"Wait, hold on - so none of you can tie bow ties properly?"
Peter stares at him blankly. Remus raises an eyebrow. Sirius looks away, pointedly not meeting James' eye.
He throws his hands up, panic beginning to churn in the pit of his stomach as he glances at the small clock on the bedside table, flashing 9.04 - T minus 56 minutes until he's standing at the front of the church watching his fiancée walk down the aisle. "Are you serious? Didn't you think this would have been appropriate information to share - at least yesterday, I would have had time to learn before yesterday, now there's exactly twenty minutes to tie this fucking thing and you were supposed to have my back on this."
"We did think you were capable of dressing yourself, mate," says Remus reproachfully. James waves a finger at him.
"Don't you try that, Lupin, you're just turning the tables on me! The guilt tables!"
Sirius snorts. "He's right though, you know. You tied your school tie for seven years, how were we supposed to guess you'd have trouble with bow ties? Why did you even choose to wear a bow tie?"
"Lily said it would look nice!" he says, slightly hysterical. "I thought you would help! You're my best man! I have definitely seen you wear a bow tie before, how come you don't know, at least?"
The tops of Sirius' ears go red, and he looks away, muttering something incomprehensible.
"What?"
"I said the house elf always did it for me, okay?" he snaps.
"Ah." says Remus, the corner of his mouth twitching. "That. Explains a lot."
Sirius makes a face at him. James opens his mouth, then closes it, deciding not to comment.
"Listen, James, why don't you swap it out for a normal tie?" asks Peter sensibly. "You can tie those, right?"
"The only ties I can locate are either red-and-gold or have little cartoons of Martin Miggs being inappropriate on them," he says miserably, sinking down onto the bed in the small hotel room they're using to get ready. "I don't know where all my other ties are."
Remus sighs. "How have you lost all your - never mind. Why don't I go home and get one for you?"
It's a reasonable idea, but - "It's just - she said I should wear a bow tie. She said that she thought it would look nice."
Sirius laughs, sudden. "Are you scared of her getting pissed at you? Cos I've got to tell you, mate, that's something you'll probably have to get used to."
"No, she won't be - at least, I'm sure she won't, but she wanted today to be. Well, I wanted today to be - " He struggles for a moment, before dropping his head into his hands, feeling suddenly hopeless. "I don't know."
Silence falls, and James knows that his friends are looking concerned at each other. After a few moments, he hears quiet footsteps and the bed dips next to him as they sit down.
"She won't mind if it isn't perfect, James," says Peter from somewhere to his left. "She'll still be happy."
"Yeah, she loves you. I'm a cynical bastard, and even I know that."
"It's only a little thing, James, honestly." Remus pats his shoulder.
James presses his palms to his eyes until he can see stars behind his eyelids, then lifts his head. "But that's the thing, Moony, if I can't even do this one little thing for her then how the hell am I going to manage the big things? I can't even remember to learn how to tie a bow tie before the most important day of my fucking life, how am I going to deal with - with marriage? How'm I going to give her the rest of my life if I can't even give her this, just one bloody day where she didn't have to worry about getting murdered and could just be totally happy?"
They fall into silence again. "You're an idiot," says Sirius, eventually. "That is the biggest pile of horseshit I've ever heard. Course she's going to be totally happy. She's marrying you, isn't she? She's only been talking my ear off about it for months. And it wasn't the bloody bow tie she was excited about, trust me."
James looks around at Remus and Peter for support, only to find them nodding. "It's not - I know she'll be happy, but - like, she's it, for me, and I want her to know that, and I want her to have everything."
Remus sighs again, but at least it's kinder this time. "And did you ever stop to think that she doesn't want everything? She wants you, James. Look, she's not marrying you cos you can provide for her, or protect her, or give her everything she wants, and she's certainly not doing it for your bow tie skills. And you know what, as her friend I sort of feel obligated to smack you one for even thinking that, because she'd be pissed if she heard you say anything like that. She loves you, she wants you, and that's it. That's all she's looking for, today."
"Besides," adds Sirius. "Marriage is just a meaningless consumerist institution. Nothing actually changes, all that happens is she changes her name and you go on holiday for a bit. Trust me, it's all total bullshit. Nothing to worry about."
"Padfoot, I feel like you're not really understanding your purpose as a best man."
"Shut up, Wormtail, it's working, isn't it?"
And oddly enough, James does feel a little better. He looks up and meets their eyes, smiling crookedly. They smile back, relieved.
"Now, hand it over," says Remus, holding a hand out. "We can't fuck it up too badly, I'm sure."
He hands over the offending length of black material and subjects himself to being half strangled for the next few minutes. But when Remus - the soul of perfectionism - admits that it's probably the best they'll get, and they give him a mirror, it doesn't look too bad, after all. Bit wonky, but - okay.
He decides, over the next hectic half hour, that it's probably a metaphor for his life in some way.
But then before he knows it the clock's striking ten and he's standing at the front of the small, perennially freezing church that Lily liked because her grandparents got married there, and suddenly the church quietens and the pianist strikes up the march and he can't breathe, he can't breathe, he can't -
"Breathe, James," instructs Sirius quietly.
"You have the rings, right? I gave them to you?" he whispers, frantic.
"Yes, got them right here. Relax, alright?" He turns subtly, and then leans in close. "She looks - "
" - don't tell me, I want to see for - "
" - happy, James. Happier than I've ever seen her. Alright, now all you've got is your vow, the I dos and a kiss, don't fuck it up. I'll see you on the other side, mate." Before James can say anything, he steps away, and Lily is standing next to him.
And - he's almost scared, when he turns to look at her, god knows his heart is in his throat, but Sirius was right, she looks happy, and she looks beautiful, and she loves him.
"Hey," he breathes, smiling widely. She grins back, and tangles their hands together.
"Hey yourself."
"You look - you look - " He can't seem to find a word that approaches what he's feeling, so he just smiles even bigger, swallowing hard around the lump in his throat, and she seems to get it.
"You too."
The vicar next to them begins talking. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today..."
Her eyes travel down him, catching on the bow tie. Easily, she reaches forward with the hand that's not holding his, and straightens it, smiling at him all the while.
"...for the help and comfort given on another in prosperity and adversity. But more importantly..."
"I love you," he says quietly, squeezing her hand and something in the back of her eyes lights up.
She squeezes back. "I love you, too."
And regardless of everything, despite the utter cliché of it all, this, thinks James, is the only thing that really matters.
A/N: Hi, all!
This was originally written on my tumblr (see link in profile if you're interested) for Jayne's (apalapucian on tumblr) prompt 'bow ties' - come check it out, there's a lot going on over there!
Title comes from 'Marry Me' by Train. Had a terrible cold when I was writing this, so I hope it's alright. Also, this is possibly one of the fluffiest things I have ever written and I'm terrible at fluff, so *jazz hands* hope you like it anyway!
Finally, shout out to Anna (Ansy-Pansy-aka-Panz). Your reviews are always lovely and they brighten up my day, so thanks, love :)
Have a lovely day, everyone!
Sriya xxx