For the sake of this story, all of Nora's powers are drained in the pipeline.
Here she sat. Alone. No sound but her own tears. The only music she could made were her sobs. Not the kind that she had when she cut her knee at a child nor the kind she had on her finger from the edge of a paper. Not the cry of someone who learned of someone in their personal live, someone they love deeply and care deeply for. It was the cry of someone who did the hurting. Stabbing her family—her dad. The person she never wanted to let down the most.
All she wanted was him. She wanted him in her life. She wanted him to be proud of her. She never had that support growing up as her Mom had kept her from her own powers. The same she shared with her Dad. They matched in blood and powers. All she craved and desired was his love and making him proud that she was his daughter.
Eobard Thawne said that he'd help her with that. He promised her that she'd get that from her Dad. Thawne promised her. So long as she carried out his plans, nothing bad would happen and Barry would become proud of her.
Nora scooted back so her back was against the power damping wall. Still sobbing she mumbled out, "Fuck me." Looking at the sky as if someone were to come down and save her from this cell.
She should had said something earlier. Earlier would had been better. After traveling in time with her Dad to get the different parts to defeat Cicada, when she encountered Thawne for (truthfully, millionth time) but first him in the past (just as his first time meeting her). She should had said something. But she didn't. She saw the anger in her Dad. She was afraid of telling him that she was working with the man who murdered her grandmother. Her namesake.
Today's anger was more violent than what she saw the anger in her Dad's eyes after the traveling. Today's anger was mixed with pain, fury, aggression, aggravation, bitterness . Nora stood on the teeter-totter; She expected this and than did not expect this reaction. She had no idea he's lock her in this...power damping closet.
She cried hysterically. She couldn't breathe. She held herself close like a fetus in her mother's womb. A baby soothing herself.
X
She lost track of time. Her cell phone from her back pocket had died. Last time she had check her phone right before the battery died it read 5:09 PM. At that point, Nora had been in here for two hours. She guessed it had to be longer. Maybe night now.
A light buzzed. Some part of the wall opened and released a cafeteria style tray with a PBJ sandwich, milk, water and an apple. The tray was placed on the ground and the wall instantly closed up again.
She wasn't hungry.
She was too depressed with herself. Exasperated at herself. She fucked up. She completely fucked up.
"Why? Why? WHY? WHY!?" She shouted at herself. "WHY!?" She screamed again. She took her shoe off at threw it, letting it hit her food and liquids. That wasn't enough to fill her up. Nora stood with rage and began kicking her sock covered foot against the cell. "WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!" She could had woken the dead with that last scream. Her powerless foot kicking as fast as it could, Nora cared less about her toes feeling broken.
She's broken.
S
She rocked in her own puddle of tears. She did all this pain. She caused all that pain in her Daddy. She loved her Daddy, more than anything or anyone in the world. Probably a bias thought since she had no memories of him ever from her young duckling age.
She's going to die in here, she thought. She's going to die in here. In the one place she fucking hates for two reasons.
N
Midnight. Or so it felt like. Eight hours of this misery and pain. She hadn't stopped sobbing for what felt like decades in her body. She felt like her voice was lost.
Call her insane but being here in not just reminded her of the pain she put on her family. But sort of put her back into another mind set. One that she is still currently locked inside but also not locked. Like, inside of the closet but the door is unlocked and ready to open in any second.
That pain hurts too. Just as much as the lies and secret she kept. It beat her every day. If there is one thing that is the same in both this time and her time is that people's views on sexuality is equal. Half unacceptable and half acceptable. Of the acceptable half, only half speak or show out in public about it. The second half prefer to keep silent about to. To "not draw eyes" as her one middle school teacher explained it to a fellow teacher.
A few students had ideas that Nora "wasn't normal" in some way. They knew her as the girl whose dad died when she was too little to remember and the girl who enjoys science. Most girls loved makeup, Nora enjoyed learning the chemistry behind how the products are made (and placing it on too sometimes). Nora was the first to jump into mud puddles to look for warms. Nora was the one to go outside after a rainy hour to explore bugs and insects.
The students later used their innocent thoughts into negativity. They bullied her. Teased her. Often, most of them teased her about her mom and family. "Your dad learned your mom's a lesbian . That's why he left you and your fucking lesbian mother, you fucking dy—" Nora blocked out that word. Words like that one, they hurt. She had a bad relationship with her working mom so she never told her mom about this. Hell, even if they were close she probably still wouldn't tell!
That pain she had in middle school and high school stabbed her heart. Just as much as her secret.
O
Hand trembling violently as hot tears traced down the paths of the old tears. She had thrown her jacket off and tossed it across the room in a fit of range some time ago. A shine of silver dropped from one of her pockets. She crawled over gently like a toddler exploring and picked up the item. An item she hadn't seen in a couple of years. Not this one specifically, but just one in general.
Nora slid back to her previous position. Sniffling hard as she wiped the tears away. It was a blur but she knew what this was.
A sign from the universe?
She deserves it. Right?
The pain she caused her family. The pain they have now because of her. That pains her. Being inside of this closet-wannabe created those middle school and high school memories. Dark, dark memories.
Her scientific brain had made of these. But speedster edition. Her scientific brain and the technology of her time, one regular would take three weeks to heal fully whereas a non-speedster's would take a week to a few weeks depending on the pressure.
Ten minutes of staring at the silver beauty and figuring that her body wouldn't heal as fast due to the power of the pipeline, Nora retraced the steps that she had taken from age eleven to twenty-one. She stopped for five years because she had met Thawne and learned of her true bloodline. She ripped out the power damping chip and for five years did her own training. Did it fail? Sure, often. But she tried.
Saving people saved her. But now she's here. Saving nobody. Not her family, her dad, Thawne in a way. No one's blood to save.
R
Following morning Barry was the first to go down to the pipeline. All night Team Flash learned the truth. Why Nora had lied and kept this secret from them. It hurt and will always hurt, but Barry seemed to get a sense of some understanding of his daughter now.
He walked into her pipeline and opened the first doorway. Nora's sleeping figure was facing away from the door. Barry opened the door. "Nora?" He called out. No response. "Nora?" He began stepping towards her. Barry sat on his kneecaps and gently rubbed her to wake her. "Nora? It's dad."
No response. But Barry noticed she was breathing slowly. Off slowly. He shook her again but had nothing. He shook her a bit rougher. Nothing. "Nora." He said again. He turned her over.
Blood. Lots of it.
A
Iris and Barry sat in the chairs waiting for Nora to wake up. Caitlin had manage to stop the bleeding and transfer some of Barry's blood into Nora's. Just in time too, as Caitlin explained. "She had to been bleeding for a couple of hours. If you hadn't found her in another hour it might had been too late."
Her body was healing as quickly as it could. But taking some time due to the amount of blood loss. No more than an hour at least, they expected.
So far it had been forty minutes.
"It's my fault." Barry said, not taking his eyes off of Nora. He avoided looking at the bandages on her wrists and arms. He avoided thinking about the bandages around her inner thighs, stomach and around her chest. "It's all my fault."
Iris held his hand. "No, it's not."
"I put her in the pipeline, Iris."
"You were mad. We were all mad at her for lying to us." She insisted. "But what happened in that pipeline is not your fault. You and I and everyone else had no idea she would do this. She never showed any sign of doing this to herself before or that she currently was, if she was."
Barry shook his head. He knew that but still. He. Put. Her. In. There. Nora felt...something. Barry couldn't even imagine what was going in her mind. Guilt likely. But this came from her guilt?
Barry touched her hand in his. They were felt fragile. So soft and tiny compared to his own. He felt like he was holding a literal baby hand. She is his baby. Even at twenty-six, she is his baby girl. He leaned down and kissed her forehead.
Nora stirred awake. She felt achy. She had no memory of the past few hours. Just so much crying. Her eyes adjusted to the lights but she could see the silhouettes of her parents. "Mom?" Her frail voice cracked.
Iris kissed her forehead. "How are you feeling?"
"Achy." She replied. "Why do I feel like that?"
"You don't remember anything?"
"Just dad being...pissed. Like...fucking pissed." Oh no, here they come again. Her face crunched up. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry!" She cried, now looking at Barry. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry!"
Barry embraced gingerly. Rocking her softly, his hand rubbed the back of her head fatherly. "It's okay, it's okay." He reassuringly kissed the top of her head. "You're okay."
Nora had no clue what his meaning of 'you're okay' meant. She only thought of it as being about the secret and lies she kept from him. She relaxed in his arms. Feeling somewhat better that he was accepting of her again.