Frank Underwood was sitting in the oval orifice, being the president of the United States. He had a great idea: he was going to show off his stimulus package on live television, but first he needed someone to take a look at it.
Fronk turned to the reader. "One thing you must know about being the president is that you always have to assert your dominance to the people, much like a hedgehog amongst porcupines in a green meadow," he said. "My package is going to show America how dominant I truly am."
He pressed the call button on his desk. "Can you send him in?" Frank asked. The doors to the office opened and in came a plumber wearing a gren shirt and blue overalls.
"Tell me your name."
The plumber cowered forward. "It's-a me, Luigi…" he said, frightened.
Frank shook his head and looked at the reader. "He's like a pig in a bacon factory: ripe and for the picking," he said. He turned back to Luigi. "Well, Luigi, it looks like you're going to be a lucky man today. You'll be the first one to observe my… stimulus package."
"Why me?" Luigi asked.
"Because, I'm doing a certain horned turtle a favor," Frank said as he stood up. He walked out from the desk and started to undo his pants. His package was in full form, ten inches of American pleasure. "I've already taken care of your brother, and now, it's time for you to bow down!"
Lugi shook his head. "I'm not going to-a do that," he said, and punches Frank in the stimulus. Frank bent down, covering himself. All of a sudden, Luigi had a new look on his face, a face of diabolical evil. Now, Luigi was going to provide the stimulus, and Frank was going to take it. Frank laughed, turning back to the reader.
"It seems like I've been played, hasn't it?" Frank asked. "Well, you'd be wrong. It was all part of my plan the whole time."
"It's Luigi time!" Lugii exclaimed as he pounded his Italian sausage into Frank's underwood. "Jet fuel can't melt steel beams!"
"That'a boy, Luigi!" Frank said. "Provide me the stimulus package that America deserves! Unleash your freedom into the bowels of the American presidency!"
Luigi let freedom ring and soared high as an eagle that had a huge penis. "LUIGI LUIGI!" Luigi exclaimed. He passed out due to all the freedom given.
Frank stood up and cleaned himself off, putting his clothes back on. "Well, looks like I've inspired at least one person to accept my stimulus package," he said. "Part of getting things done is sometimes having to take it in the rear once in awhile, and believe you me, I love to take it the rear."
He walked out of the ovary office, satisfied with his work. Luigi, meanwhile, rested on the floor while Bowser came in and took a shit on Frank Underwood's deck.
END.