I actually wrote this a while ago but I completely forgot about it. I thought I'd spruce it up and then post since I haven't in a while.
Sitting in his office alone, Levi thought about her. The woman that had brought some light to his heart. The woman that had managed to steal it. The woman that had ripped out of his body and took it with her when she left this world. That woman.
Without her around, his heart was dark and empty and there was almost nothing left.
Of course, Petra never knew that Levi had loved her. And every time someone had even remotely suggested his feelings for her; he would give the same disconnected look that he gave everyone. He wanted to tell her on his own.
Levi had always pushed it off, though. Every time he was sure he was going to tell her, he would break out into a nervous sweat. He would panic and leave before he could say anything. Which wasn't strange for Levi, he would walk silently all the time from anyone.
And then there was her father.
That day. That day hurt more than anything. He had finally come to realize that she had loved him back. And although they never spoke it, they were secretly devoted to each other.
Pain and regret washed over Levi's heart as sat at his desk doing paperwork. Pushing these thoughts as far as he could, Levi attempted to continue with what he was doing before she entered his mind once again.
Levi's attempts were useless though. His frustration bore him no end.
Why did she have to die?
Levi had this thought day and night. Of all those in the Survey Corps, he was sure that Petra would live, that she could handle herself.
You were wrong.
Levi grinded his teeth and gripped the pen he was holding with a sudden ferocity. The thought of his miscalculation and the feelings that came with it overwhelmed him.
Stupid, Levi thought. Why did I fall in love with her? I've never had feelings before her. Everything was just numb. Then she came into my life and waking up seemed to get a little brighter each day. And then…
Before the thought entered Levi's mind, the pen in his hand snapped from his grip and ink spilled. Staring at the unfinished and newly inked work, Levi quit for the night.
Leaving his office for the comfort of his room, Levi got up and ignore his thoughts. He walked through the hallways. Unlocked his bedroom door. Changed his clothes. Brushed his teeth.
Everything Levi did was more mundane than ever. The person that used to cloud up his thoughts while doing these things was gone. There was no more point in fantasizing or walking around in the hope that he'd find her up too. Petra was dead.
So Levi did the only thing he could do. Pretend that she never existed. She never tended to the horses or did the dishes. She never worried or tried to comfort her dying brethren. She never came into Levi's heart, warmed up every drop of blood, and then squeezed it and let him bleed out from her death.
She never existed.
I hope this was good! I kind of finished it on a whim since I didn't have anything else to do from coming home sick :/