger gently along the scar. It had tickled slightly, but been sensuous at the same time. "She asked me what it was. I chickened out, and I told her it was for some problem or another I had with my periods when I was younger."

"Why did you lie?"

"Because I didn't want her to think that I was with her because I felt sorry for her. Or because I was making her into my personal crusade, for not getting justice for myself."

"Would you tell her now?"

"Yes. I wish I had told her then."

"Do you feel this past relationship is impacting on your relationship with Angelo?"

"I guess. I mean I love her....erm loved her, and I let her down. Really, really badly."

"And you think you may let Angelo down, by being unfaithful?"

"Erm, no. I don't know. I'd never been unfaithful before Hugo."

"So how do you think you may let Angelo down?"

Charlie paused, before replying. "Because I…because my feelings aren't as strong for him, as they were for Joey."

"You don't love Angelo?"

"Not like that no." she sighed.

"What is it like?"

"Well, he's nice, we've got history, we're comfortable with each other. I like him, a lot. It was easy being with him."

"Do you think that's why you couldn't commit to him? Because you don't love him?"

"Yes. Probably."

"Did you want Angelo to move into your place?"

"No." Charlie shook her head.

"Why was that?"

"No…I just…just no."

"Because of your fear of commitment?"

"Not really."

"Is it because you aren't over Joey?"

Charlie paused. She bit her lip. "Probably." She replied.

"If she'd have stayed, if she'd have forgiven you, would you still be with her now?"

Charlie nodded. "Yes. Yes I would."

"Why do you think you slept with Hugo?"

"Because I was confused, and I was scared, of what people would think about my relationship with another woman."

"And yet you say you love her?"

"Yes."

Michael noted she answered him in the present tense again.

"Had you ever had feelings for another woman before?"

"No."

"Were you committed to her? Before you slept with Hugo?"

"Yes. I lived with Joey. At least, she moved in with me, and my flat mates." She blushed, before continuing. "As in properly moved in. Into my room. I was committed to her." She said quietly.

"And you were OK with that? No panic attacks or anything like that?"

"Initially, it was….strange… Like I said, I'd never, you know, been with a woman before Joey. But I was in love with her and it felt right. I wanted her to be with me. I wanted to be with her."

"Have you been with a woman since Joey left?"

"No. Only Angelo."

"If you saw Joey again. How do you think you would react?"

"I honestly don't know." She thought for a moment.

"Ideally?"

"I guess I would like to think that we could talk, I could apologise, she'd maybe think about forgiving me, and I could move on." She smiled briefly.

"Do you think she has moved on?"

Charlies heart constricted in her chest. She hated to think that Joey had moved on. Had found someone else to love. But at the same time, she had no right to feel like that. She'd had her chance and blown it. "She must have I guess."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, she never came back to me…erm, she never came home. And she's a beautiful, wonderful woman, so someone's bound to have snapped her up by now." Charlie said sadly.

"If you saw her with someone, how would you feel?"

A tear fell from Charlies eye. "I would be happy for her. Happy that she'd found someone to love her, and treat her how she deserves to be treated."

"And how would you feel for yourself?"

"I will forever wonder, if I'd tried harder, begged to her to stay, how things could have been between us. Or, if she had come back to me, and forgiven me after 3 months away, I think about how things could be now."

"And?" he encouraged her to continue.

"And I would be devastated that she was with someone else other than me. But the only person I can blame for that is myself."

"So, if she came back now, would you want to be with her?"

"I..I.."

"Do you still love her?"

"Yes." She whispered.

"So, if she came..."

"Yes. If she would have me back, I would want to be with her." Again Charlie had tears in her eyes.

All of a sudden there was a loud banging on the front door. It didn't stop.

"Excuse me Charlie. I'll just go see who that is. They seem quite persistent. Could I ask you to wait here? I don't like my clients to accidentally bump into each other."

"Sure." Charlie smiled.

Michael opened the front door. "Oh hello."

"Erm hi. Could I just come in a sec please? It's important."

"Sure. I have a client here at the moment. But we can go to the kitchen." He shut the door.

"Michael, I was just jogging past and I noticed a man in one of your trees in your front garden. I thought it may be best to just pretend to come in for my appointment. I know I'm early."

"What?" Said Michael, walking towards the front door to take a look.

"Be careful, don't make it too obvious. He's in the tree next to the drive."

"Right, could I ask you to wait here. I'll call the police. It's just my other client. I don't like you all bumping into each other. I'd rather keep you all apart."

"Sure, no problem."

"Thanks. Help yourself to a coffee. I won't be long."

He went into his office. "Erm Charlie. There's a guy up one of my trees. Goodness knows what he's doing there. But I've called the police, and wondered if you'd come out with me now to tackle him?"

"Sure. I haven't got my gun though."

"Let's hope we don't need it then."

They went outside, and rushed to the bottom of the tree. "Police. Come down now." Charlie shouted at him.

Sirens could be heard approaching the house. There was a rustling of leaves, and a very red Angelo appeared from the branches.

"Angelo? What are you doing up there?" asked a very shocked Charlie.

"Erm, I thought you were seeing someone."

"And what business is it of yours if I am? We're not going out anymore." Charlie stated angrily. "So you've been following me?" she accused him.

"But Charlie I…"

"Don't but Charlie me. You've turned into a creep. Who would seriously follow someone, they supposedly love? You're insane."

"But Charlie...."

"Keep away from me. I don't want anything to do with you anymore."

Watson turned up, the patrol car screeching to a halt. She jumped out, and was surprised to see Charlie and Angelo standing in front of her. "We got a call from a Michael at this address, about a prowler in a tree. But if you guys are already here…"

"I'm Michael, and this is my prowler." He said, pointing at Angelo.

"Erm Angelo? What's going on?" asked Watson.

"I'll leave you too it Watson." Charlie turned away. She said quietly to Michael. "Friday?"

Michael smiled. "Yes. Same time as today." He followed her to her car. "Erm Charlie?"

"Yes?"

"I would like to involve you a group discussion on Friday. How would you feel about that?"

"Erm, I'm not sure."

"They'd be me and another of my clients there. That's all. It's a bit unusual, but I think it'll help you."

"Well, I guess I could give it a go." Charlie said slightly unsurely.

"You could always leave if it wasn't what you want."

"Erm, OK then." She smiled.

"10.15 am OK?"

"Yes sure. Goodbye."

"Bye Charlie."

Charlie drove her car out the drive, and went home.

Michael went back into the house. "Sorted?" asked the young woman.

"Yes. Thanks for that Joey. It is." Chuckled Michael to himself. "Shall we go through?" They went through to his office.

"So how are you?" Michael liked Joey. She was very likeable. She was beautiful, had a lovely smile, and had a wicked sense of humour. She started coming to see him 3 months ago, wanting to talk through her rape, and the attempted murder of her by the rapist. She also wanted to talk through a bad break-up she went through, and how to learn hope to cope with it all.

"I'm good thanks."

"New job going OK then?"

"Yes it is. It's different from being on a boat, but at least I've still got some connection with the water." She smiled. She loved being on the open ocean, but she loved her new job at the aquarium down the coast too. She preferred to see creatures in their natural environment, but a lot of the work the aquarium did, was about saving species as well.

"So, last time we finished by talking about how you need to move on, from your ex, Charlie."

"Yes." Joey gulped.

"You forgave her for Hugo."

"Yes." Joey nodded, she did.

"So, how did she take your apology?"

"She didn't." she paused, and squirmed slightly in her chair. "I came back, a couple of days after the 3 months trip was up." Her head dropped, as she looked at the floor. "But I found out that she'd moved on. While I was away." She said quietly. "She'd started seeing someone else." She wiped a tear from her eye. "So I didn't have the chance to tell her."

"I see." Said Michael.

"Yeah. So, I came back to tell her, that I forgave her, that I love her, and that, if she'll have me, then I'd still like to be her girlfriend."

"And she broke your heart again?"

"Yeah, She couldn't wait the 3 months for me. She'd already started going out with Angelo. He was another cop. She'd gone out with him, briefly, before we got together. So I guess I didn't mean that much to her after all."

"How did that make you feel?"

"Heart broken. Again. Devastated that she couldn't even wait 3 months for me to get back, before moving on with someone else." She replied.

"Did you try and see her while you were back?"

"No. I couldn't face her. What was the point anyway? She'd moved on. I just wanted to leave. To get as far away from here as possible."

"And yet you've come back again?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because my brother lives here. Because I can't keep running away forever. I need to get on with my life." She stated.

"Have you seen her yet?"

"No." she said quietly.

"How will you react if you do see her?"

Joey squirmed. "Probably exactly as I did on the wharf that time. Walk straight past, and pretend I'm busy."

"You wouldn't feel comfortable, talking to her, having a chat, and getting some closure?"

"No. Not at the moment." She looked up. "Maybe, after a few more sessions of talking it through with you I would." She smiled.

"That's good then." Michael smiled back. He continued. "You still love her a lot don't you?"

"Yes." She said, without hesitation.

"Will you always feel like that?"

Joey thought for a moment before answering. "Yes. She's…I…" she sighed. "I know I'll never get over her. I'm here because I need to learn how to deal with that."

"If she said she still loves you. Would you give her a second chance?"

"She's had 2nd and 3rd chances."

"Would you?" he pressed.

"I don't know."

"But you still love her."

"I'll always love her. That doesn't mean that I would risk breaking my heart all over again. I wouldn't survive the next time. I'm barely surviving this time. I mean, it's getting easier to deal with, slowly, but I'll never forget her. I'll never not love her."

"I'm sorry Joey." He smiled.

"Anyway. It's not going to happen. She moved on ages ago."

They continued to talk, until their session was at an end.

"I would like to get you involved in a group session. How would you feel about that?"

"Erm, I'm not sure. Would I have to tell people what happened to me, and why I'm here?"

"That would be up to you."

"Do you think it will help me?"

"Yes. I do."

"Erm, OK then." Joey said, slightly unsurely.

"Good." Michael smiled. "Friday OK then?"

"Erm yeah, I guess. 10 am as usual?"

"Yeah 10am. Thanks Joey. See you then."