A/N: This is how I would have ended 'Adrift Pt. 2'… I know it's been done to death, but humor me, huh?
Disclaimers: Though some of the scenes in this story were copied (nearly verbatim) from the actual episode 'Adrift Pt.2', the characters and copyrights are not mine… no infringement intended. I'm not doing this for money. The song is sung by Enrique Iglesias, and does not belong to me, either. Enjoy…
20:30 Zulu
Harm's Apartment
North of Union Station
Renee unlocked, and opened, the apartment door, turning to see Harm closing the elevator door. She hurried over to help him, his suitcase slung over her shoulder. "You alright?" she asked, escorting him to the apartment door.
"Yeah, fine; you okay?" Harm asked, leaning on his cane, away from her touch, and hobbling to the apartment door.
"Yep, well, just kept telling myself better your suitcase than your casket," she replied, as Harm paused to look around his apartment, and she closed the door. "You want something? Tea? A sandwich?" she asked, setting his bag down, while he made his way further into the room.
"No; no, I'm good," Harm replied, stopping just long enough to look at his desk, before heading towards the sofa.
Unsure of his reactions, she rubbed her palms together. "How about some music?" she asked.
"No, thanks, uh… just, relax," he said, motioning her towards the nearby chair.
Renee watched him with an uncertain smile on her face, as he finally sat down, wincing in pain. "Harm," she began, moving towards him. "When… you couldn't remember our relationship," she said, sitting on the coffee table in front of him. "Were you wondering if I could ever… be someone that you could be with?" she asked, eyebrows raised.
"Renee…" Harm said, looking away. He hated it when she did this.
"I know… I know, I hate myself when I talk like this," she said, closing her eyes, and cupping her face in her hands.
"Then why are you doing it?" he asked, looking at her.
"Because… I'm afraid." She looked him in the eyes.
Harm gave her an indecipherable look, before looking away again. He really wasn't in the mood for this.
"I'm afraid not to," she told him.
Still looking away, Harm asked, "Is this about Mac again? Why do we always got to come back to this?" he asked, looking at her again, as she closed her eyes.
Shaking her head, and then nodding slowly, she said, "You're right; you're right… you really need to rest, you do, so uh, I'll go," she said, rising and kissing his cheek.
"Renee," Harm said, stopping her. "I- I'm not mad…" he sighed; maybe it was time. "Sit for a minute? We need to talk."
Suddenly nervous, she took her seat back on the coffee table. "What is it?"
"I…" he began, unable to look at her. "I really appreciate everything you've done for me the last few weeks."
She smiled, relieved. "No problem, really, I was happy to."
Harm shook his head, putting his head on the back of the sofa, and looking to the ceiling tiles for wisdom. "Renee… when… when I was being tossed around in the ocean… being pulled under by the freezing waves, it… I kept telling myself 'I have to make it back'. I have to get back to… to…" he paused, closing his eyes again. He didn't want to hurt her, he really didn't. But it wasn't fair to keep lying to her; or to himself.
"… to Mac?" she asked, understanding dawning.
Harm's gaze flew back to hers. "You knew?"
Renee smiled sadly; resignedly. "Harm… I've always known."
"Renee," Harm said. "I never meant to hurt you; I really am sorry." His eyes begged her to understand.
She stood, leaning over to kiss his lips one last time. "We could have been good together, Sailor," she whispered, placing a finger on his lips to silence him. Walking over to retrieve her purse, she stopped at the door. "Goodbye, Harm," she said. "Don't mess it up with Mac this time… you may not get another chance," she told him, walking out the door for the last time.
00:47 Zulu
Harm's Apartment
North of Union Station
Harm was lying down, resting both his battered body and his weary mind. Mac had charged out of here over an hour ago, racing to stop Mic from leaving for Australia. He was still trying to convince himself that letting her go had been the right thing to do, when the phone rang. Forcing himself to move, he answered.
"Hello?"
"He's gone; he wouldn't even speak to me," Mac's distraught voice came through, the sound of her crying tearing at his heart.
"Hey, hey… don't blame yourself," he told her. "Brumby has always acted impulsively; it was just a matter of time."
"What are you saying?" Mac asked, smiling through her tears, hoping he was just trying to cheer her up, before the tears started again.
"This isn't going to make it hurt any less," Harm said, pausing. "But it's better now than six months into the marriage."
"Okay, I'm hanging up now," Mac said, no longer amused, if he was trying to cheer her up.
"Mac," Harm said, suddenly worried about her. "Where are you going?"
"I don't know," she cried.
Harm paused for the briefest moment, taking a deep breath. "Come to me."
"Why?" Mac asked, confused. He was the last person she could go to; even if he was the first one she wanted.
"So we can talk," he said, realizing that was the last thing either of them wanted to do.
Mac paused, unsure. "We already talked," she told him.
"Don't argue with me," Harm said firmly, surprising himself.
Mac paused again, still unsure. His firm tone had surprised her, too. "I need a better reason," she said, knowing that she couldn't take his rejection again.
Harm considered for just a moment, knowing this time, he had to get it right. "You know the reason," he told her softly.
Mac was silent a moment, surprised at the seductive tone of his voice.
"Mac?" he asked, unsure if she was still on the line.
"I'm here," she reassured him, the tears gone, her heart racing.
"I'm waiting," he said, listening as she let out the breath she'd been holding, and then hung up.
Hanging up the phone, he forced himself out of the bed. Grabbing his cane, he moved to the living room, flipping on the stereo to the CD changer, and then going to the kitchen for a drink of water to take his pain pill with. Then he sat on the sofa to wait.
01:41 Zulu
Outside Harm's Apartment
North of Union Station
Mac paused before she knocked. "I'm waiting…" he'd said. Was it her imagination, or had that been desire she'd heard in his voice? What if she was misreading his feelings of friendship, for something more? She hesitated one more second, and then knocked.
After a moment, Harm opened the door, allowing her to enter, before he closed and locked it. He turned to look at her.
Mac walked into his apartment for the second time that night, wringing her hands together. She'd removed the engagement ring in the car… and guiltily realized that she'd felt as if a huge weight had lifted from her. She turned to look at Harm, just as he closed the door and turned to face her. Eyes filling with tears, she moved into his waiting arms.
Harm read the expressions on her face, as only he could. Guilt, relief, fear, pain… it was all there, and then the sadness hit, and he opened his arms. "C'mere," he whispered, and she moved swiftly into his open arms, sobbing into his chest.
She couldn't help herself, so she cried. Cried for the loss of Mic, yes, but not because she loved him as one should love the person you're going to marry; she loved him as a dear friend. Cried, because in her heart she knew he'd been right when he'd told her the only reason she'd wanted him to stay, was so that she wouldn't be alone.
Cried for the fear she'd felt on the night of her rehearsal dinner, as she waited for news of Harm's survival. It had been the worst night of her life, and she hadn't had her best friend… the man she loved… to turn to for comfort, because he was the one missing. Hewas the one she didn't know if she'd ever see again. He was the one she wanted to be marrying the next morning.
Harm just stood solidly, holding her while she cried. His leg was screaming in pain, but he resolutely ignored it. Right now, forever, all that mattered was the woman in his arms. The woman, two weeks ago, he didn't know if he'd ever live to see again. As he'd been flailing about in the storm-tossed waters of the frigid Atlantic ocean, his mind had been on his best friend, the woman he loved… the woman he had to get back to. It had been thoughts of her that had kept him alive all those hours. He had to get back to tell her that he loved her, that he needed her, that she was marrying the wrong man…
Mac's sobs subsided, and she finally pulled away, looking around the dimly lit apartment. "Renee?" she asked softly.
"Gone," Harm said, just as softly. He looked deep into her rich, dark eyes, needing her to understand. "For good."
Mac bit her top lip. "Me?" she questioned guiltily.
Harm gave her a brief smile, shaking his head. "Not entirely… we were doomed from the start, Mac," he told her honestly. "I didn't, couldn't, love her."
"Why?" Mac asked, frowning slightly. Although she knew the answer in her heart, she needed to hear him say it. Hoping she wasn't pushing him too much, too soon, she looked into his eyes and waited for his answer.
This was it, he realized. His moment of truth; his time to let go. Stepping closer, he cupped her cheek in his palm, wiping the last of her tears from her cheek with the pad of his thumb tenderly.
"Because I love you… I have always loved you," he admitted, looking into her eyes, willing his to reveal the truth to her.
Mac's breath hitched, as she saw the truth of his declaration shining in the hazel depths of his glittering eyes. Her own filled with tears again, but this time, they were tears of joy. "Harm…" she breathed, as he pulled her into his arms and his mouth descended on hers. He kissed her tenderly, his passion just under the surface. He wanted this kiss to convey his love for her; convey how much he cherished her.
The song on the stereo changed, and Harm pulled back to smile at her, before he kissed her again, only this time… this time, he let go.
Mac inhaled sharply as his mouth covered hers again. The first kiss had been soft, tender, cherishing… but this kiss quickly got away from them. This kiss, was like the one they'd shared that night on the Admiral's porch, when they'd almost said 'goodbye' for good. The kiss they'd broken before it had even gotten a chance to really get started, because they both knew that they had someone else waiting inside for them.
They didn't have to stop this time; there were no others waiting for them. At long last, things were as they were always meant to be.
Harm pulled away when he felt Mac's salty tears fall on their lips. Brushing them away, he looked at her, his own eyes filling with tears as he again said the words that had finally set him free. "I love you." He reached out and touched her swollen lips with his fingers, and he felt her tremble at his touch, and then laugh nervously, before she looked at him again, turning serious.
"I love you, too," she said softly. "I've always loved you."
Harm glanced towards the bedroom, and then looked back at her, the unspoken question in his eyes. He wouldn't push… it was her decision.
Mac gave him the briefest smile, and then nodded, following as he took her hand in his and leaned on the cane with the other to head to the bedroom. She paused momentarily, as she realized he was still recovering.
"Mac?" he asked, worried by her sudden hesitation. Noting her looking at his cane, he tilted her chin with his forefinger, so that she was looking at him, and gave her a reassuring smile. "I'm okay," he told her, leading her into the bedroom.
He placed his cane against the wall near the bed, while Mac slipped off her shoes and tossed her cover onto the dresser. Turning back towards Harm, she gasped as he again pulled her against him, kissing her deeply.
02:22 EST
Harm's Apartment
North of Union Station
Slowly, tenderly, they undressed one another, kissing and caressing as they went. When they finally stood before each other, completely nude, Harm pulled Mac into his arms and kissed her gently.
Would you dance if I asked you to dance?
Or would you run and never look back?
Harm pulled away, his eyes filled with tears as his love for this woman finally brimmed over.
Mac wiped at his tears with the pad of her thumb, just as he'd done for her so many times. She gently pushed him to a sitting position on the bed and wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him to her as they both let loose the tears they'd been holding at bay.
Would you cry if you saw me crying?
And would you save my soul tonight?
Pulling back, Harm touched Mac's lips tenderly, feeling her tremble beneath his touch, until she laughed and leaned down to kiss him.
Would you tremble if I touched your lips?
Or would you laugh? Oh, please tell me this?
Harm leaned back onto the bed, pulling her down with him and turning them so that she was beneath him. She wrapped her arms around him, caressing his back with her palms, as he kissed her deeply again, his hands exploring her body.
Would you die now for the one you love?
Oh hold me in your arms tonight.
After he'd taken her over the edge and brought her back down again, he kissed her tenderly, smiling when she gently pushed him onto his back and moved over him, exploring his body as he had done with hers.
I can be your hero, baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away
Mac brought him to the very edge, pausing when he stopped her, shaking his head and begging her to stop.
"Together, Mac," he breathed. "I want us to do this together."
Smiling, Mac nodded, moving up his body to caress his face.
"Forever," she promised, leaning forward to kiss him again.
Would you swear that you'll always be mine
Or would you lie? Would you run and hide?
Am I in too deep? Have I lost my mind?
I don't care. You're here tonight.
Harm broke the kiss and gently pushed her onto her back, moving his body to cover hers, before he kissed her again and made her a part of him. As they finally became one in every sense of the word, he closed his eyes and gasped slightly. Opening his eyes, he found the same sense of awe reflected in hers.
They each had finally found the other half of their soul.
I can be your hero baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away
"Harm…" Mac breathed softly, holding him close to her as she struggled to get her breathing under control.
"Hush, Mac," Harm whispered, kissing her forehead. "I just want to hold you."
Mac smiled, nodding, as she snuggled against him and closed her eyes.
Oh… I just want to hold you
Oh… I just want to love you
Tonight
After a few minutes of silence, Harm pulled back enough to kiss her again, reigniting the fires between them as he rolled her onto her back and rediscovered her body with tender kisses and caresses again, until they could no longer hold back, and Harm was once again filling her.
"Mine," he whispered into her ear.
"Forever," she promised again, just before they fell over the edge into oblivion.
Am I in too deep? Have I lost mind?
Well, I don't care. You're here tonight.
"Marry me?" Harm breathed into her hair, just before she slipped off to sleep.
Mac blinked, instantly awake. Mic had been gone less than four hours, but she knew that this was the man she was always meant to be with. "Yes."
Harm kissed her tenderly, pulling her close to him again with a contented sigh. "I love you, Sarah. Forever."
Mac closed her eyes, smiling. "I love you, too. Forever." She knew they had things to talk about; things that needed to be settled once and for all. But for now, she was happy, and she was right where she was always meant to be.
In the arms of her hero.
I can be your hero baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away
I can be your hero…
I can kiss away your pain…
I will stand by you forever…
You can take my breath away…
You can take my breath away…
I can feel your beating heart…
You can take…