That day was the day I regret the most, the day of the beginning, the day of my awakening. The day I died. It didn't start out too far from the ordinary; I woke up, got dressed, ate breakfast, and went to work. But then, on my way back home, fully expecting my beautiful wife to have a warm, delicious meal ready at the table, I met something. Namely, the bumper of a car. A very big car. That was traveling very fast. I could feel pain in my abdominal region and my legs. I tried to move my arm slightly, to tell the crowd that was gathering around me, but it wouldn't listen. And then, I blacked out.

When I woke up next, there was no pain. I didn't open my eyes though, not because they wouldn't listen, but because I wouldn't. I wasn't sure if I was just heavily dosed with morphine or if I really was, well, dead. I felt a tug in my gut area and then, there was pain.

The pain seared through my entire body, going through each nerve. I would have yelled out and screamed, had I been able to. I winced as it continued, and twitched as wave after wave crashed upon me. And then, it stopped. I dared to open my eyes. And what I saw, confused me.

I saw my wife, my beautiful darling wife. She was crying and stared at me in shock. I moved toward her, to hug her and console her, to tell her I was there for her. As I did so, she scooted back, scuttling away in fear. I stared at her, and felt a deep rage within myself. Anger at the expression my wife was giving me. The rage blinded me, and when I came to my senses, all I could see was her lifeless body.

"Good job dear akuma~!"

I spun around, looking for the source of the voice. As I did so, I caught a glimpse of myself. I was revolted, disgusted. I looked like a machine. Gray, hard, metallic. My eyes seemed to be nothing more than lifeless holes in what appeared to just barely resemble a face. There was a pentacle upon my forehead. My body was egg shaped with unforgiving spikes jutting out all around.

"Why don't you take the body of your beloved wife?"

I tore my eyes away from my reflection and confronted the person who was talking. It was a fat gray man, with a top hat. He was wearing a strange, large beige jacket, with two large buttons and a purple collar. His ears flopped down from under his hat, and resembled elfin ears. He had a grin on his face that sent shivers down my bent back.

I didn't want to, but I saw myself moving toward my wife. I really did try to stop myself but even as I did, I felt sharp pains around my legs. They continued moving forward.

"Fighting back, are you~?" the rotund man frowned slightly. "Well, you'll soon find out that listening to us will be the best choice~"

As I went along forward, I felt a million questions running through my head. I opened my mouth and one came out.

"What am I?"

The man seemed to expect this question, and, jovially, "You are an akuma. You do my, the Millennium Earl, bidding."

It was eerily quiet in the room. I turned to look at him again. To demand my freedom. As I did, I caught my reflection again. I was in my wife's body. My stomach turned a bit as I saw my wife's reflection. Mine. I felt like I wanted to cry.

No tears came out.

"Happy birthday to you~! Happy birthday to you~! Happy birth—"

"Oh lookie, lookie! Exorcists!" I laughed to myself.

It was already years since I became an akuma. I learned, over the years, that it was easiest just to follow the orders of the Noah's and of the Earl. It just simply caused too much unnecessary pain to not do it. It was also evident that as your level got higher, you became more humanoid, even if only in appearance. And even that was enough for us.

Today, I was just on another errand of mass killing. In the crowd that I was in, I spotted two exorcists. Idly, I wondered why exorcists always wear such conspicuous clothing if it was just a warning sign to us akuma.

The white haired one muttered something to the ginger and both looked in my direction. I knew the white haired one; he was the one that Rhode and the Earl were interested in. I licked my lips in anticipation. If both were interested, then he had to be a good fight.

I waited, debating whether or not I should attack first. If I did not, then the bystanders would all be in a panic, seeing them attack me, a poor defenseless, beautiful, damsel. Or at least that was the body I was in. I scrunched my nose at the thought of me being a damsel in distress.

At least if I do, then the exorcists would be blamed for the attack. I had decided by then, I would let them do the first move, and as luck would have it, just then, a child ran into me. I was already on guard, preparing for their attack, and of course, attacked the child instead.

The exorcists leapt up immediately, astounding me with their amazing reflexes. I came out of my 'skin,' and smirked as the crowd screeched with horror. I would have aimed for some of them and, maybe, aid the Earl in creating a few more akuma. That was sure to get me into the next level, I had been doing good lately.

But as I was absorbed in my own thoughts, I failed to notice the 'fire' symbol that had appeared under me and quickly leapt out of the way. Just as I did, the white haired boy claw took a swipe at me. Luckily, it just barely grazed my arm. I gritted my teeth as I attacked them. I grinned slightly as I noticed I managed to injure them quite seriously. The red head's arm wouldn't be able to be in use for the next few weeks.

He howled with pain, and that was just music to my ears. The white haired one, however, only got his leg injured. But the intense bleeding did make up for it. I released bullets from all of my cannons to the crowd. I heard a small gasp from him that made my entire body tingle. His expression when people in the crowd shatter was just exquisite. He winced as he put too much weight on his injured leg.

My gloating just gave him an opening to attack me.

The white haired boy rushed toward me before I could even react, and I heard him say, as his claw tore my body apart, "Poor akuma, may your soul be saved."

I wanted to cry, to scream out that I never wanted to kill them, to kill anyone. That this strange rage and the queer longing for humanity kept me killing them. That it was all the Earl's fault. But without my vocal chords, I couldn't say a word, and could only cry and smile sadly as I felt myself being torn away from the world. This time for good. I closed my eyes and awaited the pain to come.

Just before I did, I saw Rhode at the corner of the street, smirking as she licked her lollipop. The master that I had served for so long, smirking at me as if I was just some random level one that had caused more trouble than help. I sighed as I welcomed, and was engulfed in, pain.

There's one thing that the exorcists do not know. Ripping a soul from a body is a painful matter. Not just to the body that the soul was in, but it leaves the soul withered and damaged for all of eternity. The soul can still feel the pain lasting, stinging forever. It is the worst fate for anyone, worse than being reduced to dark matter. Worse than hell.

--

"First, try to imagine our whole country is a mountain of sand. A mountain of sand so high that it reaches to the clouds, and so wide that it stretches from one ocean to the other…

"How long do you think it would take to move this mountain of sand, all the way across the ocean, until you have the mountain over there and an empty space here? [A] little bird, a sparrow is going to move that mountain for you. And the sparrow can only hold on e little grain of sand in its beak. It has to pick up only one grain of sand, fly all the way across the wide ocean, put down the grain of sand, then fly all the way back for another grain of sand. It takes the little bird weeks to fly across the sand, and each time it carries only one grain of sand…

"[W]hen the little bird has moved the mountain of sand across the ocean, that is only the first day of eternity."

-Father Byrnes, Bless Me, Ultima