Title: Only Half-Living Author: Emma Summary: When Piper leaves her family, she doesn't realize how it will affect herself and her family. Pairing: P/L. Spoilers: None Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the plot and characters you don't recognize A/N: This is the January 2002 challenge at www.leopiper.cjb.net . It was writing about if HMC left the show...how would Piper leave/die...who would leave/die with her? It's set sometime in the beginning of the 4th season. I know I didn't delve into the plot too much or the reasons why Piper feels the way she does but that is completely up to you guys! :D



Only Half-Living

"God damn it, Leo! I need space. Can't you give that to me? If you love me as much as you say you do, you should let me do this." Leo's hurt expression made Piper soften up a little bit. "I know this is hard for you. It's hard for me too. But I just can't live like this anymore. It hurts too much."

Leo closed the small distance between them and wrapped her in a warm embrace. Kissing her on her forehead, he said, "I respect your decisions. I'll always love you."

Piper gave him a gentle squeeze and picked up her bag, leaving without another glance at her love.

~ ~ ~

Singing loudly and completely out of tune to the radio, Piper took the highway from San Francisco and kept driving until the fiery red ball slowly sank and the sky became black. She had no idea where she was and she didn't care. She got out of the car and skipped towards the nearest hotel, completely embracing her new life. She booked her room and only when she was lying in bed did she realize what she had done. "I really left them, didn't I?" she thought out loud. "It was for the better." She shivered under the blankets and reached out, hugging the sheets close to her body. "I would be warm with Leo here. I could turn back. He'd accept me. No, this is better." She told herself that over and over again, as if trying to convince herself that she could live without Leo or her sisters.

~ ~ ~

2 months later.

"She's really gone, isn't she?" Leo looked up from the picture as he was jerked from his thoughts to reply to Phoebe.

"I keep hoping, you know? I keep hoping that maybe one day she'll miss us too much and come back as quickly as she left." Phoebe shot her eyes downcast and sat next to Leo on his bed. "Leo, this isn't good for you. You have to get out. You haven't seen the sun in two months."

"She was my sun."

~ ~ ~

3 months later.

"Piper, you've never told me about your past. I've only known you for two months. Where do you come from? Who are you?"

"I don't talk about my past. It hurts too much."

"Can't you just tell your best friend a little bit?"

"No, Leah. I can't stand it. Please don't mention it again." Piper quickly looked out the window and thought of something to talk about instead.

"Okay, sorry." They sat for ten minutes in uneasy silence before Piper started to say something.

"It was great. It was everything I had dreamed of. I had a great husband and doting sisters. We all loved each other." Piper sighed as if she was finished but Leah pressed on.

"That doesn't sound bad. I don't understand why you left."

"Neither do I."

~ ~ ~

5 months later.

"Leo, she's not coming back."

"Phoebe, you keep saying that but there's still hope..."

"No, not now." Leo looked up at Phoebe's tear stained face and signaled for her to sit beside him.

"What happened?"

"She committed suicide." Phoebe stuttered on most of the words unable to comprehend what this really meant.

"She did what?"

"She left this note for all of us and a friend, Leah, sent it to us from Ohio. Here."

Phoebe's hand jutted out and Leo took the crumpled note, trembling. The note was hand written in Piper's best handwriting. It was worn on the edges and crumpled from dry tears. Leo read it out loud to the two sisters.

"Leah, could you please mail this to the Halliwells. They live in San Francisco. Thank you so much. I'm sorry, but I have to do this.

Dear Paige, I never got a chance to know you and love you like I should have done. You'll be a great witch and you already are a great sister. When I left I told myself I wouldn't miss you because I didn't know you, but I was wrong. I'm sorry for making your life hell.

Dear Phoebe, I was kidding myself when I thought I could just leave without saying goodbye or explaining myself. I thought it would hurt less, but it didn't. There wasn't a day when I didn't regret just running out of the door and not saying goodbye or that I loved you. Well now I have that chance. Goodbye Phoebe. You're a great sister to me and now you need to be strong for Paige. I love you.

Dear Leo, I don't know what I was thinking. I don't know how I could have just left. God, how I wish I had stayed. I could have had a much better life. You're probably reading this with a look of disgust right now, aren't you? You have every right to despise me. I was selfish and now I realize you were right. I didn't need a new life, I just needed you. But I was too stubborn to see that and now I'll have to pay the consequences. Every time the sun rose I thought about returning but I couldn't. I didn't want to be hurt if you didn't accept me. And why would you? I left you. That wasn't me speaking. Somewhere inside of me I knew you would accept me but I couldn't live with that. That's why I didn't return. So every day I grieved for what we could have had and my life was miserable. That's why I need to end it. I have always loved you, Leo, please don't think I haven't. I always will love you. I'll be waiting for you.

~Piper"

Leo sighed and hugged Phoebe close to him. "Will you be alright without me?"

"What do you mean, Leo?"

"I have to go be with Piper."

Phoebe looked up, completely shocked, but then she realized what she meant. Paige nodded her silent agreement.

"I understand, Leo, go."

~ ~ ~

The funeral was held on the following Sunday. Both bodies were buried together so they could journey to heaven together where they could have a peaceful uninterrupted life of love.

Fin.

A/N: I know, I know depressing. Sorry. Must have been in a bad mood when I dreamed that one up.

You know you want to click the little purple button...yeah, that's the one. The one that lets you review. Good, girls and boys. Lol...I really need sleep.