Legend of The Phyllis: Legend of the Crystals

Hey there. Welcome aboard the Phyllis, the first, and as far as I'm concerned, the best restaurant in space. You see, I'm Jay E.C. Taylor and I'm the Business Executive of this fine vessel/restaurant/what ever else I can't think of right now. Basically, that means that I'm the guy who sits in the back, manages money, and comes out to yell at people, just because I can. Hey, it's not all fun and games. You see, the Phyllis wasn't always the Phyllis. It used to be a ship owned by a very, very, powerful man...that is until Ms. Phyllis herself and her band of..."merry workers", stumbled upon this wonderful ship and..."occupied" the vessel, and well, flew off in it, becoming the biggest thieves this side of the galaxy. That's right, Ms. Phyllis' crew is the most wanted group of bandits in the entire Earth Federation Galaxy System (EFGS). That's a fancy term for the place YOU call "the solar system". Oh yeah, I forgot...it's the year 2010 and we can travel through space now. And to pretty much anywhere else. You wouldn't believe the weather on Jupiter. It's really nice in the winter. But I digress. Anyhow, this is the story of how Ms. Phyllis and her notorious band of "Space Pirate/Chefs" and how they (they includes myself, who does much more than just count money and yell at people) got into quite possibly, the biggest dilemma in the whole universe.

CHAPTER 1

"SHAAAAAAAAAAAWN!" Ms Phyllis roared.

"Coming boss!" Shawn yelled back. Shawn was 22 and being bossed around by a 50, possibly 60, year old women wasn't his idea of "fun". He didn't actually know, since no one (and that means no one) ever asks her age. Shawn was a big, aloof young fellow with the build of...well, a butcher. Ms. Phyllis had the build of a nice old granny who would make you cookies and milk and brownies when you were sad (which, if I might add, taste very good). However, she had a bite MUCH worse than her bark and would beat you senselessly if you said otherwise. She was also the head cook, and no body messes with the head cook. So, Shawn went to go do her bidding. Phyllis went to the back as Shawn went to the front. "PHYLLIS!" Shawn yelled once more. However, Ms. Phyllis was to busy pulling David and Lauren apart from each other's embrace.

"What the HELL are you two doing!" she roared once more.

"What?" David inquired as he went back to his post at the front desk. Lauren, a young girl of 15 and a half, quickly ran back to the tables, her own post, and pretended like nothing had happened, so as not to stir the "Phyllis-beast". Josh Duncan, or just Duncan as he preferred to be called, was busy fretting over an open stove as Josh Fruth, or just Fruth as he preferred to be called, was busy running in circles trying to figure out what the hell they were going to do. At that exact moment, Doug, another fellow, ran up to the stove and simply turned the dial down low to lower the flames.

"Thanks Doug," Fruth and Duncan said simultaneously.

"No prob," Doug said in his nasally voice.

"I CAN NOT DEAL WITH THIS!" yelled Cindy, a 15-year Old Spanish girl, who was throwing a fit over some annoying customers at table 17.

"You will go back out there and serve those people food!" yelled Stephanie, another young 15-year-old girl.

"YOU DO IT!" screamed Cindy as Stephanie and her started to squabble.

"SHAAAAAAAWN!" roared Phyllis once more.

"COMMING!" yelled Shawn as he mumbled curse words under her breath.

"What's going on?" said Megan, yet another 15 year old girl, who, unfortunately, was a total ditz.

"Get back to the bar Megan, this isn't our problem...yet," whispered Vicky, a 17 year old girl who's personality showed her arrogance.

"Ladies, were busy at the baAar...," said Anthony Barrett, a 15 and a half-year-old male who was more cynical than I can actually describe, who threw his arms around each of the female bartenders.

"Eww, fine were going back," exclaimed Vicky

"SHAAAAAAAAAAWN!" roared Phyllis again.

"COOMMMMMMMMING!" Shawn roared back. Yes, it was all complete chaos. It was at this time I, Jay E.C. Taylor, decided to use some of my "authority" to calm the madness. I stepped outside my office and simply whistled...loudly...so loudly, in fact, that everyone stopped and looked at me like I was Jesus just coming out of hell with the devil's head in my hand.

"Yo, people...SHUT UP!" I yelled. "You!" I pointed at Anthony and the barmaids. "Get back to the bar! YOU!" I pointed at the fighting waitresses. "Meet me later, but get back to work right now. YOU!" I pointed at the three bafoons who decided to become "chefs". "Make food, not flames. AND YOU!" I pointed at Phyllis. "Give me a hug, I need some luvin' chief!" Phyllis smiled and gave me a hug.

"Awww Jay, thanks!" she said. I smiled as she gave me another hug and stuck my tongue out at Shawn. He waved his fist in anger and we both smiled at our inside joke. "Now Shawn, can you please get me the..."

"...butter," Shawn said with a smile as he finished her sentence and handed it to her.

"Thank you, Shawn," she said. And with that, the dinner rush ended. The customers left, the bar bums fled, the happy families went back home, happily full, and all was at peace aboard the Phyllis.

"So...when you gonna' smash that?" Duncan inquired.

"What the hell?" I replied back.

"You know, Cindy."

"What! No, no, no, no, you got it alllllll wrong."

"What, you just want to play with her or something?"

"NO! I mean I don't like her like that!"

"Oh really?"

"Really"

"Really what?" It was Doug.

"Nothing"

"Just Taylor trying to boink Cindy"

"I'M NOT TRYING TO HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH THAT WOMAN!" an eerie silence followed my furious yelling.

"Sooo...are you going to?" asked Doug.

I bit my lip, "No Doug. No I am not."

"Okay then..."

"JAY!" It was Cindy. "I missed you all day."

"Uh...yeah, me too..." I responded.

"Hey, what did you mean by you wanted to 'see me later'?"

"Uh...nothing...it was a joke."

"Oh, well fine then!" Cindy said as she walked off.

"Wait...CINDY!"

"I told you he wanted to boink her," Duncan said to Doug.

"I DON'T!" and with that the two of them ran off. We were all in the back. That's where we all "lived" with one another. We call it the bunks, since there's two beds to every room and we all have to live together. That is, with the exception of Shawn and Phyllis who have rooms to themselves. The rest of us have a seprate hall, which we named...da' bunks. Each room has space for two and we all live on this hall. Of course, only one room has a boy and girl in it. That would be room 3, David and Lauren's room. You know what's going on it THAT room. I bunk with Fruth, Duncan and Doug share a room, Cindy and Stephanie share a room, and Megan and Vicky bunk together. Oh yeah, and then there's Barrett, who has his own room...lucky bastard...

VWEH! VWEH! VWEH!

Red lights started flashing every where as all of the people in the Bunks ran to the main deck, the floor above the dining area and two floors above the Bunks.

"All Phyllis personnel report to the Main Deck. All Phyllis personnel report to the Main Deck." a computer message sounded out.

"Everybody, man your stations, we got another cop on our tail!" It was Phyllis yelling out the main orders. As I mentioned earlier, the Phyllis is stolen. And because of that, there is a...how do I say this...a "bounty" on each of our "heads". SO, we get attacked...a lot...a whole lot...in fact, it's like every other day if I'm not mistaken. Anyway, everyone ran to their posts, considering how many times we had done this before and proceeded to start our attack. Phyllis pressed a button at her main seat in the middle of the main deck and the Phyllis Pirate Chefs flag raised high into the air. It's funny. For a ship to be so notorious, yet still manage to make revenue from willing customers who don't care whether or not we're full-fledged pirates. Yet again, I digress. All the members ran to the main deck as well, while Barrett, Duncan and myself all ran to the hangar. The three of us ran wordlessly to the front gate of the hangar and went down the elevator.

"So...you think these guys are any good?" Barrett asked.

"Never under estimate your opponents," I replied.

"Nah' yo', I ain't beat!" Duncan exclaimed. "I know these dudes are some friggen' pussies."

"Yo'...watch your mouth!" Barrett said as he smacked Duncan.

"Hey! Shut up!" Duncan said as he smacked Barrett back.

"Hey! Stop fighting amongst yourselves!" I said as I smacked both of them. At that moment, we reached the bottom and proceeded to run to our respective mobile suits. We're not actually sure exactly what everyone else considers them, but that's what we call them. Duncan's mobile suit is called "Bad Robot" after some stupid little afterthought from some show from...2004 or something. Barrett's is called "Deathbringer", no matter how cliched that name is. My suit is named simply, "Frank", since Phyllis named mine without my knowledge and before I could get hold of it. So, Bad Robot, Deathbringer, and Frank are the three most deadly suits in the whole EFGS (even if we're not there), who happened to be piloted by three crazy kids. We all launched out of the hangar and into the battlefield, where the three of us found ourselves fighting 9 other suits, owned by the Xgen Federation of Planets (XGFP). The XGFP's suits were called Beavers and they weren't the deadliest things we had fought against, but in the right hands, they could be very dangerous.

"Alpha formation boys!" Phyllis exclaimed over the soundboard. "Let's make 'em retreat before they even get close to the ship!"

"Fire when ready!" Shawn yelled to the part of the crew who controlled the firearms on the ship. They began to fire. Fruth sat in a seat above Ms. Phyllis with a bored look on his face. Megan worked the radar screen as Vicky and Stephanie worked communications. Doug, David, Cindy, and Lauren all worked the cannons. As they shot the ships main cannons, the three of us formed into Alpha position and proceeded to wipe out all of the Beavers. Barrett strafed one's fire and took it out with a single slash of his beam scythe. Duncan shot one out of the sky with a single shot of his beam rifle. I proceeded to fly toward the ship, slicing through two beavers with Frank's beam sword on my way to the opposing ship.

"Taylor, what are you doing?" Vicky asked from the soundboard. "You're getting close to their ship! Hurry up and get back, they've already surrendered!"

"Huh?" I replied. At that same moment, the three remaining Beavers retreated back to their main ship. "This is Taylor. I'm coming back"

"Good!" Vicky yelled. "And hurry the hell up!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming...damn, angsty bruja hah."

"I HEARD THAT!"

As Frank and I flew back to the ship, I noticed a small escape pod. It had a symbol to a nation that was unknown to me. This is strange, only because I pride myself in knowing all the places we travel to on the Phyllis. Out of curiosity, I used Frank's mighty hands to gently grab the pod and take it back with me. I had no idea what kind of trouble I was bringing upon the crew and myself.

"What exactly is that?" Duncan asked as I started to look at the escape pod.

"Duh, it's an escape pod Duncan!" Barrett said with a slap to Duncan's head.

"The only smacking being done around here will be me!" said Phyllis as she walked into the hangar and smacked Barrett in the head. "Now Jay: what exactly caused you to bring this back to the Phyllis?"

"Well, it was an escape pod and..." I began to respond

"...but I don't recognize this nations symbol," Vicky interrupted.

"Well..." I attempted to explain.

"You were worried...again...and so you picked up another straggler...again." Shawn said as he rubbed his hand into his head.

"It better be a girl," Barrett whispered to Duncan. At that moment, the pod began to open and everyone stepped back. A moment later, a young girl, with light blue hair, fell out of the pod, completely nude, straight into my arms. She opened up her eyes and leaned her mouth up to my ears and whispered something I didn't understand. This was proceeded by mass chaos, in which Ms. Phyllis and Vicky proceeded to yell at myself and the other three males to leave them and the other girls alone as they proceeded to clothe her and explain to her where she was at and other nonsense.

"Oh my god, you look so adorable in this!"

"I love your blue hair, is it natural?"

"You can bunk with us instead of Barrett!"

"How old are you?"

"Where are you from?"

"How long is she staying?"

"SILENCE!" The voice of reasoning came from Phyllis as she threw the other girls out the door...literally. "Sorry about that. There just happy to see a new face." She said this with the most sincerity and the biggest smile she could find.

"It's alright," the mysterious girl said in a small voice. She was small and skinny, and with the long, oversized shirt and in the short jeans she wore, she looked very cute. She had long, blue hair that she had up in a ponytail.

"So, the little one does talk. What's your name anyway?" Ms. Phyllis asked.

"Umm...my name is Fia." she replied.

"Fia? That's an interesting name. Where do you come from, Fia?"

"I...I came from Spivalice. It's a small planet in the 6th sector."

"Ahhh, the 6th sector," Ms. Phyllis said, trying to act like she actually knew where the 6th sector was. "And how old are you?"

"16, ma'am"

"Ahh, 16...good times, goood times," Ms. Phyllis reminisced.

"Um, Ms. Phyllis, ma'am, if I may ask...where am I?"

"You're on the Phyllis, the first ever space restaurant. We're currently in the 10th sector." Ms Phyllis replied. A silence followed.

"So...what now?" Fia asked.

"Now, we decide where you're going to stay"

"WHAAAAT!" Barrett yelled in annoyance. "Your not telling me that Fruth HAS to move into my room!"

"I DON'T WANNA' LEAVE!" Fruth cried as Shawn was moving his stuff. "TAYLOR HAS A PSP! IT'S TOO PRETTY!"

"It's not for you to decide," Shawn said back as he threw Fruth's witchcraft books into his new room, room 5. "Besides, the Boss has spoken: 'Jay rescued Fia, Jay has to LIVE with Fia, teach her the tricks of the trade' and so on and so forth."

"I'll teach her some tricks of the trade," Duncan said with a smile.

"NOT THOSE TRICKS!" Shawn yelled as he smacked Duncan with his meat-cleaving arm.

"Hey, I offered to let her bunk with me," Vicky said. "But nooooo, she has to be with Taylor"

"Your Jealous, aren't you?" David said with Lauren hanging onto him.

"David, stop teasing Vicky," Lauren said with a laugh as David massaged her breasts.

"Wha's going on?" Doug said, just awakening from his slumber.

"Jay is getting a new roomy...a GIRL roomy" Megan said, as she stumbled out with a long shirt, but without any pants on. Stephanie walked out with no shirt, but a bra on.

"No way! Taylor's finally gonna get laid!"

"Wait!" Cindy came busting out. "I'M supposed have sex with Jay! What's that hussy doing in there with him?"

"Uh...guys?" I tried to say, but to no advail.

"SHAD UP!" roared Phyllis. "Fia is moving in with Jay as punishment for bringing Fia back without permission!"

"Maybe I should get in trouble more often," Duncan said under his breath as Shawn smacked him once more.

"Some punishment...I'd like to be punished...," Barrett said as he too was smacked by Shawn.

"Besides!" Cindy argued. "That's just an excuse for premarital sex!"

"Oh come on," Ms. Phyllis said. "There's no way that Josh would dare do something like that, he's to wimpy!"

"I AM NOT!" I yelled in protest.

"Oh, well, it's time for bed all of you. Lights out!" Phyllis yelled and with that, all protest stopped.

"Sooooo...your name's Fia, right?" I asked.

"Yeah..." Fia said, blushing. I looked her.

"Why're you blushing?" I inquired.

"Umm, well...you saved me and all and..." Fia's voice trailed off. "I don't know how I could ever repay you."

"You don't have to repay me." I responded. "I'm just glad your safe." There was an eerie silence after that.

"Thank you," Fia replied and with that, we both drifted off to sleep

CHAPTER 2

DING, DING, DING, DING, DING DIIIIIIIIING! The early morning bell rang as everybody groggily awoke from their slumber. "This can't be good for my complexion" I heard Vicky whine from outside. I walked over to Fia and nudged her to wake up.

"Yo, Fia, time to wake up."

"Wuh," Fia said in a tired voice.

"It's time to get dressed," I replied, as I finished putting on my shirt,

"Oh...okay," Fia said in her timid voice. We both stood there for a minute until it finally clicked for me.

"OHH! Sorry, I'll give you some privacy," I said as I left the room. After about another minute of waiting, Fia came out in a waitress outfit that was short towards the bottom. "She must have borrowed it from someone," I thought. She had her blue hair tied up in a ponytail again and was blushing.

"Umm, Jay, do you think this outfit is a little too revealing?" she asked.

"N-n-no, you look...really cute actually." I answered, my face turning a light red.

"R-really, you think so?" she said timidly.

"Stop flirting you two and hurry up," David said as he walked by, trying to put his jacket on. Right after that, Duncan walked by and dropped a coin and bent over to pick it up.

"Whoops, dropped my lucky penny," Duncan said as he went to pick it up and attempted to look up Fia's dress. At this moment, my foot made contact with Duncan's gut and he was snapped back onto his feet.

"HEY! Why does everyone keep hitting me!" He exclaimed. Barrett came up and smacked him.

"Because, your black Duncan!"

"I'm black?"

"Uh...yeah, duh!"

"No way!" Duncan replied as him and Barrett argued on.

Taking this opportunity, I took Fia's hand and led her to the elevator that lead to the Dining Area. Fia blushed as we entered the elevator.

"Uhh..." Fia mumbled.

"Hmm?" I said, failing to realize her red face.

"Well...what exactly did Mrs. Phyllis mean when she said "Tricks of the Trades?"

"Oh, we run a restaurant."

"Huh?"

"Well, you see, I'm the 'Business Executive', and it's my job to figure out where you should work at."

"Umm..."

"Basically, it means I'm going to help you find out where you should help out at and teach you what to do."

"Ohhhh," Fia said. "So, where do you think I should work at?"

"Well, you do look good in that Waitress outfit-...ER, Uniform," I replied.

"You mean I'm going to be a waitress!" she gasped. I was left speechless. This was the first time I had ever heard Fia raise her voice.

"U-huh, is that a bad idea?" I asked.

"Well, no...it's just," she stammered.

"Just..."

"Well, I'm just not very good with people," she said.

"You, bad with people?" I said, puzzled. "You talk to me without being nervous at all."

"Well, your different. It's...easier to talk to you." she said quietly as she blushed. Before I could respond, the elevator door opened up and we were at the Dining Hall. David was busy getting ready, while the waitresses were chatting about the hottest guy who came to the restaurant yesterday. Doug and Fruth were starting up the grills, complaining about Duncan's lateness.

"So, whadda' ya' think?" I asked Fia.

"Looks kinda' hectic." She replied.

"It is," I assured her as Vicky came out in her bartender uniform.

"Hey Fia, Taylor treating you right?" Vicky asked. Fia nodded her head.

"Yes, Josh has been very nice to me." she replied.

"Hey, if he ever treats you bad, just tell me, I'll take care of him," she assured Fia.

"Stop picking on the 'Business Executive' before he puts you on janitorial duty." Megan said, as she walked out of the girls' locker room. She wore the same uniform that Vicky had on, but filled it out much better than Vicky did. Duncan and Barrett came out of the elevator and were busy whispering about something.

"Alright everyone, listen up!" It was Shawn, who headed off breakfast and lunch. Breakfast and lunch were both very non-cholant, so Ms. Phyllis didn't really need to do anything until mid-lunch. "Everyone here? Okay...good. Now, same routine as usual, just don't mess anything up."

"Come on Shawn, when was the last time we messed anything up?" Duncan asked sarcastically.

"Well, remember last week when you blew up the stove when you forgot to turn off the burners?" Shawn replied angrily.

"Hey, that was Doug's fault! HE was supposed to remind me." Duncan said.

"Yeah, well I was in the bathroom at the time." Doug reminded Duncan.

"Yeah, about that, you really need to stop doing that." Duncan said.

"What, bowel movements?" Stephanie said from over by the waitress's circle.

"Quiet time!" Doug yelled.

"Bite me!" Stephanie replied.

"HEY!" Shawn yelled. "Just work together and don't mess anything up, okay?"

"Ugh," Fia sighed. "Being a waitress is hard."

"Yeah, well considering it's your first day, I think you did pretty well," Stephanie said to Fia. "Besides, it's not like you didn't end up with all the EASY tables."

Fia was unfortunate to have some of the worst people on the Breakfast/Lunch shift. She had the group of old people who really didn't know what was going on, she had the drunkard, and worst of all, the snooty rich parents who believed their children were geniuses.

"So I did good?" Fia asked.

"Real good," Stephanie replied as she smiled at Fia. Stephanie didn't know what it was about Fia. She liked Fia. Fia was a good person, who was trying to make the best of things. "Hey Fia?" she asked.

"Yeah?" Fia responded.

"Aren't you afraid? You know, to be so far away from home?"

"No...not really. I don't really remember much about home."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Hmm..." Stephanie contemplated this. At this moment, a group of Juvenile Delinquents barged through the door.

"Yo', dawg, you got an open table? Me and my boys need some grub," the leader of the bunch said in an annoying voice to David.

"Uhh, yeah, right this way." David said as he led them to a booth in the back.

"Uh-oh," Stephanie said as David seated them.

"Hmm?" Fia asked.

"It's another group of ass holes," she said without any sign of offense. "And worse, they're at your table."

"Oh no!" Fia gasped. "What'll I do?"

"I'll take care of it," Stephanie offered, but before she could get up, Fia stood up.

"No, I'll do it. I got to prove to Josh that I can do this." Fia said. Shocked, Stephanie let her walk over to the thugs. "How're you doing?" Fia asked them with a big, bright smile on her face. Shocked at how cute Fia was, the leader of the pack almost didn't speak.

"U-u-u-huh, fine, could we get a couple of sodas?" he barely managed to say.

"Coming right up!" she said as she walked off. As she was filling the sodas, she noticed Duncan and Doug staring at her and the thugs, then witnessed Fruth dragging the two of them off. She laughed a little, then proceeded to fill up five cups of soda and bring them back to their table. As she handed them their drinks, she failed to notice the five of them staring at her breasts. "Okay then, have you decided on what you guys want?" she asked.

"Uh, yeah," the leader said. "I'll have the Phyllis special."

"Yeah, I'll have the three egg special," said another.

"Me too."

"French Toast with Bacon please."

"The Canadian Bacon Breakfast."

"Alright then," Fia said with a smile. She went back, not noticing the thugs staring at her some more and whispering naughty intent towards her.

"Hey, you okay?" Stephanie asked Fia as she walked by.

"Yeah, they're really not as bad you said they were." Fia replied. Fia walked back out there with their meals.

"Thanks a bunch, honey," the leader of the pack said. Fia didn't understand what they meant when they called her "honey", but shrugged it off as them just being nice.

"Uhh, you sure those dudes aren't bothering you?" Fruth asked Fia.

"No, they're really not," Fia told Fruth as Fruth looked on in disgust of the "gangsters". "So, is there anything else I can help you with boys?" she asked them. The leader of the pack smiled.

"Uh, yeah, you could help escort us out of here," he replied as he and his boys all pulled out guns and pointed them at her and around her. "Now, come along quietly." Duncan and Doug came running out to stop her captors.

"We'll stop you honkies!" they said simultaneously. Unfortunately, they couldn't stop the "gangsters", as both of them were both pistol-whipped away from them.

"Hold up!" David stood in their way trying to stop them as the leader held Fia by her mouth and pointed his gun at David's face.

"Move please," he said.

"Okay," David replied as he moved out of the way. As the five gangsters started to leave, they were halted by myself.

"Uh, excuse me sirs, what exactly do you plan on doing with this young girl?" I asked them. The leader pointed his gun at my face.

"Yo', I'm not playin' dawg, get outta' my way," he said.

"Uh, not before I do this," I said, and with that, I proceeded to remove the gun from his hand, shoot him in the foot, release Fia from his grasp, and pistol whip the next to men into the two behind them. At this, David proceeded to stomp the living crap out of the four cronies, as Fruth came out with the air horn to stop the madness.

"Yo, stop the violence, increase the peace!" he yelled at all of us. Phyllis came storming out.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON OUT HERE!" she roared.

"Well, you see Phyllis," Shawn tried to explain.

"GET THESE PUNKS OUTTA' MY RESTURAUNT!" she roared once more, as Shawn, David, and Fruth threw the thugs into their ship. "Now Jay, tell me what happened here."

"Annnnd, that's about what happened here," I finished explaining to her. We were alone and she had good reason to ask me what had happened.

"Now, I know that you've seemed to have...changed since that time with that crystal, but you know how dangerous it is to use the powers it gave you," she said quietly.

"I know, I know...it's just hard to not use them…sometimes."
"And you know just how dangerous it is for you, it takes way too much out of you every time you tap into the crystal's power! Look at you right now, your exhausted!"

"I'm not...tired...Phyllis."

"Yeah, not tired, wiped out!"

"I'm fine...but thank you for your concern." I said, getting up to leave.

"Just be careful Jay, okay?" she said with concern in her voice.

"I will," I said with a smile as I walked out of her office. I left her office and bumped right into Stephanie.

"You used it, didn't you?" she asked.

"Not now Stephanie," I said angrily.

"You know we're not supposed to," she said.

"I know Stephanie," I replied.

"So then, why'd you do it? Why'd you use it?" she said as she stopped me.

"Because I had to...I wanted to..." I stammered. She grabbed my face with both of her soft hands and looked at me.

"You wanted to protect somebody...again..." she said. "I know, it's the same reason you use every single time you use it." She rolled her eyes. "Now, lets go see how Fia's doing."

CHAPTER 3

"Jay!" Fia squealed as she jumped at me. "How'd you do that? Are you okay, Ms. Phyllis looked worried."

"Oh, nah, I'm fine." I replied.

"Seriously?" she asked.

"Seriously," Stephanie said from behind me. "Now the real question is, are you okay?"

"Oh, I'm fine," Fia explained. "I was really scared though."

"I'm scary! OW!" Duncan said as Cindy smacked the ice bag onto his head. Cindy looked real mad and was even more mad when she realized that I was spending less time with her and more time with Fia...AND I had a reason to.

"Ah shut up you stupid baby!" she yelled at Duncan. Fia giggled at the sight of Duncan and Cindy acting like a married couple.

"Do they like each other?" she whispered to Stephanie.

"Not really, Cindy likes Jay here, and Duncan likes..." Stephanie started.

"Duncan likes 'hott gurls'," I explained.

"Umm, what does that mean?" she asked.

"It means that he wants to 'get with' any girl he can find," Stephanie said.

"STEPHANIE! Do you have to be so blunt?" I yelled.

"Hey, honesty is the best policy," she replied.

"Yeah, but you could sugar coat it a little!" I stammered.

"Umm, Stephanie, what did you mean by 'get with'?" Fia asked.

"Uhh, not now Fia, I'll tell you later," I told her.

"So, where exactly are we?" Vicky asked as she looked outside from one of the booth seats in the restaurant. The dinner rush had just ended and wasn't as serious as we had thought it would be.

"We're over the planet Nike," Shawn explained to her.

"Nike? As in the shoe?" Doug asked.

"No, as in the planet and the goddess," Shawn said, forgiving Doug's ignorance. Doug shrugged his shoulders and headed to the back where Duncan and Fruth were setting up a PS3 and getting ready to play 'Quest of Mana', a 3-player game.

"Why're we over Nike?" Barrett asked.

"Phyllis wants to get some supplies from here," Shawn answered.

"What, does she want some new shoes?" Cindy asked.

"I don't know what she wants!" Shawn exclaimed. "All I know is that she sent Stephanie, Taylor, Fia, and herself down to that planet to go get something!"

"Hey, you don't gotta' yell!" Cindy yelled back at him.

"Wha's everybody yellin' about?" Megan asked as she woke up from her sleep.

"Nothing Megan, just some non-sense," Vicky assured her as she gave Megan a hug.

Duncan was watching Vicky hug Megan. "Oooo, hot girl on girl action!" he exclaimed. Fruth smacked Duncan with a PS3 controller.

"Stop getting all worked up and help us beat this boss!" Fruth yelled.

"Soooo, what are we looking for now? Priceless artifacts, Rare Jewels, Lovely Women?" I asked sarcastically.

"None of those actually," Phyllis said a-matter-o-factly. "We're actually looking for a factory."

"A factory? Out here in the middle of the jungle?" Fia asked. We had been transported to Nike, via the spaceship, and were now travelling through the jungle's of Nike. This particular jungle was called the 'Jordan Jungle'.

"That's right," Ms. Phyllis said.

"But why would they put a factory out here in the middle of a jungle?" Fia asked.

"How should I know?" Ms. Phyllis said. "All I know is that a reliable source said there was a factory right around..." Phyllis paused. "...Here!" We walked out of a bush and saw a huge opening in which a giant factory was at. The factory was huge, bigger than some ships I had seen. It was black and gray and looked completely out of place here in the middle of a jungle.

"So...what kind of 'reliable source', was this Ms Phyllis?" Stephanie asked.

"Always trust the people's words at a restaurant," Phyllis said with a smile.

"Now, time to get what we came for."

"Which is?" I asked.

"Oh, just the blueprints to something very valuable," Phyllis chuckled.

"Okay then," I said, letting my voice trail off. We all looked at the giant structure.

"So, how are we going to get in there?" Stephanie asked.

"With this," Phyllis said as she pulled out a giant bazooka.

"Is that the Slim Fast Bazooka Duncan made to ward off fat people?" I asked.

"Yes," she grunted as Fia helped load it up with a missile. "Yes it is. And we're going to use it to blow the living bagebus outta' of that there building."

"Is it alright if we blow it up?" Fia asked.

"Well, not really," Stephanie admitted. "But we want what's inside of there and because of that, blowing it up isn't so bad."

I sighed. "So where do I factor into this equation?"

"You, Stephanie, and Fia are going to sneak into there, while I distract the guards and such," Ms. Phyllis said.

"WHAT!" we all exclaimed, but it was too late. Ms. Phyllis launched the giant can of slim fast.

"GO GO GO!" she exclaimed and we were off.

Huff, huff, huff. We we're all tired from the running we had been doing.

"It would have...helped...if Phyllis...had told us...where this blueprint...was at," Stephanie managed to spit out.

"Well, I don't know!" I exclaimed. I was in much better shape and had better stamina than Stephanie, but I was still sweating. Fia, however, looked totally calm, not even looking phased by the long dash we had made into the factory. We had been running for about 3 minutes, but at full speed. Stephanie looked at Fia.

"Fia, what's up with you? You don't even look tired!" she exclaimed.

Fia blushed. "Oh, I used to run long distance when I lived on Spivalce."

I looked at her skeptically. "Really now?"

"Really," she said. Just then, a bullet was shot just over our heads.

"Hey, there's the intruders!" yelled a guard with a gruff voice.

"Run!" Stephanie yelled as Fia and I started to run the other direction. Just then, Fia stopped.

"Fia! What are you doing?" I exclaimed. Fia started to mouth something, but I couldn't figure out what she said. At that moment, a bullet rang out and time seemed to slow down. In less than a second, I watched a bullet fly towards Fia, a bullet bounce off of Fia and a bright flash of light blind out the room. The entire building started to collapse upon us as I blacked out.

"Woooh, we got it!" Ms. Phyllis said with pride in her voice, stepping over some rubble. "Good thing the generator exploded when it did or else I don't think we would have made it!" Ms. Phyllis was very proud of herself and us, now that she had successfully 'stolen' the 'blueprints'. WE had all thought that what she wanted was the blueprints to some super secret weapon or to some government plan for world domination.

"I can't believe you risked our lives for a RECIPE!" I yelled at Phyllis. You see, Phyllis' 'blueprint' was indeed blue, and indeed, it was in print, but it was a blueprint to a rare new type of pasta sauce, not some super secret weapon or some government plan for world domination.

"Hey, it's the rarest pasta sauce in the world! AND it belongs to us!" she roared as she laughed maniacally.

"It better taste good," Stephanie said angrily. She had passed out before Fia had lighted up, so she ,too, thought that the 'generator' had 'exploded'. However, this was just what I told Phyllis and Stephanie. Fia didn't say anything, but she knew that I had seen what had really happened.

"Oh it will," Phyllis assured us. "Oh it will!" Just then, we got a ring on our com-link. It was Duncan.

"Hey, honkies! What'd you find?" he asked.

"Pasta," I replied.

"Pasta SAUCE, Josh, Pasta SAUCE," Phyllis corrected.

"Wait, you mean you spent entire day down with two hot girls and the chief and didn't get any butt?" Duncan exclaimed.

"DUNCAN! Are you on the com-link again!" Shawn yelled outside of the view of the com-link.

"No, I swear it," Duncan lied.

Shawn busted in. "You are, you perverted little bastard! You're looking up porn again, aren't you!"

"No, of course not!"

"Ha, see, it's right here under the link! You lying perverted bastard!"

"No wait, don't hit me with...AAAH!" Duncan was just brutally smacked with a mallet that Shawn had named 'Duncan's Happy Medicine'.

"Sorry boss, do you need us to beam you up?" Shawn asked.

"Yes, please!" Phyllis exclaimed.