Keys to the Kingdom: Abridged

Disclaimer: I don't own the Keys to The Kingdom, or you can imagine what the story would be like.

On the first day, there was candy.

Sunday didn't want the Will to be done, as it was completely destroy his Barbie Dolls. As the other Morrow days didn't care, he also added their favorite things on the list of things that the Will would destroy, so they all jumped to destroy it.

So, they tore the Will, and the least fragment of it was put inside a diamond somehow, and kept inside an unbreakable box (with its lid open, mind you) and twelve Sentinels were sent to guard the Will.

Then, while the guards were just standing there, bored, someone appeared. It was Monday's Dusk.

Anyway, he walked over to the Nithlings, and said,

"Look, Monday told me to check on the Will."

"Sorry, but you can't go without permission," one of them answered.

Dusk didn't have permission, so he knew there was only one way to get to the will. He pointed in the opposite direction and said,

"Look! There's Barney!" At once, the guards looked eager, and then ran off in that direction singing, "I love you, you love me…"

"Now, it's time to free the Will," Dusk said to himself. "And I really need to stop talking to myself. Oh, I'm going to get my revenge."

Flashback to a few weeks previously.

Monday announced, "Look, I'm changing the fashion to the kind they had around two hundred years ago. That's effective immediately."

Now, this would have meant absolutely nothing to Dusk, until he added,

"Dusk, you can't wear your nose ring anymore."

"But come on, it's my thing."

"No, you have to get rid of it."

Now, back to the scene we left.

"I'll get you back for that. It's okay if you break the Will, it's okay if you laze around all day, it's okay if you kill innocent puppies, but when you mess with the nose ring, I can't stand it anymore." So, he walked to the open unbreakable box and took the diamond. It turned out to actually be made of candy, so he just broke it and let the Will escape.

Meanwhile, Arthur was nearly dying of an asthma attack. Then, Leaf and Ed showed up.

"Wow, does this mean we can eat him?" Ed asked.

"What have I told you about cannibalism, Ed?" Leaf answered.

"It's illegal and rude," Ed said sadly.

If he's almost dying, and lost his senses I might actually have a chance with him. Leaf thought. So, they went to get the rest of the class so they could make fun of Arthur together.

Meanwhile, Mister Monday and Sneazer had arrived on the scene.

"Now, we just have to give him the Key," Sneazer said.

"Exactly why am I doing this?" Monday asked.

"You will give the Key to the boy," Sneazer said, waving his hands in a Jedi-like fashion.

"I will give the Key to the boy," Monday said, handing Arthur the Minute Key. "Wait, I've just realized that you've tricked me."

"How observant," Sneazer said, and the Will ran way freely.

A week later, Arthur was back at school. He had figured out how to use the Key, and was hiding in the library when,

"Hello there." someone said. It was a too-handsome man who we don't know. *cough* Monday's Noon *cough*

"So, like give me the Key or something, I'm already in a bad mood because Dawn wouldn't go out with me for the thousandth time," Noon said.

"No way, this thing's mine!" Arthur shouted and ran. So, Monday's Noon ran after him and then Arthur managed to find his way into the House.

"Wow, how did I get here so fast?" Arthur asked himself. Arthur set out to explore the Lower House, while no one informed Mister Monday for some reason. Then, out of a crack in the floor, Nithlings appeared.

"Oh my god, it's mutated broccoli! Someone help us!" someone shouted. Sure enough, monstrous broccoli came out of the crack.

"Quick, climb up here!" A voice came from above. Arthur quickly climbed the ladder to find Suzy. "There's a place where we can go." After running for a while, they were at the edge of the coal cellars.

"So, according to you, we should jump down this hole?" Arthur asked. The Will came out of Suzy and replied,

"Yes." They were about to jump, when the Will said,

"What about the girl?"

"She knows too much, I say we take care of her," Arthur said.

"No! I also want to come on your adventures!" Suzy said.

"You're barely even sidekick material. And, you haven't even hit puberty yet," Arthur said.

"Let's take her. We can use her as live bait."

"Okay," Arthur said. So, they started the long descent towards the coal-cellars.

"Okay, so why is the House nearly completely in complete disorder?" Arthur asked.

"It's ruled by a grown man who plays with Barbie dolls, why else?" The Will replied.

So, they finally ended up near the Old One.

"Hey, it's the Will. How're you doing?" he asked.

"Now you care about me, don't you?" the Will sobbed.

Another Flashback!

"That's it, Old One. You seem to care more for your clocks than me. Now, you'll have to choose between the clocks and me!" The Architect shouted.

"I choose my clocks." the Old One said. The Architect began to cry and sobbed,

"Well, I'm creating a Will to find someone else. Also to get rid of Sunday's Barbie Dolls." Now, we move back to the present scene.

"So, you made the Will to find another date? I'm not supposed to be heir of the House or anything?" Arthur asked.

"Of course not," the Will replied. Meanwhile, the Old One noticed Arthur's watch.

"Whoa, what's that?" He pointed to the watch.

"It's called a watch." (Didn't know that.)

"Wow, a clock you put on your wrist. Tell you what, I'll give you something good for that."

"What?"

"This," the Old One pulled out a pink door. "This will allow you to go anywhere you want. I think it's called the Anywhere Door, I mugged this off some giant blue raccoon."

So, they traded, and found themselves in Monday's Antechamber. Surrounded by his Noon, Dawn, Dusk, and a whole lot of other people.

"Whoa, didn't see that coming," Suzy said.

Monday said, "Since you're all completely hopeless, I think I'll give you my Key." Arthur claimed the Key.

"Yes," Arthur said. "I'm the evil dictator now."

"Does this mean I can wear my nose ring?" Dusk asked.

"No!" everyone shouted.

"Dusk, Noon, switch places," Arthur said.

"No," Noon said. "I don't want to be Dusk."

"I think Dusks are dreamy." Dawn said.

"Okay I'll do it," Noon said happily.

And they all lived happily ever after for the time being. Except Dusk, who was now Noon, who was crying and rolling over the floor like a small child because he wasn't allowed to wear his nose ring.