(A/N): So I know I've got so many other stories going on (I'm working on them, don't worry), but this one-shot has been an important idea for me for a long time. "Your Lie in April" had such a big impact on me, I felt obligated to make a contribution to the fandom. It's given me a deeper appreciation for music and the story line was just amazing. I hope I did this justice.
Also, I do mention possible pairings here, but really this can be interpreted however you want. I just thought that these could be possible. And really, I don't care how it happens, but Kousei deserves to be happy.
Please enjoy my tribute to Kaori and Kousei.
Disclaimer: I don't own "Your Lie in April"
~Spring's Passing~
Nagi impatiently tapped her foot as she stood in front of the familiar house. Still holding her phone to her ear, the device ringing endlessly on, she lifted her wrist to check her watch. It was 7:04.
"We're sorry, but the person you are trying to reach—"
Nagi didn't need to hear that for the hundredth time that morning. With a quick flick of her wrist, she snapped her phone shut, trying to look furious but was more worried. She hadn't thought much of it until now, but he hasn't been answering his phone since yesterday.
Tentatively, she looked behind her at the gray van she knew was parked there. Just as she expected, she saw Takeshi and Emi in the front seats, Takeshi looking annoyed as he drummed his fingers on the door impatiently and Emi neutral as she just stared ahead from the driver's seat. Takeshi noticed his sister's staring and met her gaze. He made a sort of shooing motion with his hand, telling Nagi to hurry up for the tenth time since they got there.
With a sigh, the young blonde turned back toward the door, her phone clenched to her chest. Bending down, she lifted the door mat and retrieved the spare key. Inserting it into the lock, she took a deep breath and turned the metal with a click…
The door slammed open with a bang, the ruckus resounding heavily against the walls of the dark abode within.
"ARIMA-SENSEI!" the angry shout seemed to ignore the physical boundaries of the walls and bleed through into every room. "ANSWER YOU'RE PHONE, YOU IDIOT!" Nagi was still screaming as she stomped into the house, barely pausing to kick her shoes off by the door as she headed straight to the one room she knew her mentor would be in. This second door couldn't avoid falling victim to her fury either as it was slammed open. It certainly was a surprise that the force didn't break it off its hinges.
"SEN—!" the girl stopped mid-shout as she stood in the doorway, looking around at the state of the room. Normally, this room was one of the most well-kept in the house, but now the piano, the centerpiece, was littered with loose sheet music. Even the floor was covered with barely an inch of the hard wood showing anywhere. Nagi's eyes widened, blinking a few times as she tried to take it all in. "A-Arima-sensei? Are you in here?" she asked, a little quieter now. Taking a few steps in, she couldn't avoid stepping on some papers. That was when she finally noticed the large lump huddled under the piano.
"AHHHHHHH!" Recognizing the lump to be her teacher, Nagi rushed forward and knelt down next to him. "Arima-sensei! Don't be dead, please!" She gave the body several hard shakes, really hoping that today wasn't the day when her teacher finally yet accidently starved himself to death over his work.
"…Hmm?" A small moan came from Kousei, and that immediately made Nagi still and watch him in apprehension. Slowly, the man, with his glasses askew, sat up and rubbed a fist at his eye. "Nagi? Hey, how're you doing?"
"…HOW AM I DOING?!" Nagi yelled, taking Kousei by the shoulders and shaking what little life he had out of him. "I was worried sick! How about you ask me that when I call you and not wait until I finally have to come and bust your door in to check on you!"
"I'm…sorry," Kousei apologized weakly, still half asleep. "I…was busy."
"I understand! But couldn't you at least check in every once in a while!"
Suddenly, the door was thrown open again, a wild looking Takeshi standing in the doorway as if he were ready to fight. "Nagi, what is it? I heard you scream!" As he completed his sentence, his eyes fell upon his sister and rival on the ground, Nagi in mid-throttle with Kousei between her hands. Next moment, Takeshi was on the ground as well, Kousei's throat now between his hands. "So you finally made a move on her, is that it?! Did you make a move on my little sister?!"
"N-No…Takeshi…I wasn't—"
"O-Onii-chan!" Nagi interjected, her hands grabbing onto Takeshi's arm. "That's not it. He was under the piano again," she explained. Because that was normal.
"Oh," the older blonde stopped his strangling, finally noticing Kousei's weakened state. "Sorry about that, Arima," he said, letting go so that Kousei slumped against the piano leg. Takeshi's eyes looked around at the room. "What the? What have you been doing in here anyway?"
"Composing."
"Are you kidding me?!" Takeshi shouted again. "You mean to tell me you did this to yourself because you waited this long to work on your piece? Don't you have to perform this tomorrow?!"
"I have been working," Kousei murmured, still a little drowsy as he looked at his friends. "I started over two months ago… but I could never get it perfectly. It's taking a lot longer than I thought it would."
"Two months?" Nagi asked. Even knowing her teacher for as long as she had, taking over two months to learn or compose any song was unusual for him.
Takeshi sighed. "You're a hopeless musician. You do realize that our plane leaves today right? I hope you at least packed."
"I did," Kousei answered, then suddenly looked thoughtful. "At least I think I did."
"Ugh! We don't have time for this! Nagi, take him to the car. I'll get his stuff. We don't have time to get you anything to eat, so you're just going to have to wait until we get to the airport. This would be so much easier if Sawabe were here," Takeshi muttered, walking out of the room and running a hand through his spiky, blond hair.
Sighing, Nagi knelt down and grabbed Kousei's arm, wrapping it around her shoulders and pulling him up. Surprisingly easily. "When was the last time you ate?"
"Monday."
"It's Thursday!"
"Is it?"
Nagi sighed again, hauling Kousei out of the room and through the house. It wasn't long before she had him outside and by the van, practically tossing him onto the seat with his shoes.
"Pass out again?" Emi asked, face still impassive as she turned to look at the two.
"Yep," Nagi answered matter-of-factly, her irritation and exasperation now passed, leaving behind a sort of resigned acceptance of the situation.
"Hopeless," Emi stated, though she didn't have any malice in her tone. It looked like she had expected nothing less of Kousei, though, admittedly, she had expected him to keep the date of their flight better. Forgetting something important like this was very out of character for him.
"Oh, wait," Kousei muttered, pulling his shoes on and crawling toward the door. "I forgot my score."
"Sit back down," Nagi ordered, pushing Kousei into his seat by his chest. "I'll get it. Which sheets is it?"
"The ones on the stand and in the folder should be it," the dark-haired man told her, sitting back in his seat.
"'Kay. I'll be back. Igawa-san, please make sure he stays put."
Emi simply nodded in response, and Nagi left, trusting that the other woman would watch after her mentor. The blonde walked back into the house and toward the piano room. There, she went to the elegant instrument and dug through the papers on top. Eventually she found the manila folder, several sheets of sheet music tucked haphazardly inside. Next, she grabbed the pages that were strewn along the keys and compared them to the ones in the folder. Normally, she knew, Kousei somehow marked his music score drafts so that he remembered which pages went how. He changed out pages of his music so many times when composing, it was hard to keep track. Once Nagi thought she had them all, hers eyes widened as she realized just how many pages he had written. Eight. And he still wasn't done yet?
Hearing her brother drop something in the other room, Nagi hurriedly grabbed some of the other sheets and extra blank paper, just in case, then left the room, stopping by the kitchen. Swiftly, she rooted through the cabinets, trying to find at least something Kousei could eat before he fell over dead from hunger. Luckily, she found a package of egg salad sandwiches and a carton of milk. Feeling successful and proud of her efforts, Nagi left the house and walked toward the van.
"Here," the blonde said as she got in, handing the envelope and makeshift meal to Kousei.
He blinked. "Thanks, Nagi," he muttered, looking through the envelope first. Then, looking satisfied with what she had collected, he turned to the pack of sandwiches.
Awhile later, Takeshi exited the house with a suitcase. Barely breaking a stride, he went to the trunk, threw the bag inside, slammed the door shut, then went to his door and got in.
"Who half packs their bags?" he asked. "I mean, once you start, don't you have a mind to at least finish the day you start?"
"Well I did…" Kousei started after swallowing a bite of his sandwich. But of course, he trailed off as everyone knew exactly what his reasoning was.
"Hopeless," Takeshi proclaimed as he glanced back at his rival. For a brief moment, he wondered where exactly he got food from, but then he came to an instant answer. "You're just lucky my sister is so nice to you or else you'd be an even bigger mess."
"It's like she's your wife," Emi commented as she started the car.
"It's not like that!" the two in the back yelled, both their faces slightly flushed as the car began to move. They may have been student and teacher, but there was no denying that only a few years separated them.
After that, the car ride was very subdued. There wasn't much conversation as Kousei drank his milk and scanned over his sheet music, the tune playing over and over in his head as he tried to find some way to fix it. He had gotten the majority of what he wanted down, but the piece in its entirety still didn't feel quite right to him. At some point while they drove, they passed through a street lined with cherry trees. The sudden change in scenery caught Kousei's attention. For a while, all he did was stare out at the passing colors. It was May, the month where Spring changed to Summer. The cherry blossoms were beginning to fall, the petals spiraling serenely through the warm air to land on the ground. Spots of green had begun to mix in with the leftover pink.
Spring is passing, Kousei mused as he watched the trees go by. A small smile reached his face as his mind yet again went back to that fateful day in April twenty years ago, when he had caught sight of a certain violinist and unwittingly fell in love. It seemed that the cherry blossoms especially reminded him of her.
Later on, the four of them finally arrived at the airport. After parking the car, they retrieved their respective bags and went inside, three of them exasperated by a certain someone who would not get his nose out of his sheet music. They checked in their bags, went through security and the like, and eventually found themselves on their plane, somehow miraculously making it on time. Yet, through all that, it seemed as though Kousei never once put down his music. It was obvious to the others that this piece meant a lot to him, and not just because he was showcasing it in front of an important audience in England the next day. No, this was something a little more personal.
A few hours into the plane ride, Kousei was still humming out the notes, varying rhythms and pitches of "ta, ta, ta, ta" coming from his mouth in whispers. Eventually, his fatigue seemed to catch up to him, and he put his music down in his lap with a sigh.
From next to him, Nagi looked worried. "Arima-sensei?"
"Hmm?"
"Are you ok? Maybe I can help."
"Yeah, man," Takeshi said from the other side of his sister, Emi looking over from next to him, "If you need it, maybe we can help you finish up."
Opening his eyes to look at them, Kousei gave his friends an appreciative smile. "Thanks, but this is something I need to finish on my own."
Takeshi shrugged. "If you say so."
It seemed, however, that the girls were a bit more understanding. Emi gave a nod before nudging Takeshi on the arm pointedly. "What?" he asked, but she said nothing, and that only made him ask more. Nagi had a similar reaction, though she just nodded and watched as Kousei went back to his sheet music, seeming to tune everything else out as he focused solely on his notes.
About twelve hours later, the plane landed and the four pianists were picked up by a limousine, as expected. The sights they witnessed on their way to the hotel were enough to awe them. Nagi gaped as she sat in her seat, craning up to get a better look at everything. Takeshi tried not to show it, just sitting there with his finger tapping the armrest, but he found it all to be amazing as well. Emi thought it was something as well, but she only looked outside with the same neutral expression she always wore. Kousei would have been staring out to drink it all in as well, but, not surprisingly, he was too busy with his music to truly appreciate it.
Once they got to the hotel, they took their bags to check in and went straight to their rooms. Nagi wanted to look around town for a little while, and Emi and her brother joined her, but Kousei stayed behind, holed up in his room to work. Nagi only hoped that he wouldn't kill himself over this.
When they got back, the three split up, Nagi and Emi going to their room and Takeshi going to his and Kousei's room with dinner. They were right next door to each other, so once the girl's got into their rooms, they immediately heard Takeshi sigh, telling Kousei to eat and actually unpack before he did anything else. It was quiet after that, nothing seeming amiss as they slept through the night.
The next morning, Nagi and Emi got dressed and headed for breakfast. Instead of eating as four, as they had expected, there was only three of them. Takeshi looked as annoyed as usual, explaining that he had had to tell Kousei to stay and sleep because he was up all night.
At noon, the three of them retrieved their dress clothes from their rooms to head over to the town music hall. Emi and Nagi stood in the lobby for half an hour, waiting and wondering why Kousei and Takeshi were waiting so long. Suddenly, Takeshi came stomping down the hallway, dragging a limp Kousei behind him along with their garment bags.
"He was still composing," the blonde growled, charging passed the girls to the limo waiting outside. And he was, even as he was being dragged, Kousei was still staring at his papers and humming all the way to their destination. He did that all day, never ceasing even as the recital began.
"Ugh." Kousei let out a sigh in frustration, putting his papers aside and laying his head on his knees as he sat on the floor. His fatigue was catching up with him and, really, he just couldn't get the stupid song right.
"You still haven't finished?" Nagi asked gently, smoothing out her skirt and sitting next to him. Kousei silently shook his head, never looking up even as the other two sat on his other side.
"You haven't come up with anything since yesterday?" Takeshi asked, his eyebrow raised.
Kousei shook his head again, but he looked up this time. "I just need to figure out the ending. I've written a few out, but none of them sound right."
"Just play what sounds best in the moment." Emi suggested. They all knew that, sometimes, musicians weren't sure exactly how to play a piece until they were in the heat of playing it.
Kousei thought on it for a moment. He had been working on this for a long time now. It seemed like playing by instinct was the only way he could actually get out there and do this. But then again… he had to try and finish it.
"I… I'll still try to finish in time, but if that doesn't happen," he nodded, "I'll do my best."
A small smile reached Emi's face as her hand rested on his shoulder. "Good luck to you."
"It's not even his turn yet," Takeshi muttered. "But he'll get it. Right, Arima?"
Kousei smiled a bit himself. "Yeah. Thanks, Takeshi."
"Nagi Aiza, you're on in five."
Immediately, Nagi's face paled.
"You're up, sis. Good luck."
"Th-thanks, Onii-chan," Nagi responded, her nerves plainly obvious as she stood up, her legs shaking as she smoothed down her lilac dress with her palms.
"Just breathe. You'll do fine," Emi assured her.
Nagi nodded, doing as she was told, but ultimately, she looked to Kousei, her mentor for the better part of twenty years.
He smiled. "I haven't had anything to teach you for years now. Just do it the way you've practiced."
The girl took a shaky breath. "Ok." She turned to go, but stopped and looked back. "I'll see you guys in a few minutes." And with that, she left, her heels clicking down the hall.
With a sigh, Takeshi pushed himself up using the wall. "Better go watch and see how she does."
As he headed to the AV room, Emi stood up, brushed herself off, and offered a hand to Kousei. "You need a break. Come watch her with us."
Kousei hesitated. He really should work on his score, but he has been for the past two months and hasn't gotten anywhere… and anyway, he knew he had an obligation to Nagi to watch her play. With a nod, he reached for Emi's hand and was pulled up. Maybe watching Nagi would inspire him.
Smiling, Nagi stood and faced the crowd. Glad that her performance was over yet still proud of what she had achieved. She gave a small curtsy, her silky dress sweeping the floor, before turning and walking herself offstage. She could still hear the cheering of the crowd as she left, barely noticing some people acknowledge her performance as she made it through the double doors. Her eyes were bright and her heart was still pounding from the rush as she made her way to the AV room where she knew everyone else was.
"How'd you like that?" she asked, looking around at her senior pianists.
Takeshi smiled. "Not bad, little sister," he said, petting the top of her head with his hand. "You might even be as good as me."
"A splendid performance," Emi nodded in agreement.
Nagi smiled in return. "Thank you," she said, before turning to the person whose opinion mattered the most. "…Arima-sensei?"
For a moment, Kousei was silent, his face stoic as he looked at his student through glare-covered glasses. "Do you want my honest opinion?"
"Yes," Nagi nodded, looking at him head-on with determination.
"Alright… You messed up measures eleven, eighteen, twenty-five, forty-one—I could go on and on. Not to mention your dynamics were all over the place. Where have you been for the past twenty years?"
Nagi's jaw dropped, disbelief and anger the only things registering to her. "What are you talking about?! I played that perfectly, just as you taught me! I can't see how I messed up any of it!"
"Oh really? Because I couldn't help but notice over a dozen flaws with that performance."
"Yes, really! I did it just as I was supposed to! There was nothing wrong with it and your accusations are completely unreasonable!"
There was an intense silence between them then, Emi and Takeshi only staring as the mentor and student duo stared each other down. Then, to everyone's surprise, Kousei smiled.
"Good. I'm glad that you have confidence in yourself."
"…What?"
Kousei continued to smile as he looked at her. "You did play that piece perfectly, just as I expected of you, and now I'm glad that you've learned to know that too. Once you know how to play, you play just as you want to and you will be an exceptional pianist."
For a long moment, Nagi just stared, too much at a loss for words. Having known Kousei as closely and for as long as she had in the way that she did, she knew that he would sometimes go to unexpected methods to challenge her and help her grow as a musician. But really, sometimes they were unexpectedly unexpected.
"…"
"Thank you, Arima-sensei!" Nagi exclaimed, suddenly launching herself at Kousei and throwing her arms around him in a tight embrace. She had considered it an honor to even be invited to this large scale event in the first place and now she was being praised by her role model? Her ambitions as a successful, world-class pianist suddenly seemed so much closer.
"It wasn't me," Kousei chuckled, hugging her back. "It was all you. And I don't think you have to call me that anymore. You've achieved so much."
"Uh, ok." Nagi said, pulling away and looking hesitant. "K-Kousei… I better get changed." Still smiling, she turned and left the room.
Kousei was still smiling faintly until he noticed the dark aura surrounding Takeshi. He was practically shaking in rage, his fist raised in a silent warning. Meanwhile, Emi just watched from the sidelines impassively. Though, inside, she was thinking about how Takeshi should loosen the reins on his sister a bit. She was a grown woman and had the right to pursue whoever she wanted.
Wanting to leave before things got more awkward for him, Kousei left, his mind immediately going back to his song as he crossed the threshold.
Panting heavily, Takeshi sat at the bench for a moment, letting his song resonate through his body and the stadium alike for just a bit longer. When he finally came back to himself, he slowly stood from the bench, turning to look out at the roaring crowd.
"Heh." With that small, nervous laugh, he bowed, trying to calm his racing heart before he stood straight again and headed for the door offstage. His mind was still buzzing as he left. He didn't even notice the man waiting to congratulate him at the door before he passed through it and practically collapsed heavily onto the floor. On his hands and knees, he panted "I still can't believe I feel this way after performing. How long have I been doing this for?"
Suddenly, a shadow fell over him. Looking up, he wasn't very surprised to find that it was Emi. She was still wearing her long, sleeveless red dress from her performance, and was smiling slightly as she looked down at him. "You'd think you'd have enough experience by now not to pee yourself after a performance."
"You weren't exactly graceful either!" Takeshi shot back, remembering how Emi had come backstage seething. And that had continued long after her turn had passed.
Emi said something back down to him, Takeshi only shouting again as he stared at her. Down the hall, Nagi was watching them. Just kiss already, she thought with a sigh. Seriously, you would think that these two would have figured out their feelings by now.
Footsteps from behind her made Nagi turn around.
"Hey, Nagi," Kousei greeted as he walked up to her, clad in his usual navy tux. Hearing Takeshi down the hall, he turned and looked with curiosity. "What's going on?"
"The usual," Nagi replied, watching as Takeshi finally grabbed Emi's hand and was pulled up.
"Ah," was all Kousei could say, joining Nagi in watching the other two come down the hallway.
"Ha! What did you think of that, Arima?" Takeshi boasted, strutting over with obvious pride. From behind him, Emi was standing by again, but she might as well have been rolling her eyes.
"It was really good," Kousei complimented easily. "That's going to be a hard act to follow."
"…You bet it is!" The blonde exclaimed after registering he had actually gotten a compliment, slinging an arm around his rival's shoulders and walking him over to the stage entrance. "Though, I suppose you'll at least do decently. We got invited to this level of an event for a reason. Wait." Suddenly he came to a stop, Kousei glancing at him sideways in confusion. "Have you finished yet?"
"Well… I know all the parts. I'll just do what Emi said and play the way I feel."
Takeshi thought on that for a moment, but eventually nodded his head in approval. "That sounds best." Without warning, he gave Kousei a shove through the door. "Now get out there and do it."
"H-Hey!" He protested, his glasses almost slipping off as he steadied himself and looked back. But as he glimpsed his friends through the doorway, any ill will he had felt ebbed away. Takeshi was standing there, his face obviously attempting to make him look broody, but just the fact that he was still standing there meant he was giving Kousei his support. Behind him, Kousei could just see Emi and Nagi, Emi giving him a half-smile and Nagi waving at him encouragingly.
Allowing himself to smile back at them for a moment, Kousei stood just within the darkness of the side stage. Then, with a deep breath, he turned, his nerves coming back to him as he stared at the piano center-stage. Even though this auditorium was in a different country, it still looked so familiar. He could just picture that familiar, free-spirited girl standing in front of the piano, violin in hand as she smiled at him.
With one last breath, Kousei Arima started across the stage. The whole room was silent as he made his way to the piano. His blue eyes didn't even look at the audience as he bowed to them. Not that this event wasn't important to his career, but in order to play this song right, he couldn't think about them.
Absorbed by his thoughts, Kousei sat at the bench, his back straight and his hands resting on his knees as he prepared himself to perform. He had come a long way from being the human metronome. He was sure the crowd was thinking that too, or at least the ones there who knew him. He had gone from mathematically perfect to horrible to the musician he was today. He smiled, knowing that his mom would be proud to see him where he was now. This was really all she had wanted for him, and he would always thank her for starting him on this path.
But she wasn't the only one that had helped him along the way.
A smile graced Kousei's face at the very thought of her: Kaori Miyazano. Without her, he would probably still be trapped within his guilt, doubt, and insecurity, unable to play more than a few bars before closing up and having a panic attack. She had shown him how to be more than just a pianist. Now, he was an musician. It was only fitting that the first song he composed and performed in front of a major audience such as this was in honor of her.
He took another breath. Placing his fingertips delicately on the keys, he closed his eyes, searching within himself for his emotion as the music sheet flashed before his eyes. Now was the moment when he would show the world all that made him who he was. He would do it right. For her.
The first notes of his song came out gently, floating out on the air with a delicate grace that flowed from his fingers. He moved with such care, caressing each key he touched as if it would break if he was too rough. Gradually, he played down to the lower register, the notes resonating with a certain nostalgia even as he moved up and back down again. The song slowed, but only for a moment as he released his sadness and moved on.
The tempo picked up slightly, and suddenly the keys were a bit less delicate as he played from his soul. He remembered the day he first met her, and how he was fond of their incessant quarreling as he looked back. He remembered seeing her play, and how he was so enamored with it his whole being was consumed just by watching, listening, to something so passionate and heartfelt, something he had never experienced of the like before. And he remembered how he was. The exact opposite. He remembered how much he struggled, how much he agonized over who and what he lost, what he felt like he could never attain again. It had eaten at him, slowly rotting him away until he was nothing. And then, she appeared almost out of nowhere, pushing and shoving him to get up, to never give up, because living this life was such a beautiful thing. He hadn't believed at first and had resisted with everything he had. But she fought, fought with that warmth and that fire she had and pulled him out of the darkest depths. She had saved him, and he would never forget for as long as he breathed.
As the song reached climaxed and pulled back again, Kousei let his consciousness float away from him, going beyond his body and letting himself be pulled into the music that he had come to love again, that he had finally been able to hear after so long. Before, he and the music and been two separate things, the score and the pianist, but now they had become something entirely different altogether, something that could only be achieved by merging onto one. He let the music guide him now, and he gladly gave in to its every whim.
The notes grew and pulled back, grew and pulled back until they reached a more subtle, yet frantic intensity. Suddenly, he remembered visiting her in the hospital, being too afraid to so much as look at her for fear of losing her. It was happening again, and just the thought of that left him paralyzed. He didn't want it to happen, but he was losing her even though he felt like he had never had her in the first place. And yet, even as she could no longer stand, she stood by him, supporting him all the way no matter what she was feeling. Her passion and resolve burned so bright, even when she was slowly slipping away.
He remembered taking her to the roof in the snow and the cold, watching her play her beloved instrument one last time before collapsing against him, broken and in tears.
And then, that last performance. He had played, begging and praying that he would get to perform with her just one more time. And then she had died, leaving him to heartbreak and tragedy once again.
And then he received a letter, and he learned that, all that time, even with the fights and disagreements, after all the struggling and endless upon endless attempts to resist and to accept something less, something deep down he knew he never wanted, she loved him too.
He realized then that that was what had saved him. Even as she suffered, she loved him enough to try for him, to give him his best chance. He only wished he had known sooner, but he would never forget. She would always be a part of him ingrained to his heart and his soul. He would always remember, and always cherish what she had been to him.
The crowd was deathly silent for a long time. It was as if the world itself had frozen, immortalizing the immediate silence. Wordlessly, Kousei turned and stared at the audience.
That was when the applause erupted. The thunderous clapping of hands rolled down to him, the crowd standing up in waves row after row. Whistles and cheers rang out from several places. Some were even brought to tears, their eyes red as salty liquid spilled shamelessly down their faces.
A small smile made its way onto Kousei's face. Seeing this, he knew she would be proud. He only wished that she was there to enjoy it with him.
Suddenly, a scene flashed before his eyes. He saw Kaori, standing beside the piano just as she had at their first performance. Only… she looked different. She looked older, more mature. She wore a long, pure white dress that reached the floor, her hair gently sweeping her shoulders. Her violin was in one hand, her bow in the other, cherry blossoms spiraling delicately through the air from the tree behind her. She was beautiful, just as Kousei remembered, but what she was wearing didn't so much have an effect on him as what he saw on her face. She was smiling at him, gently, fondly. Her silvery, blue-gray eyes sparkled as they met his, and for a moment, it felt like she was really there.
Kousei blinked.
The crowd was still cheering loudly, maybe a little too loudly for the occasion. But that made Kousei happy, even as he felt tears prick at the backs of his eyes when he bowed.
When the musician finally made it backstage again, he found his friends pretty much exactly where he had left them. Position-wise.
For a long time, Takeshi just stared at him in silence. His earlier bravado had vanished, leaving him stunned and obviously at a loss for words.
"…And you said you had trouble with the ending."
"I agree," Emi added, knowing what Takeshi was getting at. A small smile was on her face as she faced Kousei. What she had just heard epitomized the musician she had always admired. She had always known that was the real Kousei, and she was glad that he had finally realized it after all he had been through. "That piece was perfect."
Kousei gave them a small smile of his own. "Thanks, guys."
"A—Kousei?" He looked over at the voice. Nagi stood nearest to him, looking at him with tears in her eyes. For a moment, he just looked at her, watching as she attempted to gather herself before speaking again with a smile. "You were thinking of her, weren't you?"
His smile turned a melancholic. "Yes."
Nagi sniffed, closing her eyes as she wiped at them with her finger. "It was beautiful."
His smile grew a little wider. "Thanks, Nagi."
In the end, he knew that this performance had done more than just boost his career. He had planned something like this from the start, but finally feeling this light was gratifying. It had changed him as a person, and that was something only music could do for him.
Maybe with this experience, he could finally, fully, move on. Kaori would always be a part of him, but now that he had successfully captured and paid respect to all she had meant to him, it would be easier to let go, to go out and find something that would truly fill his life with happiness and fulfillment as he was sure she would have.
Maybe, finally, he could let Spring pass and let Summer arrive.
(A/N): Just so you can look it up and imagine, I have it in my head that Kousei plays the theme song "Hikari Nara"