Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts 2 wish I did, but sadly I don't

Kingdom Hearts 2 On Crack

Chapter 1: Every Story Has to Start Somewhere

Sora awoke on the street, his head hurt really bad. He had started drinking very heavily the night before. He didn't have anything to do after he had helped sealed Kingdom Hearts for the second and hopefully the final time. He looked around and found Riku walking around with his trenchcoat selling his merchandise. He walked around very meekly and very paranoid. His profession made him very nervous.

"Yo Riku help me up!" said Sora as he shook his head, which wasn't helping much.

"Man, did you get drunk again last night? This has to stop!" said Riku as he helped up Sora.

"Whatever...I'm so damn depressed! There's nothing out there for me anymore!" bellowed Sora.

"Well, stop wasting your life around alcohol and buy some stuff from me!" said Riku trying to make a profit.

"No thanks, I'll just take a swig from my private stash," said Sora as he pulled out a private flask and took drink. He immideately passed out and Kairi came out from the bushes and ran over to him.

"You didn't see anything..." said Kairi as she dragged off Sora.

"Won't you ever learn, he doesn't want you anymore..." said Riku as he saw a cop in the corner in his eye,"Uh, gotta go!"

---

Sora woke up and he was chained to a bed. Kairi was standing next to the bed in a skimpy outfit that was revealing a lot of skin. She held a whip in her hand as she began to undress Sora slowly...

---

Axel was a mailman and he did his job better than anyone else. He was hardworking diligent and incredibly close to his clients. He looked at all the mail he had to deliver by the end of that day, it wasn't all that much. "Another route, another paycheck," said Axel as he walked up the street in his black robe staring at Riku's mom. She was a beautiful woman, I mean, Riku had to get it from somewhere right?

"Hello Axel, do you have anything for me?" asked Riku's mom.

"Oh yes I do. He's in my pants..." said Axel in a seductive voice.

"Oh my Axel...I didn't think you were so forward!" said Riku's mother as she covered her face with her hands.

"My dear, don't worry. I'm very gentle," said Axel as he stroked her face.

"Oh my," said Riku's mother as she became flustered.

"Come inside, you look a bit flustered," said Axel as he led Riku's mother inside the house.

---

Roxas, Wakka, and Tidus walked down the streets tossing newspapers. They were the paperboy trio of the island. They made sure the people got the hardhitting news that they crave. They took to the streets pretty late to get the evening news out before nightfall.

"Stupid printing company, why can't they get it out before 7 ya?" said Wakka with an annoyed tone in his voice.

"Maybe the same reason the mail people get the mail out late to people," said Tidus as he yawned. Their job called for them to deliver the papers before nine o' clock.

"Look you guys! If we don't do this for the people, they'll never get their news and won't you feel bad to know that they didn't get the only small part of their lives that we can give them? And besides, I need the money to pay for the kids food. They don't come cheap you know," said Roxas with desperation in his voice. He was struggling so hard to make ends meet, he didn't mean to get Naminé pregnant it kinda just happened.

Then, they saw Selphie on the corner selling her 'product' to anyone that would want it. She looked so slutty in all that leather that revealed so much skin. She was pretty much Kairi's disciple.

"Hey you guys! Any of you want any?" said Selphie in a very seductive voice.

"Oh sorry Selph, me fresh out of cold cash ya..." said Waka as he took out a small container and dumped some of the contents onto his hand which he proceeded to snort.

"I'd love to Selph but you remember what happened last time..." said Tidus as he held his genitals.

Roxas dug into his back pocket and pulled out a five dollar bill,"Is this enough?"

"That'll do fine for an hour sweetie," said Selphie as she led Roxas away gently by the hand.

---

Sora left Kairi's house barely able to walk. He never thought she'd do something like that to him. His head wasn't spinning anymore, why would it be after the immense amount of pleasure she had tried to give him? Sora walked away slowly, barely moving anywhere with his tiny steps. She had really done a number on him and he gave up struggling half way through. He looked up and saw Axel coming out of Riku's house with a look of great satisfaction on his face. Sora dumped his flask and walked over to Axel.

"Hey Axel, any mail for me?" asked Sora as he stared at Axel. Sora always knew that there was something not quite right about Axel.

"Oh yes sweet stuff..." said Axel as he dug into his bag and pulled out a letter with the king's seal on it.

"Is that?" he was cut short by Axel putting the letter away.

"If you want the letter... You'll do as I say Sora..." said Axel as he looked at Sora seductively.

"Oh really?" said Sora as he gave Axel as stiff kick to the balls. Axel groaned in pain as he doubled over in pain. Sora ran over to Axel and took the letter from him. He ran all the way home wondering what the letter could say...

To Be Continued...