Title: Friendly Banter
Fandom: Naruto
Characters: Haruno Sakura & Konan
Prompt: "Beat that!"
Dedication: AGENT KELL, for her birthday You're amazing, and I love you, since you are so sweet and everything. I think you should have a little more confidence in yourself. I'm sorry it's so short. D:
Rating: K+
Warnings: OOC, crack!, slight chance of spoilers (for people that haven't kept up with the current chapters, and have no idea who Konan is)
Note: Sadly, Sasuke will be in the stage where he is with Akatsuki. For the moment.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. The original series and all related things are the property of Kishimoto-san. I also don't own
Summary: "What's wrong with you? This is so stylish. See this twirl? Let's see you do better than that, Pinky." "Tch, my hair already kills all your looks by DEFAULT. That is just how pwnsome I am."


"Why yes, Miss Konan," Sakura said, her hands sweeping over her slightly bloodied arm with natural grace, "I am some kind of amazing." Her lips seemed to go up slightly, her vivid eyes showing a bit of arrogance. This was obviously, very, very obviously her teammate's fault.

But that, yes that, was the last, and final straw. They had been standing here for what seemed like hours, and from Konan's analysis, the female of Team 7 should have been down a long time ago. There was something fueling her, as her eyes were glinting strangely. She even bothered to heal all her wounds—yes, even that paper cut.

These actions irked even Konan to near-insanity.

"I, quite frankly, do not understand what you are," the blue-haired Akatsuki member drawled, carefully fixing the position of her flower and pulling back stray tresses of indigo, "You barely even look alien." Her hands moved quickly, causing paper to flap into the air and join together to make some odd shape, while Konan raised her eyebrow and kept a steady gaze on the younger medic.

She gave an impish half-grin.

"I think you look a little bit like that, dear."

'That' looked a little bit worse than garbage.

Sakura hissed.

Konan smirked smugly.

"Well, at least I don't wear an emo cloak with clouds that are the wrong color," Sakura said, her voice coming out like poison, despite the fact that the insult should have been a weak one, "Where do you frigging order that? Satan?"

Konan looked ridiculously insulted, her eyes showing how baffled she was, although her lips stayed in a firm line, trying to swallow the air to stay composed. Sakura was fake-puking and falling over after describing the cloak, kicking her legs wildly in the air to just demonstrate how terrible the cloak was to the human eye. When the Akatsuki member attempted to advance on the Konoha kunoichi, taking small, nimble strides towards her target, a bit of grass was thrown at her face in a normally futile attempt to stop her.

Now there was seemingly helpless gurgling coming from the medic that had just gone overboard with the imitation.

So now she was flailing like some demented boar—

Konan was losing her mind. She might have already lost it. She didn't quite know anymore, since her decision to join Akatsuki might have been because of some lovesick instincts from her something-teen year old self. Or it was so she could keep folding origami and start to throw some sparkly magic into the paper.

Right now, though, Konan knew what she had to do—walk like she was strutting down the runway.

So she did. She walked in the most fashionable way she could think of, and she did a little twirl in front of Sakura to just show her that, indeed, she was just as charming.

The only reaction was a snort, when the small show was over. No welcoming applause, no gracious smiles.

"What's wrong with you? This is so stylish. See this twirl? Let's see you do better than that, Pinky."

Sakura stood up, patting the dust off her clothes. She flipped her hair in a 'I-am-so-much-sexier-than-you' way, curving her lips into a lovely line. And then she spoke.

"Tch, my hair already kills all your looks by DEFAULT. That is just how pwnsome I am."

"I can't believe you've stooped low enough to use n00b-talk. You'll start talking in l33t next for all I know."

"Pfft, as if, you seem to be getting into it more than me. And anyway, I am so obviously better. I have a Prince Charming, you know. That cares and is dreamy and lovely and—"

"You mean that ice-block that's with us right now?" Konan interrupted, some slyness slipping into her dark eyes, relishing in the possible broken-heart of that girl-woman.

Her laughter broke the few minutes of pleasure in Konan's mind, and she rolled her eyes in the fakeness of it all. Why was she trying to hide her weakness again? It was already, quite clearly, that it was exposed to nearly everyone in the ninja world.

"That boy," she stated firmly, eyes turning into something dead while soft pink twirled effortlessly around her slim finger, "will come back. He is back, actually."

"What? That makes no sense, he's with Madara and Pein and his—"

"—groupie, fans, something. With my epic skillz, I kidnapped them, and they are tied all together in a small tent meant for one. They're close by, Miss Konan. You can have them back if you repeat after me."

Konan considered, then realized that the girl was going to say, "Haruno Sakura is made of much more awesomeness than Konan," and decided against the whole 'repeat-after-me' trick.

"I think," she said, licking her dry lips and getting ready to turn, "I'll pass." She slipped her cloak off and dropped it on the ground before walking away slowly in the opposite direction of Sakura's campsite.

This meant less people to cook for, anyway.


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