You know I want to keep my distance, does it happen anyway?
He knows you're going to drift apart and there's nothing he can say.
I know that he's a stand-up guy, but that's none of my concern.
We've all been in one situation or another, it's my turn.
To be the other man, no one sympathises,
When you're the other man that everyone despises
-Sloan, 'The Other Man'
I do not own, or plan to make any compensation off this fanfic. Purely an idea that came to me in the bath, while this song played Dragon Age(c) Bioware
Takes place during Awakening; I tweaked some things, so they would flow into the DA2 storyline
He flirted heavily with the young spitfire mage, the moment she met him. Her short feathered black hair and crystal blue eyes studied him like a hawk studies a mouse. He estimated her age to be the same as his, but the skin around her eyes aged her slightly, prematurely. He made a game of how many pretty women he could bed while he was on the run. This new mage would be Anders' crowning achievement.
His eyes might as well have fallen out of his skull. Not only was the mage the Hero of Fereldan, his commander, but she was the mistress of King Alistair! And by the Maker, how she bristled against the templars when they wanted to take him away again! He followed her around like a puppy, much to the amusement of his fellows. 'Look but don't touch', was told to him jokingly after Oghren caught his wandering eye.
Some months later, he found himself becoming a good friend of hers, offering a sympathetic ear to her problems and concerns. Now they were sharing a jug of sweet summer wine, and the flush on her cheeks made him excited. "Why do you even put up with that? You should find someone else." She turned slowly to the man at her side, "Because I promised him, I would love him forever..." Her eyes betrayed her sadness. "Bloody hell! He's King by blood! He could marry whomever he wants! Why didn't –" She glared at him, fury rising and flushing her cheeks further. "Because I'm a damn mage. If I was a pauper, I could have been Queen, but oooh no, the Maker found it fit to make me a bloody mage!" She buried her head into her palms. Anders coiled his arms around her, lifting her up, and pressing her to his chest. "Let's get you to bed Commander. I'm sorry I brought this up."
He she her on her bed, making sure she wouldn't roll off. He brushed a lock of hair off her forehead as he dipped down to kiss it. He paused after the chaste kiss, searching her eyes. He slowly brought his mouth down to hers, his lips ghosting hers. Her voice was a whisper, "Anders, I can't...I—Alistair..." He brought his hand up and cupped her cheek, "Warden, he's in bed with her right now." Suddenly she rose up and crashed her lips to his, as he held her tighter. He felt a lone tear slide along his one hand.
King Alistair had come to the Keep at the request of the Warden. Anders glared as his Commander followed the trail and waited for him to arrive. The other companions gave Anders wary looks, as they knew of the trysts between the two. Nathan warned Anders about the relationship, and how it would end in pain for both parties. "Don't tell me you can't see the guilt on her face when someone mentions his name!" Anders spun around, eyes blazing, "She deserves better then to be his whore!" Nathan narrowed his eyes and placed a wary hand on the hilt of his blade, "Open your eyes man, they love each other." 'You were just a substitute', the words were unspoken, but rang loudly through the mage's head. He turned and sulked towards the Keep.
Anders cringed as he heard the voiced arguing down the hall. He crept towards her door, listening to the quarrel. "Solona! I told you! It's to produce an heir only! Do you have any idea how easy Fereldan would plummet into political unrest when I die and there is no king to take the throne? I don't love her. I loved you." Anders heard the Warden gasp. "Loved? You mean you don't anymore?" The silence was heavy in the air. "Solona Amell, you told me about that man. How do you expect me to feel now?" His voice cracked slightly. "This could have been different. You're the King dammit! We could have married, and you could have taken a surrogate! We could have adopted...we..." "ENOUGH! Our followers would have revolted! You're a mage—"Anders clenched his fist to keep from burning the Keep down in rage. He heard the Warden sob, "So that's it. Because of something totally out of my control, we couldn't be together. And as a King you don't want to bother to change the rules because you fear how your people would react? You could make it more equal for us mages!" The King sighed, "It's not that easy. People fear magic. Some mages abuse the power, what stops them from oppressing the people?" "What stops people from oppressing each other?" She quipped back, her voice laced with bitterness. "There are protocols. Things even a King must bow down to. You were the one who fought so hard to put me in this role, and now I wonder if it wasn't partly for your own gain." She was sobbing openly now, Anders turned and left for his quarters.
In the days preparing to take the fight to the Broodmother, other whisperings filled the ears of those staying in the Keep. Whisperings of King Alistair leaving in the middle of the night. Whisperings of the Warden throwing an enchanted rose at his feet. Whisperings of how a certain mage was the wedge between the once happy couple. The Commander took extra precaution to avoid him, which hurt more than any of the gossip. He felt anger and guilt, and confessed this to the only companion who didn't seem to shun him, Justice. In fact, Justice seemed to agree with him and even went so far as to say the ill-fated romance was needed. "The Commander would be better off without him Anders. Look how dedicated she has been lately. Love is sometimes a distraction from the true cause." Anders, so desperately wanting to be absolved of guilt, made himself believe in these words.
She passed him over when choosing her group. He would stay and 'defend the Keep', opting for the Elven mage Velanna to watch her back. As she walked away Anders ran towards her, and grabbed her hand, "Solona. I am truly sorry. I-" She didn't even turn around, only cut him off from the most foolish thing he could have said, "Anders, fight well." And she was gone.
The battle at the keep was long, and they had lost many to the darkspawn. However in the end, the Keep stood tall, against the setting sun. They gathered their dead onto the pyre, noting the battle sounds in the direction Amaranthine starting to wind down. Anders worked quickly, he had little time to finalize his plan. He had hidden a body of a young guard, and began to cut the man's beard and long blonde hair, until it looked like his. He switched clothing with him, and with a fire spell, singed his face just enough. He lowered the visor on his helm and dragged the body to the pile. "Captain Garevel! Come quickly! I have another!" The Captain gasped at the body, "Anders! By the Maker..." He shook his head sadly.
The real Anders heard the cries of the returning companions and the Commander when they saw the body. He quietly slipped by a broken section of wall and started towards the road to the port in Denerim. A heavy hand pulled him backwards suddenly, into the shadows. "Anders, I knew you were alive. Tell me, why are you leaving?" It was Justice. Slowly flipping up the visor, eyes red with unshed tears, he smiled. "I want to make the world a better place for her...for all mages." Justice nodded, "You have the great ideas, but no plan. Come Anders, there is something I want to discuss that should benefit us both."
It felt like ages to Anders. Ages since his pact with Justice, and leaving Solona Amell. He felt old, and constantly riddled with guilt. He would throw himself into his work, hoping that somehow healing others would heal his own wounds, or at least make him worthy in the eyes of the Maker.
He heard her light feminine footsteps before she spoke his name, "Anders? Are you Anders?" He looked up, and paled. A small woman, with short black hair, and crystal blue eyes. It wasn't her, yet they had the exact same eyes. His heart beat wildly in his chest, as Justice growled grumpily in his head. He reached out his hand to her, and she shook it with enthusiasm, "Marion Hawke, pleased to finally meet you. A little bird told me you used to be a Grey Warden..."