Nothing I see is clear. Rem is gone. Lights are flashing red. The world spins around me. I try to make since of it. Amidst the commotion I hear L's calm voice.
"Something's happened to Watari." he says. Rem must be behind this. Where is he?
"Say your goodbyes, Light." I hear the voice invade my thoughts, "It's time."
Kira. The enemy. The mastermind that controls me. He was gone for so long and now he's returned. He is not me. He is a monster.
"NO!" My conscious screams. I can't let him kill L. I know I've let him kill before, but this is different. So much different. This is L. Not a criminal or terrorist, but my friend. As he takes over my consciousness again, for the first time, I fight back . On a metaphysical plain, the demon he is has a hold on my pathetic human form. I can't let him win. I struggle to throw him off of me, but I'm too weak. My thoughts, my ambitions, my will, are merely for the sake of one. He has plans for the world. In our fight, he is clearly winning. I never stop trying, though I know I will lose.
"Light." he hisses with a sinister grin, "It's pointless. You can't save him. Rem just wrote his name. He's in the book."
"No..." I mutter hopelessly, and in my moment of shock, he takes over me. I lose all control. My consciousness returns to the real world, though it's not my own. Through his eyes, I see L falling to the floor. My body kneels, my consciousness screams. Through the fog of Kira's reigning consciousness, I see L's face. His black, strangely intriguing eyes watered in obvious pain. I feel his body trembling in my hands. His breathing is rapid. I look down at him. I feel my face break into a smile. And on his face I see realization, pain, and, worst of all, betrayal. His eye's then slowly close, and his breathing stops. I am now left with nothing more then his body in my arms and my own conscious being trapped behind a maniac's masquerade.
"I win." the demon says to me. "He's dead."
"Traitor! Liar! Murderer! You used me! He trusted you!" I scream accusations in my heartbroken rage.
"He trusted you" he states calmly.
"I hate you! You-you're Satan!"
"To some Satan is a god."
I scream and cry. I want to bring L back. I want my body to be my own. I want to be Light Yagami, just an average honor student. I want my old life back. I don't want to be Kira. Not anymore.
"I think I'll give you some alone time." Kira says. Suddenly my body is mine again. My screams echo throughout headquarters. Tears rush down my face. The body in my arms should not be there. L should be alive.
"Kira!", I curse the monster in my mind. It's no use though. No amount of screaming or crying can reverse what he's done. This is his fault. All of it.
"You're pathetic." he chuckles in the back of my mind. I refuse to acknowledge his presence. No more. Not after what he's done. He's taken everything from me. I'm done with him.
"Humans. Stupid little creatures. Especially you." he continued to mock me, "All talk. 'This world is rotten.' That's why I came to you. You wanted to make a difference. At the time you would do anything to do so. Look at you now. Sobbing over a single death. Like it will actually change anything. He never loved you Light. Accept it. You were a suspect. Nothing more."
"I cringe at his mentioning of love. How could he know? I told no one.
"I hear everything Light. Your thoughts, your dreams, everything." he states this as though I should've known that. "I know you think this was my fault. That you're cursed. I know you can hear me. You're ignoring me. That's fine. I still get my point across. You loved L. That was your only flaw Light. You couldn't help loving the enemy. He had to go Light. He got in our way."
My father takes L's body away. I want to follow him, but I feel weak and tired. Emotions run down my spine and brush my skin, whilst emptiness fills me. I've lost L. He's dead. He's really dead. The pale, emotionless face of the beautiful detective bobs limply as he's removed from the building. Soon I'm alone. So very alone.
"Aren't you going to say goodbye?" Kira continues to tease.
"He was in your way. Not mine." I mutter audibly. No need to hide it right now.
"You are me. I am you. What's yours is mine, and what's mine is ours."
"I will never be you."
"I was you the second you picked up that book." he hissed, "I gave you freedom, but ultimately I controlled you. You were clever. I needed your help at first. But this whole time you've been under my control."
"You still need my help. I can expel you anytime I like." I challenge him
"Not anymore. With my only external obstacle out of the way, you're the only thing keeping us from becoming God of the New World."
"I don't want to become God of anything, especially not with you."
"Exactly my point." he said with his sickening grin.
I feel myself being pulled from reality into the war zone of my mind. Kira has changed the mental landscape from my field to skyscrapers. I stand atop a pedestal like tower, and he another.
"I am no longer in need of your assistance. I believe it's time I got rid of you." Kira smiles. He changes his form from a tall, demon-like creature, to L. A far more sinister version of L. His black hair looks to be greased with tar and pitch. When he smiles, his teeth are yellowed and sharp. His eyes are all black. This is not my L. This is his own. He's trying to hurt me with something I loved. He's tainted it though. This isn't what I know.
"Is this not close enough for you?" Kira shouts, hearing my thoughts and knowing I was unaffected. His form shifts once again. This time it truly is L. Everything is the same. I want to hug him and hold him and never let him go. No, it's still Kira. Only his appearance has changed. nothing more. This thing is what murdered L.
"What are you trying to do?" I ask, knowing what the answer was before the words left my mouth.
"Win."
Kira lunges at me, reaching for my throat. I jump to the right, dodging him. I'm not a fighter. He knows this. He's trying to find my weak spot. I won't let him take over again. This is my body. Not ours to share.
"It was never truly your body, Light. From infancy, society formed you and made you who you are. Nothing about you is truly yours. Your clothing, your attitude, your friends, even your face are all a result of society. I'm original. I saw how wretched your world was, so here I am to fix it. With or without you."
He gets up and brushes off gravel and dirt. In his eyes, I see a semblance of emotion. Rage. Unfiltered and uncontrollable rage. He jumps back up to me and pulls a notebook out of his pocket. The words "Death Note" are carved on the front. He flips open the book with a smile creeping across his face.
"That'll kill us both! What are you doing?!" I shout trying to pull the notebook from him. His hand strikes me across the face, making me fall off the tower I was standing on. I scream, expecting to fall, but gravity suddenly disappears and I'm trapped floating in midair. I can't move my arms to try and get back, I'm just stranded in nothing. Kira walks towards me. He throws the book off to the side, chuckling.
"You're right. How foolish of me. This is why I need you Light. You think everything through. Too bad you seem to have acquired a sense of humanity. A shame, really. One meager death, all for the greater good, and then you decide you've had enough. I hate to say it, but I think I might miss you. I don't want to do this to you, but you leave me no choice.
He reaches for my neck. I try to fight back, but my arms and legs are immobile. I feel his cold hands wrap around my throat. He pulls my from where I was floating and pushes me to the ground. My head hits the hard roof of the tower. He presses his thumbs into my windpipe. My lungs begin to burn and my head is pounding. I try gasping, but it's impossible to breath. He throws his head back and cackles. I feel more pressure being applied to my throat. The world around me spins and starts going dark. I find it hard to keep my eyes open. I feel my heart slowing and my muscles going limp. Kira looks down at me and smiles.
""Hey Light, say 'Hi' to L for me."
Then it all disappears...
I am Kira