CHAPTER 1
"Aeryn Allen I presume?"
Albus Dumbledore stood as the newest staff member of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry entered his office. A slight young woman came and stood before his desk and reached across it to shake his hand before taking a seat. She had wavy, pale blonde hair tied back in a loose bun, and large black eyes. "Professor Dumbledore. It's nice to see you again." The young woman smiled at the man who had been headmaster when she attended Hogwarts, over 10 years ago now.
"Please have a seat," Dumbledore said after they shook hands. "I must say" he began, after seating himself, "that I never considered hiring a school counsellor before now, but with the current atmosphere of fear and tension surrounding the rumours of dark wizards, it seemed a prudent idea. Which is why," he smiled, "you are here today."
Aeryn returned his smile. "I know it has been 10 years since I graduated here sir, but honestly it doesn't feel that long. Nothing appears to have changed much."
Dumbledore's eyes twinkled, then became serious. "I was sorry to hear about your father, Aeryn. Such a talented wizard I have never seen before. He is sorely missed."
Aeryn lowered her eyes to the table in front of her, but did not see the lines in the hardwood desk. "Thank you," was all she said. Talking of her father was something she avoided; the topic was still too painful, even though he died over 10 years ago. Feeling Dumbledore wanted more on the subject, but was too polite to enquire, she said "I was lucky to be of age when he died, as my mother...died when I was eight." Dumbledore's bearded face did not change expression over the pause. "I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life then, but at least I wasn't required to go live with another wizarding family. Hogwarts was always like a second family anyway."
"And I'm sure it will be again." Dumbledore said in a much lighter voice, obviously trying to lift her spirits from the previous subject. He fingers formed a steeple in front of his long crooked nose, and he looked deep into her dark eyes. "It's always good to have someone of your talents on board." Aeryn blinked, but kept her face as blank as possible. Was it her imagination, or had he put particular emphasis on the word 'talents'? What does he mean? She thought to herself. Surely he doesn't know my mother-
"But of course we need everyone to be on the ball this year," Dumbledore went on, interrupting her thoughts, "with the Triwizard Tournament being hosted by Hogwarts, and the delegations from Durmstrang and Beaubaxtons arriving later in the year. You might have your hands full."
"I look forward to the challenge sir," she replied.
A brisk rapping at the study door interrupted them. "Come in Professor," Dumbledore called, raising his voice slightly to be heard. The thick, wooded office door opened, producing an older witch with black hair streaked with grey tied in a severe bun at the base of her neck. Walking briskly towards them, Aeryn was under the impression everything this woman did was 'brisk', especially when she recognised her old Transfiguration teacher, Professor McGonagall. As head of Gryffindor House, this was one woman she did not like to cross when she was a student here. And probably still wouldn't.
"Minerva, this is Aeryn Allen who, if you remember, studied here at Hogwarts approximately 10 years ago." Dumbledore said in his quiet, calm voice.
Minerva McGonagall turned her piercing eyes upon Aeryn. "Ah yes, Miss Allen. I remember you as the young lady in my transfiguration class who turned Mr Ryan into a flying pig, 'accidentally', in your first year. Quite a feat for anybody, but unheard of for someone of your age."
Aeryn bit her lip and tried not to smile. She had forgotten that incident. "Yes professor, I do believe that was me. He had been annoying me relentlessly for months though, if you remember."
Professor McGonagall chuckled, her face immediately softening. "Yes, I seem to recall wanting to do that on occasion as well. And I remember you had quite a temper as a teenager. But please, call me Minerva. I'm not your professor here anymore."
Aeryn looked at the floor and grinned. "You'll forgive me if that takes some getting used to."
"Right now though, if you're finished with the Headmaster, I must show you to your rooms, and of course your study where you will be working with the students. I was wondering however," she paused delicately, "you weren't intending on getting inside the heads of your fellow professors at any time, were you? Because I don't believe I would submit to such a...dissecting of my thoughts and fears. No offense intended, of course," she said with a faint smile.
Aeryn laughed and stood up. "No, of course not. It's entirely voluntary. If you feel the need to talk about something to me though, of course I will be available, and if you don't, that's fine as well. I would however like to talk to each student at least once through the year, and if there are any students you feel need help with their study plans, or discipline, I am also willing to help with organising those."
Dumbledore stood also and indicated Aeryn to follow McGonagall, saying, "Of course you may have free reign in your area. And yes, Minerva, I believe we are finished here. I suggest you introduce Ms. Allen to the staff who are here already, before you show her to her rooms." Turning to Aeryn with an ever-present smile on his face, he said "It was a pleasure to meet you again, Miss Allen."
McGonagall walked swiftly through the door and down the stairs to the hall, with Aeryn right behind. As they walked down the flight of stone stairs leading to the Headmasters office, Minerva said "I believe the house elves have prepared a late afternoon tea for the staff before the start of term, so you can meet nearly everyone at once, and get it out of the way." She chuckled. "Although you will probably know most of them from your days here; there haven't been too many staff changes in the last decade. Only the Care of Magical Creatures and Defense Against the Dark Arts professors have changed, I believe."
The staff room, a dark panelled room with mismatching chairs scattered around it, held half a dozen of the regular teachers at present, who were scattered around either singularly or in pairs. Professor Sinistra, the Astronomy teacher, smiled vaguely upon hearing Aeryn was a past student, obviously not remembering her. Aeryn didn't mind. She didn't recall she liked Astronomy that much anyway. Professor Vectra was much the same.
Professor Flitwick, the Charms teacher, was having an animated conversation with Professor Sprout, the Herbology teacher, almost toppling over in his excitement. Aeryn remembered he used to be enthusiastic in almost everything. He shook Aeryn's hand excitedly upon learning who she was. "Yes of course, how could I forget such a talented student? And your father being so famous and all," he said in his squeaky voice. "You were always the first to manage every Charm, and top marks in all your exams! I always wondered how you did it so easily!" Aeryn smiled at his enthusiasm, but neglected to reply.
"Aeryn has been appointed the school counsellor by Albus," Mcgonnall said.
"And what have you been doing with yourself these past years, Aeryn?" Professor Sprout asked genially. Aeryn couldn't for the life of her remember Professor Sprout's first name, but said "Not a great deal, unfortunately. I lived as a Muggle first hand for several years to gain some experience with them, and of course my studies in Psychology and Healing have kept me busy." How exciting I am, thought Aeryn to herself sarcastically.
She wanted to avoid talking about either herself or the years after her father died at any cost, however, and changed the subject with Professor Sprout, including Flitwick in the conversation. If that made her appear boring or closed off, well then, so be it.
Unnoticed by Aeryn, the staffroom door opened once again, and a tall man with shoulder length black hair and a hooked nose entered the room. He nodded his recognition of McGonagall, who was standing with Sprout and Flitwick, but noticed they were engaged in a discussion with a woman he didn't recognise. Ignoring them, he went straight to the table that held saucers and cups and made himself a small cup of black, unsweetened tea.
Minerva left the group and came over, obviously with the same idea in mind. "And how were your holidays, Severus?" she enquired, as she poured her tea.
"Productive," was all the answer she received. Being used to his short replies, and knowing his very private nature, she didn't push him further, but rather said "At least this year I won't have to listen to your innuendos about the Gryffindor Quidditch team playing against Slytherin, and I've grown used to seeing the Gryffindor Cup in my office. I suppose you're still sore that my house beat yours in the Cup last year?" she taunted him.
"I'm sure that after the Triwizard Tournament is finished, that can be rectified," he drawled. Without turning away from McGonagall, he glanced across the room at the pretty young woman who was smiling and chatting with Professor Flitwick. "And who is the newest...recruit?" he asked, as if he couldn't care less but was merely keen on changing the subject.
"Miss Aeryn Allen. I'm sure you would remember her from several years ago, or at least her father's reputation. From Ravenclaw house. She is here to be the school counsellor and studies advisor."
Snape's expression didn't change, unless it was to become even more uninterested. "No," he said. "I can't say that I do."
McGonagall's eyebrow twitched; she was sure he was affecting that uninterested face. As much as she and Snape seemed to butt heads on many things, she really did have a lot of respect for him, but couldn't resist tweaking his rather overlarge nose on occasion. "Well then," she said with an amused expression, "I had best introduce you. Ms Allen?" She called, raising her voice slightly and interrupting Aeryn and Filius Flitwick, "would you come here for a moment? I have someone else to reacquaint you with."
Aeryn smiled her leave-taking to Flitwick and Sprout and turned towards McGonagall. Noticing the tall, foreboding man in black robes standing next to her, the smile dropped from her face and she hesitated. Severus Snape. Oh, I remember you, she thought bitterly, and walked slowly towards them with eyes narrowed and defences high. He had started at Hogwarts as the Potions Master when she was in her 5th year. No matter how hard she had tried, no matter how perfect her potions had been in class, Professor Snape had ridiculed her, insulted her, and made her edgier than anyone she could remember. She could never understand why his attitude affected her so, but Aeryn remembered crying herself to sleep in her dormitory many nights after a particularly nasty encounter with the overgrown bat. Her friends too, couldn't understand why she was so bothered with his cutting remarks, albeit acknowledging that he was the nastiest teacher there. Well, she thought to herself, holding her head a little higher and walking towards them, he won't catch me out this time. I am his equal here, and he has no right to treat me like a student. Plus I don't care anymore. She pursed her lips. I'll try not to care anymore, she amended.
Severus Snape watched the play of emotions run over her face, and read them like a book. As much as he had said otherwise, he did remember this woman from his potions classes. Always very temperamental and arrogant, and prone to emotional outbursts - traits he particularly despised in others. He always wondered why she was never in Gryffindor, as most Ravenclaws were logical and unemotional to a fault. If being dubbed 'unemotional' was really a fault. His upper lip curled as she drew near. Surely she had matured enough to master a basic control of her feelings? Apparently things hadn't changed in ten years since she left, as he could plainly see the dislike that mirrored his own feelings on her face, and the reluctance to be near him. He, however, would never let it show. Minerva briefly reintroduced them. "Ms. Allen," Snape said shortly as she stood in front of him.
"Professor Snape," she replied, just as shortly, then wished she had called him by his given name – a starting-ground so that he would realise she wasn't a child anymore. Minerva, who had expected this exact reaction from both of them, glanced at Aeryn and raised her eyebrows; an invitation that she should keep talking. She was, after all, a very pretty young woman, and likely to provoke the potions master as much as anyone. Aeryn, noticing Minerva's expression and feeling she should at least try to appear cordial, continued without looking at him. "I understand you are still teaching potions." He nodded the affirmative to this question, but gave no reply. He looked positively uninterested in talking to her. She gritted her teeth and had another go. "I'm to be the school counsellor," she said, and mentally smacked herself in the head. Obviously that was why she was here; could she possibly sound more uneducated? Not that she cared what this man thought.
"So I understand," Snape said, in that quiet, bored voice of his. Aeryn glanced at Minerva, mentally begging for some assistance, but Minerva, the awful woman, said instead "Please forgive me – I've just remembered I promised Filch I would look over his list of banned items for this year. Severus, if you would be so kind as to show Aeryn her rooms after you're done here? I'm afraid I haven't the time," and swept off with a small smile.
Aeryn mentally cursed the woman. She turned to find Snape staring into his tea, as if he would rather be anywhere else but here. Awkwardly, she cleared her throat, and tried to sound professional. "As I said, I will be the counsellor here, but not only for the students. If there's anything you would like to talk about at any time..." she trailed off, suddenly realising how absurd that situation would seem. This man? Pouring out his deepest, darkest fears to her? Maybe crying on her shoulder? The picture in her head was so ludicrous she barely stopped herself from laughing, but couldn't hide the amusement from her face. She struggled on. "Or if you have matters of discipline for the students to deal with I'm also available, although...I'm sure you would find the time to personally hand out punishments yourself," she said, half mockingly. This last statement finally drew his attention from the obviously fascinating black tea in front of him to her face. His brows drew together and his face registered barely concealed impatience. He sighed. "I'm sure you're a...competent counsellor, Ms. Allen," – his eyebrows raised on competent - "but I assure you, I won't be letting anyone inside my head at any time, or for any reason."
"Afraid I might see something no one else has before?" she asked quietly. Now why had she said that? His black eyes flashed dangerously, and bore into hers. "I'm sorry," she said, her eyes dropping. "That was very forward of me. Of course I wouldn't push you to tell me anything you didn't want to." Could she dig herself a deeper hole while she was there? Honestly.
Snape twitched in annoyance. This woman, this irritating woman had the widest range on emotion he had ever seen in a person. In the three minutes of conversation, he had watched her go from defensive, to angry, to egotistical, to laughter, to repentance. Her large dark eyes, as black as his own, were as easy to read as if she had said her thoughts out loud. How could such a small person contain so many feelings? He, for one, was glad it was not him, and derisive of her because of it. However, he inclined his head in response to her ungraceful apology.
"As for me handing out punishments to students personally, I've noticed a tendency for most teachers to be lenient where they should have handed out stricter punishments. It's easier to assign reprimands myself," Snape said with a trace of his irritation coming out in his soft voice, and his eyes looking towards the exit, obviously wanting to leave.
Aeryn, seeing his desire to be as far away as possible, and not wanting to make a fool of herself any longer, decided to quit while she was ahead. "Well it's been...um, interesting seeing you again, Professor Snape, but I think I should get organised in time for the students' arrival tomorrow."
"I will show you where your office is." Snape said, setting his tea down.
"That's not necessary," Aeryn replied quickly. "I do remember this castle very well, I'm sure if you just told me where it is-"
"That would be remiss of me. I can't have you getting lost on your first day here." He said sarcastically.
Aeryn coloured. She was about to respond in kind when he turned from her, with a short 'this way" sent over his shoulder, and walked from the room.
Aeryn ground her teeth in frustration. This was not going well.
Upon exiting the room she saw Snape was already halfway up the hall, and she ran to catch up to him. This is so undignified, she thought. He's doing this deliberately! Struggling to keep up with his long strides, she was hardly watching where she was going. She was already fuming, and imagining several ways of getting back at him. Angrily she shook her head. Getting worked up never solved anything, and likely would make things worse. She would ignore his disgusting attitude and control herself. She knew that would annoy him more than letting him see how angry he made her, just like he did while she was a student here. Abruptly she realised that it was going to take a while before he saw her as anything less than a student, and resolved to act better.
Involved in her thoughts, Aeryn only watched the back of the tall figure striding out in front of her, his robes billowing dramatically behind him, and followed him up a flight of stairs. As they walked – more like ran - up the stairs, a flight that she herself would have done hundreds of times while at school here, Aeryn's foot sank into a step that wasn't really there. Caught off guard, she cried out, and tried to save herself from an ungainly fall, but her momentum carried her forward. She managed to free her foot, but was not quick enough to set it down on time, and found herself falling forward. That is, until a set of arms wrapped themselves firmly around her and pulled her upright and against a hard chest, a split second from hitting the stairs above. Snape, also lost in his own thoughts, had missed the disappearing step out of habit, but completely forgot to mention it to the girl running along behind him. A split second after he had jumped it, he realised his mistake, and on hearing her cry out had turned in time to catch her from splitting her head on the steps above. He waited until she had steadied herself before saying, "my apologies. I neglected to mention-"
"No, it's ok" she said, slightly breathless, still looking at the step that was there but not there, "I should have remembered that step..." she trailed off, as she realised he was still holding her tightly. He released her abruptly, almost making her stumble again. She blushed, and mumbled her thanks. "Your office is this way," he said.
Continuing along, Snape modified his stride to be more accommodating. Lost in her thoughts once again, but this time on a different line, Aeryn barely noticed. She was thinking, that even a step above him, the top of her head barely reached his beaky nose. He was just so tall, and his arms had caught her with barely any effort...
Shaking her head, she told herself to watch where she was going.
Upon reaching the fourth floor, Snape stopped in front of a large tapestry of four obviously tipsy ladies sitting around a table drinking wine. Behind the tapestry was the door to her office. He opened it, and motioned her through.
It wasn't a large room, just big enough to hold a large desk, and several comfy chairs and a coffee table placed around a fireplace. One wall however was entirely windows that overlooked the lake, and they made the room seem larger. "It's perfect," she said, smiling.
"If you think so," Snape said, raising an eyebrow.
Aeryn turned to him. "Granted it doesn't have the dankness or mildew of your average, cosy dungeon, which I'm sure you'd prefer, but it suits my purposes perfectly," she said loftily. She couldn't be sure, but she thought she saw his lip twitch, as if trying not to smile. "As I said, if you think so," he replied. "If you're finished here for now, I will show you your sleeping quarters." For some reason that statement made her blush, and she turned away before replying "thank you."
The quarters mentioned happened to be on the sixth floor. Snape did not open the door for her, but rather pointed her in the right direction. "I will leave you here," he said. "There are many things I need to prepare before tomorrow's classes begin, and I am already running late." Again, Aeryn blushed. He made it sound like it was her fault he was running late. "Well I won't keep you any longer," she said tersly. "Good afternoon." He nodded, and without another word, left. So kind of him to help me out, she thought sarcastically, as she opened the door to her rooms.
The house elves had already placed her trunk at the base of her bed, the head of which was situated against the left wall, and her briefcase and boxes on the desk that was on the same side of the room, only closer to the door. Like her office, this room had lots of windows with heavy curtains, just the way she liked things. The giant four poster double bed was bigger than anything she had ever slept in, and the dark blue drapings made it look like something from a grand old manor house, and just a luxurious. Aeryn smiled to herself. Sleeping was one of her favourite things to do. A door on the right led to a spacious bathroom containing – Aeryn smiled dreamily when she investigated – an enormous bathtub. A fireplace with a large comfy couch and rug completed the scene.
Moving towards her desk, she spent the next hour organising her papers, and then moved to her trunk which contained all her clothes. Halfway through unpacking she stopped. Oh crap, she though. My wand! Where have I put it? Rummaging through the rest of the trunk, then going through the boxes, she was slightly panicked. She couldn't allow herself to be caught without her wand, how would she explain how certain things just happened on their own? Some things she could say was wandless magic, but other things would lead to difficult questions with potentially dangerous results. Ok, stop and think. Be calm. Where did you have it last? Becoming slightly more panicked, she sat for ten minutes and went through every second of her day since she'd had it. Then it came to her – my handbag! I left it on my handbag when I came to the castle, before I went to speak to Dumbledore! And sure enough, there it was, once she'd opened her handbag and rummaged desperately through it as well. Bingo! Laughing shakily to herself, she put her wand on the bedside table, admonishing herself for losing it already on her first day.
Throwing herself backwards onto the bed in relief, she allowed her thoughts to drift, to her father, who she missed every day, and then because the loss of her wand had brought out unpleasant reminders, she thought of her mother. Someone she had known only as a child, and even then she only found out the real truth after her father had died. Sitting up rapidly, she shook her head to dispel those thoughts. There was nothing she could do about that now, except hide the truth from everyone, because she doubted anyone could be trusted with that information.
Glancing around, she realised the room was in total disarray from her panicked searching of the missing wand. Imagine if Snape saw her rooms like this? She stopped cold. Where had that come from? There was no reason he should be anywhere near her rooms, and she hated being in the same castle as him, let alone the same room! Fortunately, she thought, she wouldn't be seeing much of him in the months to come, as he worked in the dungeons, and her office was on the fourth floor. And that was exactly how she liked it.