So, this is called me in a bad mood and desperate for something to do. I rather like the result, actually. Anyway, this takes place in the latter portion of season six, House's POV, as he addresses his relationship with Cuddy.

Disclaimer: I do not own House, M.D.

For A Moment

I don't know how it came to this. I feel like we've just hit an impasse in our relationship. Before, it was fun, it meant something – I insulted you, you insulted me… I tried to go around your authority, and sometimes you could stop me – other times I got away with it. I sarcastically flirted with you, and you teased me back without giving me anything. It was how we dealt with each other.

But now... I don't know what to do. I don't know how to react. We've both changed. But the difference is, you're moving forward, while I'm just shifting sideways, further away. I know things were awkward – I hit an all-time low – but after Mayfield, I'm different. I'm clean. And I thought that was what you wanted. But instead, it's like you've put up walls against me, like there's a new distance between us. And after everything that happened… it hurts.

I can't hide behind drugs anymore – I no longer have that luxury, and frankly, I don't want it. I've come so close to trying to explain myself to you, but I just can't – because I can tell, whenever I look at you, that you don't want to listen. I think you've given up on me. But what I can't understand is why.

How can you ignore me like this? Am I that hopeless to you? I thought you'd at least catch on to how I act, what I say – all the subtle hints I throw out because, I admit it, I'm afraid to say it any more directly. I'm afraid you'll just brush me off, like you always have, and that just won't work anymore.

It kills me every time I see you with Lucas – the way you laugh, smile, kiss him gently, and everything else I know happens but I haven't seen. You think you love him, I know. But I can't believe that it's real – somewhere, buried where you don't have to look at it, I'm sure you want something more than him. I wish I could tell you that I can give you what he can't. But I've never had the chance to find out. And I'm not going to lie to you when I don't know if it's true.

I still don't know how to explain all this to you – I may not even be capable of it. All I can say is – there was a reason why I hallucinated what I did. And it wasn't just a passing fantasy. I can't avoid facing the fact that I feel something for you, that I've always felt something for you. But I don't know if you can reciprocate that, or even accept it.

I just wish that, for a moment, you could understand.

Short, but poignant, I hope. Lighten the atmosphere with some reviews! May the Force be with you.