A/N: English is not my mother tongue, so I apologize for any grammar and spelling mistakes.
The summary says it all. Basically an insight on Alex's emotional/mental state, if she had lost Kara at the end of Myriad; the dark truth. (According to my point of view)
xxXxx
Alex stared into nothingness. She felt herself slipping deeper and deeper into despair, comforting words unable to help her out of the darkness that had taken over. Her mind was drowning, agonizing over the question 'why', chanting the name no one would even dare speak out loud.
She felt hollow, but at the same time, somewhere along the emptiness there was always some kind of pain tugging at her heart. Sometimes it would take over her body, leaving her trembling at night, leaving her screaming inside, only because it hurt not being able to cry.
There were no tears, no screams, but pain and void. One being the opposite from the other, but together they were more deadly than poison. The pain and the sadness she could push aside for a moment, but at the end of the day, it always came rushing forward, making itself apparent by tearing her down, by tearing down the walls, the mask, the resolve.
Whenever it felt like she was near to getting better, she found herself falling into that empty and cold hole, again and again. Everyday was a struggle and there was no sign of improvement. There couldn't be any room for improvement, because Alex didn't want to get better. She wanted to curl into a ball and disappear, go back to the time when smiles and laughter were possible, when living was possible. Unlike the time that was flying by, she wasn't moving forward at all. She was stuck in her own mind, between reality and wishful thinking, well aware that she couldn't dwell on the past, on a wish that wasn't going to be granted. With Kara gone, she had lost a part of herself, a part of her soul which had been viciously ripped away, now leaving her damaged beyond repair.