Warning: This is very angsty. I wrote it because I was having a very bad day. If depressing thoughts and suicide bother you, just don't read it. M'kay? Aight.

Oh, and to anyone who knows me really well and gets worried by this…don't. I'm not going to hang myself. That's just wrong.

Disclaimer: Look on my profile.

INVISIBLE

A solitary salty tear ran its sorrowful course. She reached up and carelessly wiped it away. She didn't care. She didn't feel anything anymore. Her heart was cold and mechanical, and her body an empty shell. She didn't feel love, hate, joy, annoyance, or hurt…especially hurt. She locked away everything that once mattered to her and put it aside. To a place where no one else would find it. A place that she would forget.

She sought ways to mask her being, to hide it from everyone and anyone who pretended to care. Yes, pretended. Nobody really cared. They said they did, but it wasn't true. All they cared about were the trivial things that truly didn't matter. They kept up appearances; wearing fashionable clothing, styling their hair, applying kohl, and suffocating themselves – I'm sorry – slimming their waists were all for the sake of what others thought. What others might think. They pretended to see her, pretended to understand her, but they didn't. All they saw was a shell of a body, void of heart and soul. She was virtually invisible. And not because she wanted to be – because she didn't – but because she wasn't what they expected; she wasn't what they wanted; she wasn't what they were. They were scared of her...but, of course, they'd never say it. They would say she is quiet, snobbish, or shy. They would make excuses; there was always a reason for doing what they did to her. It used to hurt her.

And do you know what they did then?

They asked her what was wrong. If they could help. And when she said no, they couldn't, the cycle started all over again. She became the "stuck-up, ungrateful, arrogant, snotty girl who was too-good-for-them." She used to want to scream, "YOU'RE WHAT'S WRONG! YOU'RE WHO MADE ME WHAT I AM! YOU'RE WHY I AM INVISIBLE!" But she never did that. Why? It would be unacceptable and formidable to everyone else. She would only be shunned and avoided more.

So she locked all of it away. It was easier that way, wasn't it? She wouldn't need to deal with love, remorse, aggravation, or wasting her time sympathizing for those who made her life a living hell. All of it was trapped and stored away, never to be found by anyone. All of it, that is, except one thing…self-remorse. She drove herself crazy. How could she be so selfish? So self-centered?

Maybe that's just how it was meant to be. Maybe some people are born to be invisible, born to be shunned, born to be rejected. She looked down at the ground, the beautiful French patterns swirling four feet below her. It looked so far away…and so inviting. The rope was chafing her neck, as if to say, "No going back now. Just do it."

And that she did.

She jumped.

And she's no longer invisible.