Mrs. F Takes Over
Series: Respectable Scoundrels
Disclaimer: Stargate, Warehouse 13, and White Collar belong to their respective owners; I'm just borrowing. No copyright infringement intended!
Author's Note: I realized that I haven't updated this series in...a whole year. I thought it might be nice if I started updating just a BIT more regularly.
Happy New Year, everyone (:
Vala was startled – but not really surprised – to find Mrs. Frederic standing in her kitchen when she got home. "Would it kill you to actually try knocking once in a while?" she asked, dumping her purse and a bag of (honestly paid for) groceries
on the counter. "One day Neal is going to beat me home and you're likely to give him a heart attack."
"Actually, I'm here about Mr. Caffrey."
Vala paused, her mind automatically shooting through a dozen possibilities of things that Mrs. Frederic might be upset about regarding Neal. She settled on their most recent misadventure. "If you're worried because of that thing in Italy, I've got it handled. Paid with real money and everything."
She shook her head. "It's not about Italy, Vala."
"Oh." Strike one. "Well, I've kept the Warehouse a secret, if that's what you're wondering." Vala kept her back to the woman as she shoved food into cupboards, trying not to seem nervous. Neal had been staying with her for what would be three months next week, and he'd made the span between retrieval jobs fun and interesting, as well as introducing her to the wider world that she'd missed out on while she was still with the SGC. Yet when it boiled down, the only reason she could come up with for Mrs. Frederic dropping in "about Neal" was that she was displeased with Vala's choice in company and wanted her to get rid of him. And that was not happening.
"You don't have to be so defensive, Vala; my visit is not a reprimand. I'm here to offer Mr. Caffrey a job."
Maybe she should have expected it, but she hadn't, and that took a minute for Vala to process. "A job?" she repeated dumbly, hands frozen on cabinet doors.
" Yes. I've been keeping track of how the two of you work together; your results are quite impressive, while of dubious legality." She made a sound that could have been a snort or a chuckle, but was probably the former considering that this was Mrs. Frederic. "And nearly as impressive as your partnership is his skill at art forgery. As you know, many of our more well-know artifacts have an almost identical but harmless copy floating around in the public eye."
"Fakes, you mean." Vala raised an eyebrow.
"We prefer to say copies, but yes. Essentially. And from what you yourself have showed me of Mr. Caffrey's work, he can rival our best forgers."
"So you're going to give him permission to do what he does anyways?" Vala thought that over for a minute." That's going to take all the fun out of it for him, you know." That probably wasn't entirely true, but she was still mad that Mrs. Frederic had scared her – even if it was probably her own fault – and she was not feeling in a particularly charitable mood.
"I highly doubt that." Mrs. Frederic dismissed casually.
" Hm." Vala crossed her arms and leaned against the counter. "So where are you going to be assigning him, then? Do Warehouse forgers get their own private mansions and studios?"
Mrs. Frederic sighed in disappointment. "And I thought you had come so far. Is that what's really bothering you? You think that I'm going to take Neal away?"
"I don't have a shining track record with government employees."
Mrs. Frederic frowned. "Vala, please listen carefully, because I will not say this again; I am not out to get you. If Mr. Caffrey accepts the job, he will be your partner. Nothing will change except that you will have an extra pair of hands with your retrievals as well as your recreational thievery. And, quite frankly, you could use the help."
"Hey!" Vala protested, knowing that she was acting childish but not really too concerned with that at the moment. "I'm good at what I do."
"But you're much more pleasant after you've done a job with Mr. Caffrey," Mrs. Frederic stated with finality. "Now, he should be getting back at any moment. I put the kettle on, so tea should be ready just in time. Can you please find some cups? Far be it from me to go poking about in your kitchen."
Vala felt her mouth open and close several times, several scathing responses on the tip of her tongue. But she bit them back just as quickly and deflated a little, finally just doing as she was told. She hated to admit it – she still had her pride! – but she had thought she was past this point of blind suspicion, too. Living and working with Neal, she'd thought she was getting better.
Oh, damn her demons!
Neal arrived at the flat at exactly two fifty-seven. The kettle had just come off, Vala had relaxed somewhat, and Mrs. Frederic was feeling quite pleased with her timing. She had planned this one quite perfectly, right down to Vala needing to vent (she would continue to keep an eye on that. This relapse was troubling, but Neal definitely seemed to be a positive influence on her moods and insecurities). She was sitting down at the kitchen table and sipping her tea when Neal walked through the door.
"What smells so good? Did you actually cook something Vala...oh." He cut off abruptly when he noticed her. Mrs. Frederic gave him a small smile, and thoroughly enjoyed the look of confusion on his face. His eyes darted towards Vala. "Am I interrupting something?"
"Not at all, Mr. Caffrey," Mrs. Frederic said, even though she knew the question had not been directed at her. "Please, have a seat."
"Okay..." He sat down gingerly in the chair that she gestured to, his gaze still focused questioningly on Vala. She just shrugged, but there was a hint of a smile ghosting around her lips. She was enjoying his confusion, too, as much as Mrs. Frederic herself.
Definitely a good influence.
"It's a pleasure to finally meet you in person, Mr. Caffrey," she said, sliding him a cup of tea that he ignored. "I have heard a lot about you."
"All of it exciting, I hope," he quipped, relaxing his posture and smoothing out his voice. It was an impressively quick and thorough transition.
"Ms. Mal Doran speaks very highly of you."
"Does she, now?" He shot Vala a Look, but she shrugged an held her hands up in an I'm innocent gesture. "Funny, because she's never mentioned you."
"That would be because of the nature of her job, which coincidentally is why I'm here." Neal waited expectantly for her to continue, so Mrs. Frederic launched promptly into her explanation of the Warehouse and its history and its current status, ending with outlining Neal's proposed job description. His eyes were glowing by the end of it, his expression akin to a kid in a candy store with money to burn (though he'd probably never paid for candy, even as a kid).
Interestingly, he turned to Vala when Mrs. Frederic had finished. She made a mental note that he was more interested in his roommate's opinion than his potential employer's. "How long have you been working for them?" he asked. "You're not just teasing me, are you?"
Vala rolled her eyes. "Darling, you know how I am with authority; don't make me call her what she is."
"Your boss?"
"Yes, that one." She gave a tiny shudder. "You can trust her, though; I've been working for her since I got to Europe, and she's always been more honest than most. Though she does have this very unsettling tendency to appear in one's flat without warning or apology." She arched an eyebrow. "But it's a nice gig."
"And what about our gig?"
"The two of you are allowed to do whatever you'd like in between jobs," Mrs. Frederic informed him. "Which you've been doing anyways. All I ask is that you avoid starting any international incidents."
"That should be easy enough," Neal grinned, leaning back in his chair. "We haven't started anything painful yet, have we?"
"Though not for lack of trying, it seems."
"What was that?"
"Oh, nothing." Mrs. Frederic stood up and smoothed her skirt. "I'll be back to make all of this official later, Mr. Caffrey; but paperwork notwithstanding, I am pleased to welcome you as the newest member of Warehouse 13." She reached out and shook his hand.
"Thank you!" Neal sounded truly excited at the prospect. He turned to Vala, saying something about her good luck in picking jobs, and Mrs. Frederic took the opportunity to make her exit. The two of them were in each other's capable hands for now. Besides, Neal was going to have to learn about her sooner or later; best get him properly respectful of the mystery now.
Smiling to herself and feeling pleased with a good day's work, she headed back to the Warehouse to inform Artie that she'd solved their forger problem.
fin.