There were very few moments in her life where she would fully admit to herself that she'd lost her control, lost her focus. However, the moment she'd caught sight of him across the crowded tavern, she'd felt her control slip in a way it never had before. It had hit her so hard that she'd had to pause in her steps as all thought departed from her.
Ichabod Crane.
When she'd met him a few weeks earlier in Boston, she'd not thought she'd see him again lest she seek him out, yet there he was, standing across the room with that endearing quality of his that told he was out of place, yet still confident in his own skin. Yes, she'd learned that about him in their short conversations while she'd tended him in his stay at the infirmary. She'd also found in that short time that it was nearly impossible to remove her eyes from him. There was something about him that simply called to her, demanded her gaze remain on him lest she miss even the slightest detail of his wonderful presence. The fact that he'd also made her joyfully laugh and genuinely smile more than she had in such a very long time was simply a minor detail.
Now, though, as she slowly approached him in fear that he'd disappear, or turn out to be some sort of tempting illusion, she practically held her breath. The music and boisterously crowded tavern became a distant presence as she twisted her fingers together almost painfully. Instead of taking in the room around her, she took in how his gaze remained fixed on a specific spot on the bar top, his eyes lost in what seemed to be the deepest of thoughts.
Then, at last, he was turning towards her and she felt the smallest of smiles come to her face as his eyes, the most beautiful blue she'd ever seen, met hers. Slight disbelief registered in his features as his eyes widened, but then not a breath later, those same eyes softened in what seemed to be quiet mirth as his own small smile formed upon his face.
"Miss van Tassel," came his surprised, yet pleased voice.
Smile widening to almost painful lengths, she swept her gaze over him as she responded with a joyful laugh, "If it isn't Mr. Ichabod Crane."
He nodded wordlessly, his eyes falling from hers as he, too, seemed to be at a loss for what to say.
Quickly searching for words, she took in his outfit and smiled softly in admiration. "Officially shed off your red coat?"
His head bobbed in the affirmative as he answered in obvious nervousness, his eyes blinking a few times as they darted about. "Uhm, yes, uh..."
When his eyes came back to hers, they caught in another of their seemingly unavoidable stares, something they'd fallen into the rhythm of doing.
"I believe the new one will suit you so much better," she added, wanting to ease him even as she felt her own heartbeat throbbing uncontrollably beneath her chest. With his blue eyes boring into her, she felt it happening again. That overwhelming urge to reach out and touch him. The way he looked at her...it set what felt like her very soul aflame, like he could see into the deepest corners of her being. No man had ever looked at her thusly.
Applying the last of the bandage to his chest, she laid her had to it, making sure she had it secure enough. When it remained in place, she glanced up only to find his eyes trained on her face in deep concentration. Breath catching, she dropped her eyes back to his chest in an attempt to hide the flustered feeling he'd just sent over her.
Lightly clearing her throat, she said, "All done."
Out of the corner of her vision, she noticed his head drop as he, too, looked to the bandage. When his hand lifted to touch it, his fingers brushed hers, sending a pulsing feeling through her that she couldn't help but shiver at.
"Thank you," came his low reply.
Gaze sliding back to his, she gave a small smile. "You should rest. This wound will be rather sore tomorrow, but should otherwise heal just fine."
He gave a nod of agreement. "Of course."
With that assurance, she stepped away in order to leave him to his rest, but his hand catching hers halted her. "Miss van Tassel?"
Eyes back on him, she attempted to ignore the shocks that were coursing through her body at his touch. "Yes?"
He swallowed hard before answering, "I can never repay you...for everything."
The sincerity that was shining in his blue eyes warmed her to the core. "You already have," she whispered. "You've given me hope that the world isn't as lost and selfish as I previously thought."
His answering smile was so bright and full of wonder as to cause her heart to skip a beat. "I've never met a woman as straightforward as you."
Laughing, she raised an eyebrow. "Well, I'm pleased I've made an impression."
"You certainly have," came his soft reply, his eyes once more boring into hers with that depth he seemed to always search for.
When his thumb brushed over her knuckles, she realized they were still holding hands. He must have realized it as well as he nervously cleared his throat and released her hand.
Sucking in some much needed air, she nodded and glanced to her hands. "Well, I suppose I should allow you your rest."
"Uhm, yes," he stuttered out, his fingers now clutching the edge of the cot. "Rest."
"Goodnight," she whispered, before turning away, but that didn't stop her from hearing his own wistful whisper.
"Goodnight."
"Oh, Katrina!"
Abraham's voice washed over her, slightly startling her from the blue eyes that held her so entranced. Of course. She'd come to the tavern to meet him, but had become completely distracted by Ichabod's presence. Even as Abraham's voice called to her, she found it difficult to tear her eyes from Ichabod. As she turned her head slightly, she continued gazing at him for as long as possible before Abraham's presence became too near and she was forced to acknowledge him.
"My darling!" Abraham finished as he reached for her hand and placed a kiss to it.
Catching her breath, she swept the cobwebs from her head and gave Abraham a smile. "Hello, Bram," she greeted cheerfully as she took him in. "The blush on your cheeks tells me you've been enjoying your evening."
He slipped his arm around her as he turned to Ichabod, who now looked more than a little confused. "Well, how could I not after reuniting with my dearest of friends?"
Her own confusion slightly swept over her as she maintained her pleasant smile. However, her smile slipped as Abraham broached his next question. "Uhm, you two have met?"
Feeling her heart skip a beat, she hesitated, her eyes on Ichabod, who was staring at her as though lost. After a moment, his mouth moved to respond, but no words came, prompting her to hurry her own response. "Briefly... in Boston."
The look he was giving her was the most uncomfortable one she'd seen on him yet as his own response delayed. At last, he gave a slight nod, his lips pressed tightly as his eyes fell from her before moving to Abraham. In that moment, she felt her heart tug toward him as though she'd disappointed him.
"Well, what serendipity," Abraham exclaimed as her own eyes fell to Ichabod's coat while she considered her swirling thoughts. "You must join us at my estate this weekend." That pulled her gaze to Abraham as well as he continued joyfully, his finger pointing between them. "I have a feeling you two will be...Thick. As. Thieves."
When he playfully tapped her nose, she couldn't help her laugh. Abraham was always going on about something or other, his excited nature drawing all those around him in. He had a certain presence that made one want to remain in his company if only to see what he would say next. However, his playfulness, though slightly distracting, did little to stop the feelings coursing through her as she lifted her gaze to see Ichabod offering what was obviously a forced smile as he turned back to the bar to lift his drink. His sudden detachment from the conversation left her with little doubt of his discomfort and disappointment.
It was in that moment of fully realizing that he was seemingly feeling exactly what she was that she made a firm decision.
It was imperative that she keep Ichabod Crane at a very far distance, lest she give herself over to the loss of control that was now tugging at her heart more forcefully than ever.