Here I stand. Between my friend and his fiance. The best man at a wedding that should never have taken place, and must be prevented from being finished. I'm sweating heavily. Nervously awaiting the signal when I'll spring my trap and end this. I think over the events that led up to this day to pass time. And I wonder how things got so out of hand.

"If there is anybody here who has any reason why these two should not be wed, please say so now, or forever keep your silence."

Show time.

Eight months earlier.

I'm walking through the streets of Hearthome city when I see him. It's Lucas. And he's late for our weekly drunken pokemon fight, again. I was honestly thinking about training him to more expedious, but I knew I'd never get around to it.

He's running towards me with all speed like I'm going to blow up at him, but I'm not angry. Just impatient. He comes to a stop in front of me, panting and stuff.

"Are you ever going to be here on time?" I ask.

"Dude, I'm six seconds late. Are you ever going to stop being so picky?"

Excuses, excuses. That's all I ever hear out of him. "No. You can't be a good trainer if you're always late for shit."

Lucas just rolls his eyes at this. He's never really liked my uncanny ability to be on time, every time. Then again, I've never really liked it either.

"Well, sorry for being "late". I ran into a pokemon on my here, and I had to catch it."

"What for?" I ask confused. "Isn't your Pokedex already complete?"

Lucas shakes his head and says "I was missing one entry: Lucario."

"Oh, yeah. that's right. You finally cought it, huh?"

"Not it, her."

"Her?" I never refer to my pokemon by gender. I prefer to leave them as its, so as to keep it in their puny little brains that humans are the masters of the world. This usually led to my confusion at his usage of pronouns.

"It was a female. And I cought her."

"Whatever. Are you planning to battle with it?

"It's her, and no I'm not going to battle with her."

"Shame, I would've loved to see what drunken commands you would give it-er her."

"That's why she's not battling." Lucas looks around as if looking for something. "Where's the liquor anyway?"

I hold up a pokeball and hit the button. Two 2-liter bottles of scotch pop out.

"I had to smuggle them inside here. My mom wouldn't let me leave the house uninspected. I think she may be catching on. Here." I hold out one of the bottles for him to take, when both bottles fly into the air, and smash themselves on the pavement.

"Halt!" a voice says from behind. "Stay where you are!"

"Great..." says Lucas "Officer Nobeer."

Turning around to face the officer, I see his Kadabra keeping pace alongside him. The culprit behind our lack of booze. The officer stands before us, proud and confident.

"What may I ask were you two doing with scotch?" he asks. I really want to flip him off. I bet Lucas does too. But instead, he answers the question.

"Pouring it out in a display of anti-booze protesting?"

"After producing it from a pokeball?" he says skeptically. "No dice, mister. You were either going to drink it, or have your pokemon drink it." Nobeer looks down at the ground and shakes his head. "I don't know why everybody wants to battle drunk lately. It's disgusting."

"Maybe it's because some of the commands are so hilarious." Lucas blurts out. I feel like strangling him. Now we're sure to get in trouble.

"Aha! I was right!"

So was I. Lucas' face fell, clearly aware of his mistake.

"Six days of community service for both of you." Nobeer informs us happily. "I'll see you both bright and early tomorrow morning, children." As he walks away into the distance, I yell "We're not children already! We're seventeen years old!"

"Give it up man." Lucas tells me. "They'll keep calling us kids until we turn eighteen."

"Easy for you to say! You're turning eighteen next week!"

"True dat."

We start walking along the streets, chatting, laughing, enjoying our last free moments before forced labor hits us. We eventually wind up in our favorite burger joint, "Gud Booger". Rather than ordering anything, however, we just go to our usual table, and sit down for a long talk. It would be the last normal talk we would have for a long time.