Disclaimer: I really, really don't own Desperate Housewives. But thanks for asking.
Story Summary: A love story told through notes. Takes place throughout the entirety of season two.
A/n: Really short and really random, but I needed a break from Shadows to clear my thinking. Hopefully it's good for a laugh or two.
XOXO, Lynette
A story by Ryeloza
You forgot a few things on your grocery list. I'm not meddling; just saving you a second trip!
Milk
Eggs
Diapers
Crackers—the peanut butter ones not the cheese
And please pick up my birth control pills! The future of your sex life depends on it!
XOXO, Lynette
~*~
Tom—probably going to be late again tonight because Nina is a sadistic, insecure, mess of a woman. Remind me: why did I think it was a good idea to play her wing-man when she's clearly insane? Kiss the kids goodnight for me. Love you.
XOXO, Lynette
~*~
It is not my fault that my fault that Nina is getting more sex than you are this week. And you rolling over last night and mumbling, "Sex please," does not count as foreplay.
XOXO, Lynette
~*~
Had to sneak out early this morning. I have a meeting at eight. Can you put that pot roast in the oven for me? I'm taking it over to Gabrielle's tonight, so I won't be late.
Do you think it's too late to find a babysitter for Saturday night? I went Christmas shopping during my lunch break the other day and I got you a little something you might like to unwrap early. I'll give you a hint: it's lacy and black and easily removable. Interested?
XOXO, Lynette
~*~
Tom,
Yes, I remember the time Preston swallowed a quarter and no, I'm not going to remind you how long it took him to pass it. You need to end this stupid betting crap now before it goes too far. And stop emailing me at work to ask me this stuff!
XOXO, Lynette
PS: That last proposition wasn't work appropriate either. Make it during lunch in the storage closet and you have a deal.
~*~
My wonderful husband,
Good luck in the meeting, baby! Love you. Miss you. Hurry home.
XOXO, Lynette
~*~
Hey Tom,
You're not answering your phone, but I figured you'll check your email at some point today. How's the business trip going? Was the pitch a slam dunk? How's the hotel?
Oh, by the way, I know we agreed no pets, but there was an emergency and I had to buy the kids a dog. Her name is Pepper—Parker's choice. I'll explain when you call me back.
XOXO, Lynette
~*~
Tom, I'm worried. You stormed out of here and you aren't answering your phone. If you're home reading this please call me back. Ed is a jerk and I'm sure whatever he said he deserved the punch. You'll find another job.
Call me.
XOXO, Lynette
~*~
I really thought about staying and confronting you in person, but the thought of even seeing you after what you did makes me sick. I'd say that our marriage deserves more than a letter, but you basically spit on it anyway, so what else is there to say? How could you do this to me? How could you throw the last ten years of our lives away on some floozy you probably met at a strip club? I just can't understand…
God, I hate how much I still love you. But don't worry. I'll get over it. It won't be hard—all I have to do is think about you and that trashy whore together.
Don't try to find me. Don't try to call me. Don't even think about me. And I'll return the favor.