Insomnia - written by Corli

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Merry and Pippin both have trouble sleeping after they've shared their first kiss.

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Merry couldn't sleep.

Of course, how could he be EXPECTED to sleep after what had just happened? Especially when Pippin now lay just inches away from him in the darkness, snoring away.

Of course, sharing a bed with Pippin wasn't a new experience. They'd done it off and on their entire lives, and every night this summer. But now everything had changed. Every snore, every stir, every touch made Merry feel a surge of energy pulse through him. And he was supposed to fall ASLEEP under these circumstances?

And Pippin had just laughed when Merry suggested he sleep on the floor. "Why would you want to do THAT?" Pippin has asked, completely oblivious to Merry's distress. But THIS was why. Merry knew that he'd never be able to fall asleep with each snore ruffling his hair.

'I'm not gonna fall asleep,' Merry thought to himself, 'so why even bother trying?'

Opening his eyes, Merry stared at the sleeping face on the pillow next to him. Through the darkness, Merry could see Pippin's curls matted against the pillow, his long eyelashes fluttering against his cheek, his mouth hung open as he slept. But once Merry's eyes fell upon Pippin's lips they stayed there, unable to be averted. Those lips had kissed him. Those lips had touched his. Those lips had changed EVERYTHING.

Pippin stirred somewhat in his sleep, his foot brushing softly against Merry's shin. Without thinking, Merry jerked his leg away and then scolded himself for doing so. 'He's still just Pippin,' he reminded himself.

But that wasn't really true, for now he was so much more. He was Pippin who had kissed him, Pippin who had touched him, Pippin whom he wanted to hold for the rest of his life.

Merry sighed frustratedly and rolled onto his back. He was gonna be a wreck tomorrow without sleep, and he wished he could just turn off his mind for awhile. 'Perhaps I should try counting sheep,' Merry thought even as his mind turned once again to the evening's events, reliving them again and again.

Pippin's snore suddenly turned into a snort, waking himself for an instant before turning over onto his other side so that his back was now to Merry. His even breathing returned, although the snores did not, and Merry thought he heard Pippin whisper something through the darkness.

"What?" Merry asked, turning back onto his side and staring at Pippin's curls.

Pippin turned his head slightly and mumbled groggily, "You can spoon me if you want." He reached back blindly with his free arm and fumbled around until he found Merry's hand, taking it and pulling it over so he could snuggle it against his chest.

His hand held so prisoner, Merry had no choice but to scooch forward on the bed till he was indeed spooning Pippin, his chest ever so slightly touching Pippin's back, his thighs brushing against Pippin's. Merry held his breath, thinking that he'd NEVER fall asleep now.

But he was wrong. For the safety and warmth he now felt, pressed against Pippin so, relaxed and comforted him. He may be Pippin who had kissed him, but he was also Pippin his lifelong friend and confidante. And things were going to be okay, despite the confusion inside his head.

And almost immediately after Pippin's groggy, "G'night," Merry fell fast asleep.

...

Pippin felt hot.

In the early morning half-asleep state he was in, that was the only coherent thought that penetrated his brain - he felt hot. But slowly, as his mind began to surface from dreamy unconsciousness, he realized the cause of his increased body temperature: the body that was pressed tightly against his back.

Waking to find Merry huddled against him was nothing new - the nights often grew chilly here at Crickhollow, and Pippin had long been infamous for stealing covers in his sleep, so a slumbering Merry often sought out the warmth of Pippin's body. When this had happened in the past, Pippin had shoved his friend back to his side of the bed, waking Merry and causing him to grouse good-naturedly: "Cover-stealer! Window-rattler! Why'd I invite you to stay with me again?"

But Pippin wasn't shoving Merry away this morning. Instead, he clutched Merry's arm tighter to his chest and snuggled back into him, his eyes closed so he could concentrate on the sensation of Merry against him.

Mmmmm. Merry. The mere thought of him this morning made Pippin grin with gleeful delight. Up until last night Merry had been his best friend, but now Pippin had crossed that line. There was no going back, no returning to the way things were before. And Pippin knew he had the wine to thank for that.

The thought of the wine made Pippin sigh contentedly. Merry had found the old bottle tucked away in the back of a cupboard, and they'd eagerly launched into it, certain that no one would miss the long misplaced bottle. The wine itself had fermented, giving it a vinegary taste, but they had downed the entire bottle anyway. And Pippin would now remember that taste forever, for Merry's lips had tasted of it when he kissed them.

And Pippin knew he never would've tasted them in the first place if the wine hadn't given him the courage to see what had no doubt been there for some time.

Now, without the warm haze of alcohol muddying his thoughts, Pippin could see things even more clearly as he tried to recall every detail of last night's events.

"Pass the bottle, Pip."

In the morning light, Pippin realized that Merry's words probably weren't quite the invitation he'd imagined them to be last night. But, invited or not, Merry hadn't rejected his kiss. In fact, after the initial surprise had worn off, Merry had kissed him as much as he'd kissed back. And Pippin couldn't have been more pleased with Merry's reaction.

Yet he was quite surprised at his OWN reaction. Pippin had certainly kissed his share of girls back in high school; mostly it had been quite pleasant, but he'd never really had the urge to do more. When those urges DID come, he preferred to just lock himself away in his room, blaring his music. Of course, he could still remember with clarity the day he'd FORGOTTEN to lock his door, and he often wondered if his mother still suffered horrifying flashbacks whenever she heard "Touch Me, Baby" played as muzack in the doctor's office.

But kissing Merry, Pippin had suddenly understood what those boys had been talking about in the locker room. Merry's lips had sent a surge of electricity through his entire body - not to mention his trousers - and Pippin had never wanted that sensation to end.

But it HAD ended. Or at least the KISS had. But now here they were, the two of them snuggled close together in the same bed they'd innocently shared all summer. Pippin couldn't be happier, and he sleepily stretched like a contented cat in Merry's arms. Unfortunately, the movement caused Merry to stir, and Pippin instantly froze in place, not wanting to awaken his sleeping companion.

For Pippin KNEW Merry, and, once awakened, Pippin knew he'd want to talk.

But what was there to talk about? He'd kissed Merry. Merry'd kissed back. It was heaven.

So unless Merry wanted to dig a thesaurus out from the dusty shelves and look up synonyms ("paradise", "bliss", "rapture"), Pippin had no use for words right now.

For Pippin was content just to lie here in Merry's arms, joyous and comfortable despite the heat being generated between them.

And, thus feeling so at ease, Pippin fell back asleep.

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