Happy New Year Everyone!
So, I started this fic like... half a year ago, then forgot abut it. I decided to finish it in time for new year, since it seemed appropriate. I had it post on tumblr at exactly midnight here. But I'm a little late posting it up on since we were kind of partying. I was up until 6am and slept through to 10am. Of course, it's so hot here that you kind of just lie there with no energy. My room is a furnace!
Anyway, I hope you like it.
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From the shadows he watched her. The Doctor watched as a young Rose walked away from her mother, a fond smile on her face. He felt an intense agony, and this time it had nothing to do with the regeneration he was holding back. He was cutting it too short. He had seen everyone, wanting to save her for last. The very first face that this face first saw. The very person who was etched into every fibre of his being with that one kiss. She would be the last face he ever saw, and he would have it no other way.
He didn't intend to draw her attention, really he didn't. With Rose, he couldn't afford to. She did not know him yet, but she would. He was making a dangerous move. He could so easily mess with the timelines. Even now he could feel them twisting and moving, trying to prevent what he was doing. It was painful, feeling the time-lines. Holding back the regeneration. The heart-wrenching pain of seeing her so close, but unable to even-
"Ah!" he grunted in pain. Instinctively he curled inwards, clutching to the handle of the door behind him to steady himself. To ground himself.
"You alright, mate?" he heard her voice. Oh that voice. It had been so long since he had heard it. His head instantly looked in her direction and he answered before he could stop himself.
"Yeah." A blatant lie. Even to her.
"Too much to drink?" she asked. He could see in her eyes that she wasn't sure. That she could see the pain he was in.
"Something like that," he said. He wished he could tell her. He wished that he was able to tell her what he was thinking, like he would have if she were the Rose from his timeline. The Rose that would beg him not to change, but still love him when he did.
"Maybe it's time you went home."
"Yeah."
Home... He had just gotten rid of his home planet for the last time, but that had not been home to him in almost a millennium. There was the TARDIS, but although he loved her more than anything, she had felt almost... empty for the last four years.
"Anyway!" she said brightly, grabbing his attention back. "Happy New Year."
"And you." She turned to leave, and he spoke before he could stop himself. He wanted more. "What year is this?"
She turned back in surprise. "Blimey, how much have you had?" He did a small side shrug of his head, barely mouthing out his usual 'well'. "2005, January the first."
2005... that was the year they met. In March. In two months and six days, she would be with him... and he would never see her again after this moment.
"2005. Tell you what. I bet you're going to have a really great year." He couldn't help but remember it all himself. He had been over every memory a thousand times. Every moment cherished. Oh, she was going to have a brilliant year.
"Yeah?" she asked, a coy smile on her face. He nodded. "You know what?" she suddenly said. "It's just past midnight, and you're the first person I've seen other than my mum. And someone new at that." As she talked, she walked slowly over to him. He felt himself stiffen up, not wanting to damage the timelines, but not wanting to turn her away. "And I bet that I'm the first person you've seen since. There's a tradition you might have heard of. Originally it was meant to be with someone you just met. And following the tradition brought good luck on the new meeting."
"Really?" he squeaked. She was so close to him. Right in front of him.
"Yeah." She said. "And you look like you could use some good luck." His breath stopped as she smiled up at him, and then she lent up and gave him a short but sweet kiss on the lips. He was speechless... and breathless... he was no longer sure what to do. And he was still trying his best to hide the pain. She missed his grimace as she looked at the ground, biting her lip. She looked back up at him with a smile. "See ya," she said. Then she turned and ran over to the stairs to her flat.
He watched her as she went, as she looked back at him as she opened the coded door, and as she ran up the stairs. There were tears in his eyes and they threatened to fall. But he couldn't let them. Not yet. Not here.
A wave of pain made him cry out, reminding him that there was another reason why he should go. Slowly, he began to move, clinging to the wall in support. Everything was turning blurry, but as he staggered around the corner, he could see the shape of the TARDIS not too far away. He just had to make it across the court yard. It would be a painful feat, but he had to do it. With the amount of energy he was holding back, the release force was going to be massive. And it wouldn't do for him to regenerate out on the street. Especially not the street right outside the home of a young Rose Tyler.
He took one painful staggering step after another. The world was starting to spin around him, and it seemed all so hard. When he was about halfway there, the pain became so intense that a cry of agony was torn from his throat, and he fell to the ground.
He was on his hands and knees, nearly whimpering when he felt a hand on his back. It was only then that he registered sound.
"Oh god," she was muttering. "What's wrong? What can I do? Um... how can I help you? You need to tell me what's wrong!"
"Rose..." he whispered, his voice hissing out between his teeth. He felt her still beside him.
"Wh-what?" She shook her head. "Look, mate, I'm gonna call 999." She took out her phone and began to dial.
"No," he rasped, clamping a hand down on top of hers to stop her. Without the extra support, he fell forwards slightly. "I can't... can't go... Hospital won't help."
"T-then... what can I do?" she said frantically.
"TARDIS," he said. "My TARDIS."
"What?"
"Blue box over there." He nodded vaguely ahead of him. "I need to get to it."
"Okay, okay. I'll just-" She stopped talking and stopped moving. His vision was blurred, so he hoped like anything the process hadn't begun properly, and she hadn't just seen him start to glow gold. "What the... bloody... hell..." she faded out.
He managed to use some of his energy to turn his head towards her. She wasn't looking at him, she was starting out directly in front of her, her eyes wide. He could hear footsteps to his other side, but he was hit by another strong wave of pain and gasped as he doubled over. The footsteps sped up as if the person was running, then he felt hands wrap around him and pull him in. It hurt to move in anyway, or be touched, but at the same time, the touch was a comfort.
He was rolled over a little and Rose's face swam before him. Two of them.
"Doctor," her voice said. He struggled to focus on her, but he was sure only one of her had spoken... hold on, they looked different... And she'd said his name...
"Rose?"
"Hey," she grinned sadly.
"Hello." He tried to force a smile, but it was over taken by a grimace. This couldn't be real. He knew it couldn't.
"Hello."
Rose was still in the other universe. She was safe and happy with the other him. The universes were sealed and there was no possible way, even if the both of them tried their hardest, that they could ever find their way back to each other.
She was lost to him.
He felt those tears finally spill over his lids and run down the side of his face into his hair, pooling in the corners of his eyes where there was nowhere for it to escape. "Rose," he choked. His hand lifted and brushed away the hair hanging around her face.
"Shh, it's alright. I'm here," she soothed him.
"Yeah. I don't... I don't want to go. I want to go back. Start again. You and me. I want you with me. Please, Rose. Please come back." The words tumbled from his mouth. He wasn't sure what he was saying anymore, he only new that it was the truth.
"I am back, see Doctor. I'm here. I won't leave you. I promise. Forever, yeah?"
"I don't want to die."
He cried out, curling up as his body spasmed in pain. He couldn't hold it back any longer. If he did, he would die properly. He was holding it back, and he was so close to just stopping it. But even now, he could feel himself starting to burn. Knowing it was time, he let the energy out slowly. He felt the fog of pain lifting from him slightly, making him more lucid. Oh yes, he could feel the fire. He lifted his hand in the air above him. It was glowing gold now, the energy radiating from him. He just hoped that the young Rose had the good sense to run away. To get away from him before he changed.
"I don't want to go."
A smooth, cool hand brushed over his own burning one, the fingers entwining with his. He looked up at Rose, the one who was holding him. Their hands laced, she lowered them down. She leant closer to him, her lips pressed to his. Her lips were soft and cool, they moved against his in a way he had only dreamed of. It soothed him, taking away the burn of his regeneration. He forgot about the pain so completely that he found that he was kissing her back, holding her face in his hands. He was no longer laying with his head in her lap. He was as close to sitting up as he could get without breaking the kiss. It may have just been a very vivid hallucination, but it felt as if she were kissing the life back into him.
"Okay, what the hell is going on!" They broke apart and both turned to see the younger Rose staring at them in bewilderment.
"Um... to be honest... it's something you're not supposed to know about yet," the other Rose told her.
"Right... okay... I've drunken way too much," she said. "I don't even remember starting to drink, but I have clearly been drinking way too much."
"Actually, that's a good idea." The other Rose stood and walked over to the teenager and placed her hands on her temples.
"What are you-" Suddenly a vacant look came over her face. The two roses stood there like that for a few moments, then the younger one turned and walked back towards her building.
"There we go," Rose said, turning back to him. "She'll wake up in the morning with a killer hangover and no memory of tonight. Timelines back in place. And what about you?"
"Eh?" he said. He was still sitting on the snowy ground, and he could feel it starting to seep through his clothes.
"How are you feeling?" She came over hand helped him to his feet.
Now that his vision had cleared, he took a moment to drink her in. She looked no older since he had last seen her, but she still looked rather different. Her hair was wild and messy with the top pinned back, a few braids and charms hung from it. Her outfit was black, cream, and tan, and looked rugged and torn in places. Her eyes seemed a little more gold than usual. She looked gorgeous. Also, he was now realising, very corporal for a hallucination.
"Um... very confused."
She just laughed. "I meant about the regeneration, you idiot."
"Oh, right, that's happening... Uh, actually... no it's not. I – I don't understand. It stopped?"
"Brilliant! It worked! Now come on, let's get back to the TARDIS. Might muck things up if we stay out here." She grabbed his hand, bounding over to the TARDIS. With a snap of her fingers the doors swung open and she practically spun in with her arms wide. "Oh, I've missed you!" she said to the TARDIS, stroking one of the corral struts. The time machine hummed loudly in response and the Doctor's eyebrows rose even further.
"No, no, no. Hold on, Rose. I am really confused."
"Oh, right!" She turned to him, full of energy, "Beach. That was seven years ago now. Stuff happened. Other Doctor's gone. I'm not human. Back in this universe now. You're not regenerating. And everything's the way it should be!"
"But I don't... how?"
"Because," she smiled widely, walking back over to him. "You changed the timelines." She booped him on the nose. "Only a little bit. But I couldn't find you. And then I remembered something. A certain New Years kiss."
She leaned in again and pressed her lips to his. Even though he was still thoroughly confused, he wasted no time in kissing her back. She was here. With him.
Questions could wait.
It was a damn happy New Year.