Curtain Call, a boston legal fanfic

(Alan is in his office going through his mail

(Alan is in his office going through his mail. He opens an envelope and tickets fall out. The card enclosed reads:

Dear Mr. Shore,

I want to thank you again for everything you did for my mother and I. Enclosed are two tickets to a production of "A Midsummer Night's Dream," starring me. I have recently joined a local community theatre group where I can now make other people smile.

Hope you can come

Marissa Deaver)

(Alan looks at the picture that Marissa created for him on the wall and smiles.)

(Denny enters holding a piece of paper, which he plops on Alan's desk)

Denny: "Sign it."

Alan: "Sign what?"

Denny: "Alan, writing on the wall is one thing, but urine is a whole 'nother matter."

(Alan stands and picks up the paper. It is a petition titled, "Ban handicapped from executive washroom")

Alan: "What's this all about, Denny? You can't ban handicapped people from using the restroom."

Denny: "Not all. Him!"

Alan: "Him?"

(Jerry walks by Alan's office and glares at Denny. Denny glares back. Jerry hops and runs away)

Alan: "Jerry?"

Denny: "Alan, he's spraying; like a cat! Haven't you ever wondered why there's stains on the wall. There's only one answer."

(Mimics Jerry by putting his hands on his thighs)

Denny: "The one who can't whip it out!"

Alan: "Where would you like him to go?"

Denny: "We should all chip in. Litter box!"

Alan: (disgusted)"Denny-"

Denny: "The man's a purring pisser!"

Alan: "Denny, where's your compassion?"

Denny: "So you're not gonna sign it?"

(Denny picks up the tickets on Alan's desk"

Denny: (disgusted) "Shakespeare?"

Alan: "A friend sent me the tickets. Wanna go?"

Denny: "Wanna sign?"

(Cue theme. End Scene)

(Denny and Shirley are in Shirley's office)

Shirley: (reading) "'Ban handicapped from using executive washroom?' Denny, you can't be serious."

Denny: "That purring man is a menace! Something has to be done, Shirley."

Shirley: "He can charge you for slander." (looking at signatures) "Wait a minute, whose signatures are these? Denny these people don't even work here. Are you making up names?"

Denny: (points to name) "That guy works here."

Shirley: "He's a janitor."

Denny: "Exactly. It's his wall he's wizzing on!"

Shirley: "Have you ever actually witnessedhim doing this?"

Denny: "Shirley, who else could it be. How could a man who has no control over his own hands control his own stream?"

Shirley: "I'm not signing it, Denny. And, as a senior partner, I strongly advise you not to show this to anyone else."

(Clarence is walking by Shirley's office. Denny chases him, waving his petition)

Denny: "Clarence!"

(Shirley looks frustrated)

(End Scene)